Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate Who Draws Dragons that Breathe Out Fire in More Ways than One

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: You’re a Love Letter-Writing Slime Pirate

Dear Jack,

I feel it’s pretty easy these days to entertain people on my Instagram. I just simply take a picture of you when I come home from work each day.

Because typically, you’re into something interesting.

Tuesday as soon as I got in the door, you were having fun playing with a small container of slime that Mommy and I got you a while back.

“Look Daddy, I’m a pirate!” you proclaimed.

Clearly, that was your invitation to me to take a picture and share it with everyone.

After I snapped the picture, you bragged, “Daddy, I kept my eye open while the slime was covering it.”

In case “slime pirate” wasn’t a legitimate term before, it is now. You were a slime pirate.

That was funny enough, but on Monday, as we were finishing up dinner, you handed Mommy a sealed envelope.

You were so proud for her to open it.

The letter mainly consisted of variations of the word “boo,” which other than your name, which is one of the words you feel most confident spelling and writing.

Mommy read your letter out loud. There was one particular word that actually made sense. Mommy and I couldn’t stop laughing.

“You’re reading it upside-down,” you explained.

Turning the letter the other way revealed that your own name was now showing, but everything else was now more confusing.

I’m still not really sure what the letter was intended to say.

Whatever you believed the letter said, I’m sure it was kind, loving words for Mommy.

Actually, I’m pretty confused that as you wrote down random concepts of words on that paper, you had hoped that would magically translate into words than actually made sense; as if that’s how writing a letter works.

Either way, your love letter to Mommy was well received.

And then there was yesterday, too. I discovered your artwork. Amazingly, Mommy didn’t notice it first:

A dragon that clearly is able to breathe out fire, but not from this mouth…

Love,

Daddy

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