parenting

Leave a comment Posted on funny, Storytelling, Uncategorized, vegan

Dear Jack: I’ve Sunk to Your Level of Potty Humor

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: I’ve Sunk to Your Level of Potty Humor

Dear Jack,

A few weeks ago, I told you about how at school you drew a picture of a dragon that breathed air out both ends…

Well, on Tuesday night as I was looking through your daily drawings, I discovered a happy Brontosaurus with his rear end facing what I thought was the pot of food.

But then you explained, “He eats the spaghetti and meatballs and then he potties them out.”

So the “pot of food” was actually the toilet. The brontosaurs apparently ate the spaghetti and meatballs (though he’s a vegetarian, like you), then just moments later they came out into the toilet.

Sounds like that dinosaur needs to have a toilet installed in his kitchen, if that’s the case.

In your typical style, you weren’t smiling or laughing as you told me this. It was became clear to me that you are simply fascinated by how the digestion process works:

Indeed, the dinosaur ate the spaghetti and meatballs and then they came out into the potty.

When I was your age, I was still assuming that when I ate food, it simply just went down to my toes. You’re beyond that naïve concept of thinking.

I couldn’t help but ask a few follow-up questions:

“Did you show this to your friends or teacher?”

“No.”

“Did you laugh when you drew this?”

“Yes.”

“Who did you draw this for? Who did you want to see this?”

“You and Mommy.”

Granted, you didn’t present this drawing to us. You casually waited for us to ask to see your daily drawings from school.

Of course, I couldn’t help but share your art on my Instagram, which is linked to my Twitter and Facebook.

My followers are starting to see a pattern in which potty humor is beginning to play a decent part in what I share about my life.

You are into understanding the physics of the digestive track, by default, becoming one who appreciates potty humor.

I celebrate you, therefore, I celebrate potty humor too.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on marriage, parenting, People, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: A Glimpse of Your Upcoming Family Life

30 weeks.

Dear Holly: A Glimpse of Your Upcoming Family Life

Dear Holly,

Tuesday night as I was finishing up dishes downstairs, I happened to hear the conversation going on upstairs, as Mommy was getting your brother Jack ready for bed.

I heard Jack telling Mommy, “Daddy gets toothpaste all over my mouth when he brushes my teeth in the morning. Daddy’s crazy!”

Mommy replied, “Yes, you’ve got a crazy Daddy and you’re lucky to have him.”

That made me feel all warm inside as I heard it.

I then decided to join the moment by sneaking upstairs with my new toy:

Earlier that day, thanks to a Barnes and Noble gift card I had received after helping out a friend, I was able to purchase a really cool pack rat puppet, from the brand Folkmanis.

I’ve named my new puppet Magellan the Mouse and he will be a new main character on web series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.

Your brother Jack was standing at the top of the stairs, facing Mommy, as he was getting dressed for bedtime.

Quite successfully, I sneaked up the stairs without him realizing it, just inches away from his feet.

Using a Wisconsin accent, I used Magellan’s movable arms to grab Jack’s ankles, proclaiming, “I’m Magellan the Mouse.”

Though I definitely scared him, he was more excited than anything, to see a life-like puppet in action.

Jack then stuck his finger in Magellan’s mouth and began asking the puppet to start biting him because “it feels like a real rat biting me.”

That’s a glimpse of your upcoming life.

On any given night, you can likely expect something like this to be going on.

You will be raised by an eccentric Daddy who is always up to some new shtick to grow his YouTube audience in an effort to legitimately become a professional actor and entertainer.

Meanwhile, your brother will be crafting his own weird experiments, like placing his leftover Halloween candy into warm saltwater to watch it dissolve, as opposed to showing any interest or excitement in eating it.

Mommy’s the “normal” one. But by default, she can’t be all that normal when she is surrounded by Jack and me.

So where does that leave you? The next few years will help answer that question.

But I have a feeling that you will take after me in more ways than one.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, People, Pregnancy, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

29 weeks.

Dear Holly: The One-to-One Parent-to-Kid Ratio When You Get Here

Dear Holly,

There will be quite the celebration when you arrive in about 11 weeks. It’s so exciting to see new packages at our door every couple of days: new outfits for you, as well as diapers and wipes…

And even that double stroller a few weeks ago. This weekend your brother Jack enjoyed testing it out.

While he is excited, he’s also getting anxious about the changes that will happen when you are born.

Here’s what I predict will happen. For the first several months, I think he and I will naturally team up, to balance out the fact Mommy will be spending so much time taking care of you as a mother does for her newborn.

There will be a one-to-one parent-to-kid ratio for the first time in our family.

That’s actually fine by me. First the first year and a half of your brother’s life, I was by default the 3rd wheel. It was undeniable.

Jack was needing so much of Mommy’s attention, both physically and psychologically, that I often just felt like the silent chauffeur and custodian.

Socially, I didn’t really feel that needed.

I feel that won’t be the case in April.

Jack will depend on me as someone to keep paying attention to him on a constant basis, which as an only child up until this point, is something he’s accustomed to.

My plan is simply this: I’ll do whatever Mommy needs help with for you, but really, my main job as a parent for the first several months will be to help your brother Jack transition into his role as big brother.

As for you and I, if this is anything like it was for Jack and me, then you won’t really think I’m that big of a deal until you’re about 15 months old. Until then, I’ll mainly be a blurry figure with a deep voice.

I’m okay with that. I know what to expect.

It’s a matter of respecting everyone’s role and place. Mine will be your brother Jack’s shadow until you are able to become more physically independent, but that will be a while.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Pregnancy, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Your 1st Signs of Anxiety about Becoming a Big Brother

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: Your 1st Signs of Anxiety about Becoming a Big Brother

Dear Jack,

A popular question people having been recently asking me is this:

“How is Jack handling the news about there being another baby on the way?”

I was always able to quickly and easily respond by telling them you are excited, and that with a 5 and a year difference, I predict there will be no real concern on your end about a sense of competition.

That changed this week.

Normally you are the happiest kid I know. But on Tuesday night, you were much different at the dinner table.

We had to take you up to bed early because you weren’t really eating and you were crying about (seemingly) nothing and everything all at once.

So we just assumed you didn’t take a nap at school and needed to get to bed sooner.

While that was true, there was more to it.

In your emotionally vulnerable state, you eventually told Mommy that night during bath time:

“I’m sad that you are excited about the baby.”

Just an hour or so before, Mommy and I had been doting over the cute, girly outfits that we had received in the mail for Holly.

You went on to tell Mommy: “I wish things could stay the same.”

When she replied you two would get to be together for the summer while she is on maternity leave, you said “Just me and you?”

I knew you are smart kid, but I was unaware at 5 years old that you are able to clearly express your anxieties and fears to us, in such a sober and direct way.

That’s emotional intelligence.

It’s not my attention and affection that you fear missing. It’s Mommy’s.

She and I talked about it more. It’s heartbreaking to see you this way, worrying that you’ll lose your relationship status with Mommy.

In some ways, there is reality in your fears of things changing when your sister gets here.

But at the same time, you have two parents who are proactively dedicated to making sure we help you with this transition.

Love,

Daddy

2 Comments Posted on parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Our Family was Approached by The Lifetime Network to Be on a TV Show

Our Family was Approached by The Lifetime Network to Be on a TV Show

No, this isn’t a rerun story.

You may be remembering how back in August our family was approached by a casting director to be on a TV show on NBC, called The Family Project; which sounds like a modified version of ABC’s Wife Swap.

Now, in a completely different story, it is also true that our family was approached last week by a casting director to be on a different upcoming TV show to be filmed in Nashville; this one will be called The Parenting Project, on the Lifetime Network, which is actually affiliated with Disney.

From what I can tell, The Parenting Project is also another variation of Wife Swap.

After reaching out to me on my Twitter account, the casting director and executive productive had a Skype meeting with my wife and me.

They really liked the fact we are a vegan/vegetarian family; no other family they were considered fit that rare demographic.

Ultimately, they were looking for a family with an older child.

And really, we’re not eager as a family to broadcast ourselves on reality TV. Granted, one of my life goals is to pay off our house early, so I’m always willing to consider a pitch if the money is there…

I always feel it is an honor to be approached for something like this. It indicates that I am doing something right here on my blog; Family Friendly Daddy Blog.

Because they found me. I didn’t go looking for them.

If nothing else, I can always appreciate that I’ve made new contacts in the entertainment industry thanks to these two recent pitches from major networks.

Of course, I’ve been making it no secret that I am deliberately attempting to get my own network series for my children’s show, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.

I believe the world is ready for the newest version of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood.

And I’m it.

That’s why I’m so diligent to keep writing, filming, producing, and publishing new webisodes of all original material.

I believe Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest demonstrates my talents and abilities as an actor, writer, musician, and adventurist and is able to captivate the attention and inspire the imaginations of children.

If you haven’t seen Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest yet, here’s your opportunity.

One day, my show will take off.

Until then, I will keep building my online resume, which is this blog, and perhaps more importantly, my YouTube channel.