Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

4 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

Dear Jack,

On November 26th, the night before Thanksgiving this year, I was driving home from work. Normally, I would have had you in the car with me, in the back seat.

Fortunately, Mommy got off work early that day and she picked you up instead.

As I drove down that narrow, wooded, farm land stretch from Cool Springs to Nolensville, on Clovercroft Road, I made sure to slow down, going under the speed limit because of all the light rain and heavy fog obstructing my view.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

Less than a mile from home, I looked over the left hand side of the road to see what appeared to be a skinny white cow running faster than I’ve ever seen a cow run.

As it made its way down that hill, which was part of a farm, I noticed it was being chased… by a deer.

At that point, I realized that actually, both animals were deer.

The all-white one jumped the 4 foot tall barb wire fence. In a split-second moment, I had a big decision to make:

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

I chose to remain cruising at the same speed and let the deer run into the side of me.

Officially, I did not hit a deer… a deer hit me!

It reminded me of some generic yet familiar scene from Lost, where some big explosion happens and the character wakes up wondering where they are. (That seemed to happen a lot on Lost!)

Miraculously, by the grace of God, the albino deer didn’t crash through my window. It hit hard against my driver’s side door and tire.

However, the impact didn’t slow down my car or knock my car off the road.

When I looked back behind me, I saw no sign of the deer; nor did the cars behind me have to swerve. The albino deer just completely disappeared.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)I was able to drive home, with no injuries.

However, when I got home, I was unable to open the driver’s side door, as the deer’s impact had jammed the tire panel into the door.

And for some reason, the battery was dead the next morning.

I ended up having to have my car towed. Please note to avoid having an insurance claim in between the 2 biggest holidays of the year.

Keep in mind the accident occurred on November 26th. Well, I got my car back from the shop just a couple of days ago, on December 30th; about 5 weeks later.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

I have to compliment Service King in Cool Springs, TN; where my car was towed. They did a flawless job of keeping me informed via text messages and phone calls on the status of my vehicle’s condition.

Yes, it took 5 weeks to get my car back after the accident, but in no way was the delay because of Service King. It had to do with the insurance inspection in the midst of the holidays, as well as a surge of claims of deer hitting cars.

My car was towed to facility to a place where they total cars; only to eventually learn that, thank God, my car wasn’t totaled.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

So after a couple of weeks of that, it was finally taken to Service King, where it was repaired.

Just to be clear, though, it was nothing short of a miracle that my car wasn’t totaled. The state of Tennessee requires insurance companies to total vehicles if the damage is equal to 70% or more of the vehicle’s value.

Looks like I was only safe by a couple hundred dollars.

One good thing that came out of all this is I got to review 4 cars during the past month. For example, here are the stories that came out of the Lexus LX 570:

l1

Dear Jack: My Childhood Christmas Tree, The 1980s Time Capsule

Dear Jack: Christmas Is Always Quirky Wherever We Are

Discovering A Mysterious Purse While Geocaching In Fort Payne, Alabama

Dear Jack: Little River Falls/Abandoned Church Christmas Trip

Dear Jack: The Day After Christmas Was Still Fun Too!

How To Have A Vegan, Vegetarian, Kosher Or Plant-Based Christmas

2014 Lexus LX 570: Family Friendly Review

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

I also reviewed the 2014 Lexus RX 450h during this 5 week period as well:

2014 Lexus RX 450h: 2014 Lexus RX 450h 5-DR SUV (DVD Player Equipped): Family Friendly Review; Dear Jack: Marvel Universe Live- Family Friendly Review (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Meeting Santa With Sophie At Bass Pro Shop (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Jacob’s 5th Birthday Party In A Tractor Store (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: The Old Abandoned Silo Tower On Main Street in Spring Hill, TN (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Our New House’s Shutters, Mailbox, & Interior Paint (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

2014 Lexus RX 450h 5-DR SUV (DVD Player Equipped): Family Friendly Review 

Dear Jack: Marvel Universe Live- Family Friendly Review (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

Dear Jack: Meeting Santa With Sophie At Bass Pro Shop (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

Dear Jack: Jacob’s 5th Birthday Party In A Tractor Store (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

Dear Jack: The Old Abandoned Silo Tower On Main Street in Spring Hill, TN (Lexus RX 450h Weekend) 

Dear Jack: Our New House’s Shutters, Mailbox, & Interior Paint (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

In closing, please remember my words of wisdom: Never slow down, stop, or swerve to avoid hitting an animal.

Dear Jack: I Was Hit By An Albino Deer! (Yes, An Albino Deer)

Had I done any of those things, the accident would have been billed as my fault. I would have had a $500 deductible, plus my premium would have went up.

But because I chose to let the deer hit me, I remained safe on the road, and my deductible was only $100; not to mention my premium will not increase.

Here in the state of Tennessee, you seriously have to watch out for those albino deer…

2014 Lexus RX 450h: 2014 Lexus RX 450h 5-DR SUV (DVD Player Equipped): Family Friendly Review; Dear Jack: Marvel Universe Live- Family Friendly Review (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Meeting Santa With Sophie At Bass Pro Shop (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Jacob’s 5th Birthday Party In A Tractor Store (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: The Old Abandoned Silo Tower On Main Street in Spring Hill, TN (Lexus RX 450h Weekend); Dear Jack: Our New House’s Shutters, Mailbox, & Interior Paint (Lexus RX 450h Weekend)

Fortunately, your Uncle Andrew and Aunt Dana bought me a deer warner for Christmas.

Love,

Daddy

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abbi’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

4 years.

Dear Jack,

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

I mentioned how you chose to wear your “super hero costume” to open your birthday gifts from Mommy and me when you turned 4 a few weeks ago; having received the outfit as a gift from your friend Madison at your Lego birthday party at Bricks 4 Kidz.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Well, this weekend you were quite excited when Mommy and I learned that Abbi’s birthday actually had a costume theme.

While I tried to convince you just to wear your Ninja Turtle hoodie and be Donatello, you insisted on wearing your costume from Madison.

The logistical problem with that is that we had already boxed it up in our storage unit, as our new house should be ready by the end of next month.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Mommy was up for the challenge so we loaded up in the 2014 Hyundai Santa Fe we have been driving this week, as we await the news of whether or not my own car will be totaled thanks the albino deer that hit me on the way home the night before Thanksgiving.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Something really cool about every Hyundai I have reviewed is that basically the entire ceiling is a moon roof. You love that! You love being able to see so much of what’s going on.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Mommy’s favorite feature of the Santa Fe is the heated seats, especially this time of year.

My favorite thing about it is the size. Now more than ever, I like a good strong SUV that help protect me in the event I get hit by another albino deer. Hyundais are just nice vehicles anyway, as I’ve been quick to mention in my other reviews of them.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Speaking of safety, I also really appreciate the Blind Spot Detection System, which alerts me anytime another vehicle or object is getting dangerously close to me. (After having recently been hit by a deer, this is something I’m quite sensitive to this days!)

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

And not to mention, the back-up camera saves me a lot of worries too. (See below the relevant song that happened to come up on XM radio this week while we were driving the Santa Fe.)

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Well, thanks to Mommy’s supreme packing skills, she was able to pull up the door of our storage unit, then immediately open up the box with your super hero costume! You then curiously asked about your monster trucks- she found that box too.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Before Abbi’s birthday party, we decided we should stop by our new house which is still under construction and see the latest updates.

Afterwards, as part of our tradition, we stopped by the model home so you could say hi to the in-house real estate agent. You had hidden a piece of foam (which you refer to as your “pizza parlor”) in the bushes and decided to crawl under the Christmas tree as a gift… because that’s normal for 4 year-old boys, I assume. (See top picture, again.)

When we arrived to Abbi’s party, we were greeted by hens, which we fed some dried worms to.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

Once we walked inside the house, I was glad we had found your costume beforehand, because I realized your Ninja Turtle hoodie wasn’t quite enough for this costume-themed party.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

You kept your eye mask on the entire drive and at least the first 30 minutes of the party.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

And of course, your friend Madison (who gave you the costume) was so happy to see you wearing it. (Pictured below.)

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

You were lucky: you basically got to have an all-you-can-eat sweets buffet while we were there.

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

So we decided having dinner at Whole Foods would be a good way to offset that, but first we stopped to see some Christmas lights along the way.

Needless to say, we had a really fun week in the Santa Fe. And you especially had fun, being a super hero the whole time!

Love,

Daddy

Dressing As A Super Hero For Abby’s Birthday/2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Weekend

2014 Hyundai Santa Fe Standard Features:

5 year/60,000 mile New Vehicle Warranty

10 year/100,000 mile Powertrain Warranty

7 year/Unlimited mile and Perforation Warranty

5 year/Unlimited mile Roadside Assistance

2014 Hyundai Santa Fe

Advanced Safety Technology:

Vehicle Stability Management (VSM) with Traction Control

ABS with Electronic Brake Force Distribution & Brake Assist

Blind Spot Detection System

2014 Hyundai Santa Fe

Powertrain Technology:

3.3 L Gasoline Direct Injection V6 Engine

290 Horsepower @ 6,400 RPM

Fuel Economy:

21 MPG average: 18 city/25 highway

Annual fuel cost: $2,500

2014 Hyundai Santa Fe

Food Fast Companies Use Red And Yellow In Their Logos

Sometimes as an elementary school kid I would just simply luck out. An announcement would come over the brown loudspeaker in class to announce that in the afternoon in the auditorium we would be having a Snake Show. Maybe this is just a northern Alabama thing, I don’t know. But what I do know is the entire school got to skip Social Studies once a year to see The Snake Man share his crazy collection of snakes onstage.

Cobras, water moccasins, racers, and even a giant anaconda which he let a group of volunteers hold in a group effort. Every once in a while, he would purposely (“accidently”) let a snake slither off the display table onto the stage of the floor. And whenever that happened, a piercing scream filled the non air conditioned room as many of the girls (and boys) yelled in terror at the top of their lungs.

The Snake Man defined what it meant to have a backwoods country Southern accent, like the kind State Troopers have in Virginia. He had these old fashioned jokes that he thought were hilarious. And by the 4th grade, I had memorized his routine. When he pulled out the albino rattlesnake, he would always say: “The reason this snake is white is because of lack of pigment in his genes. Now I don’t mean blue jeans…” At the end of the show, he gave us all some tips on how to know which snakes were poisonous and which were not. And I will never forget this:

“Red and black, you can pet his back. Red and yella, will kill a fella.”

After the days of Snake Shows were done, I was part of DECA, a Marketing class and club in high school. I loved it. I was actually good at it. We had competitions and got to travel. In the class I learned some neat behind-the-scenes stuff about advertising. One of the things was this: Fast food restaurants usually only use two colors for their signs: Red and yellow.

A quick Wikipedia search of some of the meanings of these colors is interesting. Red: exit, energy, passion, love. Yellow: Slow, fun, happiness, friendship, hope. A person is driving along, sees the red and yellow sign, and subconsciously thinks, “I need to SLOW down and EXIT here, because I have a PASSIONATE LOVE for that food. It brings me HAPPINESS and HOPE, not to mention ENERGY. And Ronald McDonald is my FRIEND.”

It’s hard to find an exception to the red and yellow fast food sign rule. McDonald’s, Burger King, Hardees (Carl’s Jr.), Krystal, Sonic, In-N-Out Burger, Taco Bell, Arby’s, Wendy’s, Popeye’s, Pizza Hut, Bojangle’s. A Google image search will cease any doubts.

Red and yella will kill a fella. Applies to snakes and food.