30 weeks.

Dear Holly,

Tuesday night as I was finishing up dishes downstairs, I happened to hear the conversation going on upstairs, as Mommy was getting your brother Jack ready for bed.

I heard Jack telling Mommy, “Daddy gets toothpaste all over my mouth when he brushes my teeth in the morning. Daddy’s crazy!”

Mommy replied, “Yes, you’ve got a crazy Daddy and you’re lucky to have him.”

That made me feel all warm inside as I heard it.

I then decided to join the moment by sneaking upstairs with my new toy:

Earlier that day, thanks to a Barnes and Noble gift card I had received after helping out a friend, I was able to purchase a really cool pack rat puppet, from the brand Folkmanis.

I’ve named my new puppet Magellan the Mouse and he will be a new main character on web series, Uncle Nick’s Enchanted Forest.

Your brother Jack was standing at the top of the stairs, facing Mommy, as he was getting dressed for bedtime.

Quite successfully, I sneaked up the stairs without him realizing it, just inches away from his feet.

Using a Wisconsin accent, I used Magellan’s movable arms to grab Jack’s ankles, proclaiming, “I’m Magellan the Mouse.”

Though I definitely scared him, he was more excited than anything, to see a life-like puppet in action.

Jack then stuck his finger in Magellan’s mouth and began asking the puppet to start biting him because “it feels like a real rat biting me.”

That’s a glimpse of your upcoming life.

On any given night, you can likely expect something like this to be going on.

You will be raised by an eccentric Daddy who is always up to some new shtick to grow his YouTube audience in an effort to legitimately become a professional actor and entertainer.

Meanwhile, your brother will be crafting his own weird experiments, like placing his leftover Halloween candy into warm saltwater to watch it dissolve, as opposed to showing any interest or excitement in eating it.

Mommy’s the “normal” one. But by default, she can’t be all that normal when she is surrounded by Jack and me.

So where does that leave you? The next few years will help answer that question.

But I have a feeling that you will take after me in more ways than one.

Love,

Daddy