snakes

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Dear Jack: Making Creepy Tapeworms Out of Play-Doh, Then Making Them Fight

8 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

As I was cleaning the bathrooms Saturday afternoon, I noticed that you grabbed several toothpicks as you were working on a Play-Doh project at the kitchen table.

Eventually, the commentary began:

“Hey Daddy, look! This snake totally just bit the other one but the the other snake stabbed him with the spikes on his back…”

I was happy to see your creativity in action. But I did have to point out that they reminded me more of tape worms. Once I showed you a picture of them on my phone, you easily agreed that you had indeed been unknowingly making and fight giant tapeworms.

Maybe that was better, actually- since tapeworms are arguably creepier than snakes.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You Made a Real Cobra Head Necklace and Wore It to School… So Yeah, That’s Pretty Awesome.

7 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Unlike Indiana Jones, you are clearly not afraid of snakes.

Last week, you found an old key chain I brought back as a souvenir from Thailand, when I was in college. I had bought it from this man who professionally hunted and skinned snakes. He used the leftover heads for key chains.

Realizing you could disconnect the crystal arrowhead necklace that you got at Ruby Falls during Spring Break, you then replaced the arrowhead with the snake head.

In your own initiative, you had created a cobra head necklace and decided to wear it to school.

As you were leaving that morning for school, I assured you that you’d be the only boy in America to wear a real cobra head necklace to school.

No, this story doesn’t end with me saying that your teacher told you not to wear it to school anymore. You totally got away with wearing the head of a poisonous snake to school.

You came home and bragged to me, “Daddy, on two people thought my cobra snake wasn’t real!”

Coincidentally, just a few days later on Sunday, I had put your sister down for her afternoon nap and decided to take you to play in the creek at Brenthaven in Franklin.

As we were walking across the bridge over the creek, you and I both noticed something we assumed was a rope that had surfaced on a rock, in the middle of the stream.

But as we made our way closer, I announced to you with both caution and joy, “Jack, that’s a real snake!”

I tossed a few pieces of mulch at it- but it never budged. Then I tossed some rocks at it- it still never budged.

Finally, I found a stick long enough to pick it up with. It was obvious the snake was not only dead, but it had been dead there overnight.

You pointed out to me that its tail looked like it had been chewed up. My theory is that a neighborhood dog found the snake and broke its neck by slinging it like a whip, then the snake crawled onto the rock to die.

Turns out, it was either a venomous Cottonmouth or a harmless Brown Watersnake.

But since it was definitely dead, I let you throw rocks at it. I’m pretty sure you’ll remember that day as a highlight of your boyhood.

So yeah, you’re not afraid of snakes.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

5 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Dear Jack,

This past Saturday you and Papa and I had a genuinely great time at my Cousin Jessica’s wedding. It was a once in a lifetime experience you will never forget- I’m sure of it.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Back a couple of months ago when our family was driving back from Atlanta on our first family of road trip as a family of 4, we took a minor detour to go visit my grandparents on Papa’s side. We didn’t know it at the time, but that would be the last time we saw PawPaw Shell on this Earth.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Just a few weeks later, he passed away. You and I attended his funeral as part of our father and son road trip; while Mommy and baby Holly were visiting family in California.

To honor his life, my cousin Jessica had her wedding at PawPaw Shell’s farm in Sale Creek, Tennessee.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

I had never once in my life seen PawPaw wearing anything other than a flannel shirt and a pair of overalls. Never pants, never jeans, never shorts- just overalls. He was even buried in his overalls.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Undeniably, PawPaw Shell was one of the most Southern men I ever knew.

Therefore, for my Cousin Jessica to have a wedding that also honored our grandfather… it had to be unapologetically country. So it was.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

For the music, Jessica’s step-dad pulled up his truck to the barn and rolled down the windows, so everyone could hear the music.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

After the wedding, everyone lined up for the meal, which consisted of potluck. As for Papa and me, we brought the vegan pasta salad that Nonna made. There was also some vegan chili there as well.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

I found a cinder block for you to sit on to eat the mac-and-cheese Nonna packed for you. Had we realized though, mac-and-cheese was actually already a menu item on the barn buffet.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

A popular place to sit during the meal was in the bed of one of the many pick-up trucks there.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

You enjoyed your wedding favor, which was a children’s duck call.

After the meal, we walked down to the pond to go fishing. You had never actually been “real fishing” before, so this was a really big deal for you.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

No one brought bait, so it was a matter of digging for worms and catching grasshoppers…

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

My Cousin Jessica’s son Breyan was able to catch 3 fish right in a row! That was especially amazing, since he explained to me it was his first time fishing.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Unfortunately, you didn’t have such luck. You didn’t catch your first fish, but we will surely try again.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake! w18

As we made our way back to the barn to get you a piece of wedding cake, we saw my Cousin Angie’s son with a ball python around his snake.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake! w20

He explained it was his pet that he’s had for a year and a half. I decided to hold the snake, as I don’t necessarily remember holding one before at any point in my life.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

You decided to pass on the opportunity, which surprised me, since we go to the Repticon reptile show every year.

After we left the wedding, Papa drove us by the famous Spaceship House on Signal Mountain. PawPaw Shell helped build it, back in 1973.

Dear Jack: It’s the Barn Wedding Where You Can Catch a Fish and Hold a Snake!

Though it all may seem like a dream to you now, I promise, it was all real. That all really happened! From the fishing to the snake to the UFO house!

Love,

Daddy

https://familyfriendlydaddyblog.com/2016-lexus-es-300h-father-son-road-trip/

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Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show (Repticon)

5 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Dear Jack,

A year and a half ago your Pre-K teacher at the time, Ms. Aimee, got you interested in live reptiles, as she had them as pets in her classroom. She also informed you of Repticon, the Reptile and Exotic Animal Show that comes to Nashville every year.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

So not only did we take you last year when you got Snakey, your giant red snake, but we also took this year as well. Actually, it was this past weekend.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

It was a family affair; even Baby Holly came along… even though she slept through the entire event.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

While you definitely loved seeing all the live animals, your main incentive to go is knowing that Mommy and I are going to buy you a stuffed animal souvenir. As a family, we went there knowing that was the main agenda.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Though you had been planning on buying a spider and naming her Charlotte, you ended up getting swept away by a giant poison dart frog who you named, of course, Froggy.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Next, as any stereotypical vegan/vegetarian family would do, we had lunch at Whole Foods. Needless to say, Froggy accompanied you.

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Fortunately, there happened to be a special on the sorbet (vegan) and gelato (vegetarian)…

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

The afternoon, you and I went to the movies for “boy time” as Mommy puts it. We decided to dress up in our matching tuxedo t-shirts.

Obviously, you took Froggy with us to the movies. After the show, as we were walking out of the room where our movie was show, a lady approached me:

“Excuse me, my granddaughters are dying to know where your son got that frog. Would you mind telling me where you found that?”

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

Imagine that. You aren’t the only kid who that it would be cool to get a giant poison dart frog.

That night, you found a clear Tupperware container big enough to hold Froggy in, as you had seen the frogs at Repticon, and then attempted to place the whole thing in the bed with you.

But by the time I came to check on you later that night, you decided she was cozier to sleep with outside of her container.

I guess real poison dart frogs prefer a clear container, but the stuffed animal version prefers a soft bed and a young child.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Your Giant Poison Dart Frog from the Nashville Reptile Show

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Dear Jack: Snakey Goes To Church/Proposal To Get A Pet Vulture

4 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack: Snakey Goes To Church/Proposal To Get A Pet Vulture

Dear Jack,

I would like to believe that at our church, everyone is welcome. That definitely was the case last Sunday when you brought Snakey to church.

You kept him in a blue bag you had received from having your 4th birthday party at Bricks 4 Kidz. Mommy carried you… and you carried Snakey.

I caught several people cracking smiles as they saw you in the hall with Snakey. It’s just not what most people were expecting at 8:00 AM on Sunday morning.

Dear Jack: Snakey Goes To Church/Proposal To Get A Pet Vulture

Everyone was pleasantly surprised to see your new reptile friend, as snakes typically don’t make an appearance at our church.

What made it great was how proud you were to introduce Snakey to everyone as we made our way through our shopping mall-sized church.

Dear Jack: Snakey Goes To Church/Proposal To Get A Pet Vulture

Of course, Snakey had to stay up on the shelf during the School School lesson, during which you made a craft about a camel passing through the eye of a needle.

As much as you love Snakey, you told Mommy in the car ride home from church that you wouldn’t want a real snake for a pet.

However, you offered up a reasonable alternative…

Dear Jack: Snakey Goes To Church/Proposal To Get A Pet Vulture

“Mommy, I could get a pet vulture. But we would have to let him out of the house during the day so he could fly around to find his own food.”

Ultimately, the only concern with keeping a vulture for a pet is apparently feeding it. But you also stated you wouldn’t want to keep your pet vulture in your room.

This might be a bit problematic if we are to consider getting you a pet vulture.

I think Snakey is a better pet though. You already explained to us that Snakey is a vegetarian snake. That makes him a lot easier to feed and a lot less trouble than a vulture you have to let out every day.

Love,

Daddy