I am testing out a theory on emotional intelligence; and thanks to a video I just released on my YouTube channel this week, I have now made it possible for the free world to attempt to insult me, offend me, hurt my feelings, or negatively affect my emotions by being rude to me; via comments on the YouTube video.
My theory is that it’s officially impossible for the simple reason that I do not allow anyone to hurt my feelings. I do not give anyone permission or power over my emotions, since I am aware that it’s my decision to make, not theirs.
I quickly agree that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not true for everyone. After all, we live in an “outrage culture” in which people so easily get publicly offended; with a little help from social media.
However, I believe that I am on the complete opposite of the “easily offended” spectrum. Over the past 5 years of my life especially, I have taught myself the important life lesson that formally, I was allowing myself to be a victim, instead of proactively choosing to be a victor.
It’s not that I think I’m perfect. The complete opposite is true: I couldn’t be any more aware of my own shortcomings and faults. In fact, I daily invite the free world to give me constructive criticism so I can make my list of imperfections even longer; whether it’s in the virtual world or the real world.
If I can learn a way to be a better human being, I want to know. I love constructive criticism! I thrive on it.
The only way I can prove that it is impossible to insult me, offend me, hurt my feelings, or negatively affect my emotions by being “rude” to me is to make myself a human social experiment, in real time.
If I am insulted, I will admit that my theory was bogus and end the challenge.
However, I will be quite surprised anyone is able to insult me and it actually hurt my feelings. For anyone who does take me up on my offer, chances are, they will mainly be people online who I don’t even know. Just faceless, nameless Internet trolls and hecklers. As a blogger of eleven years, I’m used to that.
I think their “insults” would ultimately come across as obligatory, juvenile, and unoriginal; and that even if they did a good job, they would simply incriminate themselves as people who are insecure about themselves.
Granted, a person who would consider threatening me would not be participating in the challenge I am presenting. If it takes a threat to insult me, then my theory is proven true; as this is about me being immune to emotional attacks, not physical ones.
It’s fundamentally important to me in my everyday life that I do not allow myself to become easily provoked or quick to anger; from another driver pulling out in front of me only to drive under the speed limit, to a coworker who appears to deliberately try to embarrass me in front of others on a daily basis.
So I hereby invite the world to imply I am not good enough, not smart enough, not right enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough, not thin enough, not heavy enough, not strong enough, not intelligent enough, not good-looking enough, not well-balanced enough, or not normal enough.
I invite the universe to judge me and find me unworthy of their own standard. I predict I won’t be offended. I am fundamentally opposed to allowing other people to offend me. I am not a victim. I am a victor.
Victors versus Victims
Victor: compliments others
Victim: criticizes others
Victor: embraces change
Victim: fears change
Victor: forgives others
Victim: holds grudges
Victor: always learning
Victim: thinks they know everything
Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures
Victim: blames others for their failures
Victor: has a sense of gratitude
Victim: has a sense of entitlement
Victor: sets goals and develops plans
Victim: never sets goals