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This is 36: I Got the “I’m Not a Soccer Dad” Haircut

I should start by acknowledging that I honestly never expected to still have this much hair by the time I was age 36. Subconsciously, since high school, I had just always assumed that by the time I was in my mid 30s and was married and had 2 kids, I would be lucky to still even have a decent island of real estate up there.

Because that’s just what happens to men. I suppose I’ve just always simply viewed men’s hair loss as a common trait of masculinity.

Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Like Bald Bull on Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Like Mr. Clean.

There’s no shame in it. In fact, it’s weird to me that some men, like Ronald Reagan and Tony Danza and Anthony Bourdain, never lost their hair.

What is normal is for a man to lose his hair, not keep it.

And even now, it’s only a matter of time; a question of how many years until I lose so much hair that I do the cool thing and just shave my head for the rest of my life. I am so prepared for this!

Yet strangely, I still have hair. For now.

For me, the danger of being a married, 36 year-old father of 2 who still has hair, is that I could fall in danger of being labelled as a “soccer dad.”

While I’m sure to many, the term soccer dad is a term of endearment and not a negative one, for me, it’s a concept I’m resisting.

Like wearing khaki pants with New Balance running shoes. No thanks.

I fully embrace and celebrate my age of 36. But for me, I don’t want to get stuck in a certain year of my life. I believe in continually reinventing myself. That’s psychologically important to who I am as a person.

And that’s why I decided to make 2017 the year of the “I’m Not a Soccer Dad” Hairstyle.

It’s basically a longer version of a crew cut, as it’s longer in the front (2 inches) than it is in the back. What makes this hairstyle particularly edgy and trendy, is the “disconnected” part on the side:

Where my hair is parted, there is no fade from the 2 inch length on top to the #4 guard (and #2) on the sides and back, which comes up pretty high.

No one is going to call me a soccer dad looking like this.

As Bruce Springsteen once said, “I’m a cool rockin’ daddy in the U.S.A.”

This is 36.

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This is 36: The CD Player in My Paid Off, 13 Year-Old Car Stopped Working… So I Now I Use My Shattered iPod from 2006

I have first world problems. And even then, the word “problems” is a ridiculous overstatement.

Two weeks ago, the CD player in my old (but paid off) 2004 Honda Element stopped working. I had just purchased every Metallica album for $5.99 on clearance at Best Buy… where they are apparently doing away with selling CDs now that most people just download or stream their music.

(In case you’re not aware of my premature mid-life crisis where I suddenly became a huge Metallica fan and legitimately taught myself to skateboard, read all about it here.)

So now, sitting in the cubby of my dash, there are several CDs that I have yet to wear out, including others I have kept in heavy rotation- until now.

It’s important to note that as a skilled driver in the Nashville area, I have accepted my fate that I will be in the car for a total minimum of 2 hours each day, to drive only about 38 total miles round trip for my daily commute for work.

Just me in the car with my thoughts for two hours, every day.

I depend on that solitude. It is good for my brain and good for my soul.

And that solitude has always been undeniably enhanced by the kinesthetic routine of physically placing whatever CD that I feel like listening to at the moment into the CD player to play through the speakers.

No streaming or digital files. Just a CD. Like in high school in the 1999.

But now, that American right has been taken away.

And it’s definitely not worth buying a new CD player for my car.

Hopefully, I won’t be getting a new car anytime soon. That’s right- hopefully, I won’t.

Last year between having a baby, paying cash for a new car for my wife, taking a big family vacation, and having multiple hospital stays for our kids… this year is all about saving our money to eventually buy me a new car in cash like we did for my wife.

I need my faithful Honda Element to hold up until we can buy me a new car, which will be well over a year. It’s almost like I pray every time turn I turn the key in the ignition, “Please don’t let this be the day it doesn’t start…”

With us being Dave Ramsey followers, I would feel horrible about myself if I had to finance a new vehicle. It goes against who I am as a person.

So here’s who I am as a person: I now proudly drive while listening to a busted iPod that has a battery that dies by the end of my 2 hour round trip commute, even though it’s fully charged when I leave the house.

Anything from before 2007 is on there, though. Time to get reacquainted with The Wallflowers and Sister Hazel.

This is 36.

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This is 36: My Wife and I are Rarely Seen Together in Public, Despite Being Happily Married

Saturday afternoon was a peculiar occurrence: Had you been invited to Zeke’s birthday party in Spring Hill, Tennessee, then you would have seen both me and my wife there together, at the same time. That doesn’t happen often!

This is the part of the blog post where you either A) instantly identify with this concept, or B) are very confused right now as to why seeing a happily married couple together in public is an odd phenomenon.

In case you fall into the 2nd category, which I doubt you do if you are reading this, here’s how it works:

My wife and I both work full-time jobs in which we both have to commute about 2 hours round trip. Not to mention, we both are responsible for housework. While my wife definitely carries the heavier part of that burden, I also work two side jobs for supplemental income: this blog and my YouTube channel.

When the weekend finally comes, it typically consists of me staying home with the kids while my wife goes out and buys the groceries and runs other necessary errands. By the time the afternoon rolls around, she’s usually ready to stay home with the baby and I’m eager to get out with our son.

Therefore I take him out to whatever birthday party he’s been invited to, or to new Marvel movie that is out… or we just go hiking alongside a creek.

And during the week, I’m dropping off the kids at school and my wife is picking them up. So their teachers have basically never see the two of us together.

But this past Saturday, our whole family woke up early because Great Clips was having their phantom $6.99 haircut sale, so my son and I were there when the doors opened at 8:00 AM. That sped up all the other events of the morning.

Therefore, my wife felt like going to Zeke’s birthday party and taking the baby. And alas, we showed up together.

Granted, our son has been invited to another birthday party this coming Saturday at Chuck E. Cheese’s. I seriously doubt my wife will be there.

It’s just a rare thing to see me and my wife together in public.

This is 36.

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Dear Holly: Your Hysterical Crazed Reaction to Getting Your 1st American Girl Doll on Your 1st Birthday

1 year.

Dear Holly,

Back in December, Mommy and I proactively bought your main birthday gift. We picked Willa, the American Girl doll, as she seemed to best match your complexion and personality.

After months of living in a closet, Willa finally got to meet you this week for your 1st birthday!

I will never forget your reaction to realizing what was in that box, as you were tearing off the wrapping paper. Once you saw her face smiling through the plastic window, you literally jumped out of Mommy’s arms and scurried on top of the box.

Mommy picked you up and lifted the box up so you get a better look. Your eyes opened wider than I’ve ever seen before. It was a crazed, and hysterical, look you had.

You were immediately fanatical, as if to say, “Hey, how do I help her get out of there?!”

I must say, I saw a side of you I had never seen before. It was as if a new part of your personality became unlocked.

Granted, you authentically loved the Guardians of the Galaxy raccoon I had gotten you just a few days before; which is marketed more as a boy’s toy. You naturally can appreciate a toy that is not specifically a “girl’s toy”, which is also evidenced by your fascination with your brother’s Monster Jam monster truck he lets you play with each morning before school, as I’m packing everything in my car.

However, it was very obvious that as a sweet little girl, you instinctively were connected to Willa, the American Girl doll.

It was a thrill for me to see you that way. I am just so happy I get to watch my little girl grow up.

I guess you’re starting the American Girl doll obsession early.

Love,

Daddy

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This is 36: I’m No Longer in Denial that It’s Difficult (and Stressful!) for Our Family to Make It To Church on Time

Is there any such thing as a family who doesn’t struggle to arrive to church before the service actually begins? Perhaps equally challenging is to show up without being stressed out or upset with each other.

The pastor of The Bridge Church, Josh Howerton, brings this up frequently- how ironic it is that it’s normal to fight in the car all the way to church, then put instantly put on smiles once the car ride is over and you walk through the doors of the church.

Last Saturday night, I decided to attempt to prevent this problem. And it actually worked- as simple as my plan was. Here’s what I did…

First, I initiated the conversation with my wife, acknowledging that our family is habitually late for church, and it’s typically a stressful morning, and that I wanted to do my part to change that.

So I asked her specifically what time we all needed to be up in the morning, so that everyone would have ample time to get ready in time.

Then I set my own alarm to the new time, to ensure that I led my family in our slight routine change.

I have to admit, it was a peaceful morning. It was enjoyable, actually. We even got to church early enough for one of the church greeters to take our family’s picture; to make up for the fact we forgot to do an obligatory Easter picture of our family for Facebook the week before.

So apparently that’s what it takes. It requires specific planning. But it all begins with the parents recognizing that an easygoing, on-time car ride to church is not the default.

I feel I am no longer in the denial of believing my family is the exception to the rule when it comes to the cliché stressful car ride to church.

And because of that, I am proactive enough now to change that for my family.

Here’s to getting the family to church on time and without the stress… for the 2nd time in a row.

This is 36.