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Behind the Music: My New Original Song about Emotional Intelligence, “Maybe It’s a Dream” by Nick Shell

It might be easy to forget at this point in my life, but when I moved to Nashville back on September 11th, 2005, it was because I wanted to build a career in music; as I have been singing, writing songs, and playing the guitar for over two decades.

However, my focus changed about a year and a half after I moved to Nashville, when I met my wife. Two kids and a decade later, the music thing has been on hiatus.

But this week, I decided to finally record a song I’ve been working on for four years.

It’s called “Maybe It’s a Dream”. The song is about the journey of emotionally intelligence; what it’s like living in the paradox of now understanding how it’s a conscious decision to realize that other people only affect my emotions if I give them permission; and that once I began taking control over that part of my life and I unplugged from that master of puppets system, it made me feel both more alive, yet more isolated from the world.

When I started writing the song, I was 32 years old; I just beginning to learn about emotional intelligence. Now, less than a month away from turning 37, I feel like I am becoming on expert on focusing on what I can control, not on what I can not: including other people.

The opening line of the song, “I am a skeleton with meat on my bones”, is my way of acknowledging the ability to separate others’ perception of who they think I am, versus my own perception of who I think I am. In reality, my identity is somewhere in between.

Later on in the song, I admit, “My perspective of reality will die with me.”

We live in somewhat of an illusion of who we think we are, and we struggle to not worry about what other people think about us; yet in reality, how others collectively perceive us ultimately is part of who we actually are.

So it’s even more groundbreaking of a concept when a person chooses to control their own emotions exclusively; not giving permission to others to “hurt” their feelings or offend them.

This leads to a sense of a confused state of being for a guy like me: “Maybe it’s a dream. Is this even real?”

In other words, if I can control so much of my life now that I understand only I control the breaker switch of my own emotions, life starts to feel a little bit like I’m part of some grand scheme of a social experiment. Maybe this is my version of The Truman Show.

I hope you enjoy my song and I hope you can personally relate to it in some way. It is truly an extension of my identity. To understand who I am (or at least who I think I am) is to understand this song.

1 Comment Posted on Health, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized, vegan

Dear Jack: You Took Care of Your Sister While I Was Sick This Week

7 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

I don’t get sick… especially ever since I became a vegan over 5 years ago, when even most of my allergy and sinus problems went away. However, this week has been the exception to the rule.

Exactly a week ago, right as the dogwood trees turned from white to pink, it was like I was overtaken by the flu. (I can’t be sure what it’s like to have the flu, since I’ve never had the flu before; nor have I ever had a flu shot.)

My body began aching all over. My throat swelled up. My appetite went away.

And when Mommy checked my temperature, it was 103!

Last Friday, especially, was just a blur to me. I remember Mommy had to stay home because I pretty much just stayed in bed all day and slept. I really couldn’t do anything else anyway; I couldn’t even stand up straight or walk, without falling over.

For the past week, I have been living off of allergy pills and smoothies. Each day, I have felt a little better. Finally, today, I feel mostly back to normal.

Yeah, apparently it was just a really bad reaction to the pollen. I wasn’t actually sick; in terms of needing to go to a doctor. I didn’t have the flu. At least I don’t think so.

I can easily imagine how much worse things would have been for me if I was still eating dairy. I would have ended up with a sinus infection. Instead, my sinuses were completely clear. I am a vegan out of necessity- and it’s times like these I am violently reminded of that.

During all of this, you have been a major help to me. You could see I wasn’t myself.

So you took it upon yourself to help your sister. You filled in for me.

You helped get her snacks. You helped entertain her by getting her craft supplies. You even helped her rest after she got tired of playing.

It’s been a rough week, but you made it a little better for me. Thank you!

Love,

Daddy

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Your 1st Harmonica Lesson

1 year, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

Now that I am basically building my own side business by writing articles with accompanying videos for companies to promote them in social media, you have seen me pull out my guitar a little bit more, as I craft and create unique music each for the videos.

As you were sitting at my feet while I played guitar a few days ago, you wandered over to my guitar case and found my harmonica. I actually had forgotten I left it there. So you did me a favor when you found it.

I immediately thanked you, “Oh Holly, good job! Now I can play my harmonica again!”

It had been several months since you saw me play it, but the moment I put the harmonica to my lips, your eyes lit up, knowing what you were about to hear.

Once you heard the first note, you were already reaching for the harmonica. I was caught off guard by eagerness to play the instrument.

So I let you have it.

This resulted in you basically biting the harmonica, but I can tell you were attempting to actually blow air into it, or breathe in; either of which would have resulted in musical sound.

Your first harmonica lesson was mainly just about you becoming familiar with holding the instrument and attempting to make any sound at all. I figure that’s typical for the first music lesson for most musical instruments.

We’ll see where this thing goes.

In my mind, it’s a given that I’ll be teaching your brother to play guitar.

But I admit, I would be equally honored to teach you the guitar as well. I can already imagine you as a teenager girl wearing a dress with cowboy boots, playing the guitar and singing; thanks to Daddy’s lessons.

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. To see me playing harmonica, check out this video I made before you were born…

2 Comments Posted on car reviews, Uncategorized, Writing

Social Media Kit for Family Friendly Daddy Blog by Nick Shell

Here on Family Friendly Daddy Blog, I am in a very special niche that allows me to be easily visible from an SEO perspective.

As far as numbers that marketers would be interested in, here is the mid-March 2018 update. Just click on each link to go directly to each account.

Facebook Fan Page for This Blog: 1,110

Personal Facebook Page: 1,328

Twitter: 749

Instagram: 342

Blog YouTube Channel Subscribers: 667

Personal YouTube Channel Subscribers: 3,539

Blog Subscribers: 710

Average monthly: 14,000 views

Average daily: 500 views

While my numbers may not seem amazing, I have learned over the years, that ultimately, companies continue to reach out to me, on their end, to receive publicity from me anyway.

Again, it’s because I am in a niche, with a blog that’s updated weekly and has been around for nearly a decade. People find my blog very easily and very accidentally. That’s why marketers like me enough to reach out to me.

Here are a few examples of companies who reached out to me for publicity on my site:

Lexus (This is one of several examples where they sent a vehicle from Atlanta, to my home in Nashville, for a week, complete with a full tank of gas; so that I would model it with my family.)

Toyota (In addition to also sending me dozens of vehicles over the years, as Lexus has, Toyota recently flew me down to Florida for an all expense-paid road trip to drive their newest model cars to see the MLB Grapefruit League tournament.)

James Avery Artisan Jewelry (They paid me to feature their Valentine’s collection, in addition to giving my wife a gift card to buy their jewelry.)

Additionally, I am bombarded on a weekly basis by fellow bloggers who request to do a “guest blog post” on my site; to boost their own SEO. This happens so often, I had to create a page here on my blog, explaining I now have to charge for that service.

So for me, I am comfortable knowing my numbers aren’t the biggest, but that I am relevant enough as a daddy blogger, that well-known, reputable companies reach out to me, to serve as a social media influencer for them.

If you are interested in working with me, you can contact me at this email address:

nickshell1983@hotmail.com

1 Comment Posted on People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

My Photograph is Being Used Without My Permission and Unpaid, In an Ad Featured on ESPN.com (Or, “My Face is Clickbait for the Lotto, Even Though I Don’t Believe in Playing the Lotto”)

Apparently, I have the face an everyday Joe who happens to be smart enough to figure out how to win the Lotto 7 times.

This morning a friend from college sent me a screen shot of an article on ESPN, asking me this question:

“Hey – I took this screen shot at the bottom of an ESPN article. Is this you? And if it is, did you know your likeness is being used?”

The answer is yes, that’s my picture; and no, I did not know my photo was being used to promote a story about the Lotto.

It’s very easy to prove that’s a picture of me above the clickbait article, “A 7-Time Lotto Winner Reveals the Big Mistake You Make When Playing the Lotto”.

They simply cropped the title card from my 6th most popular YouTube video, “What a #1 Guard Buzz Cut Looks Like With a Receding Hairline”.

I published that video back on December 20th, 2015, and since then, it has received over 49K views.

So I laboriously scrolled ESPN.com until I found the article. When I clicked on it, the actual article does not feature my picture; and title of the article changes to simply, “How to Increase Your Chances of Winning the Lotto”.

However, I was unable to share the article from my phone: lottodaily.lifestyleguide.pro/lotto/

It comes up as an invalid website when you search that or any of the content from the article.

So it’s as if the click-bait article was deliberately coded in a way that it can not be Googled; the only way to get to it is to click on the ad from a 3rd party.

Some major irony in me being forced against my knowledge or permission to be the face of click-bait, is that I fundamentally do not believe in playing the lottery.

For me, it’s not a moral issue. Instead, it’s common sense one. I see the lottery as “a tax for people who are bad at math.” This concept is only reinforced in movies like Casino and The Godfather, Part II.

While I quickly admit I am definitely bad at math, which is why I’m naturally more skilled in writing and communication, I am a follower of Dave Ramsey. Therefore, it goes against my identity to play the Lotto.

I definitely do not endorse the lottery, nor did I win the lottery 7 times.

However, I do own the rights to the photo, and when you click on my YouTube video, you’ll see that I published it on December 20th, 2015; nearly 2 and a half years ago. It’s time stamped.

This reminds me of an article I read back in November 2017, where a photographer’s photo of VHS cassettes were stolen, to be used as part of Netflix’s Stranger Things boxed set.

It also reminds me of another article I read yesterday about how SnapChat’s value dropped $577 million in value when Rihanna’s picture was used without her permission in a tasteless ad.

Here’s a convenient side by side comparison proving that’s my picture; the ESPN ad on the left, and my YouTube channel on the right:

So what do I do now? Does ESPN have any responsibility in this? Now that I have tweeted this story to them, they are officially aware that one of their sponsors is using my image against my will; and even worse; not crediting me or paying me for my image, which is part of the reason people are clicking on the lotto story.

Or is it left to me to go on a wild goose chase, in an attempt to find the 3rd party of a 3 party who is recycling this lotto story, yet not making it possible to directly find their website.

After all, TopLifestyleTips, the website named below my photo in the ad, is not an existing website. Here’s what happens when you Google TopLifestyleTips along with A 7-Time Lotto Winner Reveals the Big Mistake You Make When Playing the Lotto.

Under normal circumstances, that would bring up the existing article right away. The company responsible for using my photo without my permission, or at least any compensation, is doing a great job of hiding within plain sight.

Until then, I feel trapped in a Black Mirror episode, where my image is perpetually used to promote an idea I am fundamentally against, and am not even paying paid to participate in.