snacks

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Dear Jack: You Spent Your Own Money on a Bag of Non-GMO Potato Chips

Dear Jack: You Spent Your Own Money on a Bag of Non-GMO, Organic Potato Chips

Being raised by two Dave Ramsey followers as parents, I’m sure to some degree, your version of reality might differ from some of your friends and classmates.

This past Saturday, we decided to drive down to one of the Portlandia-type parts of Nashville: 12 South. We had lunch at a place called Sloco; a sandwich shop that specializes in local ingredients.

After we picked out our vegan and vegetarian sandwiches, we each picked out a bag of non-GMO, potato chips; the only brand they carried was one I had never heard of: Deep River Snacks.

Near the end of the meal, you still had half of your bag of chips remaining, yet you asked Mommy and me for another bag.

You insisted, “But I want more for later. I really like these chips. They’re the best chips I’ve ever had.”

We explained to you that if you were willing to spend some of your remaining Christmas gift money on the chips, then that would be fine; but that we weren’t going to spend any more of our family’s budgeted food money on your extra bag of chips.

With little hesitation, you agreed. I walked you up to the counter and you purchased the chips: $1.62.

This sort of amazed me and Mommy.

It seems all you’ve ever spent your own money on has been stuffed animals and a few monster trucks.

But chips? Seriously, they were that good in your mind.

Unsurprisingly, that night for dinner you asked us if you could eat your 2nd bag of chips with your meal.

I figured if the chips really meant that much to you, how could I say no?

This story is so funny to me because I’ve never seen you so passionate about any food item.

And they were just plain chips. Just a few ingredients; potatoes, sunflower oil, sea salt.

Honestly, I’m proud that they were non-GMO (and kosher). That part is surely lost on you.

Good chips are good chips. And sometimes they’re apparently worth spending your own money on.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Baby Moses, as Portrayed by a Sour Patch Kid, Floating on a River of Jell-O

5 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: Baby Moses, as Portrayed by a Sour Patch Kid

Mommy and I have noticed how exceptional the children’s program is at our church, The Church at Station Hill. As part of your class curriculum each Sunday morning, you all get to walk over to the craft room after the lesson, where I am always impressed by what new craft you make.

I love it that our church has a room set aside just for kids’ crafts; most of which are edible. It’s always interesting to walk by that room and peek in to see what you’ll be making each morning as we take you to your classroom.

This past Sunday as we were walking back to the car after church ended, you showed Mommy and me the newest one.

It was baby Moses floating down the river.

What made this craft a lot of fun, especially on a Sunday morning as I was now buckling you into your car seat, was that baby Moses was actually a Sour Patch Kid, floating on a river of Blue Jell-O.

As I drove home, with you and Mommy in the back seat, I could hear you enjoying eating your Sunday School craft:

“Mmm… baby Moses tastes good, he’s crunchy!”

I’m just glad that it was Moses floating down the river in a basket, and not baby Jesus in the manger. Because that would really seem weird. It would take the concept of Holy Communion to a different level.

An edible gingerbread house is fine, as his baby Moses floating down the river, but I think an edible manger scene might be a little too crafty.

But as for baby Moses, he floated down the river of your digestive track and you were happy I was letting you get away with eating candy so early in the day.

Needless to say, you definitely now know the story of baby Moses floating down the river.

Love,

Daddy

6 Comments Posted on Health, Nostalgia, Storytelling, Uncategorized

dad from day one: Last Minute Expectations

Thirty-eight weeks.

It is almost a given that a family sitcom will reach its peak by Season 5 or 6, where in attempt to bring back ratings, someone has a baby.  (Examples include Full House, Growing Pains, Family Ties, Step By Step, and even though it’s not a family show, The Office).  There is often a way too familiar seen where the soon-to-be new mother’s water breaks during an inconvenient situation or random location and the soon-to-be new father clumsily rushes her to the hospital, only to continue being more dramatic than his laboring wife.  And for added effect, he passes out from exhaustion while his wife happily holds their new baby.

actual footage

Will that bumbling husband be me?   I sure hope not. Tomorrow morning we will do the final packing for D-Day: clothes, toiletries, snacks, Italian champagne, bottled water, gum, camera, cell phone charger, our birth plan,  and the birthing ball.  We’ll pack our bags into the car (I installed the car seat in it a few weeks ago) that we will drive to the hospital.  We will be all set.  It’s weird to pack for the birth of a child, yet it seems kinda like we’re going on a road trip to a state 8 hours away instead.

Since most of my expectations are based on laugh track infused sitcoms that first aired during the 1980’s or clips of worst case scenarios played out on birthing shows on networks that I only watch because my wife watches them, I’m sure the way I am playing out D-Day in my head is pretty far from reality.  I have a feeling it will be in between the two extremes.  I know it will be surreal.  Soon, I will experience the event that neither words nor snapshots will be able to describe.

All pictures with the “JHP” logo were taken by Joe Hendricks Photography:

Blog- www.photojoeblog.com

Website- www.joehendricks.com

3 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

dad from day one: Honestly, Baby Jack Could Be Born Any Day Now

Thirty-seven weeks.

In a matter of days (most likely no more than 20), dad from day one will no longer be a blog about pregnancy from a dad’s perspective; instead of pregnancy, it will be about a real life baby.  Like the way that the first season of Saved by the Bell was really called Good Morning, Miss Bliss and took place in Indiana, then by the next season Miss Bliss was gone and Zack, Screech, Lisa, and Mr. Belding magically reappeared in California, yet it was still basically the same TV show, only better and livelier.

My work place had a "masculine baby shower" for me, meaning there were no games- just food and a bucket full of gifts.

What this means is that this post of dad from day one could be the last one before “Baby Jack is Born!” is published.  Or, I could easily post two more new ones before he’s born.  No way of knowing.  It’s like waiting for the clown to jump out of the jack-in-the-box while turning the crank.  Any day now, our Jack may pop out of the box!  (Unavoidable metaphor.)

Pork-free soup is hard to find in the South; at least in my office.

His due date is November 11th, on my dad’s birthday, but my wife and I are both convinced that Baby Jack will be born on the 5th.  We met on October 5, 2006.  Our first date was on February 5, 2007.  We got married on July 5, 2008.  And November 5, 2010 will be Week 39, close enough to Week 40- it’s very possible.  Though I love to joke that he will be born on Halloween and he’ll be our Jack-O-Lantern.

Last night we finished our last Lamaze class.  Last weekend we packed the car seat.  This weekend we will make a trip to Target to pick up supplies (snacks) for the hospital stay and finish packing for D-Day.  It’s like preparing for the ultimate first day of school.  But instead of meeting my new teacher, I’m meeting my new baby.

All pictures with the “JHP” logo were taken by Joe Hendricks Photography:

Blog- www.photojoeblog.com

Website- www.joehendricks.com

Pick up a copy of the November 2010 issue of American Baby magazine...

...and on page 13 you just might see some familiar faces.

This being the first time my writings have been featured in a national magazine, I have to compare the experience of seeing the copy for the first time to that great scene in That Thing You Do where The Wonders all hear their song being played on the radio for the first time.  I will never forget; during my lunch break I rode my mountain bike to an appropriately named maternity and baby clothing store in Franklin, TN called Pickles and Ice  Cream.

The issue had just arrived in the store.  The two girls behind the counter watched me anxiously and purposely turning the pages until I found page 13, both knowing something was up.  And though I was still wearing my bike helmet, they realized that the squinty-eyed Italian-looking guy wearing a Tom & Jerry t-shirt in the magazine must be me.

3 Comments Posted on Health, Nostalgia, Storytelling, Uncategorized

All the Flavors of Pringles: Mingling and Pringling at Summer Dinner Parties

I can’t eat just one Pringle.  But I am able to eat just one can. Typically.

It’s funny how the summer time itself can make you feel more popular and sociable than normal.  My wife and I have noticed that nearly every weekend this summer we’ve got some event planned with other people, not to mention the many dinner parties we’ve already attended in the past several weeks.  Since there’s always that item or two that we need to bring to the dinner, we end up at the grocery to the day before to pick up the garlic bread or salad.

And while I’m there, I sneakily mosey over to the potato chips isle to explore the local Pringles selection.  Despite how adamant/religious I am about what I eat (nothing processed, no pork, no shellfish, no sugar, only wheat bread, must drink a minimum of three liters of water a day, etc.) I am willing to admit that one of my surprising weaknesses is any random can of Pringles potato chips.  Maybe it’s this subconscious belief that regular potato chips are “white trashy” and Pringles are the sophisticated option.  Even as a kid who never cared about nutrition, I still have always preferred Pringles over any of the greasier and/or more fattening options out there like Lay’s or Doritos.

Anytime I’m invited to a dinner party now, I use the event as an excuse to buy a can of Pringles.  It would be against my self-imposed moral code to simply purchase chips and bring them into my house to eat, because that means I’m contributing to the junk food industry.  But if it’s for a party, with the intended use of sharing, that it becomes justified in my mind.  And with all the weird flavors that Pringles provide me with and my curiosity to try them all, often I come home with at least half the can still in tact.  Prime example: Last Friday night, Mozzarella Sticks and Marinara.  (Basically the distinctive ingredient is sour cream.)

Surely obsession with Pringles is that they give me the illusion that I’m eating unhealthy foods like Bloomin’ Onions, Quesadillas, or Cheeseburgers, though I’m actually eating low fat potato chips.  The flavors themselves provide entertainment.  Not the mention the labels themselves.

 

For example, right now I’m looking at an empty can of Pringles Xtreme Ragin’ Cajun.  I like how a serving size is 16 “crisps”, not chips.  It’s funny how “spices” is listed as an ingredient, then a few later comes “spice extracts”, then “paprika extract”- so vague and yet specific all at once.  Of course there’s some Red Lake 40 thrown in there for effect, which is extracted from petroleum (click healthnutshell: Red Food Dye to read more about that).  My favorite part of it is the last ingredient listed: “and natural and artificial flavors (including smoke)”.

Wait, I don’t get it.  Is the smoke real or artificial?  Or half fake, half real?  I really need to understand this…

Pringles.  So good.  So weird.  So mysterious.

Pringles Flavors: The Complete Guide