“We Had a Good Run” – Song 13 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

Published on April 8th, 2020, this was the first song I wrote because of The Covid Shutdown.

As an Enneagram 6, I am always preparing for what might go wrong. So you can imagine, it was important for me to mentally process never seeing members of my family again.

Specifically, this song was about me sorting out my feelings about my parents; who live about 3 hours away. Keep in mind, this was written at the beginning of The Covid Shutdown; before most people I knew actually starting getting Covid- and way before there was a vaccine available.

It is obviously the greatest understatement to tell your parents, “I don’t want you to die.”

So instead, I wrote this song about my life alongside them; not knowing what was ahead.

As you read the lyrics, notice the end of the song, where I officially switch over to the “Counterphobic 6” mindset:

If this is my final chance to say the things I haven’t yet – I would choose you every time if I could live a thousand lives – You loved me when I was young before I was who I’ve become – When this is all said and done, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – We had a good run, I don’t want to see the ending – We had a good run, I don’t want a new beginning – Hold on, hold on, hold on to me – I can’t let go, no – We had a good run – I’ll see you on other side, whatever Heaven ends up like – I’ll find you somewhere in that crowd, whatever we both look like now – And if we can remember back, back to all the years we had – We’ll pick up where things left off, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – I must have been built for the Apocalypse – I don’t feel anxious or too worried about this – I’d rather us all go at the exact same time – Than to be left behind and have to say goodbye

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

“Shotgun” – Song 11 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 11th song, “Shotgun”, was the first released during The Covid Lockdown; on March 20th, 2020. Perhaps I started becoming more inspired to write about my relationship with my wife during this time. In fact, I pitched this song to her, as a duet. But she decided she wanted me to do this one alone.

“Shotgun” is a song I wrote to point out the near absurdity in betting the rest of your life on spending it with another person… for better and for worse.

I chose the term “shotgun” in connection of the phrase “shotgun wedding”. Even though my wife and I didn’t have a rushed wedding, in the grand scheme of things, it can still seem that way to some degree:

Know a person for a year or so, and then you take one “shot” on them by choosing to commit your life to them; hoping the other person is as committed as you are, no matter what lies ahead.

As an Enneagram 6, I am wired to crave and to provide stability and security. These lyrics show a glimpse into the way I arguably “overthink” every situation:

“I’ve got my finger on the trigger, but just one bullet in the chamber – For better or for worse, forever – Until death do we part – Staring down the barrel of a shotgun against my shoulder – Praying that I’m solid in my aim – I can’t afford to miss it, either it is or isn’t – Neither of us will ever be the same – Best case scenario, we both grow old until one of us dies and leaves the other all alone – Happily ever after, celebrations and disasters – Sweet and sour, I ain’t going nowhere – Anti-climatic, existential crisis, comic, tragic – Why are we still here? I don’t have all the answers but I’ve made my peace with God – I’m taking you with me into the great beyond – Hallelujah”

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

Dear Jack: Teaching You to Beat Me at Monopoly

10 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

This holiday season, I have officially introduced you to the classic board game of Monopoly. Sure, we’ve always owned a set at our house, but it’s simply served as an easy way for you and your sister to keep each other entertained when Mommy and I need to get work done.

Prime example: When the Covid shutdown happened earlier this year.

But I decided to spend some of my own money on a nice Monopoly set for us to actually play together, by the rules.

It is no surprise to me that I’ve only beat you at Monopoly once so far.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Like Pretending to Be a School Teacher While Mommy is Working

4 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

Sometimes, we keep you home from preschool and let you hang out with Mommy and me as we work.

It’s amazing how truly independent you work; really not needy at all.

Instead, you specifically like to pretend to be a teacher, as you teach your baby dolls.

You also like pretending to type on your “computer”, which is actually whatever magazine happens to be lying around.

I suppose that being part of the “Covid Kid’ generation means that you are accustomed to entertaining yourself while your parents continue to do their jobs in the same room as you!

Love,

Daddy

Selfishly, I Admit, My Qualify of Life Has Improved Since COVID-19 Culture Began

I suppose it’s social media heresy in 2020 to admit this, but despite how weird the year has been for the entire world, my personal sense of well-being has undeniably improved since March, when the Powers That Be changed all the rules changed on how we are supposed to live our lives:

For me, it’s been more quality time with my family, an hour at the gym every morning instead of driving to work, and better efficiency at my job because I am not limited by the distractions of working in a real office… just to name the first obvious improvements that come to mind.

Yes, I recognize COVID-19 is a serious issue that has unfortunately taken the lives of thousands of people in the world this year; like heart disease, cancer, fatal accidents, diabetes, and suicide.

But I have refused to live in fear. Yes, I always wear a mask whenever I am required to. No, I never wear a mask when I am not required to.

I am one of those people who has a hunch that Covid will quietly fade away shortly after the upcoming Presidential election; this especially became apparent to me when public protests became popular during what seemed the most otherwise unlikeliest time. (No, I am not a Republican.)

This is a concept I wrote into one of the songs I wrote this year: “We all need therapy/Everything’s so tense/No hugs allowed anymore but it’s okay to protest…”

Just a few weeks into this pandemic, I was informed that I was being placed on furlough at my job, due to the government’s warnings about social distancing. While this news was disappointing, there was no interruption of cash flow, thanks to the unemployment checks that came seamlessly rolling in during those 6 weeks.

Back in January, we had already planned a vacation to Florida for July. We still took our trip and in no way did COVID-19 interrupt any of our planned activities.

Right after we got back from our vacation, I was able to start back to work again- but this time, exclusively working from home.

I work in Recruiting, which is like the sales division of HR. My job efficiency is very easy to track, as I have a certain minimum number of hires to make each month.

Since exclusively working from home, I have been able to easily exceed my monthly quota. Yes, I have put in more hours working from home than I would have at the office, but also haven’t had to deal with arbitrary stress of driving a total of nearly 2 hours to work each day.

Now, during the same time every morning when I would be driving to work (which inevitably created stress), I instead head to the gym for an hour (which relieves stress).

I am aware of the paradox in which the government, major news outlets, and much of social media tells me to fear COVID-19 and turn my life into a sanitarium; meanwhile, I see the same group of dozens of people at the gym every morning, six days a week.

No one at my gym wears a mask; nor ever has. None of us have ever shown symptoms of Covid. The only reason any of us don’t show up for a week at a time is to go on vacation.

My gym, in theory, is a perfect Petri dish; as is my daughter’s pre-school, which has remained open this entire time.

A couple of weeks ago, it was retroactively confirmed (with a valid medical test costing $80 per person) that multiple people whom my family interacted with back in May, had Covid at the time. We hugged these people, we shared meals with this people, and we were exposed in close living quarters with them for many days. None of us were wearing masks at any point.

I would suppose it would be miraculous if all 4 members of my family didn’t contract COVID-19, knowing that.

Most likely, we “had Covid” back in late May or early June. Indeed, I am very grateful that my family has the genes and immune system that allow us to be asymptomatic.

But even if, against the odds of science, I have not yet had Covid pass through my system, I still have no motivation to fear Covid.

I would rather enjoy the rest of my life, whether I have one more month left or 39 more years left, spending quality time with the people I love most.

And this has definitely been the year of quality time with family!

While I was on furlough from my job, I was able to spend the entire day with both of my kids; seven days a week.

Even when so much of the world was closed down, we took the Jeep out on dirt roads in no name towns.

I don’t fear Covid.

I have a more legitimate fear of randomly dying in my asleep every night when I lie down in bed each night.

Keep in my mind, I am a 39 year-old man who had a pre-existing existential crisis before all this happened. Really, if anything, Covid Culture has given me an even stronger sense of purpose and appreciation of life.

But, maybe I am nothing more than the exception to the rule.