This Saturday, we are going to do something we haven’t done since your sister was nearly a baby: We are going to get family photos made, by someone other than me, my tripod, and the self-timer on my camera.
Therefore, to prepare, I took you to Great Clips to get a fresh haircut, which you desperately needed. This time around, you mentioned to the lady cutting your hair that you wanted it a bit different compared to normal.
I didn’t follow what you were describing… something about a “flip”.
Another dad who was waiting for his son’s haircut happened to overhear the conversation and chimed in: “Just go to any junior high school around here. You’ll see it. I call it ‘the flippy-do’…”
You were very pleased with the results. Over the past week, I have silently observed how Mommy has been teaching you to use a curling iron, so that your bangs flip up the right way.
I think your new hairstyle only confirms the fact that you look like the boy version of the Chelsea doll.
Last Friday you began 2nd grade with a half day of school. I hadn’t had a chance to get your hair cut beforehand, so you still had your grown-out summer mop hairstyle going on.
So I took you to the Great Clips, just a mile from our house, first thing on Saturday morning.
I could tell you were proud to get cleaned up. Though Mommy and I told you that your hair was long enough to change up your hairstyle into a bangs look, you expressed that’s the part of your hair that annoyed you the most: the hair getting in your eyes.
That’s what you had been telling me the past two weeks each morning, as I am the one who fixes your hair before school… and church… and anytime we leave the house.
I even offered to get you a buzz cut, but you weren’t that annoyed by the hair getting in your eyes.
So I guess that is your standard haircut now:
1 inch long on top; with a #2 guard on the sides, down to a #1 guard in the back.
This makes the 3rd time in a row we’ve gone to Great Clips and they simply cut your hair based on the notes in the computer from the time before- and you were perfectly happy with the results.
That’s the hairstyle you like. And you know this. It’s part of your identity.
And then when your hair gets long enough that it’s in your eyes again, about a month or so later, that means it’s time for a new haircut.
It’s interesting to me that as a 2nd grade boy, you know what you do and do not like in a hairstyle for yourself:
Buzz cut? Nope, too short.
Bangs? No way, too annoying.
Long enough to sort of spike on top and very short on the sides and back?
Granted, my hairline isn’t too bad for a 34 year-old.
Plus, as I mentioned in a follow up video, men typically put too much pressure on themselves once they realize their hair is thinning and/or receding; since in reality, they’re aren’t really being judged on that aspects by others.
But, as I explained in my original video, I know certain techniques to “downplay” the fact my hairline isn’t quite what it was at age 17.
For example, I never comb by hair straight up or straight down.
I also never keep it at that awkward quarter of an inch length, as it reveals how much my hair has thinned on top. If I buzz my hair all over, I do either a #1 or #2 guard; never a #3 or #4.
Also, I always keep my hair a #2 on the sides and back (unless I buzz it with a #1 all over, obviously), which better proportions that fact my forehead is a little bigger now and that my hair is a little bit thinner on top.
It’s taken me 34 years to finally discover the perfect hairstyle for myself. My hope is that I can help other men in the process.
If you Google “men’s hairstyles”, you’re much more likely to come across pictures of trendy, counter-cultural, and/or high maintenance hairstyles that most average dudes like me cannot appreciate.
So I’m going to help you out. Just go to your barber and pull up this blog post, with the video I made below, and show it to whoever is about it cut your hair.
But first, here is why I feel this is the perfect men’s hairstyle for a receding hairline: A) low maintenance, B) masculine, C) aesthetically appealing.
All you need is a $2 can of Maury’s pomade and about 20 seconds each morning, and you’re good for the rest of the day with this haircut.
It’s short enough to where the wind can’t blow it out of place.
So here it is; give this below info to your barber, and/or pull up this video on your phone:
Leave about an inch and a half on top. In the event your hair is beginning to thin on top like mine, this leaves enough hair to expose that fact.
Fade it with the clippers from a #4 down to a #2 on the sides and back. Do a “lower fade” in the back further down the back of your head; as opposed to the style where the fade begins immediately below the crown.
Let the fade begin higher up on your crown, so that the fade from your 1.5 inch hair to the #4 actually begins on top of your head instead of the side. That helps prevent your hair from “fanning out” to an annoying diamond shape on the sides. It also places the bulk on your longer hair in the middle and front of your head, giving your hair a fuller look without the high maintenance of hair at the back of your head.
Texturize the hair on top; which helps give it the appearance of more body.
Cut your sideburns halfway down the year; it gives just enough of a stylistic edge without looking like you’re a washed out wannabe rock star.
Trim the eyebrows and hairline on the sides with clippers.
After washing the hair, immediately dry it with a towel, then dip your pointer and middle finger into a can of Murray’s pomade. Apply a pea sized amount on to the middle of your hairline first, then use the rest the remainder to the hair on top.
If I did I decent job of describing this, and you did a decent job of showing your barber your smart phone so they could see these pictures and the video, and you had them read those 7 steps, your hair should look something like a masculine, post rock star, post military, Millennial businessman. Or maybe it’s sort of like a much shorter version of rapper Macklemore’s hairstyle.
Let me know if you have any questions. I’m here to help!
I’ll close with this other video I made about how I fix my hair in the morning:
And why it ultimately doesn’t matter anyway thanks to a little something called “charm”.
Recently I asked my facebook friends via my status update, this question:
Females, I need your input for something I’m writing: What is the difference between a guy who is “handsome” and a guy who is “hot, sexy, etc.”?
To summarize the similarities of the responses, with a man who is “hot” there is an attraction (mostly physical), whereas with a man who is “handsome” is someone who simply is a good-looking guy, though there is not necessarily any kind of attraction there. Of course the ironic thing about this can best be summed up by what my friend Holly Arnesen said:
“if i refer to a guy as handsome, it usually means that physically speaking he’s nicely put together, but doesn’t necessarily mean i’m attracted. hot and sexy usually has to do with more than what a guy looks like. like some women think intelligence is sexy so, they’ll go for a smart guy over one that they think is nicer to look at. i once heard someone say, ‘men fall in love with women they are attracted to, and women are attracted to the men they fall in love with.’ i’m not a guy, but i’m pretty sure this tends to be way things go.”
On the right, Bronson Pinchot, who played "Balki" on Perfect Strangers.
What enticed me to walk up to my future wife on October 5, 2006 and talk to her the very first time I saw her from across a large crowded room was her appearance. Though it wasn’t until four months later to the day, on our first date (I knew it was a date but she didn’t until it was over), that she actually thought of me in any kind of romantic way. My physical looks were irrelevant to the equation up until the point I made it clear I was interested in her, given that I’d shared with her my personality and character prior to day that we crossed the line from being friends to dating.
Until we started dating, I was just another average-looking dude. A forgettable face. Perhaps the most memorable physical trait would have been my dark hair. Based on the celebrities that people have told me I look like in the last couple of years (“Cory Matthews” from Boy Meets World, “Balki” from Perfect Strangers, “Ross” from Friends, as well as David Arquette and Paul Rudd), I evidently have the looks of a Jewish-American comedian, which all of those Nick Shell look-alikes are. Men that are remembered not for their looks, but for their personalities and talent. Are those men handsome? Sure, why not. It’s irrelevant either way.
Ben Savage, who played "Corey Matthews" on Boy Meets World.
Speaking of David Schwimmer, I don’t believe anyone could have played the part of Ross better. But to be part of one of the most popular romantic American TV couples ever, he was a very ordinary looking guy. Fans of Friends always think of Ross and Rachel fondly, though never once have I ever heard anyone comment good or bad on David Schwimmer’s looks. But regarding Jennifer Aniston, it’s not that way at all. Her looks were so relevant she actually started a hairstyle craze in 1995 called “The Rachel”.
When my wife and I reminisce on when we first started dating, she always says, “You always had interesting stuff to say so I knew we’d never run out of things to talk about.” It’s possible that’s what won her over. My quirkiness. Some people would call it my ability to “think some crazy crap up”. Others more reverently refer to it as “thinking deeply”. My lifelong habit of daydreaming during math and science class definitely paid off. I charmed her.
So if a guy is simply average-looking, how can he improve his situation? The “Makeover Week” on the TV show The Biggest Loser would tell us he would need to slim down, get his hair cut shorter, shave off his beard, and wear nicer clothes. But I know my wife always prefers me to wear jeans, t-shirt, and a ball cap, and she never notices or cares whether I have a beard or not. There’s really no official way for a schlub or average Joe to gain “handsomeness” or “sexiness” since that’s up to the girl they’re trying to attract.
The more colorful and eye-catching cockatiel bird is on the right. The female is on the left.
And I think that’s why it’s a guy thing to not care as much about our appearance as females do. Because unlike male birds (which are always more attractive and attention-grabbing than the females they attract), male humans know they can attract a woman who is out of their league looks-wise as long as they are funny enough, smart enough, rich enough, strong enough, sensitive enough, or whatever else it takes to charm their love interest. From Doug Heffernan to Barney Rubble, charm certainly has its advantages.
It’s not something a person really learns to do- it’s more of an instinct. Whether it’s the majority or minority of people in this world who are “people watchers”, all I know is that I am one of them. And I’m proud to be.
Why? Because like a housecat, I find creative ways to entertain myself with the most ordinary things in life. I can’t stand to be bored. So when I’m in a situation where there’s nothing to do, I think. And if I’m in a room full of strangers, I “people watch”.
That means as I pretend not to directly look at them, I try to figure out their story. Because I’ve got clues and hints to go on:
1) Wedding ring. Is this guy sitting 8 feet across me a married man? Does he go home everyday to a wife, just like I do? If not, why not? Is he too young, not ready? Wants to be but just hasn’t met the right girl yet? If he is old enough to be a grandfather but doesn’t wear a wedding ring, is he widowed? That’s sad.
2) Shoes. Leather loafers with tassels means the guy is a banker or investor. Polished black leather shoes means he’s a lawyer. Cowboy boots means he’s a songwriter. Chuck Taylors means he’s artistic in some way.
3) Accessories. Book? What is it? Cell phone? What is he doing with it? Is he talking on it? Am I having to listen to his conversation? Is his phone attached to his belt? Is it on the table? Is he writing in a journal? Listening to an i-pod? What music he listening to? Journey? Chicago? Is that a Rubik’s Cube I see there?
I could go through the entire endless list: hairstyle, voice, attitude, clothing, accent, etc. But really those first three paint enough of the picture to imagine a good story to entertain myself for a few minutes. Then it’s time to move on to the next character.
And of course, I carry around my camera with me. Because I never when I have stumbled into my next website post: People Watching in Nashville Traffic
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