3 Non-Romantic Reasons I Love My Wife

On the surface, it’s easy to see why I chose to spend the rest of my life with the woman I married over 9 years ago. She’s universally beautiful, she’s unselfishly kind, and she’s humble yet confident in herself.

I am a lucky man. I have the ability of knowing in all confidence, I made the right decision.

Not only did I choose the right person to marry, but I made the right decision that fateful night of October 5, 2006, when I spotted her in a crowded room full of hundreds of people and decided to take a chance: I walked up to her and attempted to woo her with my interesting stories, my charming, yet off-beat personality, and my average looks.

It worked.

Now here we are in our mid-30s, having been married nearly a decade, and having produced two blue-eyed, Dutch-looking children despite our DNA.

So while I could easily write 841 words on the romantic aspects of how much I love my wife, I’m instead going to take a different direction. What about the non-romantic reasons I love her?

What about the reasons that would be symbolized not by a heart emoji, but instead, by a house or a stack of money, or by a clock or even a skull?

If for no other reason than to challenge myself as a writer, I now present to you 3 non-romantic reasons I love my wife.

  1. We make a good business team.

I feel like this isn’t emphasized when a couple becomes engaged, but marriage is a business, and it needs to be ran that way. The longer we are married, the better we become at running our family’s business.

During our first year of marriage, before kids, we were able to pay for my wife to go get her Master’s Degree, without going into further debt. That investment paid off, as my wife has since then, consistently made considerably more money than I have all these years. My wife also handles our family’s weekly budget.

On my end, I have been faithfully building my experience as a writer (thanks to this blog) since 2009, and as a YouTuber for the past 3 years. Now at present day, we are seeing the possibility that my “side hustles” (as a blogger, ghostwriter, SEO expert, social media influencer, and YouTuber) are starting to pay off. I actually speculate that by January 2019, our monthly mortgage payment will be covered from my YouTube earnings alone.

My wife is the detailed accountant and investor. I am the creative entrepreneur. Together, we run a family business.

            2. We make a good parenting team.

In the same way we are counterparts as co-business owners, we function the same way as parents. My wife is the nurturer, the schedule keeper, the travel planner, the head chef, and the laundry engineer.

Meanwhile, I am the disciplinarian, the head of communication, the chauffeur, the before-and-after school program director, and the “wake up at any hour of the night to get our daughter back to sleep” technician.

We are not great at doing each other’s roles. Instead, we embrace our individual parenting strengths as part of our own identities. We’ve got a good system. And we’ve got good kids.

Whereas I see marriage as a business, I see parenting as a talent management agency. We have two young recruits who we are responsible for molding into respectable and independent adults, preparing them for the real world.

        3. I want to be around her even during the predictable, seemingly uneventful, non-                          Facebook-status-worthy moments of life.

For me, it all comes back to the famous line in our wedding vows: for better or for worse.

Yeah, I’m totally cool with slowly aging alongside my wife for the next 40 years as we live happily ever after, until ultimately one of us finally dies first, leaving the other person with the insurance money- and unimaginable sadness.

But what about the in-between of better or worse? Not everyday can be a Michael Bublé song. Many days are more like Huey Lewis, when he sang, “Yes, it’s true, I’m so happy to be stuck with you.”

I love my wife for the moments in our life together that are just normal and forgettable; the B-roll footage that no one would care about watching if our lives were a reality TV show on TLC, called Our Crazy Vegetarian Life. Being grateful for your spouse through all the filler moments, which honestly, make up most of our time on this planet, is what real love is all about.

So maybe I’ve failed to hold true to the title of this article. Maybe there really is something romantic about building a life together, running it like a business, creating and raising mini-me’s, and choosing to love a person until the day you die, even if most of those days don’t have fireworks and champagne.

Maybe there’s something undeniably romantic about the unromantic parts of loving the person you married.

If so, consider me a hopeless romantic.

Photo credit: Mohamad Alaw.

About the Author:

I am an accidental stay-at-home vegan daddy blogger based in Spring Hill, Tennessee. I have no spare time, but by default, my hobbies include playing guitar, singing, songwriting, mountain biking, skateboarding, running, and going on road trips across America with my family in vehicles that Toyota and Lexus provide for free because it’s smart advertising for them.

Additionally, I enjoy making videos for both of my YouTube channels: Nick Shell, which is a mentorship program for younger men who are psychologically dealing with going bald, and Family Friendly Daddy Blog, which celebrates and explores ethnic diversity based on DNA test results.

5 Ways to Predict If You Will Go Bald and 5 Ways to Deal with It If You Do (The Nick Shell System)

If you’re a guy who’s starting to see possible signs of a receding hairline and you’re trying to figure out if you will indeed go bald, then you’ve come to the right place. I am a YouTuber with nearly 2500 subscribers and over 1500 videos devoted to the this topic. Hi, my name is Nick Shell.

While I’m not a professional or an expert on the topic, I have accidentally stumbled upon some findings, which I have turned into my own original theories. Based on my constant interactions with my subscribers, it appears my theories on predicting hair loss are accurate at least 80% of the time.

Some of the things you are about to read have not been published in print, until now. I call this The Nick Shell System. I am the owner, discoverer, and creator of these ideas. According to my theories, here are 5 ways to predict if you will go bald.

  1. Check for signs of balding or thinning. (Norwood 3 or beyond, or diffuse thinning.)

If you look at your hairline and it’s either straight across with some minor receding on your temples, which is classified as Norwood 1, or your hairline makes a “V” shape but there are 90 degree angles at the corners, which is classified as Norwood 2, then there is no need to fear yet. This is normal. As you progress into adulthood, it is expected for your hairline to naturally mature a little bit like this.

As long as you see no thinning spots, especially at the back of your head, then you are safe. Otherwise, this is considered “diffuse” thinning, and therefore overwrites the Norwood system; indicating you are indeed balding.

However, if your hairline makes an “M” shape, and the corners of your hairline are rounded off (which is classified as Norwood 3), then you officially have a receding hairline and have begun the first stage of the process of balding. It is common for some thinning to also accommodate the Norwood 3 stage.

2. Use a photo of yourself at age 1 to see a prediction of what your hairline will look like at age 35.

I discovered that a boy’s hairline when he is exactly a year old serves as a projection of his hairline and hair density when he becomes 35 years old. I figured this out, completely on my own, when I remembered that if you double a child’s height when they are 2 years old, it serves as a prediction of their height as a fully grown adult. My mother did this with both my sister and me; the results were 100% accurate. I did this with my own son, and it is predicted he will be one inch shorter than me.

Using this logic, I imagined there was likely a certain age of a boy where his hairline would be the same as when he becomes a mature adult. I knew this could not be based off of a newborn boy’s hair, because I know the first coat of hair falls out within the first couple weeks or so.

I found that age 1 was the more accurate stable predictor. From there, I settled on age 35 as the predicted future hairline because that happens to be the age in which men typically show more obvious signs of hair loss, or not.

By recording a video of myself at age 35 (which for me was last year) alongside a photo of myself at age 1, I demonstrate how my theory holds up.

3. Determine whether or not you could grow a full beard by the time you were age 18.

Another one of my findings from being a “Hair Loss YouTuber” is that typically, men who lose their hair sooner in adulthood were the same boys in high school who were hairy enough to grow a full connected beard before they graduated high school; like around age 16.

I define “full beard” by the fact if you didn’t shave for a day, then the next morning you had visible stubble all the way across your jaw line, chin, and above your upper lip.

If this was the case for you, it is more likely you will be at least Norwood 3 with some thinning by your 35th birthday; meaning you will likely lose most of your hair throughout the rest of your life. However, if you struggled to grow a full beard in high school, and envied the guys like me who could, chances are that you’ll keep your hair.

I discovered this concept after spending my first summer in Thailand back in 2003, when I couldn’t help but notice most middle-aged men still had all their hair, but struggled to grow even a mustache or goatee.

It’s in your DNA to either be balding and bearded, or to keep your hair but have minimal body hair.

And in case you’re interested in trying out some shampoo that contains argan oil for hair loss, here’s a link to Amazon.

argan-oil

4. Consider how close to age 35 you currently are.

As I’ve already mentioned, the exact age of 35 for a man is an important in predicting hair loss. Another finding I have realized is that most men who are Norwood 3 with thinning by the time they turn 35 years old are the ones who go on to continue losing their hair for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile, a man who still has the straight across hairline (Norwood 1) or the “V” shape (Norwood 2) and has no thinning, is most likely to keep most of his hair for most of his life.

This is another way to determine whether a man has either the “balding and bearded” genes, or the “full head of hair but struggled in his youth to grow a beard.”

5. Accept that your race and ethnicity increases or decreases your chance of balding.

Going back to how I noticed the concept of how the Thai men kept their hair but couldn’t grow beards, there is truth in that certain races are more prone to hair loss but less likely to grow thick body hair in their youth.

Based on hundreds of interactions with my YouTube subscribers, this seems to be how it works:

Balding and bearded: European, Jewish, Middle Eastern, Indian

In-between both categories: African

Full head of hair but struggle to grow body hair in their youth: Asian

My theory on this is the less Asian you are, the more likely you are to be in the “balding and bearded category.” So for example, a Mexican man is less likely to lose his hair by age 35 as compared to a Norwegian man, because Mexicans’ DNA consists of Aztec and/or Mayans, who were descendants of Asians.

This would be similar to a Filipino man, whose DNA is likely a mix of Asian and some European.

And if you’re interested in taking a DNA test like I did, here’s the link to MyHeritage.

Now that I’ve shared with you my 5 ways to predict hair loss, I want to close with 5 ways to deal with it if you fall into the “balding and bearded” category:

  1. Take a prescription drug to maintain the hair you still have.
  2. Get a hair transplant.
  3. Have tattoo-pigment done, in which the appearance of hair is tattooed on your scalp; given that you keep your hair extremely short.
  4. Try the “natural” approach by experimenting with applying essential oils like Rosemary and Argan Oil, become a vegan, exercise regularly, avoid stress, and stop smoking if you do; all of which may help slow down the balding process.
  5. Accept your fate and new identity as a confident and stylish “balding and bearded” man, by choosing to completely own the “shaved head” look, or at least a buzz cut- I recommend no longer than a #2 guard all over.Personally, I identify as a “balding advocate”, meaning that once I move beyond my current “Norwood 3 and thinning” stage around my 40th birthday in 3 and a half years, I plan to start shaving my head. I always expected to go bald; I just thought it would have already happened by now.

I definitely fall into all 5 of the categories of “balded and bearded”:

It was 6 and a half years ago on my 30th birthday that I first noticed my signs of balding, including thinning in the front and back of my head, in addition to the Norwood 3 hairline. My 1 year-old photo perfectly matched my hairline and density at age 35. I could grow a full beard 20 years ago, at age 16. I am already past age 35. And I while I do have 23% Mayan/Aztec DNA (according to my DNA test with MyHeritage), the majority of my DNA is German, Dutch, Sephardic Jewish, and Middle Eastern.

I am not ashamed to transition to my identity as “balding and bearded” in a few years. I think it will actually be pretty cool.

That’s it.

If you have found this article helpful, or at least intriguing, I invite you to check on my YouTube Channel on hair loss, simply titled, Nick Shell.

You can join a growing community of men who are learning to focus on what they can control and not on what they can’t; especially when it comes to hair loss.

Let’s continue the discussion there!

 

Dear Holly: Your Brother Feeds You Yogurt Better Than I Can

1 year, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

While I am extremely grateful we are past the days of preparing and cleaning bottles of milk for you, I will admit: It’s not one of my favorite things, to feed you yogurt.

At least twice a day, you’ll walk over to the fridge, pull on the door, and speak in your language what would translate as, “I want yogurt, Daddy.”

That’s when I respond with a face palm and, “Ah man, really?”

By the time I am finished feeding you, you have a fu manchu of Trader Joe’s yogurt, which seamlessly blends in to your runny nose.

You also love for me to prepare you organic instant oatmeal twice a day as well, to accompany your yogurt.

After I clean you up, the stains on both of our clothes consists of a mysterious mix of “Is it yogurt, mucus, or oatmeal?”

It makes me think of the DNA test I did this summer, but instead of ethnicity, we would be testing the stains on your clothes:

43% yogurt

27% oatmeal

10% mucus

Fortunately though, we stumbled into a wonderful discovery:

Not only does your brother love to feed you the yogurt, but he’s much better at it than I am. You respond better to him. You think it’s more fun to eat the yogurt when he feeds you.

And somehow, none of the yogurt seems to make its way to either of your clothes.

If it were up to me, I’d always have your brother feed you yogurt. He enjoys doing it, too.

It makes me wonder what else your brother could do more efficiently than me. I recognize the special relationship the two of you have- and I respect it.

So even though I didn’t immediately think it was a smart idea to let your brother feed you yogurt while wearing one of his brand-new shirts, the two of you quickly proved me wrong.

Love,

Daddy

 

 

Are American Restaurants Still Ignoring Vegans as Potential Customers? As a Millennial Vegan Daddy Blogger, I Say Yes.

Today I was contacted by a brand promoter for Applebee’s, who invited me to participate in their newest campaign, “There’s No Shame in Being a Meat and Potatoes Man.” I would have received a gift card for my family to dine at Applebee’s, as I promoted the following options for the modern Meat-and-Potatoes Dad:

Topped Steaks & Twisted Potatoes Line-Up:

  • 3 Steak Choices:  6 ounce USDA Choice Top Sirloin, 8 ounce USDA Choice Top Sirloin, 12 ounce USDA Choice Top Sirloin
  • 3 Steak Topper Choices:  Tavern Mushroom & Onion, Savory Herb & Butter Sauce, Creamy Horseradish & Gravy Topper
  • 3 Twisted Potato Side Choices (pick 1):  Twisted Tots, Loaded Potato Casserole Back, Loaded Garlic Mashed Potatoes
  • 1 Perfect Side: Fresh Broccoli

Hey, I would have appreciated the free meal for my family and would have had a lot of fun promoting Applebee’s here on my blog. One small problem, though…

I am a vegan and my wife and kids are vegetarians.

It’s not that big of a deal that I don’t eat meat. Not eating meat or animal products (for health reasons, not necessarily for animals’ rights), is becoming somewhat normal. In fact, this past summer Moe’s Southwest Grill actually hired me as a freelance writer to promote how vegan-friendly and vegetarian-friendly their menu is.

Some restaurants, like Moe’s Southwest Grill, are able to perceive a shift has occurred in the eating habits of health conscious Millennials, like myself, and how that has an effect on my family’s spending habits at restaurants.

When you Google “how much of the American population is vegan?”, one of the top answers that shows up is an article from onegreenplanet.org, which claims that there currently 6 million vegans in America!

And that in itself is a 6% increase since 2014, when only 1% of the American population identified as vegan. That’s a significant increase!

Isn’t 6% of the population significant enough that restaurants would at least try to cater to folks like us?
My guess is, apparently not. Apparently there are people who are better than I am at math (and who have done enough market research) and have decided that vegans aren’t worth the trouble to get in their restaurants; even though we currently account for 6% of the American population.
Imagine all that collective money that American restaurants aren’t making from families like mine. Oh well.
With that being said, here’s my casting call to any restaurants out there who would like a Millennial vegan daddy blogger with good SEO on his blog to promote the “vegan-friendly” aspect of their restaurant.
Any takers?

Dear Holly: Your 3 Day Long Virus with a 106 Degree Temperature

1 year, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

While getting tubes put in your ears a couple months ago definitely has helped prevent you getting more ear infections, it doesn’t prevent you from getting sick beyond that. So the weekend before last, you woke up in the middle of the night with a 106 degree temperature!

It definitely was scary for Mommy and me, but the nurse on the phone advised us to give you a bath to cool you down, along with pain reliever/fever reducer. When Mommy took you to the doctor the next morning, we learned that you simply had a virus that would end in 3 days; no prescription medicine would help cure it any faster.

Nonna and Papa were already planning on coming up to our house for most of the week because your brother’s school was on Fall Break. But because of your condition, they rushed up early by a few days to help take care of you; as Mommy and I still had to go to work.

You definitely needed extra cuddle time with Nonna as your body was fighting off the virus, and she was happy to oblige. And your naps were much longer as well; 3 hour naps compared to your usual 45 hour naps.

But as the doctor had predicted, your fever went away and your energy returned. The pictures starting streaming in from Nonna, as she sent them through Facebook Messenger.

I saw you playing with Papa and going on a stroller ride with Nonna.

You eventually even went to the park and wanted to go play in the creek with your brother. Too bad you didn’t have rain boots on!

We are so grateful that you are okay now and that Nonna and Papa were able to rush to the rescue! Thank God our little girl is okay.

Love,

Daddy