After being invited by Chevy to attend the Nashville Auto Show last weekend, you and I made the nearly one hour drive from our new home in Spring Hill to downtown Nashville.
I think one of your favorite vehicles to check out was the City Express. But of course, you went crazy over the Corvette; as did I.
You also enjoyed playing a dice game at the Geico booth and getting your picture made with the big gecko.
Of course, there’s no denying that perhaps your favorite part was running and jumping through the new Music City Center where the event took place.
When you and I hang out together, I always find way to help you run wild and burn off “little boy energy” in the process.
You got quite a thrill out of jumping off 4 stairs at a time. You truly are Jumping Jack Flash!
We also explored downtown Nashville a little bit.
You commented that the people riding the peddle trolleys were “too loud.”
Granted, that’s what many tourists do when they come here. They drink beer at 10:47 in the morning while shouting the lyrics to Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance”, as they ride the peddle trolleys downtown.
A stranger offered to take our picture together with the “Batman Building” in the background.
And I took your picture with the year 2010 engraved on the sidewalk, which is the year you were born.
I’m glad Chevy reached out to us about the Nashville Auto Show. By us going there, it provided good quality father and son time for us.
We can make an adventure out of anything. We can make a road trip out of a one hour commute to downtown Nashville to look at new cars and then run around the new Music City Center.
This morning as my wife and I were getting ready for work, we were talking about the concept of how parents can influence their kids, even without trying to.
For example, no matter how much you praise your child on their abilities, talents, and looks, they can be just as influenced by the way you, the parent, see yourself.
As Bekah on The Wally Show explained yesterday morning, a mother who picks herself apart in front of the mirror will often, by default, teach her daughter to do the same; no matter how much the mother compliments the daughter.
We learn so much from our parents.
Today is my dad’s 59th birthday. So naturally, having just had this conversation, I’ve been thinking all day about the ways my dad made me who I am; whether he meant to or not.
I easily thought of 5 ways:
1) Diet:
The first story that comes to mind was back in the late 80s one time when my dad stopped to get gas for his Ford Ranchero.
I asked him if I could get a candy bar inside the gas station. He reluctantly said yes, but went on to explain how unhealthy candy bars were, because of “all that sugar”. He told me how little boys my age needed to be eating healthier foods.
That made me curious. I then asked him when the last time he had eaten he candy bar. He replied, “Years… I probably was a boy. But I shouldn’t have, because those things aren’t healthy.”
Similarly, I can also specifically remember, around the same time, we were watching 20/20 on TV and there was a special about how kids were having heart attacks because of their diets.
My dad warned me if I didn’t start eating healthier foods, I could end up like those kids on TV who had heart attacks.
In our house, we never had white bread; only wheat. I felt deprived.
Granted, those elementary school years passed, then my teens, then my college years, and I ate horribly the whole time; whenever it was up to me. I didn’t heed his advice.
But by the time I reached my late 20s, I started seeing my processed food diet catch up with me…
Now, look at me. I am the strictest vegan anyone personally knows. If it weren’t for my dad, though, I wouldn’t currently be the healthy man I am.
If it weren’t for my dad, these days I would be a highly medicated guy: I would take something daily for severe allergy and sinus issues; and I would still constantly be suffering eczema, paying for prescription medicine to attempt to alleviate it, but not cure it.
That all went away when I became a vegan 2 and a half years ago; not to mention I’ve effortlessly remained in the perfect weight range for my height and weight since then.
I am confident that my dad’s “you better stop eating candy cars or you’re going to be a kid who has a heart attack” comments greatly influenced me for the good; even if I couldn’t appreciate it at the time.
It was ingrained in me from my dad that it’s important to prevent cancer and disease; not simply focus on the cure.
Here’s a webisode that he and I made with my son; which hints on the fact we don’t trust microwaves:
2) Being active:
Plus, my dad was always physically active. During my entire childhood, he participated in martial arts; he was a black belt. Back in 1992, he even won 1st place in the sparring competition, for his division in northern Alabama.
(As for me in modern day, I regularly run and go mountain biking; plus I take at least two 10 minute walks outside during my breaks.)
Quite regularly, I when I was a kid, I would go with my dad to his Tuesday night practices and workouts. I knew that he would let me get a cheeseburger at Hardee’s on the way home if I went with him.
Here’s another webisode that my dad and I made with my son; which features my dad in one of his classic karate uniforms:
3) Letting me make my own decisions
And perhaps that’s another way he influenced me: He let me make my own decisions, even sometimes when he knew there was a better way.
I’m not sure I’ll be as hands off with my own son. I don’t know that I can be as Libertarian with my son as my dad was with me.
But had my dad not been so laissez-faire with me (a policy or attitude of letting things take their own course, without interfering), there’s a good chance I would rebelled and acted out as a kid, teenager, and even a young adult.
So twenty years ago, during the reign of grunge, I had the long hair and the baggy jeans; and my dad never once revealed he was concerned about it.
Of course, my dad also taught me, by default, to be calm-assertive.
These qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. In all this, it was not only his words, but more importantly, his actions that inspired me how to live my life.
4) Faith
Going deeper, I grew up with my dad reading me stories from the Bible for my bedtime stories, teaching my Sunday School classes at our church, and leading the youth group at church.
Therefore, I do my best to lead my own family in the teachings of Christianity; not out of tradition, but as a way of life- serving others, not judging them.
I seriously doubt my blog would be called Family Friendly Daddy Blog if it weren’t for him. He never cussed, so neither do I. Curse words never seemed necessary in order to communicate something worth saying.
5) Politics
And when it comes to politics, I see that I have become my dad as well:
“Vote for the lesser of the two evils; whether that happens to be a Democrat or a Republican.” I remember he told me that a couple elections ago and it’s stuck with me.
A mindset like that requires an individual to use critical thinking beyond what they are taught by either the left wing or the right wing.
After all, they are both wings of the same bird.
Ultimately, he taught me to question the norm. And I do. That is a huge part of who I am.
It’s even one of the main reasons my wife started dating me, as she has told me before, “You always seem so confident in what you believe, even if it not what most other people believe.”
So really, the way I see it, it’s undeniable that my dad greatly influenced who I am. Today he turns 59 years old. Despite whatever gift card my wife and I mailed him for his birthday, these words today are my gift to him more than anything else.
You will turn 5 on Monday, November 16th. That’s about a week and a half from now!
For the past couple of months, you’ve been “nearly 5 months” in my head anyway. Soon, we’ll make it official.
For your whole life, you have been receiving a new book from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, each month. Today’s book apparently is the final one; as the program ends when you turn 5.
The book is called Look Out, Kindergarten, Here I Come! Granted, you won’t be starting Kindergarten until August 2016; around the time Mommy returns to work from being on maternity leave.
This week you also received your first birthday gift, in the mail. Tuesday afternoon as I was taking out the garbage, I noticed a box on our front step.
I assumed Mommy had ordered some maternity clothes from online. But we quickly figured out it was for you instead.
Someone sent you a really nice backpack with your name embroidered on it. You love it!
We all liked it so much that Mommy and I are considering getting another one and using it for Holly or Logan’s diaper bag.
This weekend you and I have a very special event coming up. We’ve been invited to attend the Nashville Auto Showthis weekend!
I have a feeling we’re going to have a lot of fun there; possibly getting to see cars so new they’re not even out yet.
I wonder if we’ll see anyone there that we know. Sounds like a perfect father-and-son activity for us to attend. We’ll have to take some pictures there to help expand my Instagram network: @nickshellwrites
And for your actual 5th birthday, we have something super duper special planned. With it being your last birthday as an only child, we decided to do more than just a birthday party this year…
I explained a few weeks ago the reasons why I’m convinced that you are a girl. That part won’t be a mystery much longer. Actually, a month from right now is when we’ll be finding out.
But I suppose I should write this letter to you today, just in the rare chance you’re actually a boy; as these next few weeks serve as the final moments for me to consider what it would be like to have another son.
This week Mommy sent me to Brilliant Sky to pick up a Christmas gift for your brother Jack. As I was walking in the toy store, I couldn’t help but notice a huge banner in the window.
It was promoting the newest character on the island of Sodor, which means he is a friend of Thomas the Train.
And of all possible names he could have, his name, is Logan.
Mommy and I decided that if you actually are a boy, it’s a given that we will buy the Logan train for you.
Last Christmas, we got your brother Jack the Jack character from Thomas the Train.
But I don’t think there’s a Holly character.
It’s actually a great challenge for me to mediate on the concept of you being a boy. One thing I can imagine is this: You will instantly adopt a massive Thomas the Train collection from your brother Jack, if you are a boy.
And an even greater Hot Wheels collection!
This is the week in which I officially can tell by looking at Mommy that he absolutely, without a doubt, pregnant.
What gives it away is her stomach. It’s obvious there is a baby inside there, and that baby is you.
Just a week ago it wasn’t noticeable, but now, it’s all right there. Mommy’s pregnancy with you looks different than how she looked with your brother Jack.
That’s because, I believe, he is a boy and you… are a girl.
Let me just start by saying, pregnancy truly is an amazing thing. The act of taking cells, that individually by themselves would just be cells and combining them to make another human life, is undeniably a miraculous thing. But along with the beauty of the creation of life, comes the sometimes unforgiving and relentless attacks and changes to the body, mind and life of the new mommy.
Now, I don’t want to complain, but you know that since I just started a sentence with those words, that I am about to complain, right?
What is with the nausea, the hunger, the tossing and turning at night, the pains that start turning up in random places in your body, the clothes that don’t fit right, the leg cramps, and some of the other strange occurrences that you barely want to share with your closest friends?
It seems appropriate that you should expect to endure one or two of those things, but how you get chosen to experience all of those is beyond me.
Forgive me because I know I do not have the worst of it and each pregnancy is different for every woman. And despite their annoyances, I do consider it a good sign that these signs are present because often times in pregnancy you fear the worst and sometimes these little nuances can be the confirmation you need to know that all is okay.
Again, I don’t mean to sound like the Debbie Downer of pregnancy, but it’s just a reminder of the labor of love that we get to experience (and let’s give some credit to our significant others, family members and friends who support us through it all) as we take this journey.
On a slightly heavier note, this little blog entry here is just a forum to share these light-hearted thoughts (and maybe, just maybe, get a little empathy from those around me). I recently read in a magazine that 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility and I know far too many people who have been affected by this news. I can only imagine what they must go through, and I certainly do not take that lightly.
Okay, sorry, I can’t end on a heavy note. Want to hear a funny story? Okay, so do I. Please add a comment with your funny story and make us all laugh.
