Since your Uncle Andrew introduced you to it, you’ve been requesting to watch “Too Spooky For Me” on YouTube:
As I just mentioned in Part Of My Job Is To Scare You, I explained how you actually enjoy me scaring you, as you hold on tightly to me for reinforcement of the fact that I’m here to protect you.
Well, last Thursday on the way to school, you announced, “Daddy, I want to go to a ghost and skeleton museum.”
I didn’t, and still don’t, actually know what you were asking of me. However, I’m your Daddy and it’s my job to provide; or at least, attempt to provide for your requests.
Hey, I like a challenge. I can be creative.
So this past weekend on our fall road trip from Nashville to Asheville, as we reviewed the 4G capabilities of the 2015 Buick LaCrosse, we visited one of those “big tent holiday stores” in the parking lot of the Asheville mall across from the new Whole Foods.
You and I went in together first, while Mommy was in the Ulta (some female store I’ve never heard of) as she used a gift card she had received for her birthday.
Then, once Mommy was finished, you asked to go back, this time as a family. It was important to you that Mommy got to see it too!
In theory, you were slightly terrified on the automated people and monsters. But that’s how committed you were to your request to visit a “ghost and skeleton” museum.
You never sincerely wanted to leave the tent; it was as if you needed to prove to yourself weren’t too scared to be there.
Since our visit, you have enjoyed impersonating the “old man trying to go potty” as seen when we first walked in; you can see it in this video:
On the way back to Nashville I asked you if you liked the “ghost and skeleton” museum.
Your confusing response was this: “Daddy, that wasn’t a ghost and skeleton museum! I wanted to see a skeleton of a ghost!”
Yeah, I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.
Love,
Daddy
P.S. Stay tuned for There’s Nothin’ Like Riding Through A Tunnel In The Car, the sequel to this story…
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I think I’ve said before, but as your Daddy, Halloween is one my favorite times of the year. Getting to see you dress up and have fun “seeing monsters” is really cool for me to get to experience with you.
Part of my job and my role as your Daddy is to reinforce the fact that I’m here to protect you. So even when I lead you to a situation where you are afraid, you know that I’m right there to keep you safe.
Granted, I would never scare you to the point of you authentically crying and having nightmares. Instead, I carefully gage your response to the situation…
This past weekend on our fall road trip from Nashville to Asheville, as we reviewed the 4G capabilities of the 2015 Buick LaCrosse, we visited avery foggy (!) apple orchard near Asheville, NC.
I carried you most of the time, and as we walked through the misty orchard, I kept pretending to be the voice of an “apple monster” who was angry that you were there to “take my apples.”
With your hood up on your hoodie, I whispered into your ear, “Jaaaaaaaack… don’t take my apples… go back to the hotel, Jack. I’m the Apple Monster.”
Looking back on this short video of the event, I can see your childlike faith causing you to wonder if you truly were hearing an Apple Monster.
The paradox is that at the same time, you knew it was just me; especially for the fact I was holding you.
Another illustration of this is the fact you kept asking to play “Hide and Seek” in the hotel room.
You would stand on the air conditioning unit while looking out the window as you counted; meanwhile, I would hide on the other end of the suite.
I love your adventurous spirit, as you can see in this video, how you so joyfully run to go find me, knowing I’m just going to literally jump out and scare you! (I was standing on top of the couch.)
Yes, I scare you. But I know you love it. You indeed crave that from me. So I give you these “bravery lessons” accordingly.
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This past weekend on our fall road trip from Nashville to Asheville, as we reviewed the 4G capabilities of the 2015 Buick LaCrosse, you passed some of the time by drawing pictures in the back seat with Mommy.
I was focused on the road, but peripherally I heard you say, “Look Mommy, I drew a picture of a freak… wearing a backpack!”
Sure enough, you did.
Your picture of the “freak wearing a backpack” actually reminded me of those creatures from Spy Vs. Spy in Mad magazine; or the Yoyo the dodo bird from Looney Tunes.
Mommy and I questioned you on where you heard the word “freak.” We assumed you heard it at school or even by watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants in the hotel when you first woke up.
You told us you just made up the word. I believe you. It’s not the first time you’ve made up a word; it’s just that this particular word actually made sense in context.
When I asked you what a freak is, you casually responded, “It’s just a kind of monster, Daddy.”
Fair enough. Makes sense to me. And though I’m not sure what the significance is in him wearing a backpack, but I like it.
And your Freak Wearing A Backpack is a prime example of why I appreciate what you do.
I love the way you are so specific to whatever you are creating, with such passion and concern, and that your art projects are typically something so randomly themed.
Freak Wearing A Backpack almost sounds like it could easily be the name of an actual work of art on display in a museum in New York City or something.
The “freak” is wearing a backpack. I’m just taking that in right now.
That’s awesome.
Love,
Daddy
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So last weekend I broke my Grandma out of the nursing home without anyone knowing it, then I pushed her in her wheelchair a mile down the road while she wore a “seatbelt” we made from a rolled up blanket…
Wait, actually, that’s probably not the best way to start this story. Let me try again.
The last time my Grandma had seen her younger brother Bob was back in the summer of 1987, back when I was six years old, when we took a family vacation road trip to Buffalo, New York where my Grandma and my mom are from.
That was 27 years ago…
But then randomly this year, my great-Uncle Bob decided that he wanted to visit my Grandma (his sister) by train with his girlfriend (he’s never been in a plane and he’s only left the state of New York once).
So I decided it would definitely be worth the 2 and a half hour drive from Nashville where we live, to my hometown in Alabama; taking my own family (my wife Jill and my son Jack) to witness this great reunion- 27 years in the making!
And to make things even more fun, we were able to review the 2014 Lexus GX 460 in the process. Which, for the record, was my personal favorite out of all the many Lexus vehicles I have reviewed within the past year.
The way it drove reminded me of the Toyota Tacoma, my favorite Toyota vehicle, which I reviewed on my 33rd birthday back in April.
My wife Jill appreciated was how spacious the 2014 Lexus GX 460 is. We had to transport some of our son’s toys to my parents’ house; as we are in the process of building a new house (as I recently wrote about when I reviewed the 2014 Lexus GS 450h) and needed a place to store some things.
Meanwhile, my son Jack loved the stadium seating in the back because he could see everything that I could from the driver’s seat. Also, it has a 3rdrow seat from can fold up from the very back.
He convinced us to let him sit in the very back for the entire round trip! Not to mention, to and from school a few days as well.
I was surprised at how easy it was to hear Jack and Jill all the way back there. (I’m sure many educated people at Lexus have labored countless hours over making sure the sound carries that well!)
The visibility from the driver’s seat also greatly impressed me as well. I can’t remember the last time I drove a vehicle with better visibility than the 2014 Lexus GX 460.
So we arrived at my Grandma’s nursing home and along with my dad’s help, were able to lift my Grandma from her wheelchair to the car.
In the process, I also “re-met” my great-Uncle Bob while there, who of course didn’t recognize me as a grown adult. As we talked, I learned from him that it was nearly 100 years ago, in 1923, that his own parents moved to New York from Michoacán, in southern Mexico; though he nor my Grandma ever really spoke Spanish.
The whole family met as a whole back at my sister’s house, just a mile away from the nursing home.
First, we celebrated by brother-in-law (who apparently happens to look a lot like me) turning 30 years old.
Then we headed outside to the “jumpy castle” as Jack and his cousin Calla burned off extra energy they mysteriously gained from not having to take a nap that day.
And of course, we checked out the storm shelter, which has sort of become the routine when we visit.
Next we had a plant-based (vegan) lunch, prepared by my sister…
Followed by an instantly made-up game of “bean bag bumper cars”…
That’s about the time we got a call from the nursing home. Turns out, none of us even thought to actually sign my grandma out. And coincidentally, no one working there noticed us wheeling her out the front door!
The workers were so glad to hear that we had Grandma with us instead of, I guess, her somehow escaping (?) on her own.
However, by that time she was ready to get back to her home. The thing was, she was afraid to be lifted back up into a vehicle for the 0.925 miles back.
We did what every all-American family would have done in the same situation:
My sister and her husband rolled up a large blanket, then I MacGyvered it into a home-made seatbelt. And now this particular photo collage begins to make more sense…
After all, despite it only being about a mile away, the journey was all hills.
Fortunately, my daily routine of mountain biking during my lunch break had conditioned my body to be able to get my Grandma to her destination in less than 15 minutes. She even got to catch a glimpse of the County Fair a few blocks away.
Before we left the next morning, we made sure to snap a few pictures of our family.
Since my brother-in-law/look-alike turned 30 recently, and until Jack turns 4 next month, it means that we are living in a time when my wife and I are both 33, my sister and her husband are both 30, and their daughter Calla and our son Jack are both 3.
So we figured we should take an official picture of this cool “3-30-33” moment.
And that just goes to show that anytime my family gets together, it’s never “normal.”
But it is fun.
If you were entertained by this story, then be on the look-out what happened after we drove back to Nashville to see a Dierks Bentley concert that my wife won tickets for!
Car Review Stats:
2014 Lexus 9700A GX 460 5-DR SUV
4.6 liter V8, 301 horsepower
17 mpg average, 15 city, 20 highway
as shown: $55,505.00
See all 4 posts on the 2014 Lexus 9700A GX 460 5-DR SUV:
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Sunday night, randomly during the middle of dinner, after a very busy, non-stop, adventurous weekend with Mommy and me, you turned to me and made a proclamation:
“Daddy, you’re too small and you’re a bad boy!”
It was one of those times when I just froze, in order to keep from laughing at the absurdity of your unprovoked “insult” to me. I didn’t want to encourage your behavior by allowing you to see me smiling.
I recognize that you’re not yourself when you’re that tired and hungry. While Mommy and I did have to verbally explain to you that that’s not how you talk to me or her, I have to admit I can’t legitimately count statements like that as “bad behavior.”
As I hope will be reflected in my upcoming interview in Nashville’s The Tennessean, I recognize there are 3 main reasons why you “act up.” You’re either tired, hungry, or in need of attention.
There has yet to be a reason for you “getting in trouble” other than those 3 things.
I feel that as your Daddy, it’s up to me to help provide for those needs. It’s my job to make sure you get your naps and bedtime in according to your schedule, to give you food when you’re hungry (even though you yourself don’t realize you’re hungry), and to interact with you when you’re needing conversation.
In other words, you never just come out and say, “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired” or “I want someone to pay attention to me.”
Instead, you “misbehave.”
And I can relate: When I’m tired, hungry, and for lack of a better phrase, “in need of attention,” I’m the same way.
But going back to what you told me, I’m still cracking up that you randomly informed me that I’m too small and a bad boy.
Mommy suggested that your insult was based on reoccurring storylines from Thomas & Friends episodes where, so often, the plot line revolves around one of the trains being too small to pull the freight.
As for the “bad boy” part, I think that’s you referencing other boys at school who get in trouble on a regular basis.
So, I’m too small and I’m a bad boy.
Not bad for an insult from a nearly 4 year-old.
Love,
Daddy
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