New status symbol now unlocked: I have reached the point in my life where I look forward to, and truly enjoy, family vacations.
Last summer when we travelled to Oregon, I thought it might have just been a fluke. But no, as a 43 year-old husband married to a 43 year-old wife, along with our 14 year-old son and 8 year-old daughter, we are collectively in a place where family vacations are fun, relaxing, and meaningful.
This past week while we were on family vacation, I was intensely aware of the fact that “these are the good old days”…
As I took each photo of my family in real time, it was not lost on me that I already have everything I want and need right here in front of me. That this is what happily ever after looks like.
I am not looking to the future for things to finally “get better”. No, we have now arrived at our destination.
The entire vacation itself has become the “highlight reel”, as opposed to me finding the best exceptional moments in a week-long series of trigger points for my blood pressure to rise and then for me to emotionally shut down.
No more whining in the backseat. No more fighting over which child “gets to sit next to Mommy” at the restaurant. No more annoying drawn-out bath time or bedtime routines.
No more diapers. No more sippy cups. No more strollers. No more car seats. No more naps.
I have graduated from all of that.
Um… so this is great.
Monday morning, I drove a little over 5 hours to the Gulf Coast, while the kids slept in the backseat and as my wife read us the book, The Let Them Theory.
Then we stayed in a condo right there on the water, but not on one of those overcrowded beaches where loud drunk people would ruin the ambience. Even when we did leave for coffee or lunch, we never needed to drive more than a few miles away.
No traffic. No paying to park. No silly “Lightning Lane” passes.
By the 2nd day of our trip, I told my wife, “This is something beyond a family vacation. This is a family retreat.”
It was very noticeable that each of the 4 of us were truly at ease and connected with one another. No distractions. No obligations. Nothing to be but ourselves.
And I think for me specifically, I needed to see what this looks like.
For years now, I have studied, researched, and even published a book on Enneagram. I am fascinated to learn who everyone is underneath how they behave on the outside.
I love being able to understand how to relate better with all people in my life, but especially my own family.
It is a gift for me to be able see my wife and my kids, as well as myself, for who we fundamentally and individually are. I think that’s a lot of the reason why our Spring Break vacation felt like a family retreat. It’s not just about the kids being less needy and more mature.
Instead, it’s because nearly a year into our move from Tennessee and essentially “rebooting” our lives in a slower pace in Alabama, the fog has cleared. I think all of us are able to see each other in a new light.
My 2 Wing 3 wife and daughter are ambitious, selfless, and sociable.
My 5 Wing 4 son is curious, creative, and reserved.
And much to my surprise, yet no one else’s, I am actually 8 Wing 7: pragmatic, assertive, and charismatic.
So as far as status symbols go, I don’t need a fancy car or a big mansion or expensive clothes. Just let me live a life where I can actually enjoy vacations with my family.
That’s enough for me.
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