Dear Jack: Please Do Not Bring Anymore Snails to the Dinner Table!

7 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

Immediately following the events of your frozen custard breakfast last Sunday morning, you suggested to your sister, “Hey Holly, you want to go outside to the back porch and catch some bugs?”

With absolutely no hesitation, your sister responded like she had just heard the most clever idea ever:


So while Mommy was upstairs handling the laundry that I had just carried up, I supervised the two of you downstairs.

It didn’t take much time at all for you to find a little black spider, which you temporarily captured using the clear container you got slime in the day before.

About that time, your sister decided she was ready to come back inside; as you were pretty quick to follow, seeing all the action was all moving back into the house.

You announced to Mommy as she just happened to be coming back down the stairs:

“Hey Mommy, look… I caught a snail. It’s right here!”

(This was the first I was hearing about the snail, too.)

Her response easily sums up the theme of you being a 2nd grader right now:

“Jack, please do not bring anymore snails to the dinner table!”

Mommy and I then reminded you that snails are especially nasty creatures and that we don’t want their germs in our kitchen where we sit down to eat our meals.

However, I am willing to admit that snails are a delicacy in France.

But we don’t live in France. We live in a house where Mommy makes the rules when it comes to cleanliness and I make the rules regarding discipline.

It’s like Law and Order: Parenting Edition.

So while we both can greatly appreciate your passion for science and The Great Outdoors, it’s important not to bring that science from The Great Outdoors indoors.



Dear Jack: You Taught Your Sister How “Make Juice” From Leftover Halloween Candy

7 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

I admit: I don’t exactly know what you and your sister are up to all the time.

Fortunately for me, she is now old enough to where you are able to entertain her while I get stuff done. So while I’m hurrying to sneak in unloading the dishwasher, or taking a shower, I just trust that whatever you’re “helping” Holly do is something I would approve of.

For example, one morning last week, I learned after that fact, that you had taught your sister how to “make juice” by mixing together old Halloween candy (yes, from nearly 6 months ago) with water and ice.

I showed up right as your lifted the mixing bowl and asked me, “Daddy, can you help me carry this over to the fridge? The juice that Holly and I just made needs to settle in the fridge while I’m at school today.”

That’s been several days ago now. I never heard how that project ended. I had speculated that you were going to want me, or your sister, to try the juice once it was ready.

However, I think what really happened was that Mommy discovered the bowl of “juice” while she was preparing dinner that evening, and the juice mysteriously disappeared… down the kitchen sink drain.

We may never know for sure.

But what I do know is, your sister definitely enjoyed the adventure in the kitchen. It takes the creativity of a 7 year-old brother sometimes for her to have fun like she should.

She took your activity seriously. In her mind, she learned a new skill.

In her mind, she learned that if you are in the mood to drink some juice but can’t find any, you can just make it yourself.

I have a feeling that had she had the chance to try the juice the two of you made, she wouldn’t have thought it was half bad.



Our New Pull Down Kitchen Faucet by Pfister: Stellen LG529-SAC, Polished Chrome

Now that our family has been in our “new house” for over two and a half years, it was no surprise to learn that our standard kitchen faucet that came with our home was starting to leak. I just expect the need for minor repairs at this point.

Fate would have it, though, that Pfister reached out to me, asking if I would write a review on their website for the Stellen Pull Down Kitchen Faucet by Pfister if they sent me the product. I first mentioned it to my wife, then quickly agreed to the arrangement!

Admittedly, I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum of “handyman”…

However, my dad happened to be in town last weekend so we were able to get the new Stellen Pull Down Kitchen Faucet installed.

My wife loves our new faucet! It’s taller than the one we had before, so larger pots and pans get fit in the sink easier. We are always doing so many dishes at our house, so it really is great to have this new Pfister faucet to make things more efficient for us as part of our daily routine.

Another thing my wife specifically appreciates about this faucet is that the spray nozzle actually detaches from the faucet itself; as opposed to being separate like the one we had before.

Not to mention, our new faucet really adds a lot to the look of our kitchen. It’s one of those things you subconsciously notice when you walk into someone’s kitchen.

Especially if you have plans to sell your home at some point in the near future, upgrades to your kitchen and bathrooms can really go far as to impressing potential buyers.

So if you’re considering getting the Stellen Pull Down Kitchen Faucet by Pfister, I can tell you, we love ours. I hope my testimonial today gives you a glimpse of what it would be like to have one in your own kitchen.

But really, it’s this simple for me: My wife loves it, therefore I love it.