Helping Your Partner Get Better Sleep: 3 Tips for New Dads

By Guest Blogger, Sarah Cummings of The Sleep Advisor

New dads, like it or not, for the first few weeks, months, even years of your new child’s life you’re often going to feel a little bit useless.

No matter how committed you are to the idea of being a modern father there are just some things mom is going to do be able to do better. Sorry!

Feelings of inadequacy might start from the beginning. Afterall your partner has just spent the last nine months amazingly growing an entirely new life inside her – before dramatically squeezing it out in frankly a horrendously painful process!

Yes, I know you were there holding her hand but still, it’s not quit the same is it?

Secondly, unequal pay and antiquated attitudes toward parental leave in most countries mean it is still generally financially sensible for mom to take time of work than dad. So even if you want to be the one who stays at home it might not make sense.

Despite these two handicaps, for the sake of your new child, your partner’s health and the health of your relationship, it’s up to you to step up to the plate and hit being a father out of the park.

In my experience as a mother of two, the best way you can help your partner be the very best new mom she can be, is to ensure she gets as much rest as possible. Obviously that’s easier said than done with a newborn demanding their almost constant attention. With that in mind however here are 3 tips to help your partner get better sleep…

  1. Dad, don’t fear the feed!

Just because your partner has the natural advantage over you with her chest mounted milk machines doesn’t mean she should automatically bear the brunt of the late night feeds. That excuse died out a long long ago. Around the time breast pumps, bottles and fridges were invented.

Being able to store breast milk for use later means you menfolk have no excuse for avoiding the 3am summons for sustenance from the crib next door.

But what if you have to be work early in the morning? Well, I’m sorry to say that so does your partner. Looking after a newborn is far more tasking than any spreadsheet you may have to face in the office.

Don’t look at nightfeeds as a chore, taking on this responsibility will allow you to develop a far stronger bond with your little one. For years dad’s have been lamenting a feeling of inadequacy that often comes with being the father of a newborn, in my experience this is because too many men fail to be proactive.

Taking control, or at the very least taking on an equal share, of the the nightfeed, will provide your partner with much needed extra time in bed and give you one-on-one time to bond with your new child. A win-win!

  1. Learn to give a great massage

This one is self-explanatory. The best present my partner ever gave me, apart from buying me a new bed, was taking a massage course in secret. A fifteen minute shoulder massage by someone who truly knows what they are doing can really take the edge of even the most stressful day as a new mom and can put you in the perfect mood for sleep.

  1. Take care of the 3 Cs

Being able to take care of the 3 Cs is going to reduce your partner’s workload by a massive amount and will go along way to ensuring she isn’t frazzled by the time they her head hits the pillow. But what exactly are the 3 Cs…

Cooking: Taking care of cooking for the family is a massive responsibility and unfortunately in all too many households this burden still falls on the mother. I know times have moved on and menfolk no longer expect to come home to find a meal in the oven waiting for them, which is great. Yet too many men I know seem to think that cooking once or twice a week is something to brag about. It’s not! Get cooking boys.

Rule of thumb: Dad’s if you’re able to remember all the meals you have cooked in the last month, then you aren’t cooking enough.

Cleaning: Dads, making sure you haven’t peed on the seat and that your dirty clothes are in the washing hamper is not the same as keeping the house clean. With a newborn on the scene the demands of keeping a household clean and tidy are going to rise dramatically and you are going to have to pull your weight. Taking on the cleaning is an easy win for fathers, put you your headphones, listen to a podcast and kill that dirt.

Cuddling: There is a pressure in modern society for new moms to be superhuman, that is to take care of the household, children and doing it all while looking amazing and showing no emotion. This so-called ‘supermom’ image is a harmful and unrealistic fallacy in my opinion.

Being a new mom is likely the toughest thing your partner will have likely ever done, it is up to you to let her know being emotional is ok. The first thing you do every time you see her is ask…“do you need a hug?”

Well, there you have it – three top tips to help your partner get more sleep. Believe me she is going to need it! Good luck.

 Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash

SEO Spotlight Guest Blog Post: Review of Baltic Amber Necklaces for Teething Babies, by Baltic Wonder

DISCLOSURE LANGUAGE

Baltic Wonder sponsored and wrote this article; I received compensation for my time and platform. They did not tell me what to purchase or what to say about any product mentioned in these posts. Baltic Wonder believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Baltic Wonder’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, FTC guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.

Since I really can’t do an honest review of an amber necklace unless I actually use it, I decided to go through with it. I researched Baltic Amber and how to get an authentic one, and then bought one.

When it arrived, I was still skeptical but excited to see if what the natural mamas have been raving about was true. As luck would have it, my baby was just getting a bit fussy again after her last round of teeth cutting. It was the perfect time.

I put the necklace around Julie’s neck. I watched her to see what she did and really she didn’t notice there was anything on there. She went on her way to play with her push rocket.

It wasn’t too long after that she started to fuss. I knew it had to be the teething because her face was getting red and her temp was 99.5.

I immediately thought that the necklace wasn’t working and I should just take it off. I stopped myself though. I figured it wasn’t doing any harm and well, I should give it a good amount of time, so I can give it a chance.

As the day went on, Julie was o.k. She had the mild temperature and some fussiness, but it wasn’t anything as bad as it was the last round. At the end of the day before bedtime, I took the necklace off.

In the morning, I put the necklace back on her. Her temperature was gone, and she slept through the night. That was nice, but since I took the necklace off, I didn’t attribute her good night to it. It was just a coincidence…. Or was it?

Julie wore her Baltic amber necklace all day and again, didn’t even notice it was on her. She was calm all day and ate pretty well. When I woke up the next morning, after another nice night, I looked in her mouth. There was another tooth coming through!

Before jumping to conclusions, I had to try the amber necklace again through a teething phase. Instead of waiting for when she started a mild fever again, I just kept putting the necklace on every morning. It’s been a year since I first put the necklace on her, and we’ve never had a problem with teething. She almost has a mouth full now, and I honestly believe that our easy time through teething is because of the amber necklace.

SEO Spotlight: Review of Baltic Amber Necklaces for Teething Babies from Real Baltic Wonder

How Baltic Amber Necklaces Work

It may be too good to believe, but you might as well try it for yourself to see if it works. It won’t harm baby, and you never know, it may actually work.

Baltic amber teething necklaces are made out of fossilized tree resin. This resin has Succinic Acid, which is an oil that has been used to treat many illnesses and boost immunity. Colds, fevers, inflammation, headaches, and pain have all been relieved with amber for centuries in Europe and the Middle East.

When a baby wears the necklace around her neck, the body warms the beads, and this releases the oil onto the skin. It then seeps through the skin and goes right into the bloodstream to do its magic.

What’s important is that you purchase an authentic amber necklace. The amber beads need to be high quality, or it won’t have enough of the treatment oil to help. The best beads come from the Baltic areas of the world, such as Lithuania. It’s where the beads for my necklace were sourced, and it worked for me, so I would recommend that as a reliable location for authentic amber beads.

If you’ve used amber necklaces, comment below to let me know how you like them. If you haven’t and end up trying it because of this review, come back and let me know if it worked for you. It’s always great to see mamas come together and help one another with all of the baby stages that can be a real struggle sometimes.

* We are giving away 10 Baltic Amber Teething Necklaces to 10 random users. To be a part of the giveaway you must:

· Follow us on Instagram @realbalticwonder

· Make a comment on the posted blog.

· Make a comment on the following picture of our Instagram:

Dear Holly: Your 1 Year Check Up Results from the Doctor- 60th Percentile for Height, 16th for Weight

1 year.

Dear Holly,

For the first two years of his life, your brother was a very husky boy.

Obviously, he grew out of his “baby body suit” around the age of 3, and now the word “husky” could no longer be used to describe him.

But as for you, you’ve just always been a light little girl. Even when Mommy was pregnant with you, there was some concern from the nurses that you wouldn’t weigh enough. It all worked out, though, since you were born weighing 7 pounds, 5 ounces.

Last week Mommy took you to your 1 year check-up at the doctor’s office. You are currently in the 60th percentile for height and the 16th percentile for weight.

As I look at you in these pictures, I see a little China doll. Well actually, with your complexion, you’re more like a Norwegian doll.

This past weekend while we were at a birthday party for one of your brother’s classmates, I took a couple of pictures of you playing. In one of them, you have this look on your face that seems to imply, “Whew… I didn’t know being so cute all day long would be so exhausting!”

I see you as delicate; yet strong, curious, and determined.

You look just as cute with an actual girls’ doll as you do with one of your brother’s Pickachu stuffed animals.

Mommy and I are now transitioning you that much more off of formula and onto cow’s milk and solid foods.

Oh, and we’ve got you wearing shoes now. You’ve been a barefoot baby up until this point.

After all, you’re learning to walk. You’re on the move. You need to have cute little girly shoes for that.

Also, Mommy and I are starting to see your two top teeth come in. You love munching on Cheerios.

I am watching you transition from baby to little girl.

And I love it.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Daddy’s Phone is Your Holy Grail

8 months.

Dear Holly: Daddy’s Phone is Your Holy Grail

Dear Holly,

Coming out of the Christmas season, you have plenty of cute toys for a little girl your age. And it’s not that you don’t appreciate what you have, it’s just now that you crawl around any chance you get, you suddenly have the ability to stake out that most fascinating toy of all… my phone.

As I lay down on my side next to you as you’re playing, you get this sneaky look on your face. Then you pull yourself up on my hip, as to sort of look over the “fence”, in an attempt to scope out that magical toy you know is laying on the carpet a few feet behind me.

At this point, you instantly gain more than enough confidence in yourself- you suddenly hoist yourself over me, face first, onto the other side. It looks awkward and painful.

But for you, it’s worth it.

Dear Holly: Daddy’s Phone is Your Holy Grail

By the time I turn my body over to face you, it’s too late.

The smile on your face says it all.

No, this isn’t one of your plastic toy phones. This is Daddy’s phone. This is your equivalent of the Holy Grail.

Granted, I always know what you’re doing from the moment I see that sneaky look of yours. I just let it happen. I enjoy watching you work so hard for something that gives you so much joy.

It’s as if you think I didn’t see you find my phone, so then you try to hide it to try to save it for later, like a hidden treasure. Your current go-to hiding spot for my phone is under the rug in the guest bathroom.

You’ve yet to turn my phone settings to Spanish or call someone I barely remember who still happens to be saved in my contacts.

Even at just 8 months old, you know my phone is off-limits and against the rules. Therefore, nothing is more alluring!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You are Pulling Yourself Up on Furniture/Puppy Mode

8 months.

Dear Holly: You are Pulling Yourself Up on Furniture/Puppy Mode

Dear Holly,

You are officially in puppy mode. That’s right- with your newfound curiosity now that you’ve learned to crawl, having you around the house is like having a cute little puppy among us.

I’ll be on the floor, playing with you, and then you’ll suddenly start crawling to the kitchen to follow Mommy around as she prepares dinner. You often just like to hang out near her feet…. like a puppy. I always warn her you’re there so she doesn’t step on you.

But right now your favorite thing to do is to crawl over to something you can use to pull yourself up on. You are always so proud of yourself once you are standing up. I can tell that you instinctively know what a big accomplishment it is!

It’s exciting to see how you’re just naturally wired to tackle whatever the next physical challenge is. It’s not like I’m reading articles online to help prepare you for the upcoming stage.

Instead, you just go ahead and get started on it; like it’s no big deal. I love your initiative!

Dear Holly: You are Pulling Yourself Up on Furniture/Puppy Mode

You only recently learned to crawl. It didn’t take long at all before you decided you were capable of more. Now here we are on the pulling up stage, which will lead to the standing up stage, and then the walking stage.

No, I’m not rushing you along in the process of growing up. But… I do admit, I’m looking forward to you turning 1 year old in April. By then, I predict you’ll reach a comfortable balance of increased physical mobility and a dependence more on solid foods (which means we get to save all that money we’ve been spending on formula- not to mention, having to clean all those bottles!), but you’ll still be in baby mode.

Or puppy mode…

Love, Daddy

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

8 months.

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

Dear Holly,

With all the Christmas music I’ve been hearing for the past month, I realized just how Christmas-themed your name is. It’s hard to find a song without either the word “holly” or “joy” in it. I suppose it will always be too tempting for Mommy and me to say “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” on our Christmas cards.

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

However, it would be difficult to fit your brother into that theme, as Jack has more of a natural Halloween theme.

Your brother’s first Christmas, 6 years ago, was filled with snow. However, yours was sunny and in the lower 70’s. And obviously you were more aware of what was going on for your first Christmas, as you turned 8 months old on Christmas Eve; whereas your brother was only a month old on his first Christmas.

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

Therefore, you weren’t simply a newborn baby who was completely unaware of the glory of Christmas. Instead, you were a very aware little girl who learned to crawl just in time for extra fun!

While your brother obviously helped you unwrap your gifts, and took pride in doing so, you undeniably loved being able to savor the surprise of each new gift box that was placed in front of you.

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One) h6

The main gift Mommy and I bought you is a ball pit just big enough for you for play in. We also got you a picnic play set as well.

You loved all your gifts. I’m really looking forward to helping you play with them; especially as Mommy prepares dinner each evening while my role is to entertain you.

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

I know that you can be just as easily occupied by playing with a Rubbermaid container on the kitchen floor. I realize and admit that so much of the fun of giving an 8 month-old little girl an array of age-appropriate toys for Christmas is getting to see your cute reactions to them.

But I’m okay with that.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Your 1st Christmas (A Very Warm One)

Dear Holly: A Weekend of Crawling, Pink Eye, and Getting Your Picture Taken with Santa

7 months.

Dear Holly: A Weekend of Crawling, Pink Eye, and Getting Your Picture Taken with Santa

Dear Holly,

Though we didn’t take you outside to see it yourself, it has now officially snowed for the first time since you’ve been born. However, I did take your brother out for a few frigid minutes so he could play.

Actually, he helped me out by carrying some of your dirty diapers to the garbage, on his Spiderman skateboard.

It obviously wasn’t a good idea to take you outside in the cold, as you were in the middle of your introduction to pink eye.

Dear Holly: A Weekend of Crawling, Pink Eye, and Getting Your Picture Taken with Santa

However, that didn’t stop you from taking advantage of every moment to practice you newly acquired skill of crawling on the floor; something you conveniently learned just in time to show Nonna and Papa for Christmas.

You also had a lot of fun getting all dressed up to go get your picture made with Santa. Even at your young age, it is apparent to me you are totally enjoying being introduced to Christmas traditions.

With your big brother right next to you on Santa’s lap, you weren’t afraid at all of Santa, his elves, and all the bright lights. While you didn’t have a clue what was actually going on, you had a good time anyway.

Dear Holly: A Weekend of Crawling, Pink Eye, and Getting Your Picture Taken with Santa

I even got to see you open your first Christmas gift this week; one of your aunts sent you and your brother Jack some gifts. I loved being able to see you begin to tear the princess-themed wrapping paper off; with a little help from your brother.

We are now just a few days away from Christmas. As an adult, I am at least just as excited as you and your brother about Christmas. I am so excited about seeing your reaction to you opening your gifts, and inevitably, playing in all the wrapper paper afterwards.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: A Weekend of Crawling, Pink Eye, and Getting Your Picture Taken with Santa