I’ve only had an Instagram account for about 6 months now, but I can’t help but notice an ongoing theme: My son’s sense of humor is beyond his years… and mine. The thing is, I’m not convinced he’s trying to be funny. And that’s what makes it so great.

After one of on my most recent Instagram posts, I had one of his my son’s fan’s suggest I do a sort of “best of” compilation. I decided to go for it.

By scrolling below, you will be able to see my top 20 my most favorite Instagram posts featuring my son’s most confusing/bizarre/genius/awesome quotes, ideas, and artwork; spanning from November 2015 through April 2016.

I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to keep a straight face. Feel free to share with me which of these is your favorite and tell me why.

And if you’re not already following me on Instagram, there’s a good chance that this blog post today will convince you to do so: @nickshellwrites

#1 “The wolf is peeing in a bag and there is a suction cup on the bag that connects to the bottom.”

#2 “She has the chain so she can fly… and so she can’t get away.”

#3 According to Jack’s drawing today at school, dragons really did breathe fire. Looks like there was more than one way to breathe it out.”

#4 “The whale had gas and then the fish swam by and got stuck in the stink, then it all went back up the whale’s butt.”

#5 “He eats the spaghetti and meatballs and then he potties them right into the toilet.”

#6 “It’s a mommy baby and a baby baby and they are just wearing diapers.”

#7 “The machines are taking the needles out of the seal ghost.”

#8 Jack explained that we were reading his love letter to Mommy upside-down. I guess that’s better than what we thought?

#9 Jack secretly drew a picture today at school of a dog doubly relieving himself in the yard next to an ant hill.

#10 Jack took it upon himself to do a sequel to yesterday’s innovative piece… this time with a cat doubly relieving himself. He specifically told me he drew it for Mommy.

#11 “Look, Pandy is in the Air Force now. She has swords.”

#12 “The truck isn’t hauling Easter eggs… they’re poop balls.”

#13 “The bad tree is spraying the monster so the monster is shooting him with a lightning bolt.”

#14 He made the 10 Commandments out of cookies and icing at church this morning…but he’s already eaten 5 of them.

#15 “The lightning hit the building and then the sneaky mischievous fire said, “Hey, what are we going to do today?”

#16 Not sure why I came home to a trail of 5 hand-crafted paper bag cat puppets leading from the front door to the kitchen. My son has yet to explain.

#17 He was the only kid in his Sunday School class to decorate his cross with a two-headed dragon.

#18 “Hey Daddy, someday can we go to Indiana? I heard you can get the Mr. Happy book there.”

#19 Jack insisted I take a picture of him as a “slime pirate”. So here it is.

#20 I thought something felt weird all day in my shoe. My 5 year-old son quickly, and proudly, confessed.

Now, which was your favorite and why? And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram: @nickshellwrites