Top 10 Masculine Traits of Men (Plus, “I’m a Masculinist, Which is Not the Opposite of a Feminist”)

I recently compiled the world’s first official Top 10 List of Masculine Traits in Men.

My list is a reflection of what society as a whole deems as important to the overall definition of masculinity. That’s not to say a woman can’t have these attributes, but I am presenting a theory that when a man is the opposite of one of these traits, it typically serves as an indication that society will see him as less masculine to some degree.

With no further ado, here is my list of the Top 10 Masculine Traits of Men; which are not necessarily listed in order of importance, as I believe that part can depend on the individual man himself:

1.      Confident (believes in himself)

2.      Respects Women and Helps His Fellow Man (loves others as himself)

3.      Finds Identity in His Unique Skill Set (is aware of what he’s good at)

4.      Healthy and Active (eats right and exercises)

5.      Decisive (can make a quick decision even when it’s tough one)

6.      Committed (especially to family and career)

7.      Leader (knows how to manage and motivate other people)

8.      Good Communicator (can make complicated concepts seems simple)

9.      Funny (knows how to use humor as an effective social tool)

10.  Emotionally Intelligent (doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, nor does he keep all his feeling bottled up inside)

Ultimately, the fact I created this list is proof that I am a masculinist with a masculinist mindset. After I Googled the term, I learned that “masculinist” can be an adjective or a noun. I identify more with the adjective (“characterized by or denoting attitudes or values held to be typical of men”) than the noun (“an advocate of the rights or needs of men”), as I’m not worried so much about the rights or needs of men.

Instead, I enjoy serving as a spokesman for what masculinity is all about. I am proud to represent husbands and fathers from a positive point of view, which I feel is rare in media.

Being masculinist is not the opposite of feminist. I am for equal rights, and in favor of catering the needs of both women and men, acknowledging there are some exclusive differences.

I celebrate women. I celebrate men.

It’s just that I know a lot more about being a man.

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I’ve Got Walls Up, because I’m a Guy

Welcome to the deep, mysterious, likely un-relatable, rarely revealed cavern of the emotionally intelligent male mind.

Back in 2010, when my wife was pregnant with our son, my blog was featured in American Baby magazine; which eventually led to me becoming the official daddy blogger of their sister magazine, Parents; from May 2011 to June 2014.

In the initial write-up in American Baby, they pitched my blog to their readers with this invitation: “Wondering what your hubby’s really thinking?…”

At the time, I remember reading that and thinking, “Yeah, but I’m not that kind of guy. That’s not me. I don’t keep things to myself. My thoughts are no mystery to anyone…”

That was in 2010, before I actually had kids. Plus, I had only been married about 2 years at that point.

One of the great advantages of being married now for 8 and a half years and having 2 kids is that, by default, I have gained emotional intelligence. I grew up on in the inside. I got toughened up.

I became the husband and father I needed to be. The sensitive, and therefore “offendable”, guy I was before wasn’t enough to get the job done.

Essentially, to the outside world, I transcended from “optimistic nice person who everybody likes” to “hopeful yet realistic personable man who doesn’t necessarily measure up to everyone’s expectations anymore.”

Nostalgically put, I evolved from Luke Skywalker into Han Solo.

It was a necessary transformation for me. Perhaps one of the major milestones of this journey was when I published a blog post (and accompanying video) inviting the free world to attempt to offend me.

I had discovered that the only person who has power and authority over my emotions is me. In other words, no one in this entire world can “offend” me or “hurt my feelings” if I don’t first give them permission.

So I simply stopped giving anyone permission to offend me. And up came the walls…

I now live in a reality where I am unoffendable. Since making this conscious decision, the quality of my life has undeniably…

Improved.

Things in life just don’t bother me as much. Life is smoother now.

I am now in control of my emotions instead of them controlling me. For example, I have no shame in admitting I allow myself to cry every time I watch Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. I am in touch with, and in control of, my emotions to the point where the cartoonish yet realistic presentation of a parent’s love for their child gets to me.

Needless to say, on the other hand, other people’s Facebook comments claim no effect on my day.

I have simplified my life so that I can enjoy and appreciate it that much more.

Granted, there’s a perceived downside to the lifestyle of male emotional intelligence.

I’ve got those walls up now. I’m more detached from the popular distractions of the world- and I know this.

But this, for me, is safe- and it’s efficient; less complicated.

In other words, I’ve become that guy I couldn’t relate to back in 2010:

I keep a lot of things to myself. Most of my thoughts are now a mystery to everyone.

I’ve adopted a Libertarian approach to the opinions and lifestyles of other people. What they do doesn’t bother me and I don’t bother them. I don’t try to change them. I don’t need to change them.

Because now, I am truly confident in myself and my beliefs, despite being completely aware of my unending faults.

This is not a classic case of bottling up my emotions, only to erupt later on. To me, that would be weak.

Instead, it’s a matter of consciously deciding not to let people or things bother me anymore.

In turn, I have noticed that I am that much more focused on my own family and close friends, in real life. Not on Facebook.

The 2010 version of me simply wouldn’t function in my life today in 2017. I have evolved out of necessity.

I now see life for the tragicomedy it is. Life is both sad and funny. It’s both inspiring and depressing.

By evolving to my emotionally intelligent state, I have made it possible to recognize when to express my emotions, accordingly.

Ultimately, I choose joy. I choose hope.

My hope today is that others can relate to my transformation.

You are no longer dealing with the young and naïve Luke Skywalker.

For better or worse, you’ve got Han Solo now.

Ghostbusters Reboot Movie: Chick Flick with No Audience? Men are Irrelevant?

Ghostbusters Reboot Movie: Chick Flick with No Audience? Men are Irrelevant?

For the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot out next Friday (July 15th), I’m curious to see if Sony’s marketing will be able to find an audience for the movie.

Here’s what I mean by that:

The Ghostbusters reboot, which is being nicknamed “Girlbusters” by us doubting Thomas’s, is apparently supposed to be a chick flick. I say that simply because I’ve seen the trailer at least half a dozen times (in hopes it would magically get better).

This the video I recently made on that subject:

The only male shown is Chris Hemsworth, whose character clearly has looks, but no brains. He doesn’t even know how to answer the phone, yet he is the only male character presented.

Meanwhile, the females are smart, heroic, and (apparently?) funny.

Take away the whole Ghostbusters façade of this movie and consider what is left…

This isn’t Ghostbusters. It’s an attempt at being a chick flick, as its director is Paul Feig; perhaps best known for directing the very successful R-rated chick flick, Bridesmaids, which features a female cast.

As I mentioned a few days ago in my post, Ghostbusters Reboot Movie Toys: Boys Aren’t Buying Them, I present a video I shot which demonstrates all the nearly all female cast of characters are actually located in the boys’ section of stories. In fact, no one is buying these toys: I show how the toys are already on 30% clearance though the movie isn’t even out yet.

Based on the trailer, it appears as if men are now irrelevant in the Ghostbusters universe.

And here’s the video I made on that issue:

It’s confusing, because as a non-Donald Trump supporter who is married with kids and who doesn’t live in his parents’ basement, I feel like Sony’s marketing team doesn’t feel I’m necessary as part of the equation of making this movie successful.

So if men are irrelevant, and if women are the target audience, yet the major lack of sale of toys indicated females are not interested in this movie, then who is the audience?

[Insert sound of crickets here.]

Ghostbusters Reboot Movie: Chick Flick with No Audience? Men are Irrelevant?

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

Unless you are Anthony Bourdain, Tony Danza, or Don Henley, chances are you haven’t won the “follicle lottery.”

Most men, myself included, find that by the time they near the age of 35, not only does their hairline recede, but almost even worse, their hair on top begins thinning out significantly.

That combination begins limiting hairstyles for a man. The best response is to start cutting it much shorter on the sides and the back (anywhere between a 2 and 4 guard on the clippers), so that the top looks fuller.

Even then, the top has to be fairly long to distract from the fact that it is indeed thinning. Notice in this picture (below) from this past summer, how you can see how my hair in the front is thinner; I can see scalp in the midst of my hair.

It’s important to me that I am not in denial when it comes to my hair. I embrace reality and don’t try to hide it from the outside world.

So for my hair to look the best, I have to grow it fairly long on top, then pay nearly $20 a month to pay to get it maintained.

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

But what’s the real advantage of a nearly 35 year-old man having hair anyway?

On the contraire, I have learned it’s actually better, in many ways, to choose to be bald.

1)      Many women like the look of a man with a shaved head. My wife is one of them. She’s never liked my hair when it was longer. But when I keep it short, she never has any complaints. Perhaps the psychology is this: “Bald equals masculine, and therefore, equals attractive to women who are attracted to masculine men.”

2)      It’s free to shave your head. A pair of clippers is all you need; no need to go out pay someone at least 20 bucks for a traditional haircut every month. I prefer the 1.5 guard on the clippers as it perfectly matches the thinner area of my hairline; looking more aesthetic all over.

3)      Men with shaved heads look more confident. Those of us who choose to bald show a strong level of confidence in ourselves in being able to commit to such a fairly extreme, yet butch hairstyle.

4)      Men with shaved heads appear to be taller. By no means am I insecure about my completely average height of 5’9”, but sure, I’ll gladly accept the concept of people thinking I’m an inch and a half taller than I actually am.

5)      It’s less maintenance, both physically and psychologically. Based on the number of hits I effortless earn each day on my YouTube videos about receding hairlines, it’s very obvious that most men A) suffer from thinning hair and B) spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it. Instead, they could just choose to opt out of that game as I have.

6)      Wearing hats is more practical. When you don’t have any hair to be matted down after wearing a hat, you never have to worry about looking sloppy after removing a hat in public.

7)      It’s officially cool to have a shaved head. Perhaps never before in human history have men who choose to be bald been cooler. It’s sophisticated rebellion. It’s edgy yet classy.

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

I’m not saying I won’t grow my hair back again, because I know I sporadically will.

But really, I’ve yet to see any incentive to. I’ve yet to how having hair benefits my life at all, whatsoever.

Instead, I only see benefits of choosing not to have hair.

But let’s not simply take my word for it…

I hereby invite you to decide for yourself. I just made this video which contains back and forth footage of me: with a buzz cut, then with hair. Vote which you think looks better by leaving a comment on the video.

Let’s settle this once and for all!

How to Know If Your Hairline is Receding

I remember when I was 19, asking the lady who cuts my hair if my hairline was starting to recede or not. She looked closely at my scalp, and confirmed:

“Yes, it is. See how this hair right here up front is shorter than the rest? That’s how you know.”

Like someone having just heard their own death sentence, I asked, “How much time do you think I have before it starts becoming obvious that I’m gradually losing my hair?”

(Because to a 19 year-old boy, the issue seems to hold that much weight.)

I took it like a man when she told me: “I’d say about 35. You’re probably safe until you are 35 years old.”

Vegans Don’t Get Enough Protein and the World is Still Flat

Being just 19 at the time, I remember what a scary thought it was to imagine that if she was wrong, since my receding hairline had definitely begun, that I could be a victim of early male pattern baldness before I was even in my mid-20s.

Fifteen years have passed since that day.

I’ve made it to age 34, just 7 months away from that fateful birthday when I turn 35. My genes have been good to me.

While I won’t make it to my 50s and still have a full head of hair and a “straight across hairline” like Brad Pitt or John Stamos, or Tony Danza in his 60s, I reached my goal of making it until at least the time I got married.

With all that being said, I now realize how it didn’t even matter anyway, as this video I made explains:

Life experience has taught me that hair loss is one of those things that guys allow themselves to worry about and even become preoccupied by.

Like worrying about your height. Or your size; I’m being discreet about that, in case you’re reading between the lines.

There are companies across the world who are eager to make money off you by selling you the false hope of giving you the “cure”.

They play on your emotions related to you losing your hair, or not being tall enough, or big enough (again, I’m being discreet); they will try to scare you with “the ladies agree size really does matter.”

That’s all garbage.

Are you a man who is sincere, hard-working, creative, caring, passionate, funny, and emotionally intelligent?

Those are the things that make you attractive and respectable and cool as a man.

It’s not about that other stuff.

Just imagine how liberated your mind can become once you accept this as truth, instead of the lies you allow yourself to believe.

I wish someone would have explained this to me when I was 19.

The Perfect Men’s Hairstyle for a Receding Hairline/Video and Pictures

The Perfect Men’s Hairstyle for a Receding Hairline/Video and Pictures

I’ve poured dozens of hours of my time into my YouTube videos, but none of them compare to as this one:

It’s constantly getting new views as well as grateful and positive comments.

Yet I’ve never actually watched it myself! I just lazily made it one night before I even had video editing software.

So I figured if that many men are searching all day long to learn more about having to manage their receding hairline, maybe I should start making more videos and writing more blog posts about it.

Granted, my hairline isn’t too bad for a 34 year-old.

Plus, as I mentioned in a follow up video, men typically put too much pressure on themselves once they realize their hair is thinning and/or receding; since in reality, they’re aren’t really being judged on that aspects by others.

But, as I explained in my original video, I know certain techniques to “downplay” the fact my hairline isn’t quite what it was at age 17.

For example, I never comb by hair straight up or straight down.

I also never keep it at that awkward quarter of an inch length, as it reveals how much my hair has thinned on top. If I buzz my hair all over, I do either a #1 or #2 guard; never a #3 or #4.

Also, I always keep my hair a #2 on the sides and back (unless I buzz it with a #1 all over, obviously), which better proportions that fact my forehead is a little bigger now and that my hair is a little bit thinner on top.

It’s taken me 34 years to finally discover the perfect hairstyle for myself. My hope is that I can help other men in the process.

If you Google “men’s hairstyles”, you’re much more likely to come across pictures of trendy, counter-cultural, and/or high maintenance hairstyles that most average dudes like me cannot appreciate.

So I’m going to help you out. Just go to your barber and pull up this blog post, with the video I made below, and show it to whoever is about it cut your hair.

But first, here is why I feel this is the perfect men’s hairstyle for a receding hairline: A) low maintenance, B) masculine, C) aesthetically appealing.

All you need is a $2 can of Maury’s pomade and about 20 seconds each morning, and you’re good for the rest of the day with this haircut.

It’s short enough to where the wind can’t blow it out of place.

So here it is; give this below info to your barber, and/or pull up this video on your phone:

  1. Leave about an inch and a half on top. In the event your hair is beginning to thin on top like mine, this leaves enough hair to expose that fact.

  2. Fade it with the clippers from a #4 down to a #2 on the sides and back. Do a “lower fade” in the back further down the back of your head; as opposed to the style where the fade begins immediately below the crown.

  3. Let the fade begin higher up on your crown, so that the fade from your 1.5 inch hair to the #4 actually begins on top of your head instead of the side. That helps prevent your hair from “fanning out” to an annoying diamond shape on the sides. It also places the bulk on your longer hair in the middle and front of your head, giving your hair a fuller look without the high maintenance of hair at the back of your head.

  4. Texturize the hair on top; which helps give it the appearance of more body.

  5. Cut your sideburns halfway down the year; it gives just enough of a stylistic edge without looking like you’re a washed out wannabe rock star.

  6. Trim the eyebrows and hairline on the sides with clippers.

  7. After washing the hair, immediately dry it with a towel, then dip your pointer and middle finger into a can of Murray’s pomade. Apply a pea sized amount on to the middle of your hairline first, then use the rest the remainder to the hair on top.

If I did I decent job of describing this, and you did a decent job of showing your barber your smart phone so they could see these pictures and the video, and you had them read those 7 steps, your hair should look something like a masculine, post rock star, post military, Millennial businessman. Or maybe it’s sort of like a much shorter version of rapper Macklemore’s hairstyle.

Let me know if you have any questions. I’m here to help!

I’ll close with this other video I made about how I fix my hair in the morning:

Men Cliches #1: Forgetting Wife’s Birthday And Anniversary