Dear Jack: Your Request for “Direct Deposit” Whipped Cream

9 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

As Mommy was setting up everyone’s plates for the special strawberry shortcake she surprised us with over the weekend, the only thing you were interested in was the can of whipped cream.

You asked Mommy, “Can you just spray the whipped cream right in my mouth?”

To my surprise, she did.

You were very pleased.

The funny thing is, I’m not convinced you actually ate the actual dessert.

Where as your sister copied you, to get the “direct deposit” whipped cream, she definitely ate the strawberry cake too.

I thought the concept of a drive-thru window was lazy, but this takes it to a whole different level!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: That Sauce That Doesn’t Make My Mouth Hurt

3 years, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

As you are now approaching your 4th birthday, your eating habits are transitioning into “real meals”, as opposed to just a series of fruit pouches and different versions of mac and cheese.

You pretty much daily eat baby carrots and chicken. Last week, you requested to me, “Daddy, I want that sauce that doesn’t make my mouth hurt.”

Through a little bit of deductive reasoning, I figured out you were asking for Ranch dressing to dip your carrots and chicken in.

To a 3 year-old, that’s the best way to request Ranch dressing; to disassociate it from Daddy’s hot sauce you see me eating with every meal.

Granted, you’ve never had any of my hot sauce, but you want to make sure you don’t!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Teaching Your Sister to Sword Fight, Who is Half Your Size and a Third of Your Age

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

A few weeks ago, you spent your allowance money on some swords and shields at the Dollar Store.

Well, this past weekend, your 3 year-old sister was as eager as you were to practice sword fighting with you.

So the living room become the arena, where a brave little girl who is half your size and a third of your age showed no fear as she begin sword fighting her brother.

You were wearing a dragon mask; meaning that your sister was fighting the dragon!

To her, this is simply normal. So I guess your allowance money is well spend that week!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: These are the Years I Can’t Take a Normal Photo of You

8 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

I’m learning just to go ahead and take the silliest photos of you these days, because that’s about I can get. You don’t want to go through the hassle of smiling for pictures, but you will make a goofy face and pose in some ridiculous way.

So I’m just going with it.

I realize that these hilarious photos are the truest concept of your personality: When you already having fun, you don’t want to stop to be serious.

You just want to keep having fun.

I can work with that… assuming every once in a while I can get a real smile!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: For Crazy Hair Day, You Chose to Be Green!

8 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

This past Tuesday, your class got to celebrate filling the jar with marbles, for good class behavior, by having Crazy Hair Day!

So before we left for school, I took you out to the garage and basically spray paint all your hair.

At first, I only sprayed the top, but you insisted I spray all of your hair, including all the back.

Looking back on these pictures though, I should have used the entire can; as there was still some sandy brown showing through.

Needless to say, you had a really fun day. And I’m fairly confident you’re going to be asking me to have green hair again!

Love,

Daddy