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Leave a comment Posted on Enneagram, poetry, songwriter, songwriting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

“We Had a Good Run” – Song 13 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

Published on April 8th, 2020, this was the first song I wrote because of The Covid Shutdown.

As an Enneagram 6, I am always preparing for what might go wrong. So you can imagine, it was important for me to mentally process never seeing members of my family again.

Specifically, this song was about me sorting out my feelings about my parents; who live about 3 hours away. Keep in mind, this was written at the beginning of The Covid Shutdown; before most people I knew actually starting getting Covid- and way before there was a vaccine available.

It is obviously the greatest understatement to tell your parents, “I don’t want you to die.”

So instead, I wrote this song about my life alongside them; not knowing what was ahead.

As you read the lyrics, notice the end of the song, where I officially switch over to the “Counterphobic 6” mindset:

If this is my final chance to say the things I haven’t yet – I would choose you every time if I could live a thousand lives – You loved me when I was young before I was who I’ve become – When this is all said and done, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – We had a good run, I don’t want to see the ending – We had a good run, I don’t want a new beginning – Hold on, hold on, hold on to me – I can’t let go, no – We had a good run – I’ll see you on other side, whatever Heaven ends up like – I’ll find you somewhere in that crowd, whatever we both look like now – And if we can remember back, back to all the years we had – We’ll pick up where things left off, all I know is we had a good run – We had a good run – I must have been built for the Apocalypse – I don’t feel anxious or too worried about this – I’d rather us all go at the exact same time – Than to be left behind and have to say goodbye

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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3 Experiences to Share With Your Kids in Syracuse 

By guest blogger Eathen Smith, as part of the sponsored Hotel Planner campaign.

Syracuse is a well-known family-friendly destination located in Upstate New York. There is so much to discover here. The accessibility of the city is perfect for families with young kids seeking conveniently located hotels near attractions and places to visit. Syracuse has a diverse cultural mix, and families describe the mix of people and general atmosphere as warm and welcoming.

Green spaces and historic architecture complement the people. Children can experience wonder, creativity, learning, and just plain fun in a hassle-free and convenient environment. Experience a taste of what Syracuse has to offer by choosing some family-friendly ways to see the city.

Something Unique for Everyone at Rosamond Gifford Zoo

Children have many opportunities to be connected to the wildlife and educational experiences offered by the Rosamond Gifford Zoo. Elephants, penguins, tigers, and all kinds of marine life will delight kids of all ages. The zoo offers birthday parties with catering, crafts, games, and admission all included.

The Rosamond Gifford Zoo also features many upcoming events such as Under the Sea Day. Ocean themed games and fun activities like a bouncing castle are all part of the fun. Conservation themed events are also held regularly during the year. Members are also offered a number of free or discounted events.

Family Friendly Festival and Events.

There are also many different festivals and events to put on the kid’s to-do list during the calendar year. Syracuse is named the City of Festivals for good reason. Family-friendly events such and the Great New York State Fair include rides, music, livestock competitions, and animals for all ages. The festival runs from the second last week of August through to early September. There are also Greek, Italian, Irish, and Scottish Festivals held yearly. A range of different kid-friendly activities and delicious foods for the whole family can be found at all the festivals mentioned.

Walking With Kid Convenience

Sensational Syracuse is responsible for the maintenance of over 1000 acres of open space including parks, swimming pools, and, ice rinks. For visitors on a tight schedule or budget, it is highly recommended to check out some of the convenient walking tours offered throughout the city.

The Onondaga Historical Association offers a map of the Syracuse Historic Walking Tour. Over 70 historical attractions are shown on the map and tours can be started or finished at any point. This is perfect for just choosing a few sights that are of interest to the children. There are plenty of hotels in Syracuse located in close proximity to the tour. Public transport or a taxi can do the rest.

Why choose Syracuse? It is easy, fun and perfect for all ages. Hotels are plentiful and can be found for every budget making it a convenient destination. It has the perfect mix of free and paid events sure to pique the interest of children of all ages. Festivals, attractions, history, green space, architecture, education, and lots of fun are all a possibility in Syracuse. 

Image via Flickr by vastateparkstaff

2 Comments Posted on fatherhood, marriage, parenting, People, Recaps, spanking, Storytelling, Uncategorized, vegan

Millennial Parents Respond to Mayim Bialik’s “Competitive Moms” Story

My wife and I recently published a video for our YouTube channel for this blog, giving our reaction to Mayim Bialik’s story on People.com, called Mayim Bialik Reveals She “Left in Tears” After First Group Meeting with “Competitive Moms”.

Her story addresses the fact that Millennials live in a version of the world in which so many parents feel the need to compete with one another. This creates an environment in which those who are not “competing” often feel judged by those who are.

In our own video responding to the story, I explained that the real issue with parents who feel the need to compete with others in their parenting style and skills is this:

They are insecure in their identity not only as individuals, but as parents.

It goes back to junior high when I learned this from my mom; that the kids who were most likely to tease others were simply revealing that they were actually more insecure than the kids they were making fun of.

And now as adults, this same concept continues:

The most insecure parents have the biggest need to project an image of themselves as the “better” parents. And sure, social media helps encourage the competition.

“Mirror, mirror, on my Facebook wall, who’s the fairest parent of them all?”

People tend to seek confirmation when they communicate in social media. They are often seeking approval from their peers to confirm that they are cool, they are funny, they are beautiful, they are relevant, and/or they are good parents.

But what if you simply don’t that need confirmation and therefore, you have no reason to compete?

Insecure parents compete with other another, while slightly clueless yet confident parents ignore the competition all together.

In our video, my wife and I explain that none of us parents truly know what we’re doing. We can’t.

I explain that if you are competing with other parents, you are automatically losing that competition. The only way to “win” is not to play at all.

Instead, all we can do is the best we know how and hope it works out in the end. But as we “practice” parenting, the last thing we should worry about is some silly ongoing competition on the best way to parent.

I explain that while all of us are clueless to some degree, we can still show we are secure in our own identity as individuals and as parents by simply accepting that our own parenting methods are no better than others’, and therefore, we have no reason to seek confirmation or approval in a competition, or to judge other parents for making different decisions than us.

For example, my wife and I do not spank our children. We discipline them, but we have never physically struck them. That’s the culture in our household.

However, that doesn’t mean we have any interest in judging parents who do spank their children. After all, my wife and I are in the minority in this.

Similarly, we have no desire to judge other parents for what they let their children eat. Yes, I am a vegan and my wife and children are vegetarians. But that doesn’t mean we believe everyone should do as we do. We simply don’t care.

Let other people live their own lives. As for us, we’ll live our own. It’s that simple.

When you are focused on doing what is right for your own family, how can you have time to worry about whether other parents are doing it better or worse than you?

My wife and I definitely do not have it all figured out. We never will. We automatically disqualify ourselves from the competition.

You’re more than welcome to join us.

2 Comments Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Bear Hugs with Papa at Thanksgiving

1 year, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

In the midst of the four days we spent at Nonna and Papa’s house in Alabama for Thanksgiving, one afternoon you decided to just lay low with Papa on the couch.

You had discovered the giant D.A.R.E. teddy bear wearing a Domino’s Pizza uniform. (Your Aunt Dana won it back in the early 1990s when she was the winner of a coloring contest.)

The bear hugs started with Papa pretending the bear was attacking you, but it didn’t take long before the look on your face gave it away: You were almost tired enough to take a nap.

So after one of the many times the bear jumped on top of you, smashing you in between Papa and the bear, you decided just to take advantage of the situation by cuddling up to both of them.

I actually started wondering if at some point you would just fall asleep, resting your little head on the giant bear’s shoulder. For anyone walking by you in the living room, there was an unspoken level of respect:

Just let Holly hang out with Papa and the bear.

Had this all happened a little earlier in the day, it could have been a 20 minute wrestling match with the bear; making its way all the way to the floor.

But no.

Your vibes attract your tribe. Therefore, you defeated the giant bear though cuddles alone.

Sometimes the best way to win a fight is with a big hug.

The bear was no match for your sweetness.

And not only did you win the fight against the bear, but you also won the fight against giving me a reason to take you upstairs for your afternoon nap.

Enough chill time was had with Papa and the bear, so I just let serve as your 2nd nap that day.

Love,

Daddy

 

3 Comments Posted on car reviews, fatherhood, parenting, People, Uncategorized

2017 Toyota 4Runner 3rd Seat Space and Car Seat Placement (Videos Included)

This past weekend while my parents were in town, everyone was able to comfortably ride in the 2017 Toyota 4Runner: that’s 4 adults and 2 kids- we even had room for one more person!

I drove, my wife sat shotgun, our daughter sat behind me, my mom sat next to her (with an empty seat between), and then in the 3rd row seat, there was our son and my 5’ 11” dad.

So to be clear, there are 2 seats in the front row, 3 in the 2nd row, and 2 in the back; which totals 7 seats.

If you had to, you could actually fit 4 kids’ car seats in the 2017 Toyota 4Runner; parents up front, younger kids in the 2nd row, and older kids in the 3rd row.

Let’s talk a little bit more about the space in the 3rd row. I’m 5’ 9” and my dad is 2 inches taller than me. We both, at times, rode in the 3rd row seat.

 

We were just riding around town so it wasn’t a big deal. But obviously, it’s not something an average-sized full grown adult would want to do for a long ride-trip.

It’s that paradox where if I sat up straight in the 3rd row seat, I would have to sort of tilt my head forward, but if I slouched down in the seat, my knees would hit the back of the 2nd row seat.

 

However, I would imagine that for a long road trip, the largest riders would likely also most likely be the ones driving or riding shotgun to begin with.

Obviously though, a 5’ 2” female adult would likely have no issues whatsoever fitting in the 3rd row seat.

 

I am so grateful that I just happened to have the 2017 Toyota 4Runner the weekend my parents were in town. It was no problem hauling everyone around in it.

Thanks for checking out my blog today!