Nick Shell’s Self-Help Therapy Guide to 2017 New Year’s Resolutions: 7 Traits of Choosing to Be Victorious Versus Allowing the Default of Being a Victim

For most of my life, I’ve looked back on the previous year thinking, “Man, I was immature back then. I’ve learned a lot in the past year. If only I could go back and live it again knowing what I know now…”

With that being said, I feel that now at age 35, I have created a plan to keep from feeling that way. During the past year, I have formulated and applied my own self-help therapy guide consisting of 7 comparisons of someone who chooses to be victorious, as opposed to allowed the default of the victim mentality.

I believe these have everything to do with whether a person finds success living by their New Year’s Resolutions.

By consciously living by these principles on minute-by-minute basis, I feel like I am really in control of my life. I am simply more independent in my thinking; serving as my own therapist.

These 7 principles are the epitome of the concept: Focus on what you can control, not on what you cannot.

Victors versus Victims

1.       Victor: compliments others vs. Victim: criticizes others

2.       Victor: embraces change vs. Victim: fears change

3.       Victor: forgives other vs. Victim: holds grudges

4.       Victor: always learning vs. Victim: thinks they know everything

5.       Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures vs. Victim: blames others for their failures

6.       Victor: has a sense of gratitude vs. Victim: has a sense of entitlement

7.       Victor: sets goals and develops plans vs. Victim: never sets goals

After applying my “choose your mindset” theory for the past year, I felt a sense of graduation of my program when I was able to successfully upload a video on my YouTube channel entitled (can’t offend me).

In other words, I made a public social experiment out of myself by proving that if I simply made the decision that for the rest of my life, I would no longer grant anyone the authority to offend me (or “hurt my feelings”)… for any reason, by any person.

Through personal application of these concept, I fully realized that if I choose it, only I truly have the authority to grant others to offend me. But without my permission being granted, other people have no power of my emotions.

I alone control my emotions; my emotions do not control me.

What it all comes down to is something called emotional intelligence.

It only makes sense that a person who is constantly offended is allowing themselves to be the victim by default. Therefore, it only makes sense that a person who never seems to be offended is therefore making a conscious decision to be victorious.

I am so grateful for the benefits of living my life this way. I have never before felt so in control over my own life, despite the things I truly have no control over.

Feel free to ask me any questions about my “7 Traits” if you are interested in trying it out for yourself.

Nick Shell’s Self-Help Therapy Guide to 2017 New Year’s Resolutions: 7 Traits of Choosing to Be Victorious Versus Allowing the Default of Being a Victim

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

6 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

Dear Jack,

Our Weekend of Manliness! concluded as we left Monster Jam and made our way towards The Mall at Green Hills; a place you had never been to before.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

On the way there though, we made a quick stop to Army & Navy War Surplus; as I am currently interested in replacing my current overnight backpack with a military version; since we travel to California at least once a year and I want something more durable as a carry-on.

Thanks to one of your aunts giving you Regal Cinemas gift cards for Christmas, everything was free!

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

The time had finally come… the time for us to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. I had only heard great things about it. Nothing prepared me for how amazing of a movie it is!

Just about 20 minutes into it, I was already ready to see it a 2nd time!

It made me so proud to be able to take you to see it. The Star Wars franchise is such an undeniable part of American boyhood. I feel it’s a responsibility as your dad to introduce you to all thing Star Wars.

What a convenient decade for you to be a boy! At 6 years old, you are old enough to be able to appreciate these new Star Wars movies. Your 1st introduction was a year ago, when I took you to see The Force Awakens.

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

And as much as I loved that one, this new one is even better. Ah, what an amazing, must-see movie!

After the final credits rolled, I looked over to you and asked, “Well, how many of your Sour Punch Rainbow Straws did you eat?” I always assuming you took care of at least half the package.

You explained, “Just four; one of every flavor.” Apparently your agenda is to savor the rest over the next couple of weeks, as Mommy and I rarely let you eat candy. It’s such a commodity to you.

At that point though, it was time for us to find some dinner- as it was nearly 7 PM. Earlier in the week, I had proactively reached out to a really nice restaurant there at The Mall at Green Hills called Table 3. I offered to feature them on my blog in an exchange for a free meal for us.

I never heard back from them. I take that to mean they’re doing well without any additional positive publicity. Oh well, it was worth a shot. Never hurts to ask. The law of averages, you know…

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

So instead, we landed at Noodles & Company, and boy am I glad we did. We were so pleased with their selections!

They very easily catered to our manly dietary restrictions; with you being a vegetarian and me being a vegan. You got their kids’ meal: Mac and Cheese, Go Go Squeeze, and a fun Rice Krispie Treat. Granted, I made you eat some of my broccoli from my Thai Curry Bowl with tofu.

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

It was the perfect ending to our Weekend of Manliness! Unsurprisingly, after such a busy day, you quickly fell asleep in the back seat.

And, I’m already planning our next Weekend of Manliness! for just a few weeks from now…

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Rogue One Star Wars (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 3/3) *No Spoilers*

Weekend of Manliness! January 2017 Series:

1st Snow of 2017

Monster Jam 2017

Rogue One Star Wars

Dear Jack: Monster Jam 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 2/3)

6 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: Monster Jam 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 2/3)

Dear Jack,

The next stop of our Weekend of Manliness! was Monster Jam in downtown Nashville. We loaded up in my salty and dusty 2004 Honda Element (which doesn’t even have cruise control) and made our way through 40 miles of country roads and interstate to the Bridgestone Arena.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

We thoroughly enjoyed seeing Monster Jam this past summer at Nissan Stadium when Papa was in town. Fortunately, we got to see those monster trucks just 6 months later- this time along with their dune buggy and ATV counterparts!

I have to say; there is definitely something therapeutic about two guys- a father and son– sitting up in the nosebleeds watching beastly trucks fly into the air. It was like we were sitting on top of the world, watching the monster trucks race around the truck, secretly hoping to see them roll over- especially if it wasn’t one of our favorites, like Zombie or Gravedigger.

Dear Jack: Monster Jam 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 2/3)

During the show, we didn’t have much to say to each other… we didn’t need to. For us, watching the monster trucks at Monster Jam, over these past 3 years I’ve been taking you to Monster Jam, has become like seeing art.

We soak it in. We appreciate it. We become one with the monster truck experience.

As I expected, the moment we got home that day, you immediately ran upstairs and got your toy monster trucks. All your indoor playtime then revolved around monster truck competitions: The twist was that your toy dinosaurs got involved and caused some additional chaos.

Dear Jack: Monster Jam 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 2/3)

It’s a given: Boys like monster trucks.

Therefore, it was very important for us to attend Monster Jam as part of our Weekend of Manliness! I was so proud to share that experience with you.

Granted, that wasn’t our last stop on our Weekend of Manliness! tour. After Monster Jam, we made our way to the Green Hills Mall to see what we already knew would be an amazing movie: Rogue One!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Monster Jam 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 2/3)

Weekend of Manliness! January 2017 Series:

1st Snow of 2017

Monster Jam 2017

Rogue One Star Wars

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

6 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Dear Jack,

Our Weekend of Manliness! began Friday evening when I got home from work and there was enough snow for us to try out the old sled Nonna gave us when we were in Alabama for Christmas. Fortunately, we happen to live in a great neighborhood for sledding in the snow.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

After all, we do live in Spring Hill, Tennessee. And our town lives up to the name. Not only are there plenty of hills all around, but apparently there are also plenty of springs as well- because it was no challenge finding new places to explore frozen puddles.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

The next morning, on Saturday, I explained to you: “Jack, this is your day. We’ll be going to the monster truck show and the new Star Wars movie later, but what else do you want to do today?”

You instantly responded: “I want to go back in the snow!”

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

So we did. Even though I told you we’d only be out there no more than 30 minutes, we ended up staying out there an hour and 15 minutes. And it was awesome!

Fortunately, the sun start coming out to help our endurance.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

In addition to getting to sled down every hill we found in our neighborhood, you also made it your personal mission to attempt to crack all the ice you could by jumping on it- and then eventually, by having me throw heavy stones on the ice.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Because it was so cold, and because I made sure all the frozen water we walked on was no deeper than 6 inches deep, the ice was extremely thick- and therefore, quite challenging to burst through.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Undeniably, our Weekend of Manliness! was off to a great start. Our snow and ice adventures couldn’t have been appreciated by the likes of Mommy, who isn’t used to the cold since she’s from California- or by your 8 month-old sister, who is constantly catching and fighting sicknesses as she is naturally building up her immune system.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

No, this was clearly a job for the boys.

Had I realized a month ago what all would have occurred, I would have reached out to Toyota or Lexus and got us a vehicle to feature each part of Weekend of Manliness! But I didn’t know the awesome baby blizzard was coming, that we would see Rogue One, or that we’d be going to Monster Jam until it was too late to get us a manly and adventurous Toyota or Lexus to match the energy of the father and son duo.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

So instead, we settled for my 2004 Honda Element, which I’ve officially owned 11 years as of this month; and have had paid off for 10 years.

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Now it was time to make the 40 mile drive to downtown Nashville for Monster Jam…

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: 1st Snow of 2017 (Weekend of Manliness! in a 2004 Honda Element, Part 1/3)

Weekend of Manliness! January 2017 Series:

1st Snow of 2017

Monster Jam 2017

Rogue One Star Wars

Dear Holly: In Sickness and in Health

8 months.

Dear Holly: In Sickness and in Health

Dear Holly,

I have to accept that you’re simply in that stage of life right now where you’re ultimately building immunity to sicknesses- in other words, you’re getting sick a lot these days.

Really though, I’d prefer for you to just to get it all out of the way now, while you’re still a baby.

As a parent, this is one of the most anxious stages of raising a child. Since Mommy and I both work full time, there are only so many sick days and vacation days we can take turns using to stay home with you when you can’t go to daycare.

Mommy and I both worked the New Year’s Holiday this year, while Nonna and Papa watched you, so we can help rebuild our dwindling pool of sick and vacation days.

Of course, there’s obviously some irony in there. We work so hard to provide for you, yet we have to keep you in daycare- but then when you get sick, we actually get to spend all day with you, not working- while we care for you in your sickness.

I have this theory that because it’s been such a warm winter so far, that it creates an environment for sickness to abound. So maybe I welcome the cold, the ice, the snow.

The sad thing is I can’t remember the last time you weren’t either sick, recovering from being sick, or about to get sick again. In the midst of adding new viruses and illnesses to your collection, it’s as if you don’t know what it’s like to be normal… to not be sick.

Yet still, you are the same smiley little baby girl- who, might I add, is really enjoying crawling these days. It’s like you’re a cute little puppy who follows us around.

Love,

Daddy