Nick Shell’s Self-Help Therapy Guide to 2017 New Year’s Resolutions: 7 Traits of Choosing to Be Victorious Versus Allowing the Default of Being a Victim

For most of my life, I’ve looked back on the previous year thinking, “Man, I was immature back then. I’ve learned a lot in the past year. If only I could go back and live it again knowing what I know now…”

With that being said, I feel that now at age 35, I have created a plan to keep from feeling that way. During the past year, I have formulated and applied my own self-help therapy guide consisting of 7 comparisons of someone who chooses to be victorious, as opposed to allowed the default of the victim mentality.

I believe these have everything to do with whether a person finds success living by their New Year’s Resolutions.

By consciously living by these principles on minute-by-minute basis, I feel like I am really in control of my life. I am simply more independent in my thinking; serving as my own therapist.

These 7 principles are the epitome of the concept: Focus on what you can control, not on what you cannot.

Victors versus Victims

1.       Victor: compliments others vs. Victim: criticizes others

2.       Victor: embraces change vs. Victim: fears change

3.       Victor: forgives other vs. Victim: holds grudges

4.       Victor: always learning vs. Victim: thinks they know everything

5.       Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures vs. Victim: blames others for their failures

6.       Victor: has a sense of gratitude vs. Victim: has a sense of entitlement

7.       Victor: sets goals and develops plans vs. Victim: never sets goals

After applying my “choose your mindset” theory for the past year, I felt a sense of graduation of my program when I was able to successfully upload a video on my YouTube channel entitled (can’t offend me).

In other words, I made a public social experiment out of myself by proving that if I simply made the decision that for the rest of my life, I would no longer grant anyone the authority to offend me (or “hurt my feelings”)… for any reason, by any person.

Through personal application of these concept, I fully realized that if I choose it, only I truly have the authority to grant others to offend me. But without my permission being granted, other people have no power of my emotions.

I alone control my emotions; my emotions do not control me.

What it all comes down to is something called emotional intelligence.

It only makes sense that a person who is constantly offended is allowing themselves to be the victim by default. Therefore, it only makes sense that a person who never seems to be offended is therefore making a conscious decision to be victorious.

I am so grateful for the benefits of living my life this way. I have never before felt so in control over my own life, despite the things I truly have no control over.

Feel free to ask me any questions about my “7 Traits” if you are interested in trying it out for yourself.

Nick Shell’s Self-Help Therapy Guide to 2017 New Year’s Resolutions: 7 Traits of Choosing to Be Victorious Versus Allowing the Default of Being a Victim

The Euphoric Therapy of iTunes: Listening to Music is Like Traveling Back in Time


The only thing I really buy for myself that is not a basic need, is music.  My CD collection now contains well over 700 albums, not including the several hundreds of songs I’ve “traded” with friends via laptop swap or the “borrowing and burning” of each other’s CD collections.   The one material thing that I actually spend money on (though I often buy at a much discounted price at Unclaimed Baggage) is music.

My stereo speakers are never silent as long as I’m the only one in the car.  There are times when I actually get tired of my own massive music library, but even then, I turn the radio to a classic rock station (“I want to know what love is, I need you to show me…”) or an alternative station where I get introduced to current bands like The Avett Brothers (“In January, we’re getting married…”).


Music is therapy.  It’s invisible.  But music has a way of ministering to the soul and to the emotions.  It enhances the mood and the moment.  Music makes sad times sadder and good times greater.  And when I don’t know how I feel, I listen to the abstract vagueness of ‘90’s alternative bands like Stone Temple Pilots, Live, and Foo Fighters.

Music is euphoric. It’s not tangible.  But music has a way of lifting a person’s spirits or helping them to connect and relate to the pain they are feeling at the moment.

Music is a drug. Teenagers use it to “express themselves” (or the idea of who they think they want to be) and to get in touch with their out of control emotions.  Adults use it to relax, to escape, to take a trip to an easier time in their lives.  And yes, music is an addictive drug.

I can not hear Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” and not be affected.  Or Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”.  Or my newest obsession, the Scottish one-hit wonder from 1983, “In a Big Country” by Big Country, with its piercing lead guitar riffs reminiscent of a bagpipe:  “In a big country dreams stay with you like a lover’s voice…”

Music is engrained into our pop culture.  It freezes a year, a moment, a memory forever.  Listening to a song can be like time travel.  It stays with us.

And it’s amazing to me how music can make nonsense words and phrases acceptable by the mainstream.  Because seriously, everybody should wang chang tonight.

I can’t imagine a world where the words “I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller” meant nothing to me.