Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate Who Draws Dragons that Breathe Out Fire in More Ways than One

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate

Dear Jack,

I feel it’s pretty easy these days to entertain people on my Instagram. I just simply take a picture of you when I come home from work each day.

Because typically, you’re into something interesting.

Tuesday as soon as I got in the door, you were having fun playing with a small container of slime that Mommy and I got you a while back.

“Look Daddy, I’m a pirate!” you proclaimed.

Clearly, that was your invitation to me to take a picture and share it with everyone.

After I snapped the picture, you bragged, “Daddy, I kept my eye open while the slime was covering it.”

In case “slime pirate” wasn’t a legitimate term before, it is now. You were a slime pirate.

That was funny enough, but on Monday, as we were finishing up dinner, you handed Mommy a sealed envelope.

You were so proud for her to open it.

The letter mainly consisted of variations of the word “boo,” which other than your name, which is one of the words you feel most confident spelling and writing.

Mommy read your letter out loud. There was one particular word that actually made sense. Mommy and I couldn’t stop laughing.

“You’re reading it upside-down,” you explained.

Turning the letter the other way revealed that your own name was now showing, but everything else was now more confusing.

I’m still not really sure what the letter was intended to say.

Whatever you believed the letter said, I’m sure it was kind, loving words for Mommy.

Actually, I’m pretty confused that as you wrote down random concepts of words on that paper, you had hoped that would magically translate into words than actually made sense; as if that’s how writing a letter works.

Either way, your love letter to Mommy was well received.

And then there was yesterday, too. I discovered your artwork. Amazingly, Mommy didn’t notice it first:

A dragon that clearly is able to breathe out fire, but not from this mouth…



Metaphors in Super Mario Bros. that Taught Us about Real Life

How many lives do you have left before it’s “game over”?

Something that Super Mario Bros. taught us first, more so than any other video game, was the concept of having “lives”.  If you fell in a hole (which means you instantly died; no chance that the hole wasn’t really that deep or that you could have grabbed on to a branch while falling), you lost a life.  If you touched an enemy, you lost a life (which is completely irrational; I wonder what would happen if Mario touched a “frenemy”?…). If you ran out of time, you lost a life (okay, I admit, that concept is somewhat lifelike).

However, if you accomplished certain goals to better yourself, like ate a healthy mushroom(this promoted organic a lifestyle), saved 100 coins (which causes the game to most likely be endorsed by Dave Ramsey), kicked a turtle shell that slid into 10 enemies (illogical and scientifically impossible on so many levels), or jumped to the top of a flagpole (because that’s normal in real life), you actually would get a “1 Up”, which means that you gained an extra life.

But the whole point of this game, despite collecting gold coins (which instantly disappeared when you touched them- could that be a metaphor symbolizing how money is meaningless?) and muddling through everyday distractions (like busting bricks with your fist because you thought there was a steel box with an “invincibility star” inside- choose your own metaphor for life on that one…) was to save the princess from the evil mutant dragon named Koopa.

If you could run under the dragon in the final castle when he jumped up while breathing fire and hammers at you, you instantly touched an axe that caused the bridge to collapse, therefore sending the dragon into the fiery lava pit (poor architectural planning, if you ask me…). In the next room, the famous princess was waiting to be saved from captivity.  In other words, despite being responsible by saving money, despite gaining power, despite becoming a hero to anyone, it’s all really about helping other people.

Cool Retro Sunday School Bonus!

And for those from a Protestant background, the Mushroom Kingdom represents the Heavenly Kingdom, the dragon symbolizes Satan who will be hurled into the lake of fire in the end, and saving the princess symbolizes sharing Christ’s message of salvation and loving others as ourselves, which is the summary of Ephesians 2:8-10, and in my opinion, the meaning of life and the whole point of Christianity.