I’ve only had an Instagram account for about 6 months now, but I can’t help but notice an ongoing theme: My son’s sense of humor is beyond his years… and mine. The thing is, I’m not convinced he’s trying to be funny. And that’s what makes it so great.
After one of on my most recent Instagram posts, I had one of his my son’s fan’s suggest I do a sort of “best of” compilation. I decided to go for it.
By scrolling below, you will be able to see my top 20 my most favorite Instagram posts featuring my son’s most confusing/bizarre/genius/awesome quotes, ideas, and artwork; spanning from November 2015 through April 2016.
I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to keep a straight face. Feel free to share with me which of these is your favorite and tell me why.
And if you’re not already following me on Instagram, there’s a good chance that this blog post today will convince you to do so: @nickshellwrites
#1 “The wolf is peeing in a bag and there is a suction cup on the bag that connects to the bottom.”
#2 “She has the chain so she can fly… and so she can’t get away.”
#3 According to Jack’s drawing today at school, dragons really did breathe fire. Looks like there was more than one way to breathe it out.”
#4 “The whale had gas and then the fish swam by and got stuck in the stink, then it all went back up the whale’s butt.”
#5 “He eats the spaghetti and meatballs and then he potties them right into the toilet.”
#6 “It’s a mommy baby and a baby baby and they are just wearing diapers.”
#7 “The machines are taking the needles out of the seal ghost.”
#8 Jack explained that we were reading his love letter to Mommy upside-down. I guess that’s better than what we thought?
#9 Jack secretly drew a picture today at school of a dog doubly relieving himself in the yard next to an ant hill.
#10 Jack took it upon himself to do a sequel to yesterday’s innovative piece… this time with a cat doubly relieving himself. He specifically told me he drew it for Mommy.
#11 “Look, Pandy is in the Air Force now. She has swords.”
#12 “The truck isn’t hauling Easter eggs… they’re poop balls.”
#13 “The bad tree is spraying the monster so the monster is shooting him with a lightning bolt.”
#14 He made the 10 Commandments out of cookies and icing at church this morning…but he’s already eaten 5 of them.
#15 “The lightning hit the building and then the sneaky mischievous fire said, “Hey, what are we going to do today?”
#16 Not sure why I came home to a trail of 5 hand-crafted paper bag cat puppets leading from the front door to the kitchen. My son has yet to explain.
#17 He was the only kid in his Sunday School class to decorate his cross with a two-headed dragon.
#18 “Hey Daddy, someday can we go to Indiana? I heard you can get the Mr. Happy book there.”
#19 Jack insisted I take a picture of him as a “slime pirate”. So here it is.
#20 I thought something felt weird all day in my shoe. My 5 year-old son quickly, and proudly, confessed.
Now, which was your favorite and why? And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram: @nickshellwrites
After filming 22 webisodes of Jack-Man from May through October of 2015, I decided to take a break from that and create a new web series; one that is specifically designed as a kids’ show, as opposed to the sci-fi super hero sitcom format of Jack-Man.
My idea was to create a show in which my niece could watch and be entertained by on YouTube. So I began combining elements of entertainment I thought would be appreciated by a 4 year-old.
Think of my new show, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest, sort of as an updated version of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, but that is more outdoors based.
In Webisode 1: Annie the Anteater, Uncle Nick helps consult an anteater who has been bullied by Freddie the Fox.
The show always begins with me introducing the audience to an old trinket that I just found. In the first webisode, it’s a harmonica.
I taught myself a few riffs the day before I filmed, and decided to record the theme song based off of my experimentation.
Another ritual is that I remind the viewers how to do my “enchanted animal call” before I put on my puffy vest.
Once we arrive outside in the Enchanted Forest, I lead the viewers in officially doing the enchanted animal call, which then invites an enchanted animal to the scene.
These first couple of webisodes feature the theme of bullying.
My plan is to continue featuring my son’s stuffed animal collection as the characters in the forest.
Webisode 2: Rocky the Raccoon introduces another forest creature who Freddie the Fox has teased.
My dream is to one day host my own kids’ show on a television network. This is me building my dream.
In Webisode 3: Freddie the Fox, Uncle Nick confronts the culprit.
For the next batch of webisodes, 4 through 6, I added not only a new song (“Animal Hat”) but also a segment where I try to guess which color the viewer is thinking of, while I play the drums. (I also play the guitar on camera now, in addition to just the harmonica as I did before.)
After the indoors portion of each show, I then take the viewer outdoors to my Enchanted Forest (the woods of Fort Payne and Mentone, Alabama) for a magical adventure, featuring talking animals.
I filmed 8 webisodes during my 3 day Christmas vacation last week, with help from my dad and brother-in-law serving as camera men. (That means I soon will be releasing even 5 more.)
During that time, I took advantage of the fact that the area was experiencing a flash flood. I based these 3 (of the newest 8) webisodes around that, making that the overall story arc for them.
In Webisode 4: Betsy the Bunny, I must rush to the rescue as Betsy the Bunny gets trapped in a tree alongside a rushing waterfall (Little River Falls in Fort Payne, AL).
Next in Webisode 5: Tiny the Turtle, I must save Tiny the Turtle before his home is swept away by the flood (DeSoto Falls in Mentone, AL).
And in the final segment of this “flood” story arc, in Webisode 6: Scuttles the Skunk, I must help Scuttles the Skunk move forward in his life as he deals with the aftermath of losing his home in the flood as well.
I designed the outdoors segment of each webisode to be a good mix of action, adventure, and psychology. However, the first (indoors) part of each webisode is designed to engage the viewer in creative thinking.
Sure, right now, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest is just getting off the ground. But I am committing to this show. I am not giving up until I reach my goal of taking my show to the big screen: the TV screen, via a major network.
I believe that I have the talent, skills, creativity, charisma, and personality to host my own TV show on a major children’s network. This web series is my way of proving it to the world.
Webisode 7: Paulie the Puppy– When Uncle Nick decides to hike a new trail, it leads him to an empty old building and a mysterious barking sound.
Webisode 8: Pokey the Pot-Bellied Pig– Uncle Nick must figure out a way to cross the river to save the little pot-bellied pig who is stuck on the other side.
Webisode 9: Ralph the Red Panda– While hiking later in the evening, Uncle Nick discovers a rare animal as it begins getting dark outside.
Webisode 10: Slither the Snake– Freddie the Fox gets trapped by a hungry snake at the top of a large rock. It’s Uncle Nick to the rescue!
Webisode 11: Barry the Bear– When a scary-looking bear is soon in the Enchanted Forest, Uncle Nick decides to investigate; leading to a lesson about not judging a bear by his cover.
Barry the Bear was first introduced 4 months ago in my other series, Jack-Man:
My main hobby right now is to crank out as many webisodes I can of my new web series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.
It is my hope that eventually my show will catch on and that I can get enough traffic to gain the attention of the talent scouts for major networks like PBS, Nickelodeon, Disney, Animal Planet, and the Discovery Channel.
My agenda with each webisode is to provide innocent and engaging entertainment for children who are watching YouTube on their parents’ smartphones.
As part of my plan to quickly build the library of my newest web series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Kingdom, I am now shooting new webisodes during my lunch breaks at work.
One of my coworkers just happens to be one of my most faithful watchers, so I didn’t really have to twist his arm in order to convince him to be my camera man/assistant director on these “during our lunch break at work” video shoots.
He and I shot two webisodes; during one 60 minute period.
First is Webisode 12: Beanie the Bat, where Uncle Nick serves as a real estate agent to a bat who likes to live in trees; with a sort of “House Hunters: Animal Edition” style of plot line.
During the shoot, I sliced my hand on the tree I was climbing. I just wrote it into the script.
The other webisode we filmed is Webisode 13: Petey the Possum. There is no doubt this is one of the most stand-out webisodes of Uncle Nick.
Very close to where I work, there is a drain tunnel the same height as me. I decided it would make the perfect setting. I am so pleased with how it turned out.
Not only do I feel the plot line is captivating, but the tunnel itself is intriguing because it’s a rare event to get a tour down into something so mysterious.
I’ll say this; I wouldn’t be willing to walk in there alone.
I feel my Uncle Nick series has so much potential and that kids would really like it if they watched it. But for now, it remains undiscovered in the corner of YouTube.
But that doesn’t stop me from continuing to grow my collection.
Uncle Nick has plenty more up his sleeve!
From January 22nd to the 24th, I filmed 6 webisodes of Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest. Similar to the way I filmed 4 webisodes after the Christmas 2015 flash flood, I took advantage of the weather condition, making it the plot line of these half a dozen webisodes.
And starting with Webisode 18, I introduce a fun new theme song as well as a new animal hat…
I got to the point where I pretty much just keep my camera, tripod, and Uncle Nick costume in my car with me; in order that I can always be prepared to shoot an episode on the spot.
Good thing I was ready on Friday, January 22nd, when the blizzard kicked in. I have a coworker, Shane Moore, who is quick and faithful to help me out with some of the shoots.
So he served as my camera man and assistant director for the first 2 webisodes of the blizzard story arc.
In Webisode 14: Baby Bear, family members get separated during the beginning of the blizzard. It’s up to Uncle Nick to reunite them!
In Webisode 15: Haley the Husky, we are introduced to a poor little homeless Husky who is stranded out in the middle of the snow storm. Uncle Nick must find her a new home to get her warm.
The remaining 4 webisodes of the blizzard story arc were filmed Saturday and Sunday morning; just me and my tripod.
Webisode 16: Piper the Penguin shows a poor penguin who is frozen to the ice. Uncle Nick must find a place to keep her safe until the other penguins return.
In Webisode 17: Lenny the Lizard, Uncle Nick must resuscitate a lizard he finds who is literally freezing in the river.
Then in Webisode 18: Pinky the Pig, Uncle Nick encounters a sleepwalking pig, who is headed towards a frozen lake.
And finally, in Webisode 19: Fluffy the Frog, Uncle Nick must discover, and uncover, a frozen frog on a log.
February was a big and busy month for filming new webisodes of my children’s adventure/fantasy series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.
After December’s flood story arc, and then January’s blizzard story arc, February presents a new story line, beginning with Ground Hog Day in Webisode 20: Gordon the Groundhog; where it is revealed a villain will be arriving in the Enchanted Forest.
Next in Webisode 21: Bruno the Blue Jay, the predicted villain, Demetrius the Shadow Caster, turns 5 of the animals of the Enchanted Forest into pennies.
From there, Bruno and Uncle Nick continue to team up as they discover other mischief that the Shadow Caster caused, while trying to find a way to turn the pennies back into animals.
They encounter in Webisode 22: Bernie the Bear, they meet a bear who is trapped underneath a tree that the Shadow Caster pushed down.
After that in Webisode 23: David the Doggie, Bruno and Uncle Nick find the defenseless little doggie who is separated from his Mommy, also because of the Shadow Caster.
So in addition to turning animals into pennies, the Shadow Caster is also pushing trees over in the Enchanted Forest.
In Webisode 24: Benji the Blue Cheetah, Bruno and Uncle Nick finally get some answers at the top of the Enchanted Mountain when they encounter the legendary blue cheetah.
From there, Uncle Nick and Bruno journey closer to saving their friends, but first pi
ck up two new friends…
In Webisode 25: Baby Bunny, they discover a tiny animal who decides to hitch a ride with them.
Then in Webisode 26: Sylvester the Snake, they must rescue a shivering snake from a mountain top, on the way down to the Enchanted Pond.
Finally, in Webisode 27: Steinbeck the Stegosaurus, the animal reunion occurs as the coins return to their animal state!
Coming up in Spring 2016, a new sidekick will be introduced when Magellan the Mouse finally catches up to Uncle Nick.
I’m really looking forward to that because it will mark the beginning of me using an actual puppet instead of a stuffed animal.
The funny thing is, I purchased the puppet using a gift card I received from Ben Wilder, the person playing Demetrius the Shadow Caster!
As we were spending the night at Nonna and Papa’s house last weekend, your brother Jack and I were looking through your Aunt Dana’s old dolls as Mommy was waking up.
I grabbed a naked Cabbage Patch doll and a blanket. Then, I covered up Mommy’s waist with the blanket and placed the doll underneath, then announced, “Oh, Jack… Mommy’s having the baby now!”
Jack’s eyes got big and he stood still anxiously beside the bed, as he watched me pull out the doll, feet first, from underneath the blanket.
It wasn’t until he saw the Cabbage Patch’s head that he realized it was a joke.
We all immediately began laughing, but I noticed how enthralled Jack was at what he thought was your birth.
When we got back to Tennessee, our family went to Target: Mommy was checking in on her registry; meanwhile, I hung out with Jack in the toy section.
I was not surprised to hear your brother’s first request: “Daddy, let’s see if they have any Cabbage Patch babies.”
The idea was now in his mind to practice taking care of a baby, in relation to your arrival.
(He’s been practicing drawing “babies in their diapers” at school this week.)
However, they only had “kid” Cabbage Patch dolls, no babies.
But then, once we arrived back at our house, we learned that, coincidently, your Grandma (Mommy’s Mommy) in California mailed you a baby doll this week. Quite immediately, your brother Jack took it upon himself to take care of it until you can.
Within minutes, he was rocking the doll in the swing. He also named it “Dollee,” which is not to be confused with “Dolly”: He was very specific about that.
Granted, your brother has a stuffed animal collection which is likely larger than that of the average 5 year-old boy. However, that’s not the same as playing with dolls.
He’s never expressed interest in pretending like a human baby doll was real; only animals.
Until now. “Dollee” is clearly the personification of Jack imagining and preparing what it will be like when you arrive.
Instead of Holly, it’s Dollee… for now.
Of course, he plays with Dollee like a boy would. Tonight, Dollee derailed a train.
Jack insisted that Dollee sleep in his bed with him. It’s very clear to me he is expressing his excitement about you getting here in about 8 weeks.
Last weekend we were in Alabama, celebrating Aunt Dana’s birthday a month late, since the blizzard happened the same day we were supposed to go there on our actual birthday weekend.
You and your cousin Calla enjoyed playing hide-and-go-seek with Uncle Andrew.
With the two of you both being 5 years-old now, you’ve mutually reached a convenient dynamic: You come up with fun and weird ideas, and your cousin goes along with them.
When it came time for your final hiding place before we left to drive back to Tennessee, you discovered the perfect hiding place.
In your Aunt Dana’s dormer window upstairs, there is a display of 1980s and 1990s stuffed animals; including, but not limited to, a Popple, a giant Domino’s Pizza teddy bear, Shoney Bear, and Alf.
You saw it as the perfect opportunity. Quite seamlessly, the two of you immersed yourself in the ocean of stuffed animals.
Instead of hiding out of sight, the two of you hid in plain sight.
Just your expressionless faces were showing in the collection of stuffed animals. I admit, I wouldn’t have found the two of you- I would have walked right past.
Fortunately, your Uncle Andrew snapped a picture of the event on his phone and ran downstairs to show us all, before officially “finding” you two.
It would have been one thing if an adult had given you this idea. But no- this was the result of two 5 year-olds hiding from an adult.
Even more impressive, you have never seen the movie E.T.; since it is not available on Netflix streaming.
One day, when you finally get to see that movie, you’ll watch the scene where E.T. himself hides in a closet full of stuffed animals.
You didn’t get the idea from adults or from a movie. You thought of this all on your own.
A few weeks ago, I told you about how at school you drew a picture of a dragon that breathed air out both ends…
Well, on Tuesday night as I was looking through your daily drawings, I discovered a happy Brontosaurus with his rear end facing what I thought was the pot of food.
But then you explained, “He eats the spaghetti and meatballs and then he potties them out.”
So the “pot of food” was actually the toilet. The brontosaurs apparently ate the spaghetti and meatballs (though he’s a vegetarian, like you), then just moments later they came out into the toilet.
Sounds like that dinosaur needs to have a toilet installed in his kitchen, if that’s the case.
In your typical style, you weren’t smiling or laughing as you told me this. It was became clear to me that you are simply fascinated by how the digestion process works:
Indeed, the dinosaur ate the spaghetti and meatballs and then they came out into the potty.
When I was your age, I was still assuming that when I ate food, it simply just went down to my toes. You’re beyond that naïve concept of thinking.
I couldn’t help but ask a few follow-up questions:
“Did you show this to your friends or teacher?”
“No.”
“Did you laugh when you drew this?”
“Yes.”
“Who did you draw this for? Who did you want to see this?”
“You and Mommy.”
Granted, you didn’t present this drawing to us. You casually waited for us to ask to see your daily drawings from school.
Of course, I couldn’t help but share your art on my Instagram, which is linked to my Twitter and Facebook.
My followers are starting to see a pattern in which potty humor is beginning to play a decent part in what I share about my life.
You are into understanding the physics of the digestive track, by default, becoming one who appreciates potty humor.
I celebrate you, therefore, I celebrate potty humor too.
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