Monday afternoon when I picked you up from Pre-K, you asked me to help you get all your artwork from that day out of your folder. It was quite a stack of papers; probably at least 20 different pictures you had drawn there.
Right away, I noticed a peculiar, yet subtle piece of art. You had drawn a dog standing near an anthill.
Near the anthill was a sign that read “Boo” backwards. There were ants and spiders nearby as well.
As I examined the dog carefully, I noticed that as he smiled, he was also “dually relieving” himself.
To be clear, the dog was both “going #1 and #2” at the same time.
I verified what I was seeing, and you quickly admitted what was going on in the picture.
However, you weren’t laughing about it. You kept a straight face, as if to say, “What’s funny about this? This is art. It’s nature.”
I followed up by asking if either your friends or your teacher had seen the picture. They had not.
As soon as we got home, Mommy hung your picture up on the refrigerator.
To my surprise, the next day when I picked you up, déjà vu occurred as I saw a very similar picture; this time with a cat.
This time you smiled: “I made this picture for Mommy!”
We are indeed very proud of your artwork, as were many people on Facebook who saw the pictures as well.
Now that I look back on it, this wasn’t the first time you drew a “dually relieving itself” animal as artwork.
The weekend before the 2015 CMA Awards, a couple of months ago, our family met our friends Mohamed and Lena at the Cool Springs Whole Foods (in Franklin, TN) for a late lunch, around 2:00 PM.
As we were sitting down at the table with our food, Mohamed showed me a picture of both Jessica Biel (Justin Timberlake’s wife) with her baby, as well as Justin Timberlake’s mother.
Then Mohamed pointed over to just a tables away, asking us to verify that the people at the table were indeed the same as the ones he had pulled up on his phone.
Turns out, he was right.
Apparently, Justin Timberlake’s wife, son, and mother were having lunch while Justin was assumedly preparing for his appearance at the CMA Awards; where he would go on to do an instantly legendary performance with Chris Stapleton.
All of that was lost on you. I looked down to see you had just finished drawing a picture of an animal dually relieving itself.
Fast forward to this week: You decided to bring back the concept.
Your 5th birthday is on Monday, but we decided to go ahead and have your “school birthday party” today before the weekend kicks in. Normally we would take cupcakes for you and your friends to enjoy to celebrate your birthday, but this year, you had a different specific request…
Donuts and vegan blueberry muffins.
So yesterday I hopped in the 2015 Lexus GX 460 that we are driving this week and drove to Whole Foods, which is just a 5 minute drive from where I work.
I was able to get your chocolate-covered sprinkle donuts and the vegan blueberry muffins right there at the same spot. I brought home 4 donuts and 6 muffins. Mommy and I were discussing how we would get your teacher to cut them in half; and that even then, that would be a lot of food for 5 year-olds.
You then proclaimed to me, “Tell my teacher to save a whole donut for me because I want the whole thing, not just half.”
Here lately, you’ve been saying other things like that which have really cracked me up.
We drove past a place that sells those glorious wooden playgrounds. They had one that was a pirate ship. It cost $1600.
You declared, “If I had that pirate ship playground at our house, I would never watch anything on the Kindle, because I could play on the playground.”
I told Mommy, “Maybe we should get Jack that playground. He would never, ever watch anything on the Kindle again. All he would ever do would be to play on his pirate ship playground…”
You intervened, “But sometimes, I would.”
I think I actually had you convinced we would have bought you that $1600 playground if you had agreed to never watch the Kindle again. I thought it was hilarious how you attempted to make a bargain with Mommy and me.
Funny stuff.
Okay, so imagine this: The next time I write you a letter, you’ll be 5 years old!
This morning as my wife and I were getting ready for work, we were talking about the concept of how parents can influence their kids, even without trying to.
For example, no matter how much you praise your child on their abilities, talents, and looks, they can be just as influenced by the way you, the parent, see yourself.
As Bekah on The Wally Show explained yesterday morning, a mother who picks herself apart in front of the mirror will often, by default, teach her daughter to do the same; no matter how much the mother compliments the daughter.
We learn so much from our parents.
Today is my dad’s 59th birthday. So naturally, having just had this conversation, I’ve been thinking all day about the ways my dad made me who I am; whether he meant to or not.
I easily thought of 5 ways:
1) Diet:
The first story that comes to mind was back in the late 80s one time when my dad stopped to get gas for his Ford Ranchero.
I asked him if I could get a candy bar inside the gas station. He reluctantly said yes, but went on to explain how unhealthy candy bars were, because of “all that sugar”. He told me how little boys my age needed to be eating healthier foods.
That made me curious. I then asked him when the last time he had eaten he candy bar. He replied, “Years… I probably was a boy. But I shouldn’t have, because those things aren’t healthy.”
Similarly, I can also specifically remember, around the same time, we were watching 20/20 on TV and there was a special about how kids were having heart attacks because of their diets.
My dad warned me if I didn’t start eating healthier foods, I could end up like those kids on TV who had heart attacks.
In our house, we never had white bread; only wheat. I felt deprived.
Granted, those elementary school years passed, then my teens, then my college years, and I ate horribly the whole time; whenever it was up to me. I didn’t heed his advice.
But by the time I reached my late 20s, I started seeing my processed food diet catch up with me…
Now, look at me. I am the strictest vegan anyone personally knows. If it weren’t for my dad, though, I wouldn’t currently be the healthy man I am.
If it weren’t for my dad, these days I would be a highly medicated guy: I would take something daily for severe allergy and sinus issues; and I would still constantly be suffering eczema, paying for prescription medicine to attempt to alleviate it, but not cure it.
That all went away when I became a vegan 2 and a half years ago; not to mention I’ve effortlessly remained in the perfect weight range for my height and weight since then.
I am confident that my dad’s “you better stop eating candy cars or you’re going to be a kid who has a heart attack” comments greatly influenced me for the good; even if I couldn’t appreciate it at the time.
It was ingrained in me from my dad that it’s important to prevent cancer and disease; not simply focus on the cure.
Here’s a webisode that he and I made with my son; which hints on the fact we don’t trust microwaves:
2) Being active:
Plus, my dad was always physically active. During my entire childhood, he participated in martial arts; he was a black belt. Back in 1992, he even won 1st place in the sparring competition, for his division in northern Alabama.
(As for me in modern day, I regularly run and go mountain biking; plus I take at least two 10 minute walks outside during my breaks.)
Quite regularly, I when I was a kid, I would go with my dad to his Tuesday night practices and workouts. I knew that he would let me get a cheeseburger at Hardee’s on the way home if I went with him.
Here’s another webisode that my dad and I made with my son; which features my dad in one of his classic karate uniforms:
3) Letting me make my own decisions
And perhaps that’s another way he influenced me: He let me make my own decisions, even sometimes when he knew there was a better way.
I’m not sure I’ll be as hands off with my own son. I don’t know that I can be as Libertarian with my son as my dad was with me.
But had my dad not been so laissez-faire with me (a policy or attitude of letting things take their own course, without interfering), there’s a good chance I would rebelled and acted out as a kid, teenager, and even a young adult.
So twenty years ago, during the reign of grunge, I had the long hair and the baggy jeans; and my dad never once revealed he was concerned about it.
Of course, my dad also taught me, by default, to be calm-assertive.
These qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. In all this, it was not only his words, but more importantly, his actions that inspired me how to live my life.
4) Faith
Going deeper, I grew up with my dad reading me stories from the Bible for my bedtime stories, teaching my Sunday School classes at our church, and leading the youth group at church.
Therefore, I do my best to lead my own family in the teachings of Christianity; not out of tradition, but as a way of life- serving others, not judging them.
I seriously doubt my blog would be called Family Friendly Daddy Blog if it weren’t for him. He never cussed, so neither do I. Curse words never seemed necessary in order to communicate something worth saying.
5) Politics
And when it comes to politics, I see that I have become my dad as well:
“Vote for the lesser of the two evils; whether that happens to be a Democrat or a Republican.” I remember he told me that a couple elections ago and it’s stuck with me.
A mindset like that requires an individual to use critical thinking beyond what they are taught by either the left wing or the right wing.
After all, they are both wings of the same bird.
Ultimately, he taught me to question the norm. And I do. That is a huge part of who I am.
It’s even one of the main reasons my wife started dating me, as she has told me before, “You always seem so confident in what you believe, even if it not what most other people believe.”
So really, the way I see it, it’s undeniable that my dad greatly influenced who I am. Today he turns 59 years old. Despite whatever gift card my wife and I mailed him for his birthday, these words today are my gift to him more than anything else.
Being the daddy blogger who denounces artificial food dyes in food, I must admit it is quite convenient that my almost 5 year-old son has willingly chosen to use his Halloween candy for science experiments, as opposed to actually eating it.
This was completely your idea. It was the convenient timing of you rediscovering your Magic Science kit that Mommy and I got you’re a year ago for your 4th birthday.
Saturday morning, which was Halloween, you and I took a walk at the park and you found a green acorn; which you referred to as a coconut.
You announced to me: “Daddy, when we get home, I’m going to put this coconut in the water with peanut butter!”
That’s exactly what we did. (Featured in the collage below.)
I supervised as you randomly mixed the ingredients included in the kit, with the “coconut” as well as some peanut butter. Needless to say, you weren’t following the instructions included in the kit at all. Fortunately, no explosions occurred…
Even during dinner, as you ate the pizza Mommy made, you were constantly checking on the progress of your science experiments. (Not to mention, you had previously dunked some of the uncooked pizza dough into some chemicals as well; as part of its own experiment; as seen below.)
We then took about a 90 minute break to actually, you know… go trick-or-treating.
It meant so much to me to finally go trick-or-treating in our own neighborhood; since we moved in our new home back in January. When we lived in the townhouse community before, it just wasn’t the ideal environment like our neighborhood is now, for something like this.
Needless to say, after we got home from church on Sunday, you spent all of your time testing all types of the candy you earned the night before.
I think you favorite to dissolve were the Nerds. You explained to me:
“Daddy, the Nerds turn in to crystals!” You scooped them out from the bottom of the cup, using a plastic spoon; revealing the now colorless pieces of sugar.
It was also interesting to see Runts without their coloring as well. And the Laffy Taffy looked like a brain.
A dentist in our neighborhood is buying back Halloween candy; paying $1 per pound, then sending the candy overseas the U.S. troops.
You were planning on selling most of your candy so you could use the money to buy a toy.
Instead, it looks like you’d rather use the candy for scientist experiments; as opposed to selling it, or even crazier… actually eating it.
Last night I finished the 1989 movie, Back to the Future Part 2, which takes place in the future: October 2015.
I suppose now that I’m officially living in the future, it’s quite appropriate that I announce that as of last night at 9:01 PM, I am now a smart phone owner.
That makes me the last cool person you know to finally get a smart phone.
At this point, who do you know who doesn’t have one? I literally don’t know anyone in my social circle who doesn’t have a smart phone.
In fact, it’s not unheard of here in the Nashville area to see a homeless man selling newspapers to people stopped at the red lights, but then to see him check his smart phone during the green lights when the cars are no longer stopped in front of him.
I’m not sure how that all works out, but obviously, it only proves how counter-cultural my own lack of a smart phone has made me up until now.
Here’s the truth: I kind of hate smart phones. Actually, if it were up to me (it’s not- it’s up to my wife), I wouldn’t own a cell phone at all.
Sure, it’s ironic that a blogger with a YouTube channel doesn’t like the idea of always being “connected and plugged in”.
It’s just that I refuse to become another cliché who looks down at my phone to acknowledge another Facebook “like” while you are trying to talk to me, face to face in real time. It’s perhaps my rebellion of that cliche that keeps from wanting to be so connected and plugged in.
After all, a guy I recently met at Whole Foods, Jarrid Wilson, did a blog post that went viral; which addresses this social issue: “Why I Am Getting a Divorce in 2014.”
He’s actually talking about “divorcing” his smart phone.
See, that’s the whole point. I despise the concept of naturally and gradually disconnecting from real life via a smart phone, allowing myself to believe the illusion that what’s going on in my Facebook feed is more important than my family right in front of me.
It reminds me of the 1980 Genesis song, “Turn It on Again”. The protagonist of the song watches TV so much that he begins to get lonely when the characters of his favorite shows aren’t on. I see a parallel with people who constantly check and update social media, via their smart phones:
“I can show you some of the people in my life
It’s driving me mad just another way of passing the day
I, I get so lonely when she’s not there
Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on again
Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on again
I can see another face”
Someone on my Facebook page for Family Friendly Daddy Blog immediately asked me last night, after I posted my 1st official Instagram post (featured below), what made me decide to finally get a smart phone.
Here’s my answer:
After being with Verizon for at least a dozen years, things finally got to the point with where they no longer offered incentives to faithful customers like me to stay; customers who always paid on time; no more free phones, for sure. Those days are gone.
I even walked in to my Verizon store to calmly explain I would be leaving them if they couldn’t provide me a free “dumb phone” to keep my budget the same; since I was nearing the end of my latest 2 year contract.
Verizon sincerely yet simply apologized they could not. I tried.
This time around, it was going to cost just as much to have “regular service” with them, as it would to finally just get a smart phone.
So now my wife and I are with a hilariously named service provider called Puppy Wireless; which is basically a 3rd party that uses Verizon’s towers.
Here’s the one and only part of being a smart phone owner that excites me:
There’s a good chance I can grow my “blog business” because of it.
I now have access to Instagram, which means I am more attractive to Acorn, an influence company I have worked with a little on the side.
For example, I did a project for them earlier in the summer in which I promoted the mobile app game, Best Fiends, by featuring the product in a Jack-Man video I made, in lieu of an Instagram post.
With my Instagram account @nickshellwrites, which is the same as my Twitter handle, I am pretty sure I will find myself with a much steadier stream of blogging gigs through Acorn, which pays me to advertise for their clients.
Also with that in the pipeline, my YouTube channel has finally begun to start making me some money. Plus, in the near future, I will be featuring ads on my blog for Beacon Ads; a Christian company who found my “family friendly” daddy blog to be appropriate for their advertisers.
Over this next year, I am going to really be making a much more conscious effort to make my blog more of a business; not just a hobby.
And as much as I don’t want to admit it, a smart phone can be a great tool to help make that happen.
One of the main reasons I refused to get a smart phone all this time is because I refused to change my budget over it. But if I can make up the financial loss of having to pay for a data plan, not to mention my phone, I suppose it’s worth it if it also leads to me actually making money.
I am a bitter, cheap, old man. I just happen to only be 34 years old.
Sure, I have a smart phone now… but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.
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