2022 in Review: The Lyrics to the 12 Songs I Wrote This Year

Over the course of this year, I wrote a total of 12 songs that I published on my YouTube channel. Not only is this the ideal number of songs, in my mind, for a complete album, but it also serves as a good representation of the year itself for me.

The lyrics I write for my songs are extremely important. I am always interested in realizing what I discover about myself, through the process of extracting each new song inside of me.

So I figured it would be an interesting idea to look back on the 12 songs I have written in 2022, so that we can see what my most recent year of self-discovery has taught me.

I didn’t record any songs during the first half of 2022, as I was diving deep into understanding my true Enneagram type. Once I finally figured out I am a Counterphobic 6 Wing 7, the song material easily presented itself.

In case you’re not familiar with the Enneagram personality types, I am a Type 6; which is focused on finding security through other people and by facing my fears. I invite you to search for these themes here in my songs.

Below are the lyrics to all 12 songs (the chorus is in bold font) along with the video of me performing each song:

1- “I Was Here”

I remember walking in the woods when I was young – I saw a tree, I took out a knife, and there I carved these words: “I was here” – I was here – Now I am a grown man, that was a lifetime time ago – But I’m still looking for a way to say that same phrase: “I was here” – I was here – I always need to feel something like I’m here with you now – Not gonna live like I’m lost when I know that I’m found – I am more than aware: “Life is short, make it count” – I’ll leave my mark on this word before I get out – So I can feel like I was here – So I can feel like I was here – I could have been born any year in any other place – I could have spoken a different language, completely difference face – But I am here, I am here – We so could have easily have never known each other – If I had a different father or a different mother – But I am here, I am here – I don’t need to take up much space – No, this won’t take too long – What I’ve learned in 41 years: “Be brief, be brilliant, be gone”

2 – “Ship’s Goin’ Down”

Ship’s goin’ down, I’m sinking with it – I’ll be underwater in under a minute – And I see no signs of a rescue – Make no mistake, I was more than committed – Had a chance to escape – And when I could, I didn’t – But I still don’t feel like a dumb fool – Ship’s goin’ down, I’m sinking with it – Ship’s goin’ down, I’m sinking with it – Waves crashed up over the deck but I showed no signs of fear – While everyone else was a wreck, my anxiety cleared – Warning signs were there all along but I didn’t mind being wrong – If anyone could overcome the sea, I knew it had to be me

3 – “The Overthinker”

I am the overthinker – A skeptic and a believer – Sometimes, an in-betweener – I am the overthinker – Hold on, let me analyze this – I am the reluctant leader – A loyalist and a people reader – Sometimes, a future seer – I am the overthinker – I am the stability seeker – Calm in a storm, a life lesson teacher – Sometimes, I just sit in the bleachers – I am the overthinker

4 – “An Honest Worship Song?”

Some days I feel like I’d make a good Doubting Thomas or the prophet Jonah – And I could relate when I’d hear the prodigal son had an older brother – Is this proof of my fear in God because I think I might actually be terrified? Is this proof I’m a chosen one because I can’t deny I’ve always felt this hope inside? Makes me wonder: Is something wrong, do I not belong? Makes me wonder: Would God want an honest worship song? I don’t raise my arms up – I keep my hands in my pockets – Why don’t I display stage presence yet I pray alone in my closet? Would God really want an honest worship song? Some days I feel like I’d make a better agnostic than I would a Christian – Got so many questions I feel like I can’t ask about my own religion – Is this proof of my pride just because I want to find all of these answers? Is this proof of my faith just because I care about what I think matters? Some days I’d make for a typical black sheep of the flock – The fact that I ask all this could mean I’m jaded but I am not lost

5 – “What If We Could See Beyond These Labels?”

You can wave your rainbow flag, identify the way you like – Adopt children Roe Vs. Wade could not reach – Or you can wave your Confederate flag, try to justify your Southern pride – Though to many it’s perceived as hateful and obscene – You don’t even know what I believe – My views are irrelevant the way I see it – Either way, it’s just the same to me: What if we could see beyond these labels? What if we would simply love our neighbors? What if we prayed for our enemies and we agreed to disagree? You can live as an atheist or bow to Allah to be blessed – Or think you’ll be reincarnated as a willow tree – You can trust in politics, red or blue, just see what sticks – Or worship overpaid athletes on a team

6 – “Matter”

The world never knew that I ever got here – Not a face in this crowd would notice if I disappeared – No need for me to look to the stars – To notice how small we really are – Why does it bother me that the world doesn’t need my help to turn around? Why does it bother me the universe without me in it wouldn’t be any worse? I’m here to give life meaning – I feel alive when you need me – I need to matter to you – I’m invisible to billions – But I don’t question my existence – If I matter to you – I’d be relieved to learn the Earth is flat – I’d be slightly more relevant in terms like that – But gravity’s got this hold on me – So I’m hanging on upside down, reluctantly – Am I more than just matter? Am I more than just matter? Am I more than just matter? Do I matter to you?

7 – “Sunflower”

There is comfort in the routine – There’s excitement in the unseen – I am your anchor, you are my wings – I am your rock, you are my sunflower – You are my sunflower – And the rain begins to fall, been awake for too long – Too much time to think about my life, so many ways it could go wrong – And the sky begins to clear, been asleep until now – Too many things to do while we are here, time is always running out

8 – “Room Full of Eyes on You”

You’ve got a room full of eyes on you right now – And you still haven’t figured it out – Room full of eyes on you right now – You stole the the show – No, there isn’t a doubt – I’m the great detective here by your side – It’s no surprise to Sherlock here when I find – You’ve got a room full of eyes on you right now – I’m never not watching people, can’t mind my own business – I’m so good at pointing out the person of interest – It’s obvious that character is you, the crowd agrees – I’ve got a front row seat to the irony – You’re unaware they all think you’re someone they have seen – In some Americana magazine – I suppose that’s the way this trade off works – If you could see how exceptional you truly look – Could your smile still be so innocent? I suppose that to look like you on the outside – The inside can’t afford to be tangled in pride-  Because you’ve got a heart that’s so genuine

9 – “It’s Time to Start Another War!”

It’s time to start another war! Like the ones we did before – Who’s next on our hit list? Who’s calling who the terrorist? It’s time to start another war! We’ll need a motive we can all root for – Maybe out in Asia or the Middle East – Say we fight for freedom – We fight for peace – What we need is another Vietnam Nam – We don’t have to win if we just keeping running long – Let history repeat Afghanistan – For twenty years we occupied that land – Forgot we were still there – What we need is another foreign face – A different religion, a darker race – Post traumatic stress disorder in the making – Why help the world when instead we could be invading? We’re running a business here – Never forget – Never forget – Never forget – Never forget – We’re the good guys – The Lord’s on our side – We’re the heroes – We’re the heroes you should fear

10 – “Wi-Fi in My Coffin”

Book me a U-Haul to pull behind the hearse – I need my essentials when I’m buried in the dirt – Don’t forget my selfie stick for my podcast and Instagram – Got to get my followers the updates wherever I am – Give me Wi-Fi in my coffin – When I die, I still ain’t stoppin’ – I want a fancy casket: bells and whistles and gold – Then bury my money with me below – So much for FOMO, I don’t know what I’d do – If I were detached from all the action I’m plugged into – Make sure my funeral gets five star reviews – Include a salad bar and karaoke too – Maybe get some board games and even a water slide – I’m thinking a bounce house and of course we can’t forget pony rides – I just don’t like the feeling of being so weighed down – Got to keep things moving, that’s what I’m all about, you know – I’ve got places to go, I’ve got people to see – Don’t try to drag me down, man – Just keep this party flowing free

11- “End Up Somewhere Good”

I told ya I loved ya – Ya moved to Australia – That was a strange reaction – I told ya I’d still be waiting in Tennessee when you returned to me – It was a little bit crazy but I wouldn’t change things, not one bit – I never thought about how funny that was – That’s the story of what happened when we fell in love – The younger version of us knew what they were doing back then – We’re here together now because of what they did – We’re a little bit crazy but I wouldn’t change things, not one bit – Let’s run away, let’s run away – We’ll end up somewhere good – Let’s find a place, let’s find a place – We’ll end up somewhere good – End up somewhere good – Well I guess it worked out ’cause here I am now – Singin’ a song and it don’t sound sad – So I guess I’m gonna keep ya – Gonna keep ya around – Singin’ a song and it don’t sound bad – We’re a little bit crazy but I wouldn’t change things, not one bit – Look at what we did when we were just kids – Barely knew each other so we got married – Love was enough, only took a few months – Barely knew each other so we got married – We’re a little bit crazy but I wouldn’t change things, not one bit

12 – “Shadow Self”

I was kind to the world but not to myself – Like somehow I deserved less – Classic Stockholm Syndrome, both the captor and the victim – I’ve allowed myself to be released – My shadow self has been redeemed – Inside of me is inner peace – Can I finally feel complete? Like Saturn and its seven rings – It’s weird to hear your own voice – Is that the way I really sound to everyone else? It’s strange to see your own face – Is that the way I really look to everyone else? I used to be a scared little boy pretending not to be afraid – Convinced myself I was brave – My counterphobic tactic saved me for the past three decades – Fooled myself more than anyone – This is me saying how I feel at the end of another year – In my mind the smoke has cleared – The fear is disappearing

Thanks for taking the time to understand my view of the world! I would love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment!

Dear Holly: Benefiting from Being the Younger Sister at Your Brother’s Birthday Party

6 years, 6 months.

Dear Holly,

I never gave it any thought, that you automatically would be getting to participate in your brother’s 12th birthday party, where most of the kids invited were in 6th grade; as compared to you, being in 1st grade.

You had so much fun being able to jump around on the bounce house and go down the slides. And I noticed how some of Jack’s friends made an effort to include you. That meant a lot to me.

And I know you definitely appreciated your brother giving you the leftover party favors, which included a variety of little figurines of puppies.

You have been playing with them nonstop since his party on Saturday!

Love,

Daddy

“If I Didn’t Have a Girl to Impress” – Song 15 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

 

Scattered throughout the dozens of original songs I’ve released on my YouTube channel, you will find my version of a “love song” every once in a while.

I’ve noticed that with other male Enneagram 6 songwriters like Bruce Springsteen (“Secret Garden”) and Tom Petty (“Here Comes My Girl”), when they write a “love song”, it comes out sounding more like a song about overcoming obstacles to “earn” that love. Ultimately, it’s the concept that the man is alone and lost until he finally finds the girl.

Throughout my versions of love songs, this is often the case with me as well. The “romance” is much more subtle than in a pop song.

Some interesting trivia about this song is that it was intended to be a duet that my wife and I were to perform together. I give her half the credit for writing it with me.

However, she felt that song sounded too sad for her likings. It therefore became a solo song instead of a duet:

If I didn’t have a girl to impress, I’d be living in a van down by the river – I’d be lost and lonely if nothing else – I’d always know there was something missing – If I didn’t have a hold of your hand – I’d be out at sea, turned around and stranded – I’d be lost and lonely if nothing else – I’d always know there was something missing – So tell me what’s the point in even living – You can’t write a story when there’s no beginning – And tell me who I am if it’s not you next to me – I’d always know there was something missing and it’s you next to me – If I didn’t ask you to marry me, you’d always be the one who got away – You never stopped being out of my league – I still feel the need to impress you everyday – If I didn’t take a chance on your love – I would have went and gone and messed the whole thing up – You never let go of my hand – Now here we are, look at all we have

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

“Who is the Ghost, Here?” – Song 14 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

This song serves as proof to me that it was 2 and a half years ago, on April 9, 2022, that I first started becoming aware of my personal Enneagram 6 complex: the constant yet somewhat muted feeling that I don’t matter; the feeling that I am invisible to the world.

During The Covid Lockdown, I was put on furlough for a few months from my employer. So I was in my own house, without a job, with my family; consisting of kids who were not able to go to school.

As an Enneagram 6, it is very important to me that I understand what my role is.

What jump-started me writing this song was when morning when my wife walked by as I was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, “It’s so cold in this house.”

My wife is always cold. Keep in mind, she said this in April.

When she said that, it inspired me to write a song about a person who questioned whether life as a ghost would actually feel anymore disconnected from society than an actual living person.

I feel that this song is the epitome of what if feels like to be an Enneagram 6. You can see my 5 wing in the attempt to accept life and death for what they are; unexplainable and unpredictable.

My 7 wing shows in my anxiety about potential restlessness during eternity.

The themes you see in these lyrics will continue throughout so many songs I have written since:

It’s so cold in this house, I can’t feel my bones – There’s people walking around but is this even my home? Did I? Did I? Did I die? Did I? Did I? Did I survive? Who is the ghost, here? Which one of us moved on? Who is the ghost here? Which one of us is in a better place? Can I walk through walls? Can I walk on water? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? What if I get restless while I live forever? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? Most people who have ever lived are now buried in this Earth – The dead know something we don’t – Until we join them, I guess we won’t – I see the dark, I see the light – I see my body from up so high

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

“We Had a Good Run” – Song 13 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

Published on April 8th, 2020, this was the first song I wrote because of The Covid Shutdown.

As an Enneagram 6, I am always preparing for what might go wrong. So you can imagine, it was important for me to mentally process never seeing members of my family again.

Specifically, this song was about me sorting out my feelings about my parents; who live about 3 hours away. Keep in mind, this was written at the beginning of The Covid Shutdown; before most people I knew actually starting getting Covid- and way before there was a vaccine available.

It is obviously the greatest understatement to tell your parents, “I don’t want you to die.”

So instead, I wrote this song about my life alongside them; not knowing what was ahead.

As you read the lyrics, notice the end of the song, where I officially switch over to the “Counterphobic 6” mindset:

If this is my final chance to say the things I haven’t yet – I would choose you every time if I could live a thousand lives – You loved me when I was young before I was who I’ve become – When this is all said and done, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – We had a good run, I don’t want to see the ending – We had a good run, I don’t want a new beginning – Hold on, hold on, hold on to me – I can’t let go, no – We had a good run – I’ll see you on other side, whatever Heaven ends up like – I’ll find you somewhere in that crowd, whatever we both look like now – And if we can remember back, back to all the years we had – We’ll pick up where things left off, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – I must have been built for the Apocalypse – I don’t feel anxious or too worried about this – I’d rather us all go at the exact same time – Than to be left behind and have to say goodbye

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish: