Two weeks ago, I released a new video on my YouTube channel which invited the free world to attempt to offend or insult me. I had theorized that since I don’t give other people authority over my emotions, it would be scientifically impossible to hurt my feelings.
Not only did I predict correctly, as indeed no one successfully emotionally attacked me, but hardly anyone even tried.
I did have one Internet troll ridiculously attempt to plant doubts in my mind that my wife might leave me for a younger guy, while implying that I was probably seeing other women (or men) on the side anyway.
But clearly, the comment instantly translated into comedy for me. So yeah… officially not offended.
So that got me thinking. Why is it that no one can offend me? Is it simply because I’m wired this way?
The answer is no. I wasn’t always this way. I became this way over the course of my life, as I made myself more and more familiar with what emotional intelligence is all about:
Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
Five years ago, or even two years ago, it was possible to attack my emotions. Not anymore; not after I simply recognized that I could be 100% in control of my emotions, instead of handing the keys over to people.
After receiving the clever suggestion from a friend to consider doing a video series on anti-bullying, I figured I would give it a shot.
I feel that what sets apart the theme of my anti-bullying series is that I am attempting to help the viewer focus on psychologically preventing the issues. So far, I have created over 10 videos, currently viewable on my YouTube Channel:
It’s Impossible to Offend Me
Being Offended Vs. Constant Mindset of Forgiveness
The “You Can’t Insult Me” Challenge
Psychologically Outsmarting Bullies
Find Your Allies
People Care about You
Do You Respect Those Who Insult You?
Are You a Victim or Victor?
I Know How You Feel
The Proximity Effect
You Too Can Choose Not to Be Offended
In my anti-bullying series, I challenge my viewers in many ways, in hopes they can ultimately outsmart potential bullies through strategy. To summarize it…
Realize that perceived bullies can’t force you to be offended; you have to allow them first. You have to respect their opinion for it to matter to you.
Be ready to openly acknowledge others’ perceived flaws in you, so that when they “attack”, you’re able to beat them to the punchline, surprising them with your lack of emotional response.
Find and create a network of people from the friendliest people from as many different cliques as you can; who will be there to socialize with and support you wherever you are.
I hope my series helps people. If nothing else, I hope I can remind you today that you too can choose to not be offended.
It is my passion to help the world realize the importance of choosing to live like victors, not victims; which is ultimately what emotional intelligence is all about.
Victors versus Victims
Victor: compliments others
Victim: criticizes others
Victor: embraces change
Victim: fears change
Victor: forgives others
Victim: holds grudges
Victor: always learning
Victim: thinks they know everything
Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures
Victim: blames others for their failures
Victor: has a sense of gratitude
Victim: has a sense of entitlement
Victor: sets goals and develops plans
Victim: never sets goals