Dear Holly or Logan: Your Biblical Middle Name

18 weeks.

Dear Holly or Logan: Your Biblical Middle Name

Dear Holly or Logan,

We are just 6 days away from finding out, and 7 days away from announcing to the world, whether you are a boy or a girl.

Over this past weekend while we were in Destin for your brother Jack’s 5th birthday, Mommy and I finalized what your middle name will be.

Either way, your middle name will be Biblically based.

If you are Holly, your middle name will be Joy. Originally it was going to be Jane. I personally love the name Jane so much. However, Mommy pointed out that “Holly Jane” sounds a bit like “Mary Jane.” We didn’t want your named to be synonymous with marijuana.

However, if we ever have a 3rd child, and she was a girl too, the plan is for her first name to be Jane. I just love that name.

So Mommy chose Joy instead, for your middle name. Your middle name will serve as a reminder that in life, we must choose joy.

The Bible is full of reminders of the importance of “choosing joy” in the Lord despite what happens in life. One example is this verse, 1 Thessalonians 16-18:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

If you are Logan, your middle name will be Jeremiah. This is a name I had originally picked for your first name, but Mommy and I decided we wanted you to have a shorter first name.

While I was in college at Liberty University, one of the guys in the dorm room next to me was named Jeremiah. He is the only person I have ever known with that name, but I really like it.

The Biblical reference there is in the verse, Jeremiah 29:11, which is this:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Just this morning your brother Jack was watching an episode of VeggieTales on Netflix called “It’s a Meaningful Life,” in which the theme was that we are not here by accident; that God has a special plan for each one of us.

The name Jeremiah will serve as a reminder that you are special in the eyes of God, as he has a special plan for you; as He does all of us.

So now we will wait about a week to find out what your middle name is; but more importantly, whether you are a boy or a girl.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly or Logan: We’ll Know in 13 Days Whether You’re a Girl or Boy

Week 17.

Dear Holly or Logan: We’ll Know in 13 Days Whether You’re a Girl or Boy

Dear Holly or Logan,

Yesterday Mommy went to the doctor for her newest check-in. The doctor confirmed you sound great. And to our surprise, she slid up the date in which Mommy and me and your brother Jack will find out whether you are a boy or a girl.

That is great, because that’s about 2 weeks earlier than we were expecting. That visit will take place on November 25th, just about a week after Jack’s 5th birthday.

Your heart rate is about the same as your brother Jack’s was; which may be an indication that you just might actually be a boy; despite my heart still telling me you’re a girl.

Apparently, typically it’s girls’ heartbeats that are faster than boys’.

I’m excited to find out, but more than anything, I think I’ll be relieved just knowing either way.

Are you Holly or are you Logan?

By the way, I didn’t even realize it until Mommy brought it up last night, but just like clockwork, her nausea has finally went away now that she is in her 2nd trimester with you.

I am so happy for her that she doesn’t have to constantly suffer in that way, like she had to do for the entire 1st trimester.

This week Mommy found a good deal online on Huggies diapers and some wipes. So Tuesday evening, I brought in a big box from the front porch.

Your brother Jack help haul the contents of the package piece by piece.

Therefore, your fairly empty bedroom is beginning to fill up.

I assume that by default, we’ll be more prepared for your arrival that we were Jack’s. For me especially, I feel that even though it was 5 years ago when Jack was born, I’ve now got the basics down of “what to do with a brand-new baby.”

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly or Logan: Why I Think You are a Girl

13 weeks.

Dear Holly or Logan: I Think You are a Girl

Dear Holly or Logan,

Within two months, everyone in the free world will know whether you are a boy or a girl. But until then, it’s all educated speculation.

From the very beginning, I have confidently told Mommy that you are a girl. Here’s why:

With your brother Jack, it was like Mommy virtually had no pregnancy symptoms other than leg cramps, which we later figured out was because she needed to eat more bananas, which contained the magnesium and calcium she was needing in her diet.

But with you, Mommy is constantly nauseas.

The only relief is when she is asleep. Even though you can’t tell from looking at Mommy that she is pregnant, I am definitely aware because she is constantly feeling either really hungry or like she ate way too much; no matter how little or much she eats.

In other words, her pregnancy with Jack was a boy pregnancy. Now, I believe, Mommy is encountering a girl pregnancy.

Either way, these are all signs of healthy life inside of Mommy, so as much as it’s tough to know she’s feeling uncomfortable, it gives me peace knowing you are alive and well inside of her tummy. That is a blessing itself that I don’t take for granted.

As much as I would love another boy, I feel it could very easily be my fate to have a daughter.

Mommy and I taught 5th grade Sunday School for the past year. And while I loved interacting with the boys, there was something special about getting to know those girls that gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to have my own daughter.

It revealed to me a place in my heart to where I was able to see why parenting and mentoring a little girl would be a rewarding experience.

We’ll know the week after Thanksgiving. We can continue this conversation then.

Love,

Daddy

What Makes a Person “Cool”? (Being Subtle, Aware of Social Cues, and Having Something Exclusive)

I asked dozens of people in real life and on facebook in order to find the answer.

There are some things in life we recognize and encounter everyday, yet we don’t understand them.  For example, questions I constantly ask myself as I am writing each day are “is this funny?” and more importantly “is this interesting?” Both humor and being able to captivate a person’s attention are not really cut-and-dry, black-and-white issues, though I am definitely a cut-and-dry, black-and-white person.  It takes being very observant of social cues and even pop culture, at least in my experience, to make it work.  The difficulty and creativity in the search to be both funny and interesting is that both of those things are abstract, moving targets.

I am so overaware (it’s a made-up word but if I keep using it I think I can get it to catch on) and intrigued by marketing tools and methods.  For example, from now on, anytime you see an ad for a clock (not digital) or even just a new clock for sale in a store, you will be amazed at how many of the clocks show “10:10” as the time.  My guess is that “10:10” easily shows both arms of the clock and also it’s a time that many people are awake for both times each day, both morning and night.

 

Another interesting observation is how many African-American models wear purple in magazine ads and commercials on TV.  From JC Penny catalogs to The Princess and the Frog, purple is present.  Notice how few people of all other races were purple in ads.  I’m sure it’s because the color purple compliments darker skin tones much better than it does for lighter ones, and because purple is a color of royalty, which is a common theme in African-American culture- like the way bishops are often common in African-American churches.  And it may be stretching this concept, but the Disney movie The Lion King takes place in Africa, and as the title explains, it is a movie about a kingdom, even though it’s about animals instead of humans.

So keeping all these things in mind, I started thinking about an important and invisible factor in selling a product: being cool.  Apple computers are definitely cool, as is Steve Jobs who started and runs the company.  Is it because of those TV ads starring Justin Long, portraying PC’s as nerdy and Mac’s as hip?  I don’t think so.  Those ads just cleverly symbolized what many clued-in consumers were already aware of: Mac’s are cooler than PC’s.

 

Apple has always made their own rules, not being limited to the guidelines and expectations of other computer programs or even customers.  But they get away with it because Apple basically writes The Book of Cool when it comes to media technology: User-friendly computers that don’t really get viruses, iPods, iPhones, and iPads, all of which use a minimal number of buttons, and are so cool they don’t easily interact with other Apple products.

 

This being said, “coolness” is important in selling a product.  And that’s why marketing departments exist- to try and figure out, or at least convince people what is cool, so the product can be sold.  But the art of being cool doesn’t just apply to big companies and marketing teams, it also matters to us as individuals.  People are often drawn to other people who they think are cool; therefore being cool yourself may in turn attract other cool people.  I mean, some people are fine with regularly attending Star Wars conventions or sharing a house with 8 cats all named after cupcake flavors.  But just as that “uncool” example shows, even if we truly don’t care what other people think about us, being cool is definitely better than being uncool, if given the choice.

So what makes a person “cool”?  I’ve asked dozens of people both in real life and on facebook to find out the answer.  There were mainly just a few different answers, some being gender specific, some not:  Some males answered “money and material possessions” while some females answered “appearance and clothing”.  But the most reoccurring answer I received was “being confident to the point that the person truly doesn’t care about what other people think or say about them”.  Another similar answer that resonated well with me was “a cool person has something you don’t, even if it’s just confidence”.

 

Interestingly, the age of the people I asked made no difference to the kind of answer I got.  Not only do older people think that “confidence” defines being cool, but I also realized that being young isn’t a requirement in order to be cool.  I can think of three musicians who I’ve listened to my entire life who are still making music and for whom I’m still buying their albums and happen to all be currently right around 60 years old: Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and Phil Collins. Age has nothing to do with being cool.  If anything, being young is a major disadvantage in being cool, since life experience is lacking.  Most teenagers only think they know what is cool, but many of them are trying so hard to be cool that they are not- which brings me to the first Rule of Being Cool.

The Rules of Being Cool

 

1) If you realize or acknowledge that you are cool, you either never were cool or are now no longer cool. Like John Mayer.  I will always love his music, but I refuse to think he’s cool anymore.  By the time he publicly started dating celebrities then disrespecting them later in magazines while making an arse of himself with prideful comments and talking about how much money he makes, it became official: John Mayer is aware that he’s cool, which officially disqualifies him for being cool.  I can’t totally discredit the guy, after all, he did pen the song “83” (I’ve been obsessed with the year 1983, since 1995) and it was one of his concerts that transformed a friendship into a dating relationship into a marriage into a family (the first date my wife and I went on was a John Mayer concert).  But John Mayer is officially disqualified from being cool.

2) You must be aware of social cues, but not become ruled by the expectations of other people. Obviously if a person doesn’t care whatsoever what people think, he could be rude, selfish, and only shower once a week.  But it takes more than not caring what people think and participating in personal hygiene, it takes being aware of the social expectations that actually matter: Like being friendly, positive, and simply passionate about things that are important, while not being self-centered, vain, or overly aggressive. Why?  Because a person who has these attributes I just listed in italics is a confident person.  When I meet a person who is constantly being negative and is generally condescending to others, I see a person who is unhappy, unfulfilled and desperate to find confidence; needless to say, that’s not a cool person.

3) You must have something that others inspire to have. Whether it’s wit, aggressiveness, style, a high income level, or personal character, just to name a few examples, we use other people as models for our lives.  Yes, being cool depends on who you ask, since it’s largely based on perception.  Yet still, confidence can always be found as the foundation of coolness.

 

And that’s it.  That’s how I define what makes a person cool.  From Zack Morris in the fictional world, to my own family and friends in the real world, I am blessed to know cool people.  Just as iron sharpens iron, so do cool people enhance each other’s coolness. Therefore, be cool to one another.

Unnecessary Bonus…

Ethnic Backgrounds of Celebrities Mentioned in This Post:

Steve Jobs (half Syrian, half English)

Justin Long (half Polish, Sicilian, English)

Phil Collins (English, Irish)

Bruce Springsteen (50% Italian, 37% Irish, 13% Dutch)

Tom Petty (English, 1/4 Native American Indian)

Henry Winkler as “The Fonz” (Jewish)

John Mayer (half Jewish, half German)

Mark-Paul Gosselaar (half Indonesian, half Dutch)

 

 

 

 

 

Why Tap Dancing is Officially Masculine (And Most Other Kinds of Dancing are Feminine)

Le tap dance; la clog.

Unlike the French and Spanish languages, English doesn’t have masculine and feminine nouns.  Yet still, there are subtle gender clues and accents if we look closely enough for them.  Like the way that Coldplay is masculine, while The Fray is feminine (because they got famous by having their songs featured on Grey’s Anatomy). And the way a Dodge Dakota is masculine; while a Nissan X-Terra is feminine (this was referenced in an episode of The Office).

During dinner a few weeks ago I happened to catch 20 minutes of So You Think You Can Dance.  It was a results episode so they were mainly filling the air time with professional tap dancers, all of which were male.  Mainly dancing solo, but there were a few duos.  Interestingly, after each of them danced, they were briefly interviewed.  I couldn’t help but notice that none of these male tap dancers were the least bit effeminate or sexually questionable in any way- they were ordinary, straight dudes.

I’m okay with being politically incorrect in stating this fact that we already know and recognize: It’s common for professional male dancers (especially on reality TV shows) to not be straight.  Which is ironic because as we watch these couples dance, the male is being represented by a man who in reality may not be sexually attracted to women.  Typically, straight men are not the ones representing the guy in the relationship in these dances.

Why are straight men typically inclined not to be good dancers?  Because group dancing and dancing in pairs, as a whole, are more of feminine acts.  Dancing as we know it today is free-spirited and emotionally expressive.  It often shows the ups and downs of relationships and/or life in general.  That doesn’t work for most men, because a man’s mind is wired to be formulaic and often emotionally repressive.  Most men have to “learn to dance”.  Tell me what to do so I can get this right. It’s more about straight memorization for a straight guy to learn to dance.  He’s learning to dance to make his girlfriend or wife happy- not to express himself in a new exciting way.

When I think of famous tap dancers throughout American history, I think of classy Italian, Jewish, and African-American men wearing black suits like Fred Astaire, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., Gregory Hines, and of course, the legendary Tony Danza.  Although, this isn’t to say that all or even most tap-dancing men are straight.  But what I do recognize is 1) that because tap dancing is simply based on rhythm and formula (which are masculine elements- famous female drummers are a rare thing), and 2) that tap dancing only really evokes one basic emotional feel, which is always positive and upbeat.  I never remember seeing a tap dancing routine which went from happy, to sad, to angry, back to happy, to a feeling of loss, to happy, to acceptance of grief, to contentment, the way a typical 2 minute dance song on Dancing with the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance typically does.

Clogging, on the other hand, though similar to tap-dancing, is not masculine.  It often involves groups, costumes, and festive music- therefore making it a feminine art form, since there is room for “artistic expression”.  But square dancing is masculine because, like in tap-dancing, the mood is always the same (upbeat) and there is no guesswork on how to do it, since the instructions are typically spoken to music.

So how could a man and a woman dance to music and it realistically represent them and their relationship?  I’m picturing a guy tap dancing in his own little world while the woman ballet dances around him, and the guy is seemingly oblivious to what is going on.