I Own an Electric Lawnmower

By now, you have probably walked by the section of electric lawnmowers at Lowe’s and thought, “What kind of person would actually buy that?”

Yeah, it’s me.

For the first 8 years of our marrige, my wife and I lived in a townhome in Nashville; where there was no yard to mow. Then for the next 8 years, we had moved to the suburbs in a community where the HOA fee covered the landscaping; for our very small lawn.

But then when we moved here to Alabama nearly two years ago, we bought a house with a half acre-sized lawn. It marked the first time as a homeowner where I had a decent sized lawn that I was responsible for mowing.

I got a good deal on a used zero-turn radius mower to get me through last year. However, it was just too big and too much maintenance for me. So I sold it to my dad.

And now that I traded in my 2 door Jeep for a newer 4 door version, there’s less room in our garage anyway to store a big mower like that.

So I thought, why not just drop a few hundred dollars on an electric mower to experiment with this year?

The battery it came with lasts exactly one hour. So I proactively bought a second battery to ideally be able to mow the entire lawn all at once.

Before the grass really started growing in thick, I was able to mow the entire lawn in two hours flat. But now, it’s taking me closer to a solid 4 hours; meaning it is not possible to mow my lawn in one setting since the batteries only last 2 hours.

Pause.

I know. Wouldn’t it be easier just to hire someone to mow my lawn?

Obviously. But I’m way too stubborn and way too cheap.

There is also some fundamental psychological motivation in me to be able to overcome this challenge. To “win” against my own lawn.

But as of a couple of weeks ago on my 45th birthday, I came to a solution:

Every morning before work, I always take an hour long walk outside (about 10,000 steps) anyway. So now, I just designate an hour each morning before work to mow the lawn.

By the end of the summer, it will probably take me all 5 weekdays just to mow it.

Oh well, at least I look cool doing it… as evidenced by the photo my sister took of me at 7:20 AM on April 20th when it was 36 degrees outside.

As I was mowing the front yard, I saw her pulling in my driveway. Silly me- I thought she was stopping by to be the first person to tell me Happy Birthday.

Nope. She just took the photo and drove away. That’s pretty cool I guess.

Turning 45: Unserious Everything and Embrace Absurdity

Today is my 45th birthday. Something particularly interesting is that the Millennial generation begins with people born in 1981; which makes me the very oldest of the Millennials.

Recently I was watching a business video about different age demographics. The guy in the video casually pointed out, “Millennials are getting old.”

Oh… I’m “old” now? But… umm… I don’t act mature enough to be “old”.

Certainly, when people find out I am in my mid 40s (as of today, officially closer to 50 than I am 40 at this point), no one responds with, “Oh, well you’re still a baby!”… like the way they would do when I was still in my 30s.

And that’s okay. I’ve accepted my role as “the designated adult”, as occasion calls for it.

I feel like I am pretty good at just minding my own business. The problem is, theatrical situations always seem to find me.

Even just looking back these past few months…

By simply participating in the Christmas parade, I was unknowingly auditioning for the upcoming Children’s Advocacy Center Play.

By simply joining a group of friends to watch an amateur wrestling event, I found myself involved in a “confrontation” with one of the wrestlers.

By simply going on my morning run and mentioning to a friend that I was taking my daughter to the Easter Egg Hunt at the church, I ended up playing the Easter Bunny.

Maybe what I am trying to say is that the older I get, I am naturally accepting my role to “unserious everything” and embrace the absurdity.

I won’t settle for my life feeling like the movie Groundhog Day. I just have to go and make things weird.

This is 45.

 

 

 

 

How to Be “Seriously” Funny

One of the things that has been defining my 40s has been to dive deep into the psychology of what makes all of us tick, as individuals. I love being able to explore and sort out the chaos of how amazingly different we are fundamentally are and how we live our lives because of and in spite of those differences.

As a curious experient last Fall, I went around asking people who know me well a very simple question, “Am I funny?”

In my own perception of myself, I am “low key hilarious”…. obviously! But I learned that when people think of me, “funny” is not the first word that comes to mind for anyone. Instead, the word tends to be “intense” or something close to it; like passionate or even… dramatic.

So it would not be a surprise to share that my biggest learning curve in bringing my two characters to life in the DeKalb County Children’s Advocacy Center play has been to… take myself less seriously?

“Jukebox Diner” is the definitition of what a comedy is- ultimately to the point where literally every single line spoken is either a set-up for a punchline, or it is the punchline. And if you’re not constantly laughing, it’s simply because you missed the joke.

I spent my Christmas vacation learning all my lines before our first practice. In the process, I did research on the psychological motives of both characters I would be playing:

-An overeager romantic who is on the search for his 4th wife, having just finished a brief stint in prison.

-A grumpy old man who is well-informed of what’s going on in town, thanks to regularly monitoring everyone’s posts on “the Facebook”.

It was important to me that the audience saw depth and developed a sense of empathy for them. But that changed the more we practiced as a group at rehearsals.

And now that we are nearing the end of our 7 performances, I have now completely gone full “cartoon mode” as I portray these characters in front of the audience each night. This AI description of comedy helps to put into words what I have learned over the past 2 months:

To understand the essence of comedy through absurdity, consider these key points…

  1. Exaggeration: Amplify ordinary situations to ridiculous extremes.
  2. Illogical Scenarios: Present scenarios that defy common sense or reality.
  3. Unexpected Twists: Introduce surprising outcomes that challenge expectations.
  4. Character Absurdity: Create characters with exaggerated traits or behaviors.
  5. Satire: Use absurdity to critique societal norms or behaviors humorously.
  6. Physical Comedy: Employ slapstick elements that highlight the absurdity of actions.

I tell myself backstage before each show begins: “You’ve got one job. Make people laugh.”

So the irony is not lost on me: By default, I am not seen as a “funny” person. It’s as if I see comedy through the lens of a person looking in from the outside.

Each night on stage, when I experiment by taking a slightly longer dramatic pause for the joke to land better, or when I experiment by ad-libbing a few more words to amplify the actual scripted line I am about to deliver, what I am actually doing is improving the comedy experience for the audience through analytics and logic.

That is a fascinating discovery: I have the skill of making people laugh, without necessarily being a naturally funny person.

Instead, I simply pour all of my intensity into comedy. And it works.

Dear Jack: Being the Official Entertainment of Sleepovers

14 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

You have made it clear that I have a reputation, as a dad, of being extremely strict when it comes to bedtime routine at our house. (That’s something I am very proud of!)

I’m all about having fun and experiencing adventure during daylight hours, but once the sun starts going down… it’s time to settle down.

But, hey… when I’m not there with you, I don’t care what time you go to sleep or how rowdy you get! Not my problem.

And that is exactly how I felt as Nonna sent me photos of you, your sister, and your cousin at their house while Mommy and I went away for a weekend trip a couple of weeks ago.

I was happy for all of you! You definitely served as the entertainment, making the sleepover even more exciting for your sister and cousin.

So much for setting down that night.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: The Truck in Our Backyard

14 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

As we currently have a construction crew at our house to build our new sunroom, Mommy noticed that the crew left one of their trucks in our backyard at the end of the day.

I didn’t think anything of it when she sort of half-jokingly asked me, “Hey, will you go out there to that truck to make sure nobody died out there in it?”

A few minutes later, I casually reported back to her: “I can confirm there are no dead bodies in the truck in our backyard.”

From there, she and I went out on our daily post-dinner walk in the neighborhood. It was during that time that your sister asked you if there really was a dead body out in the truck in the backyard, based on what she overheard Mommy and I saying about it.

You didn’t think your sister would believe you, but she did… when you jokingly told her that there really was a dead body out there.

She immediately reached out to cousin Darla to announce the news both in text and voicemail: “So yeah… there is literally a dead body in the truck in our yard.”

A few hours later, I finally happened to check my phone; realizing that Aunt Dana was trying to figure out the details of the supposed murder mystery that had occurred just down the street at her brother’s house.

For the record…

Yes, the workers left behind their truck in our yard overnight.

No, there were no workers left behind in that truck.

Love,

Daddy