“Shotgun” – Song 11 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 11th song, “Shotgun”, was the first released during The Covid Lockdown; on March 20th, 2020. Perhaps I started becoming more inspired to write about my relationship with my wife during this time. In fact, I pitched this song to her, as a duet. But she decided she wanted me to do this one alone.

“Shotgun” is a song I wrote to point out the near absurdity in betting the rest of your life on spending it with another person… for better and for worse.

I chose the term “shotgun” in connection of the phrase “shotgun wedding”. Even though my wife and I didn’t have a rushed wedding, in the grand scheme of things, it can still seem that way to some degree:

Know a person for a year or so, and then you take one “shot” on them by choosing to commit your life to them; hoping the other person is as committed as you are, no matter what lies ahead.

As an Enneagram 6, I am wired to crave and to provide stability and security. These lyrics show a glimpse into the way I arguably “overthink” every situation:

“I’ve got my finger on the trigger, but just one bullet in the chamber – For better or for worse, forever – Until death do we part – Staring down the barrel of a shotgun against my shoulder – Praying that I’m solid in my aim – I can’t afford to miss it, either it is or isn’t – Neither of us will ever be the same – Best case scenario, we both grow old until one of us dies and leaves the other all alone – Happily ever after, celebrations and disasters – Sweet and sour, I ain’t going nowhere – Anti-climatic, existential crisis, comic, tragic – Why are we still here? I don’t have all the answers but I’ve made my peace with God – I’m taking you with me into the great beyond – Hallelujah”

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

“Tripping on Existence” – Song 2 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

In my 2nd song, we see an official embracing of the “counterphobic” aspect of my Enneagram 6 personality; identifying as a person who faces my fears, instead of running from them. Specifically, I am disassociating myself from the general population of people who I realized I no longer needed to give my time, energy, money, emotions, and attention to.

It was me officially and knowingly beginning my journey of emotional intelligence.

I recorded this song on October 28th, 2019. At that point in my life, both my salary and my wife’s had doubled; as we had both began working at different employers.

We had recently paid off all our debts and moved into a brand-new, bigger house in the perfect neighborhood. For the first time in my marriage and career, we were not in debt.

These events triggered an “existential crisis”, which I am still working through. Since then, I have felt like I suddenly climbed to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid.

Granted, much of my identity will always be wrapped up in “love/belonging”. But ultimately, I have been living in the “self-actualization” phase for a few years now.

The lyrics of “Tripping on Existence” serve as a clear realization of my sudden introduction of my existential crisis- or as some would say, “mid-life crisis”:

“Hi, I don’t care, thanks – I unplugged from existence, at least the version from before – I switched of the breaker – I don’t care if I’m hated, or even worse ignored – I wish I was here – I’ve been gone too long, I’ve begun to disappear – I can’t relate – I’ve seen too much, this is my escape – The best way to explain this: I’m tripping on existence – A dream inside a dream – An alternate dimension – I guess that I should mention – You can borrow my spare key – I am phoning home – But years have passed, now the number’s changed – So what happens next? Expect a reboot, then get born again”

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly 4 years ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

“Maybe It’s a Dream” – Song 1 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

Since 2014, I have written over 60 songs that I have published on my YouTube channel.

This past year, I dove deep into understanding myself better than I ever have before. I became certified as an Enneagram coach, which has ultimately been my own personal equivalent of experimenting with a revealing psychedelic like ayahuasca.

I am officially a Counterphobic Enneagram 6 Wing 7, Sexual/Social Subtype.

Ultimately, here’s the breakdown: I find meaning in life by seeking security through building and maintaining relationships with people; which ultimately makes me feel like I exist. I am constantly looking for what might go wrong with the situation, so that I can either prevent it, or go down with the ship and learn from it. And despite living in constant anxiety, I face my fears head on. I am the loyal skeptic, which is ultimately a paradox: Both an introvert and extrovert; both a pessimist and an optimist.

So in addition to now understanding my fundamental psychological operating system, there is also the fact that when I write a new song, it draws out of me, subconscious thoughts I am often not aware of.

I am excited and curious to start turning my lyrics inside out. Let’s start with the very first song I published on my YouTube channel: “Maybe It’s a Dream.”

I originally wrote it on January 11th, 2014; when I was 33 years old. However, I didn’t actually record it until April 16th, 2018; just 4 days before my 37th birthday. (I’m 41 now.)

In hindsight, I don’t like the way I performed this song. The key is too low and I over-pronounce the words.

But ultimately, through this new series of unpacking the psychology of all the songs I’ve written, one by one, I want to finally focus on the true poetry of my lyrics, as opposed to simply the musical aspect.

Here are the lyrics to “Maybe It’s a Dream”:

I am a skeleton with meat on my bones – I walk around with secrets nobody knows – I am a figment of my own imagination, I bet – It’s all, it’s all, in my head – Seven billion people ride a planet that spins – A thousand miles an hour and I’m just one of them – Another stranger who’s no stranger than all the rest – It’s all, it’s all, in my head – It feels like no one knows me anymore – And I start to think that I’m safer when ignored – My head’s in the clouds but my feet are on the ground – So tell me now, where can I be found? It’s like a dream where I can’t stop falling from the bottom to the top – Maybe it’s a dream where I’m drowning out a sea – I’m coming up for air – But is this even real? My thoughts are captive and I’ve swallowed the key – I’ve locked myself out of the world so it seems – My perspective of reality will die with me – It’s all, it’s all make believe – With these distractions it’s so hard to exist – It’s survival of the mentally fittest – I’m still standing here so I guess I know that this means – It’s all, it’s all in my head 

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly a decade ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish: