Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate Who Draws Dragons that Breathe Out Fire in More Ways than One

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate

Dear Jack,

I feel it’s pretty easy these days to entertain people on my Instagram. I just simply take a picture of you when I come home from work each day.

Because typically, you’re into something interesting.

Tuesday as soon as I got in the door, you were having fun playing with a small container of slime that Mommy and I got you a while back.

“Look Daddy, I’m a pirate!” you proclaimed.

Clearly, that was your invitation to me to take a picture and share it with everyone.

After I snapped the picture, you bragged, “Daddy, I kept my eye open while the slime was covering it.”

In case “slime pirate” wasn’t a legitimate term before, it is now. You were a slime pirate.

That was funny enough, but on Monday, as we were finishing up dinner, you handed Mommy a sealed envelope.

You were so proud for her to open it.

The letter mainly consisted of variations of the word “boo,” which other than your name, which is one of the words you feel most confident spelling and writing.

Mommy read your letter out loud. There was one particular word that actually made sense. Mommy and I couldn’t stop laughing.

“You’re reading it upside-down,” you explained.

Turning the letter the other way revealed that your own name was now showing, but everything else was now more confusing.

I’m still not really sure what the letter was intended to say.

Whatever you believed the letter said, I’m sure it was kind, loving words for Mommy.

Actually, I’m pretty confused that as you wrote down random concepts of words on that paper, you had hoped that would magically translate into words than actually made sense; as if that’s how writing a letter works.

Either way, your love letter to Mommy was well received.

And then there was yesterday, too. I discovered your artwork. Amazingly, Mommy didn’t notice it first:

A dragon that clearly is able to breathe out fire, but not from this mouth…

Love,

Daddy

My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

Since he was 7 months old, my son Jack has been in daycare/preschool. He’s currently finishing out Pre-K this year; starting Kindergarten in the fall.

This entire time, he has been around kids of all other races. This is Nashville; quite the ethnic melting pot.

No one has ever brought to his attention that people have “different colors” of skin from one another. He has yet to notice this on his own; that we are all ultimately different shades of brown.

He is aware that people have different hair colors and eye colors, but not skin colors.

I assume that at some point, perhaps within the next few years, he’ll learn from other kids at his school that people can be identified by their race.

Imagine: to be a kid who has no concept of race; or more importantly, prejudice or racism.

Without someone teaching them, I suppose kids don’t know these things?

Since I took my son to see the new Star Wars movie a week ago, he has kept bringing up Finn; one of the main characters and heroes:

“Daddy, look. This new Lego spaceship I made is like the one Finn flies on Star Wars!”

My son is completely unaware that Finn is of a different race. All my son knows is, Finn is a cool guy.

He’s just as clueless of any concept of race in regards to any of the wonderful people in our lives who happen to be of other races.

And my plan is to keep it that way, until the day comes when the topic is actually related to honoring and celebrating that person’s culture.

Why would I bring up their race anyway? It’s irrelevant to him and it’s irrelevant to me.

I believe in the importance of honoring and celebrating a person’s culture. But until then, I just don’t see a point in bringing up the topic of race to my son.

After all, he’s managed just fine without knowing for these first 5 years of his life. I don’t see how he’s at a disadvantage not knowing.

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

Dear Jack,

Tuesday at 1:00 AM, I shot straight out of bed and ran upstairs. I didn’t use to have such stellar hearing when it comes to a child crying in the middle of the night, but that skill has evolved over the past 5 years.

When I arrived in your room, you were sitting up in your bed. You explained, “I had a scary dream. The house was on fire and the fireman came.”

I quickly assured you, “Well there’s definitely no fire in our house. I’m here. It was just a dream. There are no firemen here. Just us.”

You and I both knew why you had that bad dream. The morning before, as our family was about to leaving for school and work, we all noticed a strange chemical smell in the garage.

I thought it smelled like nail polish remover; you thought it smelled like chlorine in the swimming pool.

After Mommy pulled her car out of the garage, much of the smell went away; though the smell was still very strong inside my car.

Our plan was this: When we get home, let’s not park in the garage. Instead, let’s keep the garage door closed, that way we can walk into the garage through the smaller door, to see if the smell has replenished itself.

That is indeed what happened, but I also had Mommy call the non-emergency line for the fire department.

When I arrived home, you and Mommy were sitting in Mommy’s parked car in the driveway; as the fireman explored our garage, and house, in all their fancy equipment.

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

Interestingly, after their thorough investigation, they found no sort of gas or chemical leak. They found no reason for concern.

The best theory they, or we, could come up with is that we had recently opened the box for Holly’s new stroller; and somehow the “new smell” from that accumulated into the garage, which is on the other side of our living room.

This marks the first time I ever remember you having a scary dream and calling me up. I wish you didn’t have to dream that, but I’m glad we had our place professional inspected to make sure we truly are safe.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Taking You to See Stars Wars (The Force Awakens) was a Top Parenting Moment for Me *No Spoilers*

Dear Jack: Taking You to See Stars Wars (The Force Awakens) was a Top Parenting Moment for Me *No Spoilers*

5 years, 2 months. 

Dear Jack,

I had been preparing you for over a year for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The time finally came this past Saturday.

Easily, I can say in confidence, it was one of my most epic experiences as a parent, to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens for the first time, together with you.

We arrived about an hour before the movie as supposed to begin. Even though it had been out in theatres for a month already, I wasn’t willing to risk not getting a good seat, or any seat at all.

Good thing I approached the situation the way I did. We were there at the 4:05 matinee when, technically, the least amount of people are supposed to be interested in seeing a movie.

When we walked in, there were only about 15 or 20 seats taken; so we got our choice seats.

But within 30 minutes, the only seats remaining were the 3 separate front rows, where the floor is flat and you have to look straight up at the screen.

So the good news was that we got good seats by being there an hour before show time.

The bad news was that the commercials and previews started at “show time”, meaning that we were sitting there for close to an hour and a half before Star Wars actually began, meaning we both had to “go potty” as the show was finally beginning. That was the downside of making sure we were fully hydrated for the movie.

However, the movie was so enthralling that we made it through the entire movie, which was 2 hours and 16 minutes; we stayed all the way until the credit ended.

The whole time, you sat on my lap. Each time a new character appeared, you would whisper to me, “Daddy, is that a good guy or a bad guy?”

That’s an especially relevant question when watching a Star Wars movie, when that’s one of the underlying themes in most Star Wars movies anyway: Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

During the most intense action scenes, you would sit straight up on my knee. You were so into it!

I am so happy were you born in 2010; making you 5 years-old when the first new J.J. Abrams/Disney Star Wars movie came out.

That is the perfect age for you to start watching these movies with me.

Having seen all the previous Star Wars movie, I must say that this new one was everything I’d hope it would be.

I was so impressed. I can’t wait for us to watch it when it comes to Redbox. Mommy is pretty intrigued by us talking about it so much, that now she looks forward to seeing it with us.

We love Star Wars!

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: You were Legitimately Worried People Would Think I’m Superman

5 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack: You were Legitimately Worried People Would Think I’m Superman

Dear Jack,

Last Saturday, as I was paying for parking so we could attend the Nashville Boat & Sportshow, as well as Monster Jam 2016, you and Mommy stayed in the car.

(Fortunately, we lucked out, and only had to pay $13 to park. In downtown Nashville, that’s a good deal.)

I was wearing my new Superman baseball cap that you and Mommy got me for Christmas. As I was outside in the parking lot finalizing our parking space, you asked Mommy, “What if people think Daddy is Superman because he’s wearing that? What if they start crowding around him?”

This was a legitimate concern to you; that the tourists of downtown Nashville would be stopped in their tracks by the presence of the real Superman.

How would they spot me? Because of my Superman logo on my hat; as opposed to my shirt, were the Superman logo is usually displayed.

Never mind that Superman would be more like 6’4” and 220 pounds, whereas I’m 5’9” and 155 pounds.

Still, in your mind, I could pass as Superman.

If I allowed myself to, I could let that go to my head.

I also learned that same day, that you believe Batman, as well as Superman, are not simply fictional super heroes, but actually real people.

As you saw the “Batman building”, as we Nashvillians call it, you proclaimed, “Daddy, I wonder if Batman really sleeps up there on top of the Batman building?”

So in your mind, not only is Batman a real person, but he happens to live in the center of downtown Nashville.

I love the way you think. I love the thought of a version of reality in which not only legendary superheroes walk among us, but also where I, your Daddy, could possibly be mistaken for one.

But in your mind, it works. I am Superman.

Love,

Daddy