Dear Jack: You are Now “Rebuilding” Hot Wheels… for Fun!

12 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

This past Christmas, you were obsessed with doing model cars. That has now transcended into you taking apart your old Hot Wheels cars, swapping their wheels, and completely repainting both the exterior, as well as the interior.

Just like with all your pursuits of the years, like last year’s Taekwondo, and archery the year before, Mommy and I are all in to help support your newest interest and hobby.

This past weekend, I bought you several cans of spray paint, and Mommy bought you a certain drill you need to be able to take the cars apart much easier.

You are a true Enneagram 4. You are so creative.

Mommy and I finally realized this week, that when you get “too much extra energy”, it’s not necessarily because you need to go outside.

Instead, it’s often because you need a creative activity to work on indoors.

I’m sure I’ll bring it up again later once we finish it, but I bought your sister a Star Wars puzzle this week for she and I work on. So far, you have accomplished more of putting the puzzle together, than your sister and me combined.

I love to see your creativity in action!




Dear Jack: Your New Pottery Wheel Studio

12 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

This year for Christmas, you received very few toys. Instead, it was all about arts and crafts.

You have always loved creative activities, but this only become more obvious since having Art as an elective class for 6th grade this year.

With my “office” being our kitchen table, I always get a front-row seat for whatever project you are currently working on.

This morning, you unboxed and quickly taught yourself how to use your new Pottery Wheel Studio that Mommy and I got you for Christmas.

Last night, I sat down with you and went through my newest Enneagram book.

It’s official: You’re Enneagram 4- the creative personality.

That’s no surprise to me!



Dear Jack: You Know How to Identify an Enneagram 4… Blue Hair!

12 years old.

Dear Jack,

While hanging out at Aunt Dana’s house for a couple of days during Thanksgiving Break, she sent me a photo of you making a silly face (the norm these days anytime someone takes a picture of you) and holding a boy doll with blue hair, wearing some unique clothing.

You explained to Aunt Dana that the Enneagram number of this doll would an Enneagram 4, because, “Yep, pretty much anytime someone has crazy colored hair, my dad says they are a 4”.

Very well done. You have definitely been paying attention. It was a year ago that I got my Enneagram Certification, so by default, you hear my assessing of people’s Enneagrams all the time.

You know that Enneagram 4s like to stand out in some way. Blue hair is definitely a way to do that!




“These are the Good Ole Days” – Song 9 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 9th song is one of several that could easily pass as a song written by an Enneagram 4, at first glance.

It feels sad. It is yearning for the past. It is a very entimental song, written from a realist perspective; where I am clearly plugged in to the full scope of my emotions.

But I would say it is a glimpse at the healthy part of my Enneagram 7 wing; where I am able to accept the randomness of life for what it is. I would say that there is a certain balance I showcase in the lyrics:

My life is half way over – My life has never been more in focus – No time machine to take us all back – What’s happened is stuck in the past – These are the good ole days – We’re still living in them – I won’t always be here – You won’t always be here – So shake a hand, shake a leg, soon we’ll all be dead – Don’t want to die, so I’ll try to live while I’m alive – This is it – These are the good ole days – You learn to take the good with the bad things – Life is both a comedy and a tragedy – No way to fast-forward or rewind -Just try to catch up if you get behind

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see my Enneagram 7 wing? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:


Dear Jack: You are One Talented Kid! (And an Enneagram 4)

11 years old.

Dear Jack,

It’s not lost on me that you are incredibly smart, as well as talented. You’re the kind of person who is able to turn any project into gold.

Whether its your dedication to Taekwando, or you running and being voted as the Student Council Representative last year, or your ability to barely study yet still get straight A’s.

Selfishly, I’ll admit. That’s one less thing I have to worry about as a parent- knowing that you are an incredibly productive, and creative, person. I don’t have to motivate you- you’re already motivated!

I understand that there’s balance in everything. That especially right now as you are in your pre-teen years, one of the things I need to help you focus on is managing your emotions.

Fortunately, I enrolled this week to begin my training to become a certified Enneagram coach. Or as I like to call it- a cheaper version of a therapist!

I figure… everybody can use a little bit of therapy. I’m already learning how to be a better parent though what I’ve learned about your personality: An Enneagram 4- The Invidualist.

The Sensitive, Introspective Type:
Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

  • Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
  • Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an