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“Who is the Ghost, Here?” – Song 14 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

This song serves as proof to me that it was 2 and a half years ago, on April 9, 2022, that I first started becoming aware of my personal Enneagram 6 complex: the constant yet somewhat muted feeling that I don’t matter; the feeling that I am invisible to the world.

During The Covid Lockdown, I was put on furlough for a few months from my employer. So I was in my own house, without a job, with my family; consisting of kids who were not able to go to school.

As an Enneagram 6, it is very important to me that I understand what my role is.

What jump-started me writing this song was when morning when my wife walked by as I was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, “It’s so cold in this house.”

My wife is always cold. Keep in mind, she said this in April.

When she said that, it inspired me to write a song about a person who questioned whether life as a ghost would actually feel anymore disconnected from society than an actual living person.

I feel that this song is the epitome of what if feels like to be an Enneagram 6. You can see my 5 wing in the attempt to accept life and death for what they are; unexplainable and unpredictable.

My 7 wing shows in my anxiety about potential restlessness during eternity.

The themes you see in these lyrics will continue throughout so many songs I have written since:

It’s so cold in this house, I can’t feel my bones – There’s people walking around but is this even my home? Did I? Did I? Did I die? Did I? Did I? Did I survive? Who is the ghost, here? Which one of us moved on? Who is the ghost here? Which one of us is in a better place? Can I walk through walls? Can I walk on water? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? What if I get restless while I live forever? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? Most people who have ever lived are now buried in this Earth – The dead know something we don’t – Until we join them, I guess we won’t – I see the dark, I see the light – I see my body from up so high

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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“If the Atheists are Right” – Song 12 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 12th song, released on March 30, 2020, was likely written being guided by my less dominant 5 Wing. When writing this song, my idea was to approach the most popular ideas of what people think happens when we die; from a rational and non-dramatic perspective.

(I remember when I wrote the melody to this song, it appeared in my head while I was pumping gas at the gas station. I took out my phone and recorded the melody right there.)

It truly is fascinating to me that no one alive on Earth right now can truly know what happens when we die, but instead, we all have some sort of faith-based belief… which basically falls into one of the categories that I present in the lyrics:

If the atheists are right about what happens when we die – The screen will fade to black and that is that – No memories or consciousness will continue to exist – No confirmation of whose views were right – That is if the atheists are right about what will happen when we die – If the Jews are right about what happens when we die – Nothing really seems to come to mind – If there’s a life beyond the grave it is not for us to say – All that matters happens in this life – That is if the Jews are right about what will happen when we die – If the Muslims are right about what happens when we die – It’s punishment or it’s paradise – So do your best to be good enough, more positive than negative – Then just hope it all measures up – That is if the Muslims are right about when will happen when we die – If the Christians are right about what happens when we die – Jesus is the way, the truth, the life – So love your neighbor as yourself and trust that God will do the rest – You choose the path to heaven or hell – That is if the Christians are right about what will happen when we die – So tell me what will happen when we die?

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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“I Still Believe” – Song 10 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My 10th song happened to be the last one I published before The Covid Shutdown began. I released this song on March 11, 2020; whereas the shutdown began on March 15th.

Looking back, this song would serve as the first official of several entries in the category of “Christian Questioning His Faith”. Granted, “The Meaning of Life“, my 5th song, hinted at this theme too.

Much of the doubts I was sorting through (and still am), involve me accepting the idea that a loving God allows people to suffer in this world; as well as for eternity for those who don’t believe in Him.

That is difficult me to process. It was challenging 2 and a half years ago- and it still is now, in 2022.

As the lyrics relate to me being Enneagram 6 (and not knowing that I was when I wrote this in 2020), the Enneagram 6 personality is known as ironically being both the loyal and the skeptic.

Knowing that, these lyrics are a perfect representation of that concept:

I’ve never had more faith, I’ve never had more doubt – With so many questions I’ll never figure out – My faith is so strong, I admit I could be wrong – Or does that make me weak? Still I believe I believe, I believe – Oh, I’m less of a saint, more of a sinner – Saved by grace, I know my place – I never wanted free will, nor do I still – I’m an imperfect person, I can not be trusted – But I believe, I believe I still believe, I still believe – I don’t need to understand what I can’t – And if I could it wouldn’t do any good – Choose for yourself this day whom you will serve – As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord – God bless this house, God bless this home – God bless our children as we watch them grow – I believe, I believe -Your kingdom come, your will be done – This is what I pray, I hope I don’t get in the way – I’m not of this world, only in this world -Every good thing I have comes from the Lord – I believe, I believe

So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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“The Meaning of Life” – Song 5 – Enneagram 6 Songwriter – Analyzing Lyrics – Themes of Belonging and Security

My wife joins me again in my 5th song, which probably wins the prize for the fewest lyrics of any song I’ve written in my life. More important, though, is the dark tone in the concept of this song.

It may be subtle, but in later songs, I revisit the personal confusion I face here in this song (published on November 6th, 2019) with my own understanding of Christian theology:

To possibly end up in hell, despite never choosing to be born with a sinful nature. For an introspective Enneagram 6 like me, I have always lived in anxiety about how happens to our consciousness after we die.

Even outside of the Christian faith, it is regularly assumed that one’s understanding of and carrying out of the meaning of one’s life is ultimately connected to entry to the afterlife.

Here are the lyrics:

“Is it heaven or hell in the end? Or do we fade to a black screen? It came without warning – I never asked to be born – Time is not on our side as we’re finding the meaning of life – I choose faith and hope but there’s no way of knowing – Until it’s too late if I’m wrong, will I know it?”

So looking back on this song I wrote nearly 4 years ago, can you see the Enneagram 6? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish:

 

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Dear Jack: You Got Baptized, 2 Days Before Your 11th Birthday

11 years old.

Dear Jack,

The Sunday before your 11th birthday, less than two weeks ago, our church (Southview Church) was having its quarterly baptism service. After everyone who was scheduled to be baptized, there was an invitation for anyone else who wanted to be baptized; right then and there.

You whispered to Mommy that you wanted to! So I took you up right then to the front of the church- and you were baptized for everyone to see.

When the pastor asked you at what point in your life you believed and trusted in Jesus, you replied: “Since I was born.”

I’m sure that’s how it seems to you; as Mommy and I have always done our best to teach you in the Christian faith.

Specially, it was 4 years ago when you were 7 years old, that you officially prayed to tell Jesus you believed in Him.

You have been curious about being baptized, going back 4 years now. But you felt the time was finally right.

I am so grateful you have made this decision! I am so proud of you.

Love,

Daddy