Dear Jack: Please Do Not Bring Anymore Snails to the Dinner Table!

7 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack,

Immediately following the events of your frozen custard breakfast last Sunday morning, you suggested to your sister, “Hey Holly, you want to go outside to the back porch and catch some bugs?”

With absolutely no hesitation, your sister responded like she had just heard the most clever idea ever:


So while Mommy was upstairs handling the laundry that I had just carried up, I supervised the two of you downstairs.

It didn’t take much time at all for you to find a little black spider, which you temporarily captured using the clear container you got slime in the day before.

About that time, your sister decided she was ready to come back inside; as you were pretty quick to follow, seeing all the action was all moving back into the house.

You announced to Mommy as she just happened to be coming back down the stairs:

“Hey Mommy, look… I caught a snail. It’s right here!”

(This was the first I was hearing about the snail, too.)

Her response easily sums up the theme of you being a 2nd grader right now:

“Jack, please do not bring anymore snails to the dinner table!”

Mommy and I then reminded you that snails are especially nasty creatures and that we don’t want their germs in our kitchen where we sit down to eat our meals.

However, I am willing to admit that snails are a delicacy in France.

But we don’t live in France. We live in a house where Mommy makes the rules when it comes to cleanliness and I make the rules regarding discipline.

It’s like Law and Order: Parenting Edition.

So while we both can greatly appreciate your passion for science and The Great Outdoors, it’s important not to bring that science from The Great Outdoors indoors.



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