My Theory Proved True on My “You Can’t Insult Me” Challenge, So I Launched an Anti-Bullying Video Series: Bully Backup

My Theory Proved True on My “You Can’t Insult Me” Challenge, So I Launched an Anti-Bullying Video Series: Bully Backup

Two weeks ago, I released a new video on my YouTube channel which invited the free world to attempt to offend or insult me. I had theorized that since I don’t give other people authority over my emotions, it would be scientifically impossible to hurt my feelings.

Not only did I predict correctly, as indeed no one successfully emotionally attacked me, but hardly anyone even tried.

I did have one Internet troll ridiculously attempt to plant doubts in my mind that my wife might leave me for a younger guy, while implying that I was probably seeing other women (or men) on the side anyway.

But clearly, the comment instantly translated into comedy for me. So yeah… officially not offended.

So that got me thinking. Why is it that no one can offend me? Is it simply because I’m wired this way?

The answer is no. I wasn’t always this way. I became this way over the course of my life, as I made myself more and more familiar with what emotional intelligence is all about:

Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

Five years ago, or even two years ago, it was possible to attack my emotions. Not anymore; not after I simply recognized that I could be 100% in control of my emotions, instead of handing the keys over to people.

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After receiving the clever suggestion from a friend to consider doing a video series on anti-bullying, I figured I would give it a shot.

I feel that what sets apart the theme of my anti-bullying series is that I am attempting to help the viewer focus on psychologically preventing the issues. So far, I have created over 10 videos, currently viewable on my YouTube Channel:

It’s Impossible to Offend Me

Being Offended Vs. Constant Mindset of Forgiveness

The “You Can’t Insult Me” Challenge

Psychologically Outsmarting Bullies

Find Your Allies

People Care about You

Do You Respect Those Who Insult You?

Are You a Victim or Victor?

I Know How You Feel

The Proximity Effect

You Too Can Choose Not to Be Offended

In my anti-bullying series, I challenge my viewers in many ways, in hopes they can ultimately outsmart potential bullies through strategy. To summarize it…

Realize that perceived bullies can’t force you to be offended; you have to allow them first. You have to respect their opinion for it to matter to you.

Be ready to openly acknowledge others’ perceived flaws in you, so that when they “attack”, you’re able to beat them to the punchline, surprising them with your lack of emotional response.

Find and create a network of people from the friendliest people from as many different cliques as you can; who will be there to socialize with and support you wherever you are.

I hope my series helps people. If nothing else, I hope I can remind you today that you too can choose to not be offended.

It is my passion to help the world realize the importance of choosing to live like victors, not victims; which is ultimately what emotional intelligence is all about.

Victors versus Victims

Victor: compliments others

Victim: criticizes others

Victor: embraces change

Victim: fears change

Victor: forgives others

Victim: holds grudges

Victor: always learning

Victim: thinks they know everything

Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures

Victim: blames others for their failures

Victor: has a sense of gratitude

Victim: has a sense of entitlement

Victor: sets goals and develops plans

Victim: never sets goals

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The “You Can’t Insult Me Challenge” on My YouTube Channel (My Theory That It’s Impossible to Offend Me with Words because I Don’t Give People Power over My Emotions)

I am testing out a theory on emotional intelligence; and thanks to a video I just released on my YouTube channel this week, I have now made it possible for the free world to attempt to insult me, offend me, hurt my feelings, or negatively affect my emotions by being rude to me; via comments on the YouTube video.

My theory is that it’s officially impossible for the simple reason that I do not allow anyone to hurt my feelings. I do not give anyone permission or power over my emotions, since I am aware that it’s my decision to make, not theirs.

I quickly agree that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not true for everyone. After all, we live in an “outrage culture” in which people so easily get publicly offended; with a little help from social media.

However, I believe that I am on the complete opposite of the “easily offended” spectrum. Over the past 5 years of my life especially, I have taught myself the important life lesson that formally, I was allowing myself to be a victim, instead of proactively choosing to be a victor.

It’s not that I think I’m perfect. The complete opposite is true: I couldn’t be any more aware of my own shortcomings and faults. In fact, I daily invite the free world to give me constructive criticism so I can make my list of imperfections even longer; whether it’s in the virtual world or the real world.

If I can learn a way to be a better human being, I want to know. I love constructive criticism! I thrive on it.

The only way I can prove that it is impossible to insult me, offend me, hurt my feelings, or negatively affect my emotions by being “rude” to me is to make myself a human social experiment, in real time.

If I am insulted, I will admit that my theory was bogus and end the challenge.

However, I will be quite surprised anyone is able to insult me and it actually hurt my feelings. For anyone who does take me up on my offer, chances are, they will mainly be people online who I don’t even know. Just faceless, nameless Internet trolls and hecklers. As a blogger of eleven years, I’m used to that.

I think their “insults” would ultimately come across as obligatory, juvenile, and unoriginal; and that even if they did a good job, they would simply incriminate themselves as people who are insecure about themselves.

Granted, a person who would consider threatening me would not be participating in the challenge I am presenting. If it takes a threat to insult me, then my theory is proven true; as this is about me being immune to emotional attacks, not physical ones.

It’s fundamentally important to me in my everyday life that I do not allow myself to become easily provoked or quick to anger; from another driver pulling out in front of me only to drive under the speed limit, to a coworker who appears to deliberately try to embarrass me in front of others on a daily basis.

So I hereby invite the world to imply I am not good enough, not smart enough, not right enough, not funny enough, not interesting enough, not thin enough, not heavy enough, not strong enough, not intelligent enough, not good-looking enough, not well-balanced enough, or not normal enough.

I invite the universe to judge me and find me unworthy of their own standard. I predict I won’t be offended. I am fundamentally opposed to allowing other people to offend me. I am not a victim. I am a victor.

The “You Can’t Insult Me Challenge” on My YouTube Channel (My Theory That It’s Impossible to Offend Me with Words because I Don’t Give People Power over My Emotions)

Victors versus Victims

Victor: compliments others

Victim: criticizes others

Victor: embraces change

Victim: fears change

Victor: forgives others

Victim: holds grudges

Victor: always learning

Victim: thinks they know everything

Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures

Victim: blames others for their failures

Victor: has a sense of gratitude

Victim: has a sense of entitlement

Victor: sets goals and develops plans

Victim: never sets goals

He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown DVD Review

On October 6, 2015, a new Peanuts DVD compilation hit the streets: He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown.

He's a Bully, Charlie Brown DVD Review

The DVD is 69 minutes long and consists of 3 episodes. The first, which is the main feature, is He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown, in which a boy tricks all the other boys at camp into taking their marbles by teaching them how to play.

In It Was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown, the Peanuts gang is back at summer camp again; this time for a fun boys vs. girls competition in camp sports.

And finally, in Snoopy: Team Manager, we see a few shorter episodes together as a regular length episode; all taken from the series, The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show, from 1983.

Our family really enjoyed sitting down together and watching the whole DVD!

He's a Bully, Charlie Brown DVD Review

A NEW PEANUTS COMPILATION FROM

WARNER BROS. HOME ENTERTAINMENT

AVAILABLE OCTOBER 6, 2015

Release aligns with Anti-Bullying Month in Support of Educating and Raising Awareness of Bullying Prevention 

Official Press Release:

BURBANK, CA (June 15, 2015) — Important life lessons are learned by the Peanuts gang, on He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown available October 6, 2015 from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment (WBHE). This heartwarming collection brings together two Peanuts specials that are paired with an episode of The Charlie Brown & Snoopy Show, that have been brilliantly remastered in all-new 4K Ultra HD transfers to DVD. In this must-own compilation, Charlie Brown is called upon to stand up for one of his pals, who is taken advantage of by a bully at summer camp. This title will be released in time for National Bullying Prevention Month, which takes place in October. He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown will retail for $19.97 SRP.

With school out for summer, Charlie Brown and his pals set out for camp. Rerun van Pelt, Lucy’s youngest brother, brings his prized collection of marbles, which once belonged to his grandfather, Felix, an award-winning marbles champ. Rerun is determined to become a marble master just like his grandpa but first, he must find someone who will teach him how to play the game.

At camp, Rerun meets Joe Agate, a tough-talking and disrespectful older boy who takes advantage of Rerun’s naiveté and cons him out of all his grandpa Felix’s marbles. A devastated Rerun confides in Charlie Brown, who is so disgusted by Joe’s behavior that he decides to stand up to him, with the help of Snoopy as Joe Cool, of course. Will Charlie Brown summon the courage to face the awful Joe Agate and win back Rerun’s beloved marbles?

In It was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown, which is also featured on this release, it’s a hilarious battle of boys against girls, with Snoopy having to get in the middle of it all.  At summer camp, the Peanuts gang put up with poor food and the girls winning all the sports competitions. To get even, the boys challenge them to an arm-wrestling contest between Lucy and “The Masked Marvel” – aka Snoopy in disguise. Will the boys triumph or stay defeated?

He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown also features an episode of The Charlie Brown & Snoopy Show, which includes four delightful segments, including Shoveling, Rerun, Lost Blanket and The Manager.

He’s a Bully, Charlie Brown, sends a powerful message. From time to time, we’re all faced with situations in which we have to be strong, courageous and stand up for what we believe is right,” said Mary Ellen Thomas, Vice President Family & Animation Marketing. She added, “We’re delighted to release this inspiring collection. If you love Peanuts, this is one title you won’t want to miss.”

Bullying Prevention Month: Teaching My Infant Self-Defense

October 25, 2011 at 10:19 pm , by 

Eleven months.

It’s a proud moment in a dad’s life to learn that while under the care of another adult, your son elbow jabbed another kid who was hitting him on the head. And that is exactly what happened.  My eleven month old son defended himself against a bully’s repeated attacks. Interestingly enough, he and “the bully” are now friends.

My son taught the bully to respect him by putting him in his place. That’s my boy.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. What better way for me to celebrate as a dad than to know my daily wrestling routines with my son have paid off? I play the big scary monster who hides behind the couch and charges towards him to give him a big “daddy hug.” It’s a way for him to test his strength against mine, as he knows I’m no real danger to him. I’m simply his training coach.

Why do men love sports? Playing sports is like “playing war.”

At the end of the day, no one really gets hurt too badly but the players get to engage their masculine strength (and strategies) against other “warriors.” Another thing it reminds me of is the way that dogs “play fight.” It’s their natural way of preparing for an attack by a larger dog or some kind of other serious physical threat.

So why should things be any different with my (not-so) little man? It’s simply an instinct for me to want to wrestle him and that, accordingly, he enjoys the challenge. I’m preparing for him to defend himself from another kid trying to pick on him. What I am not doing is simply teaching him violence for the sake of violence.

Preventing bullying means a lot of things. But ultimately, I’ve yet to talk to one father out there who is okay with his son not defending himself against being physically attacked by a peer.

Bullies attack those who they perceive as weak because they themselves are weak in some way; also because they have a lack of respect for others. I vow to teach my son that he is strong, both in spirit and in body. That may mean that he has to teach the bully to respect him by fighting back.

Sometimes words (and corporate policies) prevent bullying. Other times, a good ole fashioned elbow jab does the trick.

Passing the Mic:

Do you encourage your son to fight the bully in the name of self-defense? Or is my approach a perfect example of “bad parenting?”

The Token Bad Guy: Osama bin Laden is Dead

From Ben Linus to bin Laden, evil has a name.

Now that President Obama announced that Osama bin Laden is officially dead, it makes me think about how there always how to be a “bad guy”, both locally and world-wide.

In Judd Apatow’s Jewish comedy (a franchise he has specialized in for the past decade, based on a strategic formula including Seth Rogen and/or Paul Rudd, a good dose of bromance, a classic soft rock soundtrack, mostly ad-lib dialogue, a heavy and almost dark dramatic element somewhere in the plot line, a running time of at least 2 hours and 15 minutes, an unpredictable ending but no “twist”, and constant references to reproductive organs) Funny People, there is a scene where Adam Sandler’s character is babysitting his ex-girlfriend’s two young daughters. As they play, one of the girls takes him captive like he’s a dragon, while the other has come to rescue him. He looks up at them and says to each one, “Are YOU the good guy or are YOU the good guy?”

While in cartoons and children’s own made-up playtime storylines the antagonist often takes pride in knowingly being evil, in real life the Bad Guy usually doesn’t realize that he’s the Bad Guy. It amazes me that there always has to be a handful of countries in the world that serve as a current Bad Country. It’s been England (watch the movie The Patriot about the Revolutionary War). It’s been Germany (the Nazi’s). It’s been Russia (watch Rocky IV) and still kinda is.

Why can’t the evil leader of a country think to himself: “Oh no! I’m ‘that guy’. I’m the bad person that’s causing problems with the rest of the world. I need to start with the man in the mirror and change my ways”. From what I’ve read about Adolph Hitler, in his own mind he simply was carrying out an ultimate version of Charles Darwin’s concept of “survival of the fittest”. He was only advancing what he saw as in the inevitable. He wasn’t a sadistic tyrant, not the way he saw it. He didn’t see himself as the Bad Guy.

From each holy war ever fought in history, down to the elementary school bully, the true villain is doing what is right according to his own view. The Bad Guy is dead wrong, yes. But he doesn’t see it that way.  While obviously I don’t have the potential to become a radical tyrannical leader of threatening foreign country, I still can find myself in a similar scenario as North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il, by simply being the Bad Guy on a much lesser scale in everyday situations and not realizing it. If only Bad Guys always realized they’re the Bad Guy… well, it might help a little.

“We’re never gonna win the world, we’re never gonna stop the war. We’re never gonna beat this if belief is what we’re fighting for.” -John Mayer (“Belief”)

*Some bad guys, like this one, may or may not repent of their evil ways in the end.