Being raised by two Dave Ramsey followers as parents, I’m sure to some degree, your version of reality might differ from some of your friends and classmates.
This past Saturday, we decided to drive down to one of the Portlandia-type parts of Nashville: 12 South. We had lunch at a place called Sloco; a sandwich shop that specializes in local ingredients.
After we picked out our vegan and vegetarian sandwiches, we each picked out a bag of non-GMO, potato chips; the only brand they carried was one I had never heard of: Deep River Snacks.
Near the end of the meal, you still had half of your bag of chips remaining, yet you asked Mommy and me for another bag.
You insisted, “But I want more for later. I really like these chips. They’re the best chips I’ve ever had.”
We explained to you that if you were willing to spend some of your remaining Christmas gift money on the chips, then that would be fine; but that we weren’t going to spend any more of our family’s budgeted food money on your extra bag of chips.
With little hesitation, you agreed. I walked you up to the counter and you purchased the chips: $1.62.
This sort of amazed me and Mommy.
It seems all you’ve ever spent your own money on has been stuffed animals and a few monster trucks.
But chips? Seriously, they were that good in your mind.
Unsurprisingly, that night for dinner you asked us if you could eat your 2nd bag of chips with your meal.
I figured if the chips really meant that much to you, how could I say no?
This story is so funny to me because I’ve never seen you so passionate about any food item.
And they were just plain chips. Just a few ingredients; potatoes, sunflower oil, sea salt.
Honestly, I’m proud that they were non-GMO (and kosher). That part is surely lost on you.
Good chips are good chips. And sometimes they’re apparently worth spending your own money on.
Yesterday morning my dad, Jack Shell, posted an interesting little story on his Facebook page. I thought it was worth sharing here on my blog:
“This is a McDonald’s cheeseburger I bought in November 2014. It has been in the original wrapper on a shelf in my office. The bread is hard and brittle but there is no mold, no smell, no deterioration. Rats and insects haven’t even touched it. I just killed a big rat in my office last week, too. I guess the rat didn’t recognize it to be food. Why should you? Remember this next time you are eating at McDonald’s.”
I suppose that my dad’s testimonial is not too shocking, considering most of us have already since Supersize Me at least once by now.
Apparently my dad decided to do a science experiment of his own. Even aside from the fact the rat didn’t find the cheeseburger and try to eat it, is the fact that nothing else in time between November 2014 and January 2016 tried to eat it either.
If nothing else, the meat itself should have attracted some kind of critter by the end of the week.
Plus, my dad mentioned nothing about a horrible smell that he, nor any other person that walked into his office, ever smelled for over a year. Because evidently, there was no horrible smell even though there should have been.
I think it’s impressive that McDonald’s is able to make a food product that A) is delicious to humans but B) is not attractive to insects or animals in the food chain whose job it is to take care of food lying around on the planet; while C) at the same time this same cheeseburger contains both meat and cheese but still does not smell horrible when left out for days, weeks, months, or even a year in just a room temperature building.
Should you have any doubt of the validity of my dad’s testimonial, it would be pretty easy to debunk. Just simply leave a McDonald’s cheeseburger in your office for over a year and then find out the results.
Granted, the fact that you could even make it more than just a few weeks would already prove my dad’s point.
Monday afternoon when I picked you up from Pre-K, you asked me to help you get all your artwork from that day out of your folder. It was quite a stack of papers; probably at least 20 different pictures you had drawn there.
Right away, I noticed a peculiar, yet subtle piece of art. You had drawn a dog standing near an anthill.
Near the anthill was a sign that read “Boo” backwards. There were ants and spiders nearby as well.
As I examined the dog carefully, I noticed that as he smiled, he was also “dually relieving” himself.
To be clear, the dog was both “going #1 and #2” at the same time.
I verified what I was seeing, and you quickly admitted what was going on in the picture.
However, you weren’t laughing about it. You kept a straight face, as if to say, “What’s funny about this? This is art. It’s nature.”
I followed up by asking if either your friends or your teacher had seen the picture. They had not.
As soon as we got home, Mommy hung your picture up on the refrigerator.
To my surprise, the next day when I picked you up, déjà vu occurred as I saw a very similar picture; this time with a cat.
This time you smiled: “I made this picture for Mommy!”
We are indeed very proud of your artwork, as were many people on Facebook who saw the pictures as well.
Now that I look back on it, this wasn’t the first time you drew a “dually relieving itself” animal as artwork.
The weekend before the 2015 CMA Awards, a couple of months ago, our family met our friends Mohamed and Lena at the Cool Springs Whole Foods (in Franklin, TN) for a late lunch, around 2:00 PM.
As we were sitting down at the table with our food, Mohamed showed me a picture of both Jessica Biel (Justin Timberlake’s wife) with her baby, as well as Justin Timberlake’s mother.
Then Mohamed pointed over to just a tables away, asking us to verify that the people at the table were indeed the same as the ones he had pulled up on his phone.
Turns out, he was right.
Apparently, Justin Timberlake’s wife, son, and mother were having lunch while Justin was assumedly preparing for his appearance at the CMA Awards; where he would go on to do an instantly legendary performance with Chris Stapleton.
All of that was lost on you. I looked down to see you had just finished drawing a picture of an animal dually relieving itself.
Fast forward to this week: You decided to bring back the concept.
Your 5th birthday is on Monday, but we decided to go ahead and have your “school birthday party” today before the weekend kicks in. Normally we would take cupcakes for you and your friends to enjoy to celebrate your birthday, but this year, you had a different specific request…
Donuts and vegan blueberry muffins.
So yesterday I hopped in the 2015 Lexus GX 460 that we are driving this week and drove to Whole Foods, which is just a 5 minute drive from where I work.
I was able to get your chocolate-covered sprinkle donuts and the vegan blueberry muffins right there at the same spot. I brought home 4 donuts and 6 muffins. Mommy and I were discussing how we would get your teacher to cut them in half; and that even then, that would be a lot of food for 5 year-olds.
You then proclaimed to me, “Tell my teacher to save a whole donut for me because I want the whole thing, not just half.”
Here lately, you’ve been saying other things like that which have really cracked me up.
We drove past a place that sells those glorious wooden playgrounds. They had one that was a pirate ship. It cost $1600.
You declared, “If I had that pirate ship playground at our house, I would never watch anything on the Kindle, because I could play on the playground.”
I told Mommy, “Maybe we should get Jack that playground. He would never, ever watch anything on the Kindle again. All he would ever do would be to play on his pirate ship playground…”
You intervened, “But sometimes, I would.”
I think I actually had you convinced we would have bought you that $1600 playground if you had agreed to never watch the Kindle again. I thought it was hilarious how you attempted to make a bargain with Mommy and me.
Funny stuff.
Okay, so imagine this: The next time I write you a letter, you’ll be 5 years old!
This morning as my wife and I were getting ready for work, we were talking about the concept of how parents can influence their kids, even without trying to.
For example, no matter how much you praise your child on their abilities, talents, and looks, they can be just as influenced by the way you, the parent, see yourself.
As Bekah on The Wally Show explained yesterday morning, a mother who picks herself apart in front of the mirror will often, by default, teach her daughter to do the same; no matter how much the mother compliments the daughter.
We learn so much from our parents.
Today is my dad’s 59th birthday. So naturally, having just had this conversation, I’ve been thinking all day about the ways my dad made me who I am; whether he meant to or not.
I easily thought of 5 ways:
1) Diet:
The first story that comes to mind was back in the late 80s one time when my dad stopped to get gas for his Ford Ranchero.
I asked him if I could get a candy bar inside the gas station. He reluctantly said yes, but went on to explain how unhealthy candy bars were, because of “all that sugar”. He told me how little boys my age needed to be eating healthier foods.
That made me curious. I then asked him when the last time he had eaten he candy bar. He replied, “Years… I probably was a boy. But I shouldn’t have, because those things aren’t healthy.”
Similarly, I can also specifically remember, around the same time, we were watching 20/20 on TV and there was a special about how kids were having heart attacks because of their diets.
My dad warned me if I didn’t start eating healthier foods, I could end up like those kids on TV who had heart attacks.
In our house, we never had white bread; only wheat. I felt deprived.
Granted, those elementary school years passed, then my teens, then my college years, and I ate horribly the whole time; whenever it was up to me. I didn’t heed his advice.
But by the time I reached my late 20s, I started seeing my processed food diet catch up with me…
Now, look at me. I am the strictest vegan anyone personally knows. If it weren’t for my dad, though, I wouldn’t currently be the healthy man I am.
If it weren’t for my dad, these days I would be a highly medicated guy: I would take something daily for severe allergy and sinus issues; and I would still constantly be suffering eczema, paying for prescription medicine to attempt to alleviate it, but not cure it.
That all went away when I became a vegan 2 and a half years ago; not to mention I’ve effortlessly remained in the perfect weight range for my height and weight since then.
I am confident that my dad’s “you better stop eating candy cars or you’re going to be a kid who has a heart attack” comments greatly influenced me for the good; even if I couldn’t appreciate it at the time.
It was ingrained in me from my dad that it’s important to prevent cancer and disease; not simply focus on the cure.
Here’s a webisode that he and I made with my son; which hints on the fact we don’t trust microwaves:
2) Being active:
Plus, my dad was always physically active. During my entire childhood, he participated in martial arts; he was a black belt. Back in 1992, he even won 1st place in the sparring competition, for his division in northern Alabama.
(As for me in modern day, I regularly run and go mountain biking; plus I take at least two 10 minute walks outside during my breaks.)
Quite regularly, I when I was a kid, I would go with my dad to his Tuesday night practices and workouts. I knew that he would let me get a cheeseburger at Hardee’s on the way home if I went with him.
Here’s another webisode that my dad and I made with my son; which features my dad in one of his classic karate uniforms:
3) Letting me make my own decisions
And perhaps that’s another way he influenced me: He let me make my own decisions, even sometimes when he knew there was a better way.
I’m not sure I’ll be as hands off with my own son. I don’t know that I can be as Libertarian with my son as my dad was with me.
But had my dad not been so laissez-faire with me (a policy or attitude of letting things take their own course, without interfering), there’s a good chance I would rebelled and acted out as a kid, teenager, and even a young adult.
So twenty years ago, during the reign of grunge, I had the long hair and the baggy jeans; and my dad never once revealed he was concerned about it.
Of course, my dad also taught me, by default, to be calm-assertive.
These qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. In all this, it was not only his words, but more importantly, his actions that inspired me how to live my life.
4) Faith
Going deeper, I grew up with my dad reading me stories from the Bible for my bedtime stories, teaching my Sunday School classes at our church, and leading the youth group at church.
Therefore, I do my best to lead my own family in the teachings of Christianity; not out of tradition, but as a way of life- serving others, not judging them.
I seriously doubt my blog would be called Family Friendly Daddy Blog if it weren’t for him. He never cussed, so neither do I. Curse words never seemed necessary in order to communicate something worth saying.
5) Politics
And when it comes to politics, I see that I have become my dad as well:
“Vote for the lesser of the two evils; whether that happens to be a Democrat or a Republican.” I remember he told me that a couple elections ago and it’s stuck with me.
A mindset like that requires an individual to use critical thinking beyond what they are taught by either the left wing or the right wing.
After all, they are both wings of the same bird.
Ultimately, he taught me to question the norm. And I do. That is a huge part of who I am.
It’s even one of the main reasons my wife started dating me, as she has told me before, “You always seem so confident in what you believe, even if it not what most other people believe.”
So really, the way I see it, it’s undeniable that my dad greatly influenced who I am. Today he turns 59 years old. Despite whatever gift card my wife and I mailed him for his birthday, these words today are my gift to him more than anything else.
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