Dear Jack: Rebuilding Your Bike from Your Sister’s Old One?

12 years, 5 months. 

Dear Jack,

Again I will say it: You are clearly an Enneagram 5. It’s so obvious to me now.

What truly makes you happy is to have hours to yourself, to work on a complicated, innovative, creative project.

The birthday gift your sister received from Nonna and Papa was a new bike.

I don’t recall you asking permission to do so, but you took it upon yourself to “scrap her old bike for parts” to “modify” your own bike.

Granted, your newly rebuilt bike sure isn’t pretty, but you definitely are proud of your newest creation… a stunt bike?

And your friends are impressed, too!



Dear Jack: The Power Sander You Invented for Rebuilding Hot Wheels

12 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Friday night, Mommy went to Nashville with her friend Cheryl to see Lady A in concert. That meant that it was just you, me, and your sister.

After dinner, while I was getting your sister ready for bed, I didn’t see you or hear you around anywhere. I just assummed you where outisde in the cul-de-sac playing with the neighbors.

At 7:55 PM, I opened up the door leading to the garage and found you working on your cars:

Disassembling them to rebuild them.

“Look, Daddy, I built a power sander!” You showed me how you took a pencil and attached it to your power drill, using the eraser side to sand the new paint job you gave your Hot Wheels.

In the course of me writing my Enneagram book this year, I finally came to the realization you are truly an Enneagram 5 with a 4 wing:

The wacky inventor! 




Dear Holly: The Car You Created from a Box

6 years, 11 months.

Dear Holly,

This past week we ordered an indoor grill. It made me realize, “I still have a child who is young enough to appreciate playing with a box.”

Without ever making an announcement nor asking anyone’s permission, you took it upon yourself to turn that shipping box into a car. I noticed it had three pedals on the floor, implying it’s a manual transmission like my Jeep.

You also proudly brought to my attention that on the inside of the car door, you drew a stethoscope; which I suppose was intended to be a more grandiose first aid kit than the one in my Jeep I keep with me.

It was a very relevant choice for you to build your car from the box.

Even now as I type this, you are sitting down in your box playing, while Mommy drinks her coffee on Sunday afternoon after church.




Dear Holly: I Bought a Mystery Machine T-Shirt Because of You!

6 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

I happened to randomly take you to Kohl’s to help me shop for some cool new t-shirts for the new year. I chose one with Bob Dylan, to which you commented, “He looks a little bit bumpy.” I didn’t even bother with a follow-up question, as somehow, I think I knew what you meant.

You then saw one featuring The Mystery Machine, along with that famous group of crime-solving teens and their mostly English-speaking Great Dane.

Later than day, due to your brother wanting to binge-watch Young Sheldon, our household ended up getting HBO Max. As I apathetically scrolled through the offerings of the streaming channel, I noticed Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! was included in our subscription.

It didn’t take long before you and I started binging the TV show, based on the t-shirt you chose for me at Kohl’s.

Your immediate observation after the first episode was this: “Daddy, Shaggy is the most scared out of everyone, but he still tries to have fun.”

Yes, as a 6 year-old, you accurately described what it means to be an Enneagram 6 with a dominant 7 wing; which happens to be my Enneagram type, as well.

All because you picked out that t-shirt for my to buy at Kohl’s!



Dear Holly: “All I Care About is Peace and Quiet…”

6 years, 9 months.

Dear Holly,

This past weekend, Mommy and I had our annual “Night Out in Nashville/Get Our Taxes Done the Next Day at H&R Block” event, while Nonna and Papa drove up from Alabama to stay home with you and your brother.

Mommy and I went to go see Adam Sandler perform at the Bridgesone Arena. It was one of the best days I have ever spent with Mommy in the fifteen years we have been together. I am so grateful that we were able to go do that.

Nonna always does a great job of proactively sending Mommy and me photos of what’s going on while we’re away.

My favorite picture of you was of you with the “Daddy puppet” you made at church last Father’s Day.

The caption read, “All I care about is peace and quiet.”

Of course, that was you doing your impression of me.

I feel honored that you represented me so well!

It has been no secret in our family, that since becoming a certified Enneagram coach back in November 2021, I have been on an ongoing adventure of self-discovery, as well as helping us learn more about each other.

Something I pray every morning is, “Help our family to find ways to show each other love, in the ways that we invididually need it.”

You have overhead me talk about it enough, that you know that I am an Enneagram 6; and that specifically, I constantly crave a sense of social security- which for me, is presented in the form of the people around me having fun in a calm and collaborative way.

This past week, you and your brother also brought more insight to me that I had never realized on my own:

“Mommy gets mad when her work is stressful. But you never get mad at work; no matter how crazy things get. Instead, you get mad when people around you are upset and not happy.”

This is 100% accurate. Being an Enneagram 6, I am the problem-solver, the trouble-shooter, and the stabilizer.

Work only stresses me out when there’s not enough problems for me to solve, because I am wired to provide solutions and calmness to the everyday chaos I am presented with. I truly enjoy what I do for a living.

However, it’s when I’m not working that I am most likely to get stressed out; as I am the one in our family who is constantly trying to make everyone feel happy and connected with each other.

I learn so much from you about myself! Thank you, Holly.