Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

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Celebrity Apprentice 2010 Recap: Burger Heaven

A big part of enjoying any new season of Celebrity Apprentice is to familiarize yourself with the “celebrities” in the cast.  Granted, there are always a few I have actually heard of, if for no other reasons, nostalgic purposes.  This year, though, there are only a few I had never heard of before; Wikipedia helped fill in the blanks for me.  Here there are, starting in the order of my own greatest familiarity with them to least:

Cyndi Lauper- the off-beat queen of 1983 with her hits “Time After Time” and “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”

Sinbad- seriously, how can you not like Sinbad?

Sharon Osbourne- now more famous and recognizable from her reality show appearances than being the wife of Ozzy Osbourne

Rod Blagojevich- the “corrupt politician” whom we’re supposed to hate

Darryl Strawberry- whom I still have a 1988 Post Cereal baseball card of in my parents’ garage

Bill Goldberg- the Jewish professional wrestler, athlete, and… “actor”

Holly Robinson Peete- whom I had a crush on in 6th grade from her role on Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper

Bret Michaels- reality show contestant transfer from VH1, oh yeah, and the lead singer of Poison

Curtis Stone- Australian TV chef

Michael Johnson- Olympic Gold Medal Sprinter

Carol Leifer- Jewish comedienne/writer for Seinfeld

Selita Ebanks- Victoria’s Secret model

Summer Sanders- Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer

Maria Kanellis- former professional wrestling actress

The episode started out with The Donald explaining he understands it’s even harder now than ever to get people to ask for money.  He confidently confirmed that the “celebrities” are putting their careers on hold (cough-cough-desperate-for-a-comeback-cough-cough) to be on the show.

As the script called for, he turned down his personal chauffuer’s ride, telling us the viewers, “Ya know what, I’m walking instead.”  After the camera was turned off, he then most undoubtedly took the ride he just turned down.

This premiere was packed with follicly challenged hosts and constestants, not because they are losing their hair, but because they choose some of the the most bizarre do’s for themselves.  The Donald, of course, has his own signature horribleness.  Blagojevich prefers more of a spin-off of The Donald,  but looking more like a 12 year-old boy’s haircut.  Donald Jr. (who proves bad hair runs in the family) feels most confident in his uneven “which way is it going today?” slick-back.  And Cindy Lauper, it really wouldn’t be fair to call her messy bird’s nest a hairstyle.

The men named their team Rock Solid and the women chose Tenacity (which  means “courage”).  Both teams had to take over a diner called Burger Heaven (two different locations, one for each team).  They only  had 3 hours to be open for business.  This caused a particular challenge for the contestants because any rich friends they had in New York City had to actually be there in person to make a financial contribution.

Rock Solid chose to target people with extra money to give to charity by making all their menu items $100.  But Tenacity chose to make their menu items more affordable for “street people”.  As a curve ball, The Donald had last season’s winner, Jewish comedienne Joan Rivers to visit both team’s restaurants to decide which one was better.  Her decision would cause The Donald to personally give an extra $10,000 to that team’s charity.

Favorite Moments:

When Goldberg compared his old school paper hat to a Yamaka.

When it was obvious that Cyndi Lauper was annoyed by the radio DJ saying naming her restaurant challenge “Girls Just Want to Eat Luh-unch”.

When Sharon Osbourne referred their restaurant as a “Star Wars Bar” because Cyndi Lauper started singing “True Colors” with the accompaniment of her accordion player.

When Joan Rivers referred to her Rock Solid Burger as an “Icelandic Sandwich” because it took Blagojevich nearly 9 minutes to deliver it to her after it was ready.

When Joan Rivers nonchalantly stole a menu from Tenacity’s restaurant as she was leaving.

When The Donald pointed out Cyndi Lauper’s hairdo, then she replied by telling him that her friend Edith thinks that Donald is very sexy, then Donald Jr. asked Cyndi how old her friend is.

When the Friskies commercial came on.  I refer to it “Cats on LSD”.  It’s pretty trippy, man.

The Bottom Line:

Joan Rivers liked Tenacity’s restaurant better, which gave them the $10K advantage, even so, Rock Solid came out way on top:

Tenacity: $29, 559 + $10,000 = $39, 559

Rock Solid: $57, 905

That was a combined total of $97K, then The Donald threw in an extra $3K, giving a total of $100,000 to the American Diabetes Foundation.

The men won, so that meant The Donald had to fire someone from the women’s team, Tenacity.  This episode was unique in that their were no clear stand-out lazy contestants.  But in the board room, a few of the women mumbled Carol Leifer’s name when The Donald asked them who the weakest member of the team was.  Even though Cyndi Lauper was the Project Manager, Carol Leifer was fired.

Then, as usual, the episode abruptly ended with a shot of the car driving away the recently fired contestant.

Thanks for reading, fellow Celebrity Apprentice fans.  If this post garners enough hits from Google searches, like my Bachelor recaps did, I’ll be back next week with another recap.

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Mr. Daydream’s Personality Pyramid: Humorous, Philosophical, Analytical, Dramatic

It’s always funny to joke about other people having split personalities.  But the truth is, we have all split personalities.  It’d be kinda weird if we didn’t.

I’ve said before that I tend to “pull an Andy Bernard” in that I mirror personalities in order to better relate to people, which is found in the fundamental teachings of Dale Carnegie, the author of the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People.  But that’s different than the idea of having split personalities because mimicking another person’s manner of speech and body movement doesn’t reflect my own true split personalities.

We all have at least a few different “default mode” personalities we fall back on, which direct and guide our choices of words and actions.  After a little bit of self-analysis, I have narrowed my own collection of personalities down to four main selections:

Humorous

Philosophical

Analytical

Dramatic

Humorous: I am starting with the one at the bottom of my “personality pyramid”, the one the general public sees the most.  The most unguarded.  It’s my surface personality that is appropriate for most situations which is found in everything I do, even serious tasks.  But not “Jim Carrey/get hit in the head with a frying pan” kind of humor, though.

A more subtle type usually delivered in “dead pan” style, where I don’t laugh at my own attempts at humor.  I don’t tell jokes; I translate real life situations into jokes by sliding in sarcastic commentary about them, adding in nostalgic and pop culture references whenever I can.

Right now one of my major comedic icons is actually Alec Baldwin, a man who used to specialize in drama.  To me, that’s the funniest kind of humor out there.  Like the stand-up styles of Conan O’Brien, Joe Rogan, Zach Galifianakis, and Doug Benson.  But not so dry to the point of David Letterman.

Philosophical: For a guy who has never smoked pot, the conversation topics I come up with would reflect otherwise.  There’s a theory out there that whenever a person is exposed to the psychoactive elements found in marijuana, their “third eye” opens up, causing them to see the world in a different perspective.  But I think I was born with my third eye open.  That would explain a lot, actually.

When a person asks me, “What’s up?” or “What’s new?” or “What’s going on?” or “Whatch ya think?”, they will most definitely get an answer.  Not, “oh, not much” or “same ole, same ole”.  Instead, they will hear that I am currently debating whether or not I would be able to carry out capital punishment myself or whether Batman or Superman is the better superhero.  My third eye absolutely effects what I say, therefore coming across as my “philosophical personality”.

Analytical: Despite seeing the world through an abstract lens, I actually see everything in terms of black and white, cut and dry, “either it is or it isn’t”.  There is a formula for everything.   There is definite right and wrong.  That’s the teacher side of me.  I like explaining things to people.

My analytical personality is the one that will spend countless hours searching which celebrities are Jewish or learning how to solve a Rubik’s Cube.  It’s my necessary inner dork.  It’s the part of me that has an elaborate system for keeping shoes looking new, despite being 8 years old, but I’ll have to get into that in a different post.

Dramatic: At the top of my personality pyramid is the one I reserve mainly just for close family and friends, because it is my personality that is engrained into my emotions.  This is not a personality that needs to be seen by the general public.  Its function is to manage the aspects of my life which are the most important to me.

My dramatic personality allows me to display necessary emotions where love is involved.  I do my best to confine my emotions to just the people I am closest to.  Otherwise, I could end up an emotional guy who wears my heart on my sleeve.  I am not afraid to be vulnerable enough to show my emotions, but I think it’s important to save them for the right situations and the right people.

So that’s how it works.  We are wired with different personalities equipped to suite the right situations and the right people.  The main four personalities that I named most likely do not correspond to hardly anyone else.  Everyone else in the world has their own combination of split personalities which they must decipher in order to better understand who they are.

We’re not crazy.  We just have split personalities.  Isn’t that crazy?

4 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, Storytelling, Uncategorized

The Truth and Irony about Solving a Rubik’s Cube

Somebody’s gotta be able to do it.  So I took it upon myself to become that person.

Last night at 11:15 PM, I solved my first Rubik’s Cube.  Then again, and again, again.  It all started on February 23rd when I was trying to think of a clever title for a post that I was working on about the true danger of dying of boredom and inactivity, which ended up with me questioning the small possibility that I could have a mild case of Aspergers (I’m pretty sure I don’t, though…).  I ended up naming the writing “Rubik’s Cube Syndrome”.

http://wp.me/pxqBU-zv

A few days later, on February 27th, I decided to take the concept literally: I went to Target and paid $9 for a Rubik’s Cube.  Because I realized I didn’t know anyone in my life that knew how to solve it, nor did I know anyone who knew anyone who knew how to solve it.  So I knew that meant that I would have to become that person.  I would have to become “that guy”.

For the next 11 days (which ended last night), I took “The Cube” with me everywhere.  The token running joke I kept hearing as I was learning to solve it was, “I can solve that thing for you, just let me take off the stickers…”

Everyday during my lunch break I walked over to Borders and used their free wi-fi to watch YouTube videos on how to solve it.  And, it worked.

The truth about solving a Rubik’s Cube is this:  Basically, trusting your own puzzle-solving abilities, you can not solve a Rubik’s cube.  It’s impossible.

The Cube is solved through completing a series of 7 layers, starting from the bottom up (like levels of an old school Nintendo game like Donkey Kong) and each one has a corresponding algorithm which is a set series of turns and twists (like the Konami code on Contra to get 30 extra lives or the combination of buttons pressed in order to pull of a “special move” on Streetfighter II).  But one wrong move, and you end up having to go back a few layers and start over.

The biggest hint that The Cube itself provides is that the middle squares of each side are the only ones locked into place, and each corner is predetermined.  For example, the green side will never share corners with the blue sides, because they’re on opposite sides from each other.

Interestingly, in theory, no matter what the positions are, it should never take more than 20 twists in order to return The Rubik’s cube to its original state.

The Rubix Cube has been frustrated millions of people since its commercial release 30 years ago in 1980.  Understandably.  Without memorizing the algorithms, it virtually is impossible.

So my advice is this.  Unless you’re willing to spend 11 days to memorize the exact formula, don’t waste your time.  It will be nothing but frustrating.  The Cube is either the most frustrating puzzle in the world or the most rewarding and therapeutic.  But if you don’t follow the formula step by step, you will not succeed.

The irony of being able to solve a Rubik’s cube is this: While you will most definitely be able to impress your friends when they watch you do it in front of them in just a matter of a few minutes, it takes memorizing algorithms to do it.  You must become a little bit dorky in order to become cool.

And I’m okay with that.  Because for a lifetime I have memorized the formula.  So for a lifetime, I will keep my mind active.  I called my Rubik’s Cube my “Alzheimer’s Prevention Device”.

2 Comments Posted on Health, Uncategorized

Banana Oatmush; The Real Breakfast of Champions (Contains Cinnamon and Hemp Seed)

I invented the nation’s most healthiest, most alive, most convenient, least expensive breakfast, and it’s completely non-processed.  The best part is, I can’t make a profit off of it at all.  You have to make it yourself.  That’s how you know it’s good.

We know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it’s also one of the most difficult to pull off consistently and still be healthy.  Because after eliminating the option of the quick and easy (and deadly) fast food options, what is there that is inexpensive and fiber-packed enough to keep a person full?  And most importantly, what breakfast food is there that has no added sugar, essentially no fat, improves digestion, is easy to make, and actually tastes really good?

Oatmush.  I will share it with you.

Start with a half a cup of rolled oats (make sure that rolled oats are the only ingredient; no sugar, salt, dehydrated fruit, evaporated cane juice, etc).  Sometimes I use Publix store brand that costs about $2 for 32 oz. canister (13 servings); currently I’m using Bob’s Red Mill Extra Thick Rolled Oats that I bought from Whole Foods for just a dollar more:

3.5g fat (0.5 saturated, 0 trans), 1g sugar, 7g protein, 5 g dietary fiber

Just pour the oats in an empty coffee mug, then pour in hot water until the water is about ¼ inch above the top of the oats.  Then grab a banana:

0g fat, 21g sugar (though it doesn’t count against you when eaten in its whole, natural form, but fruit juice does because it has been separated from the fiber of the fruit), 1g protein, 4g dietary fiber

Now with a fork, set the tip of the banana on the edge of the coffee mug, cutting the banana into slices that fall on top of the oatmeal.  Then with the fork, mash the banana slices into oatmeal for a few seconds, like mashing a potato.

By this point, the Oatmush may not be as hot as the oatmeal you’re used to eating, so that means you may need to find hotter water to begin with.  Don’t reheat the Oatmush in the microwave; that “kills” the life in it.  At least 55% of the food we eat in a day needs to be alive.  Live food helps our bodies fight off cancers and diseases (fruits, vegetables, grains, seeds, and nuts in their whole form); dead food doesn’t (meat, processed food, etc.).

If you want to keep things simple, then you’re done.  Enjoy your Oatmush.

However, if you’d like to add more flavor and nutrition to your Oatmush, here’s how I do it.  Mix in about a half a tablespoon of cinnamon (loaded with antioxidants).  Next, get your hands on some hemp seed, found in your nearest Whole Foods.  I use Nutiva’s Organic Shelled Hempseed from the refrigerated section of the store.

Hemp seed is extremely healthy and a major part of a healthy, daily diet:

13.5 g fat (1g saturated, 0g trans), 1g sugar, 11g protein, 1g dietary fiber

It contains more fatty acids than any other nut or seed found in nature (which is a very good thing).  Hempseed contains all 9 essential amino acids and is high in phytonutrients, which support and protect the health of our body’s immunity, bloodstream, cells, tissues, organs, and mitochondria (our body’s “life cells”).

*Flax seed can be substituted in place of hemp seed, which is comparible in nutrition but not equal.

So every morning now, I start off with a good healthy cup of Oatmush.  Complete with hempseed, here is the unofficial complete nutritional value:

17g fat (the good kind), 1.5g saturated fat, Og trans fat, 24g sugar (the good kind), 19g protein, 10g dietary fiber

And that’s with nothing man-made or processed.  A completely alive breakfast.  The best part of it is, I can’t sell you Oatmush.  It’s not a marketable product.  Because if it was, it would have to come in a bag or box and the bananas would have to be dehydrated.  No one can sell you Oatmush.  You have to make it yourself.  And that’s another sign that it’s really good for you.

It’s really quick and easy to make.  Only takes me about one minute, literally. And I dare the entire world to find a healthier, more convenient, less expensive breakfast that is completely alive and not processed in any way.

…I’m waiting.

Oh, and, you’re welcome.  For my secret recipe, that is:

 

Nick Shell’s Famous “Oatmush”

½ cup of rolled oats

1/3 cup of hot water

1 banana

½ tablespoon of cinnamon

3 tablespoons of hemp seed

1 Comment Posted on Spirituality, Uncategorized

The Perceived Idea of Complete Control over Our Lives

Bummer, man.

I’ve learned something about disappointments that has recently helped me to deal with them a whole let better: It’s not so much about the fact that I’m not getting my way. It’s more about the fact I had already set my mind on one thing and now am getting something else instead.

Let’s assume we’re not childish. Let’s assume that we don’t let our day become ruined because they were all out of Hazelnut syrup at Starbucks and we had to settle for vanilla, which when it comes down to it, we like just as much.

The problem is the change itself in the plans. It’s not my way that got compromised, it’s my plan. My plan got compromised.

Looking at it this way has helped me realize the problem isn’t necessarily the fact I’ve been duped or got the short end of the stick. The problem is that I’m being forced to recognize a part of life I keep forgetting:

I have direction over my life, but I don’t have complete control.

Control is a perceived thing, not an actual one. I can never have complete control over my own life. And that is one of the most relieving yet at the same time stressful things about being alive.

“The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.”  -Proverbs 16:1