Like It, Love It, Gotta Have It Vs. I’ve Already Got One, Thanks

Fighting the urge to the live by the new American motto: If it ain’t broke, get another one anyway.

I can almost remember a time when I was a kid, where it was normal to really really want something for a long time and then when I would finally get it, my heart was content.  The newly obtained item gave my heart rest, and I was happy, as any kid should be.  Whether it was a new Nintendo game like Super Mario Bros. 2, or a bicycle, or a rare Ninja Turtle action figure like Splinter, April O’Neil, or Ray Fillet, I got what I had wanted for so long.  And funny enough, I never wanted a replacement after I received my prized possession.

But somewhere along the way, whether or not we can blame it on “typical capitalist American behavior” or the mindset of Generation X (I just barely made the cut- it’s anyone born between 1961 and 1981), it became normal to want a “new one” though the old one still works just fine.  Maybe just an innocent desire to keep things fresh.  Or maybe a potentially dangerous pattern.

My Italian grandfather was one of the most influential people of my lifetime.  Having grown up in an orphanage in Kenosha, Wisconsin (his mother died when he was young, and there were 12 kids in the family), he lived a minimalist lifestyle, only spending his money on his few children and grandchildren.  Hardly ever buying a new (used) car, new clothes, or new furniture.  Never buying anything name brand.

This way of thinking definitely shows up in my everyday life.  My wife jokes that I have more clothes and shoes than she does.  And it’s true.  Because I don’t get rid of them unless they’re literally rotted.  Like my old red running shoes I have delegated to only use for walking and riding my mountain bike on my lunch break.

It’s true that I own over twenty pairs of shoes that still look less than a year old.  But most of them are indeed at least ten years old, in actuality.  Because I have certain shoes I wear only if I know I will be outside or if there’s a chance of  rain that day.  Those are my “outside shoes”.  By wearing them instead of my “inside shoes”, it keeps my newer shoes looking new.

While I’ll never be as frugal as my grandfather (who when my mom was a little girl, reused dried out paper towels multiple times before throwing them away) I subconsciously try to imitate his lifestyle.

I can’t see myself ever buying a brand new car, knowing that it loses thousands of dollars in value as soon as the first owner drives it off the lot.  And I can’t see buying a different car until my current one costs more to repair than it does to actually buy another used one.

Not that buying a new car is any kind of moral issue, or that going on a shopping spree for a new wardrobe is necessarily evil, though it’s probably not a wise decision if it involves a credit card (I’m a Dave Ramsey fanatic).  But for some of us, that strand of “gotta get a new one” serves as toxic acid in our DNA.

It gets tiring hearing of men leaving their wives for another woman.  That’s definitely a familiar theme this year already in the media.  And while some could say, “What does to me if matter if Tiger Woods or Jesse James cheats on his wife?  Why is that national news?”  Because it does matter.

Not because we’re nosey.  But because in some sense, the reflection of the lifestyles of celebrities causes a subconscious call-to-response for the rest of us:  “Hey look, it’s normal, he did it.”

We have to either say, “No way, that’s not for me.  No thanks!”  Or “Well, maybe that’s not so bad…”

It shouldn’t be that hard to be happy with what we’ve already got, even if it’s not perfect.  And really, that’s a mindset that is often difficult to accept and adopt: Near-perfect is as perfect as life can really get.

Is the grass really greener on the other side?  Yes, of course it is.  But the irony is this: You’re already standing on the other side.  Somebody’s else’s “other side”.

You’re already standing on the greener grass.

An Untamed Lust to See the World

Visiting the Epcot Center at Walt Disney World back in 1990 must have really left an impression on me.  Because now I want to travel the world,  for real.

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, “Who’s Says” by John Mayer came on the radio, and while it’s been in my head ever since then, there’s a particular line that I keep dwelling on: “plan a trip to Japan”.

It opens up this can of worms for me, one that I try to keep out of mind and out of sight: The realization that I will never be able to travel and see the entire world, in all its beauty and mystique.

To see the ancient and modern wonders of the world.  To meet the people who live in those countries.  To eat their food and drink their wine.  To publish a photo album on facebook from my travels to these places.

I have seen a few countries of the world: Ecuador in 1998, Trinidad and Tobago in 2002, Thailand in 2003 and 2004, Korea in 2004, and New Zealand in 2007.  But that only made me thirst for more.

Best case scenario: I would have to earn or win millions of dollars and retire early in order to be able to see all the parts of the world I want to.

Like Norway and Switzerland and Italy and Croatia.  So basically Europe.

So since it would be disappointing to assume I’ll end up a millionaire and be able to travel the world in this lifetime, I should consider my next best option:

That when we get to Heaven, in the likeness of a glorified Epcot Center, there will be portal we can step into and instantly see any part of the world we want to.

Even better, in any year.  Sweden 1983, here I come!

Paul Maley, whom I’ve never met and just happened to randomly find your website, I envy you and your 30 plus years of world travel…

Click below for enlightenment:

http://www.eclipsetours.com/ptravel.html

Emotionally Charged Words: Why Certain Words are Taboo Curse Words and Others Are Not

Some words are just too dang dramatic.

Though as a human it can be difficult, with enough effort, it is possible for me to examine a word of the English language that is shrouded in controversy, taboo, and offensiveness and see past its reputation.  Because at the end of the day, cuss words, vain religious exclamations, and even ethnic/sexist slurs are simply just words.  With a whole lot of emotion attached to them.

And that changes everything.

People can refer to themselves or their friends as an ethnic or sexist slur if they themselves are the specific ethnicity or gender that the slur refers to.  But it’s a different story when it comes from someone outside the circle.  Why?  Because whatever word that comes to mind right now that I may be referring to has a lot of emotion behind it.  Not just years of emotion, or even decades, but often centuries.

Emotions born out of unfair judgment, preconceived ideas, assumed inequality, and disrespect.  Everything that is not Christian.  Everything that is instead demonic and hellish.

But on a much lesser scale are the everyday PG rated words.  Ones that have become so common they’ve lost their edge.  The first time the word “sucks” was used as a degrading adjective (instead of a common verb) on cable TV and not censored was in 1983 on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  That was quite a big deal back then.

Now it’s 27 years later and I personally know a Christian author who is using that word in the title of his book.  A book that will be sold in Lifeway Christian stores.  People aren’t offended by the word anymore.  Not even Baptists.  But if this were 1977, that book would be having a different title.

Some emotionally charged words lose their emotion.  While others don’t.  But to ignore the current status of their offensiveness is a foolish thing to do.

I’m not good at gray areas.  Everything to me has to be formulated in black and white, cut and dry.  Otherwise, I stay out of it.  That’s part of the reason that #4 of my writing code (as revealed in Being Down to Earth, Yet Never Really Touching the Ground ) is “avoid profanity”.  Which words do I say, which words do I not say?…  I’d rather just not play in that sandbox altogether.

However, in November 2009 back before I had materialized my writing code, I wrote a series called You Just Cussed that explored the history and social acceptance boundaries of profanity.  Something I’m very intrigued by.

To avoid seeming corny, I didn’t censor any of the profanities; which in the process of quoting and explaining them all, there were more than I bothered to count.  I wanted to help strip these words down to better understand why we find them at all offensive.

But I never advertised the series.  It never showed up on a facebook link.  No one was notified through e-mail when it was published.  I was just testing it out.  So only everyday readers who happened to look at the “recent posts” panel would have even seen it.

It just never felt right, somehow.  So after about a week, I removed the series from my site.

The battle in my head: Coming across as cheesy by censoring the profanity vs. coming across as offensive by leaving all the words as they were in an effort to explain.

But now that I’ve got my writing code established, I feel at ease.  I shall officially publish the series.  Mostly censored.

Because I would rather stay true to my writing code than try to be as specific and literal as I have to be.

In the likeness of the way that Growing Pains created a springboard for Just the Ten of Us and how Perfect Strangers yielded Family Matters, I shall now use this post about emotionally charged words to officially introduce my new 6 part series, You Just Cussed.  Back from the archives and all cleaned up.

You Just Cussed: 1/6

You Just Cussed: 2/6

You Just Cussed: 3/6

You Just Cussed: 4/6

You Just Cussed: 5/6

You Just Cussed: 6/6

Taking the Time to Stop and Smell the Play-Doh

And boy, does it smell good.

None of us will ever have enough money.  The house will never be paid off.  Life will always be chaotic.  There will always be a plot that has the ability to constantly keep us on edge.

And that means that we have the option of letting those distractions from letting us enjoy life for what it is.  The default is to be stressed out about the crap we end up stepping in on our way to wherever we are headed. The thorn in the flesh.  The Starbucks drink that wasn’t made just right.  The slightly rude comment we allow to ruin our day.

Though all that really matters in life are the very things we being distracted from.  That’s not fair to the things that do matter.  It’s not the fault of the distractions.

It’s our fault.  For paying for attention to the annoyances in life more than the small wonders and experiences and people that actually make us happy.

Besides, the people that actually do have enough money, the movie stars, the rock stars, the people who don’t deserve our worship that we give anyway, often it’s their lives tend to come across as empty, broken, and lacking.  Even desperate sometimes.  We worship them, yet we don’t respect them outside of their fame, money, success, and talent.  That’s why “celebreality” shows exist.

What is normal, anyway?  A chaotic life where things are not perfect, where money is always lacking, but solid, meaning relationships are not.  I bet a lot of millionaires wish they could be normal.  Like us.