Saved by the Bell

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Good Men Still Exist; They Just Don’t Make the Headlines as Easily

“The handy thing about being a father is that the historic standard has been set so pitifully low.” -Michael Chabon, Manhood for Amateurs

Yes, everyone is well aware that despite all the good men in history who have left a good name for themselves (along with plenty of quotable quotes, with many of them being strong military leaders or respected writers), there are enough deadbeats, scoundrels, and cads to cast a negative connotation on the word “man”.  Women are expected to be saints and givers; sadly, men are expected to be… well, not a lot is expected of men anymore.  But not all good men are long gone.

In the aftermath of Father’s Day last week, the Internet was full of freshly published articles about the modern man, father, and husband.  Two in particular really got my attention.  The first one reviewed the history of TV dads from Leave It to Beaver, to Married with Children, to Parenthood.  It brought out the fact that in the 1950’s, dads were too perfect, in the 1990’s they were often portrayed as bumbling idiots, and now in the 2010’s, TV dads have finally began to look more like real dads.  See http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/37758834/ns/today-entertainment/.  (Though I would argue that the 1980’s were good to TV dads…)

The other article that really got me thinking was one I found on Stuff Christians Like, http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/06/the-wild-difference-between-a-mothers-day-sermon-and-a-fathers-day-sermon/, which explained how many fathers in Christian churches feel miserable on Father’s Day Sunday because the sermon is about how men need to step up to the plate and be better fathers, while the Mother’s Day sermon provides nothing but praise for women.

I definitely see how good men often don’t get the praise they deserve.  Like Zack Morris once said on Saved by the Bell when Jessie declared that all men are jerks, “Hey, don’t judge us by our worst specimens.”  What can we do to enhance the minority of men who are truly good fathers, husbands, and hard-working citizens?

My guess is to call them out on their goodness when you see it.  It seems that if we as a culture began to celebrate the men who are doing right, it would be more of an incentive for those who are just half-way doing it, seeing there is praise and appreciation for being a “good man”.  But when the goal is simply to be better than Charlie Sheen (both the actual person and his fictionalized character on the totally lame yet successful sitcom Three and Half Men), there’s a certain lack of motivation to become a better man.

In an age where stereotypes of men who are drug to church by their wives end up jumping in a 15 passenger van for a weekend trip to their nearest major sports arena to learn from a former NFL player at a Promise Keepers conference that they should spend more time with their kids instead of watching sports games and that they should share the household responsibilities with their wives and stop looking at pornography on their home computers, then they go back home a changed man for a month, then repeat the process each following year, there are still plenty of men in America who actually already are indulging themselves in being the husbands and fathers they need to be.  There are actually good men in America who don’t have to be reminded to be good.  Because they are already aware of the reward in being a respected man who lives for his family, not himself.

Celebrate the good men in your life.  They may instantly brush aside your compliments or seem embarrassed when you do, but inside it means the world to them.  Of course with good men being the coveted gem in a parking lot full of gravels, my guess is, you already do.

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Drinking Kool-Aid and Watching the Smurfs

Childhood isn’t a place too long gone for me; it’s what the attic of my head is wallpapered in.

For many of us, childhood was one of the brightest, most promising times.  Therefore, it remains today as a safe, heartwarming place in our minds.  A place where we can return to, like remembering a good dream, whenever we want.  And thanks to the people who are still alive who share those memories with us, we have access this seemingly imaginary fantasy world that we were all once a part of.  In a land called The Eighties.  Or Nineties.  Or Sixties.  (There are several to choose from.)

My literary teacher Michael Chabon explains it (he doesn’t know who I am, in reality) in a way that would make me jealous that he thought of it first, except for the fact if it weren’t for studying his style, I wouldn’t be the same writer I am today.  He refers to mutual collected memories in his book Manhood for Amateurs as “an entire network of tunnels, secret passageways, into the past”.

We carry the exclusive memories of each other in the hard drives of our own minds, sporadically reminiscing to make sure of the validity of the events, and to glean from the enhanced emotions attached to them.

The way my mind works, I can’t just simply open a file in my head entitled “Childhood: 1981-1993”.  Instead, these scattered gems are embedded along with all other memories and knowledge.  So when I click on one file, there’s sure to be a random childhood memory hanging on to it.

And sometimes I just have flashes of them.  Like the Spring and Summer of 1989 (2nd grade) when I played baseball.  The pings of the aluminum bats, the crickets singing their alien songs in the moist, freshly cut baseball fields.  The sun going down as each game began.

And when I go to that place, I remember how I had the biggest crush on Meg Guice, who never had a clue.  Yes, those were the days were drinking Kool-Aid; my favorite flavor being the short-lived “Sharkleberry Fin”, only second to Hi-C’s “Ecto Cooler”.  When Saved by the Bell hadn’t quite arrived, so The Smurfs pretty much taught me what I needed to know about society.

Memories of being in Cub Scouts, riding the bus from school every Tuesday to the First Methodist Church, where my parents (the scout leaders) met us there with the aforementioned Kool-Aid and some adventurous craft assignment, like a bug collection (in which Matt Hall brought in a dead bat) or brainstorming about the upcoming Pinewood Derby race (which I won 1st place overall in 1991, thanks to my dad’s craftsmanship).

I could go on, but I have a feeling by this point, some of your own childhood memories have been stirred up.  Don’t let me interrupt that for you.  Have fun.

2 Comments Posted on People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Which Role Do You Play in Your Family?

As I a guy who doesn’t know anything about cars or building stuff, or even computers, or how to really fix anything, or sports (golf included), or politics, or business (investments and stock market crap), there aren’t seemingly many important roles left for me as a man in a family.

Sure, I can tell you which actors from Saved by the Bell are Jewish and which songs were hits in 1983 and how tall Albert Einstein was and I can solve a Rubik’s Cube in less than five minutes every time, but how does that fill any kind of necessary void in family dynamics?

I am a walking Wikipedia with an unforgettable memory of life events, sometimes nearing borderline Asperger’s.  So by default, what is my role in my family of six?  And to see the full picture, what are the roles of each member of my family? (My parents, my sister, her husband, and my wife.)

Me: The storyteller, the writer, the historian, and the event planner.  What drives me are memories.  Good memories take place because of events.  So I enjoy planning the family’s activities.

I tend to be the one in the family that decides what we will do with our time when we’re all together.  And if I didn’t have an agenda for everyone to follow, it’s possible we would all just sit around and do nothing.  It’s possible we wouldn’t know where to go to eat, and end up settling for something mediocre like Outback or Chili’s.

But I take the responsibility on myself for the six of us to decide where those memories (including potential funny stories and inside jokes) will take place.  And because “life happens” around food and entertainment and going to new places, my niche is being the one to set the backdrop for those events.

My role doesn’t fall into any of the typical manly stereotypes; I am the Montgomery Moose, the Desmond Hume, the John Cusack, the Pat Sajak.  The host, the MC of the evening, the narrator, the journalist of past, present, and future.  I just can’t fix anything.

My wife: The organized one, the teacher, the nurturer, the listener.

My dad: The mechanic, the electrician, the carpenter.

My mom: The financial expert, the chef, the encourager, the conversationalist.

My sister: The interior decorator, the helper, the initiator.

Her husband: The computer whiz, the tech expert, the sports enthusiast. 

Not that anyone can limit the talents and capabilities of their own family members down to just a few roles.  Because family members are not just stereotypes or TV characters.  They’re family.

What brought all this to mind is by watching the wonderfully crafted sitcom/drama Parenthood.  I love the dynamics of the family and how they all interact.  It hit me that the members of my family all have specific roles like the characters on that show.  And also, it seems the entertainment world is oversaturated with superheroes.

I just wanted to know what my “superpowers” are.  Now I know.

(And in case you’re still curious, Screech and Jessie were played Jewish actors, on the show Saved by the Bell.)

Would you, the random or regular reader, be willing to share with me your role and your family members’ roles in your family by leaving a comment below?  This isn’t a clever marketing ploy to boost my numbers or make this post seem more interesting.  I am just truly interested in this topic and want to know what other random family roles are out there. 

8 Comments Posted on Uncategorized, Writing

Being Down to Earth, Yet Never Really Touching the Ground: My First 10,000 Hits

Thanks for 10,000 hits.

I am not a writer who consistently relates to mainstream readers.  People have to find me here in the back corner of the Internet.  It’s because I want my writings to speak louder than me the person.  I make a point to avoid shameless promotion.  Because the way I live my life, I say if a product is worth buying or trying, it travels through word-of-mouth and that’s what leads to a solid following.

Not everyone “gets” my writing.  It’s not for everyone.  Because not everyone is in touch with their “weird side”.  But the weird side is the only side I’ve ever been on.

I write for people who space out like I do.  People who stay to watch all the credits roll after the movie is over.  For those who don’t think Dane Cook or Larry the Cable Guy are funny.

It’s not an exclusive club.  Everyone is welcome to this hideout.  But not everyone wants in.  Not everyone wants to come back.

I want to be perceived as “down to Earth” but I know I’m a little too abstract to actually be.

Just like Dexter (the fictional serial killer) has a certain code he strictly follows in the first two seasons of the show (he has to always be one step ahead, he only kills murderers, he only kills people who he has proven guilty), I have a certain code for the way I write.

My code is inspired by a book my wife got me a year ago for my birthday on how to write professionally. It helps keep focused and hopefully from sounding like I think I’m cool just because I have a website.

Now that scenicroutesnapshots.com has received its 10,000th hit this week, as a thanks to those who keep coming back, I will share my secret code.

Nick Shell’s Code of Writing:

1)     Avoid the use of the word “you” and the phrases “you know what I mean?”, “now I gotta tell you”, and “think about it”. There’s an importance of maintaining a balance of both a professional distance and a personal connection.  This is a non-fiction commentary on life, not a campy sitcom like Saved by the Bell.  Therefore, don’t break the 4th wall by talking directly and casually to the audience.

2)     Avoid using the phrases “I think”, “I feel”, “I guess” or “my opinion is”. While everything posted on the website is an educated opinion, don’t make it obvious.  Speak with authority.

3)     Avoid putting the unnecessary details of your personal life in the writing. This isn’t a reality show or facebook.  There’s no reason to list the full names of people close to me in my life or to make a habit of inserting pictures of my personal life unless it directly relates to what I am writing about.

4)     Avoid profanity. I’ve heard it said before, “If you have to curse to get someone’s attention or to get your own point across, then you need to find a way to be more creative”.  I don’t go around using “awesome” or “stupid” in every conversation, so it’s just as lame to overuse curse words.

5)     Avoid referring to the website as a “blog”. Blogs are for people still using MySpace who are stuck in 2006 or that are obsessed with facebook status updates.  I write.  I put up new posts.  I even write articles.  But I don’t have a blog.

6)     Be edgy but not controversial. There’s no need to preach about abortion or turn my website into a breeding ground for debate.  Finding ways to use the certain words  in the majority of what I write tends to give me the edge I need.

7)  Write about weird stuff but make it seem normal. Or is it more like the opposite?  Write about normal stuff and make it seem weird.  A mixture of both.  That’ll work.

8.) Find somewhat unusual pictures to integrate into the writing material, giving the reader a sense of reading a magazine article. I, for one, like cool pictures to look at while I read.  It’s a way of adding another sensory feel to the experience.

9)  Write an excessive number of posts every month. They won’t all be awesome, but it’s often the ones that I predict won’t really connect with readers that  are the ones that really do.  The more I write, the better I’ll be, and the better I’ll know how to connect to readers.

27 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, People, Uncategorized

The Jewish Influence on American Entertainment

As we all know, the Jewish race has been persecuted throughout history. And that it is a complete understatement. While that is not news to anyone, there is an amazing fact that peripherally I always knew, but it wasn’t until this week it become obvious. An earth-shaking discovery like the ending of The Sixth Sense.

The discovery is that there was a major redemption for the Jewish people once they reached America. A people group that for so long had been cursed by the rest of the world now suddenly started to become famous and funny. The bottom line: It is dang near impossible to find a sitcom without a Jew.

 

Sure, there are the obvious Jewish sitcoms like Seinfeld and Friends. But then you find out that Bob Saget is Jewish and suddenly the head of the Full House-hold is not simply an all-American guy. And while so much emphasis was placed on how Italian that Tony Danza was on “Who’s the Boss?”, no one noticed the whole time that Judith “Light” Licht (“Angela Bower”) was Jewish. And all those Saturday mornings and weekday afternoons watching Saved by the Bell, sure enough both Jessie and Screech turned out to be Jewish too.

 

Below is a “tip of the iceberg” list of successful sitcoms and their Jewish member(s):

Growing Pains: Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver)
Friends: Lisa Kudrow, David Schwimmer, Paul Rudd (Mike, Phoebe’s husband)
Mad About You: Paul Reiser, Helen Hunt
Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfess
Taxi: Andy Kauffman, Judd Hirsch
Roseanne: Roseanne Barr, Sara Gilbert
Happy Days: Henry Winkler (The Fonz)
Everybody Loves Raymond: Doris Roberts, Brad “Garrett” Gerstenfeld
Three’s Company: Norman Fell (Mr. Roper)
Blossom: Mayim Bialik
Scrubs: Zack Braff
King of Queens: Jerry Stiller
Cheers: Rhea Pelman (Carla Tortelli)
All in the Family: Rob Reiner (Meathead)
The Wonder Years: Fred Savage (Kevin Arnold), Josh Saviano (Paul Pfeiffer)
The Cosby Show: Lisa Bonnet

Step By Step: Stacy Keenan

The Golden Girls: Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty

The Three Stooges: all of them

So I did manage to find a few exceptions. I felt proud of myself for that accomplishment. Until I realized who was the executive producer of those shows:

Step by Step, Family Matters: Miller-Boyett (consisting of Thomas L. Miller, who was Jewish)
The Simpsons: James L. Brooks (Jewish)
The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island: Sherman Schwartz (Jewish)

 

In fact, the more I researched, the more I realized that basically all the original pioneer studios of Hollywood were started by Jewish people: Warner Bros., Paramount Pictures, Columbia Pictures, Samuel Goldwyn, and Universal MGM. So even if you don’t see a Jewish person on the screen, there is one behind the scenes, pulling the strings. Once I realized that the American sitcom is consumed by Jewish people, I basically just accepted the fact that Jews are the backbone to American entertainment as we know it:

Jerry Springer, Barbara Walters, Howie Mandel, Chelsea Handler, Joan Rivers, Bill Mayer, Jon Stewart, Mel Blanc, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Whoopi Goldberg, Seth Green, Paula Abdul, Rob Schneider, Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Jon Lovitz, Max Weinberg, Paul Shaffer, Paul Reuben (Pee Wee Herman), Natalie Portman, David Copperfield, Mel Brooks, Robert Downey, Jr., Bette Midler, Lenny Kravitz (who ironically married Lisa Bonet, who is also half Jewish, half African-American), Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, Pink, Billy Joel, Lisa Loeb, Harry Connick, Jr., Sasha Baron Coen (“Borat”), Harold Ramis (the nerdy Ghostbuster), Jon Lovitz, Jack Black, Billy Crystal, Rachel Bilson, Barbara Streisand, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Kirk Douglas, Rick Moranis, Zac Effron, Jeremy Piven, Seth Green, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Billy Joel, Joaquin Phoenix, Elizabeth Taylor, Jake Gyllenhaul, Mandy Moore, Richard Dreyfuss, Ben Stiller, Jeff Goldbloom, Rodney Dangerfield, Sammy Davis, Jr., Woody Allen, Jack Albertson (Grandpa from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Mel Blanc, Gilbert Gottfried, Pete Yorn, Kiss members Gene Simmons (Chaim Wetz) and Paul Stanley (Stanley Eisen), the 4 main organizers of the original Woodstock, the man who owned the farm for Woodstock, the producer and sound mixer for Woodstock, Mark Zuckerberg (the creator of facebook), George Burns, Neil Diamond, and Stephen Speilberg.

 

Not to mention the most relevant movie director/writer/producer of this decade, Judd Apatow, who is responsible for Freaks and Geeks, Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Talladega Nights, Superbad, Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Step Brothers, and Pineapple Express. Which sky-rocketed the careers of Paul Rudd, Jason Segal, and Seth Rogan, who are all Jewish.

So what? A lot of Jewish people work in entertainment.

But  Jews make up only 1.7% of the US population. There’s not that sort of massive representation from any other minority (or majority, for that matter). Asians make up 4.4% of the country’s population. How many Asian-American actors can you name? Compare that to Jewish actors.

It’s a given that if a person is successful in the American entertainment industry, then that person is beating the odds. In a market that’s so hard to crack, with such a high pay-off for those who do, Jewish people are the most successful.

I have a theory. The Bible has a reoccurring theme that the Jews are God’s chosen people. Jesus was born as a Jew. He preached to the Jews before he preached to any other people group. His followers and disciples did the same thing after Jesus died, came back and ascended to Heaven. The Bible also talks about the Jews being given a second chance to believe in Jesus at the end of the world.

 

America is basically the only country I know of that has openly accepted the Jews. We took them in from whatever country they were escaping from at the time, whether it was Germany, Russia, Poland, and gave them a new start. We knew, to some degree, what it was like to be religiously persecuted and that’s why we escaped the forced religion of England. We accepted the Jewish people when throughout the history of the world, no one else really has.

 

Definitely I realize that the economy is shaky and the future is unclear, but America is still the most powerful and most influential country in the world. This country has been blessed with not only abundant natural resources (which ultimately have a whole lot to do with a country’s economy) but also a general mindset of its people to work together and get the job done.

 

While I do believe a lot of that blessing is because, as a whole, we have always been a Christian nation, I can’t deny the importance in the role we play in regards to God’s chosen people. There are currently 5,393,000 Jews living in Israel, which is their homeland. And there are currently 5,275,000 Jews living in the United States. I did the math: We only have 118,000 less Jews living here than live in Israel. And because those are educated estimates, it’s very possible there are actually more Jews living in America than in Israel. In a way, it’s like America is becoming another Israel. (For the record, France has the 3rd largest number of Jews with just 490,00. So it’s apparent, the majority of Jewish people live Israel and America.)

Obviously God has blessed the Jewish people in America, in so many ways. And obviously God has blessed America in so many ways. Is that a coincidence? I have a tendency to over-think things, but really, what are the chances?