Facebook Version: 18 Years Wedding Anniversary

I had just turned 18 years old when I graduated high school in May of 1999. I felt like an adult, because… I officially was. I felt “old enough” for my life to truly begin.

So today on my 18th wedding anniversary, I think, “Wow- I have been sharing my life everyday with the same person for as many years as I was alive when I graduated high school.”

In other words, today our marriage is officially an adult.

That’s funny… because I still barely feel, or act, like an adult myself! (I’m 45.)

Naturally, when people learn it’s your wedding anniversary, the common response is, “Oh, congratulations! That’s a big milestone.” Sometimes it is followed with a playful follow-up: “So what’s your secret?”

Well… I think I’ve got it figured out- from the husband’s point of view:

“Happy life… happy wife.”

Notice I didn’t say, “Happy wife, happy life.”

No, my secret is the opposite: “Happy life, happy wife.”

In other words, a man who is able to build and maintain his life in a way that he creates his own happiness through his own ambition and passion and curiosity, instead of putting that expectation on his wife (Example: “You complete me.”), is a man who provides the environment for his wife to therefore be happy. And perhaps even more important than being “happy”, she will feel safe and secure; as well as entertained and engaged.

A man’s life is not happy because he focuses on making his wife happy.

Instead, a man’s wife is happy because he focuses on making his own life happy; with her by his side, along for the adventure.

Now that I think of it… I’m basically the equivalent of a cruise ship director.

I would love to think of myself as the captain of the cruise ship, in this metaphor. But if I see life itself as a cruise, then I am not in control of where that ship is going- only God is.

The role of a cruise ship director, according to AI when I Google it, tells me that I am the senior ship officer responsible for all onboard entertainment, hospitality, and social programing: the public face of the ship.

Core responsibilities include event management, communication, leadership, and customer service: “acting as an information hub… ensuring a welcoming, lively atmosphere.”

Yep, that’s me. That’s what I do and who I am.

Happy life, happy wife!

That’s the secret, if you ask me.

 

Dear Jack: Making Fake Beer on the Cruise

15 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

You and your sister and your cousin Lucy found little ways to keep yourselves entertained in between the official activities on the cruise.

One morning during our daily powwow at Starbucks, I heard giggling behind me. I wasn’t even sure what I was taking pictures of, but I just kept snapping photos anyway.

Before too long, the three of you made your way over to Uncle Jason, so he could taste the “fake beer” you all created using what I believe was the remainder of your drinks, along with whatever packets you found there at the Starbucks counter, like sugar and honey.

By the look on Uncle Jason’s face when he tried the “fake beer”… it was not a refreshing delight.

Love,

Daddy

 

We Went on Norwegian Cruise Lines to Bermuda

Fun fact about my wife, in case you didn’t already know: She is #9 out of 10 kids in her family.

All having been born and raised near Sacramento, California, they are now mostly scattered across the country as adults; as far out as Alaska and Hawaii. Last year, the oldest of the siblings, John, announced that for his upcoming 60th birthday, he was inviting all his siblings and their families to join him on a Norwegian cruise from Boston to Nova Scotia to Bermuda, in celebration.

I had never been on a cruise before and certainly had some reservations, but I didn’t want to miss out on a family reunion. Not only did we sign up for the cruise, but we even asked John how he would feel if my parents also joined along. His response: “The more the merrier!”

My preconceived idea was that I was simply going along with this whole thing as a passive passenger; ultimately serving as nothing more than a guardian and chaperone for our kids, as my wife caught up with her side of the family.

Plot twist: By the 2nd day of the cruise I realized, “Oh, I love this so much I could live on a cruise ship for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy.”

It is such a unique experience to be 15 stories high in the middle of the ocean, with nothing but water on all sides as far as you can see in all directions. Being on an airplane can’t replicate that, nor can being at the beach.

I felt perfectly detached from all distractions and concerns of ordinary life. It was as if God was saying, “Here ya go… just enjoy this view and this time with your family.”

Each morning I would wake up a little before 6 AM and head over to the weight room at the gym for an hour, before making my way over to have breakfast; looking off the back of the ship. I loved starting off every day that way.

From there, I would meet up with the group so we could discuss which events were happening that day on the cruise, which included stand-up comedians, dualing pianists, dance shows, and musical groups including a live performance of the entire Fleetwood Mac Rumors album.

Plus, there were dance parties, crafts, trivia games… and even a “Mr. Sexy Legs” contest that I may or may not have entered…

And of course, yes, there were the times where we actually got off the ship. It marked the first time either of our kids officially left the United States: to both Nova Scotia, Canada as well as Bermuda.

I must mention the amazing customer service culture on our Norwegian cruise ship, The Breakaway. It is a noticeable part of what makes the cruise enjoyable and smooth. On the last day of the cruise, I actually hugged the guy who cleaned our cabin each day, Adi. He was so warm, kind, and helpful.

The most important part about our cruise was that it definitely served its ultimate purpose: to provide an exciting environment for the extended family to spend quality time together.

For me personally, it was a vacation that actually felt like a vacation. I never would have guessed that I’m a “cruise guy”… but I’m ready to go back!

Dear Jack: Pier Runners

15 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

With this being our first cruise, we had no concept of the phrase “pier runners” beforehand… that it is a current phenomenon and trend on social media.

For us, we were simlpy being curious… once we realized that on a cruise ship of 4,500 passengers, there was a decent chance that some of them would be rushing to the port at the last minute; since the cruise does not wait for anyone who is late.

I suggested we go to the balcony on the 8th floor, which would provide the best view. We certainly were not the only ones there for the show.

We cheered on the pier runners as they made it back with just minutes to spare!

I now realize that observing the pier runners is undeniably a fun and fundamental part of going on a cruise!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: How the Outside World Sees Us

10 years, 2 months.

Dear Holly,

Once our family cruise ended, we were in limbo for half a day, since it was too early to check in to our flights at the Boston airport.

So the solution was to hang out in the lobby of the hotel where Uncle Jason and Aunt Nicci were staying.

It’s all a blur. I know at some point, I fell asleep for a while.

Without me realizing it, Nonna happened to candidly snap a few photos of us hanging out. A few days later when she sent them to me, I thought the depiction of you and me was A) accurate and B) hilarious.

One of the ways I have always showed you affection in public is to pretend like I am squeezing you too hard and you play along like you are trying to escape.

That looks pretty funny out of context. Oh well. That’s just how we are with each other.

Love,

Daddy