parenting

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This is 36: We Took Our 2 Young Kids on a 7 Hour Road Trip to Florida (So You Don’t Have To!)

Brave. Ambitious. Heroic.

Those are buzz words that people like to throw around these days when referencing someone who dares to go against the norm; someone who is willing to take risks that others dare not.

If that’s the case, then my wife and I are soon to be famous…

Because during past week, we willingly took a 7 hour road trip from Spring Hill, Tennessee (where we live) to Destin, Florida and back… with our 1 year-old daughter and our 6 and a half year-old son.

Not in a minivan. Not in a big SUV. But in a small car.

As Jeb Bush muttered during last year’s campaign… Please clap.

Now I want to warn you, over the next week or so, you will be presented with several blog posts about our recent road trip and vacation to Destin. Riding on tubes at the beach, digging up buried treasure, racing go-karts…

At times, you may even think, “Lucky them! What a cool, fun family! Looks like they’ve got it made!”

If those thoughts cross your mind, think back to this blog post…

In the midst of all the glory and splendor of our trip, we were also caring our daughter who was still recovering from an ear infection.

We were there during a holiday weekend, meaning we were at one point stuck in traffic for 2 and a half hours (during a stretch that should have barely taken us an hour) with that little girl who we were desperately trying to keep asleep, as her older brother who hadn’t had a nap that day was getting way too antsy.

Keep in mind that as we were sharing a condo with family (which definitely saved us money), at one point we got locked outside for about an hour, which delayed our daughter getting to bed that night on schedule. And by the way, it took hours to get her to sleep each night in that new environment, compared to her falling asleep within a few minutes back home in Tennessee.

Consider that the 4 of us all slept in a small room with very squeaky beds, which at any moment my son or my wife or I could (and sometimes did) easily wake the baby.

Near the middle of the vacation, my wife mutually proclaimed we would not be taking another trip like this for years.

Funny though, because by the last day of our trip, we both recanted, asking each other, “Hmm… when can we come do this again?”

Despite the chaos, we truly had a blast.

And the fact that we were in a 2017 Toyota Prius Three, that meant we did the entire road trip on just two tanks of gas! Plus, we very easily stuffed the hatchback with all our stuff. We actually had plenty of room. My wife even rode in the back seat with the kids a few times, while I drove up front.

Our road trip not only produced awesome memories (and photos to prove it), but it helped build character for our family. And I’m all about character arc, because in my opinion, that’s what makes a good story.

I wouldn’t have had it any other way, actually. I think it’s obvious that my wife and I are wired for a good challenge.

We survived. We did it!

This is 36.  

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, funny, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

This is 36: How I Got Locked Outside of My House While Accidentally Wearing a Mustache

Tuesday afternoon my wife took our kids out to run an errand. We all had the day off, since we had just returned from our vacation to Florida. I decided to stay home while they were out, as it would give me about an hour and 20 minutes of uninterrupted time to finish unpacking from our trip.

The first order of business was actually to shave my beard. I had made a point not to shave while on vacation- just one less thing to worry about in my attempt to relax for a week in the sun.

I already had several days’ stubble before we even left for Destin, so by the time we got back nearly a week later, I had a decent beard going on.

But before I shaved it off, I decided to shoot a quick video for one of my YouTube channels, which caters to young men who are freaking out about seeing the first signs of hair loss. (Yes, I make a supplemental income from that; currently about $50 a month.)

I wanted to make a video which made it seem like people were demanding I grow a mustache, which is hilarious, because obviously a white guy under the age of 40 who isn’t a cop can’t get away with wearing a mustache.

So I shaved off everything but the mustache and walk outside, where there was better natural lighting, and began shooting the video; which again, was a complete joke in itself. I like to keep my 1500 YouTube subscribers on their toes.

 

But after I recorded the video, I realized I had locked myself out of the house. I knew it would be more than an hour before my wife came back home with the kids.

Then down came the rain, accompanied by some light thunder and lightning. And I was barefoot too.

At least I was able to find shelter on our covered front porch. Before my phone battery died, as I was down to about 15% at this point, I figured I might as well commemorate the occasion with a video explaining, behind the scenes, what had happened.

So there you go. That’s how I ended up locked outside of my own house, in the rain, barefoot, while accidentally wearing a mustache.

This is 36.

 

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: Making Super Mario Jump Sounds for Actual Words

1 year, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

Mommy and I both noticed the same thing about your hair over the past week or so. Not only is it getting thicker, but the red tint is transforming into a golden hue.

I’ve caught myself calling you Goldie here recently. It’s not that your hair is blonde. It’s more gold than it is yellow. It’s undeniably golden.

Your brother’s hair was never this color. When he was your age, his hair was light blonde. And now that he’s 6 and a half years old, it has transitioned into a sandy brown. But he never had a red or golden tint at any point.

So I wonder what color your hair will transition to by the time you’re his age.

Maybe I find this more fascinating that most parents would, but I am so amazed that those long lost Scottish and Irish genes in our family tree. The hidden recessive traits are making themselves known in you.

Something else going on with you these days is it’s becoming obvious you are getting eager to start talking. While your actual vocabulary is pretty much limited to “Dadda-dadda-dadda” (me) and “Mama-mama-mama” (Mommy) and “Jaah-ja-ja” (your brother), you are now making sounds in place of words.

These placeholder sounds like identical to Super Mario when he jumps, from the original 1985 Super Mario Bros. game: “Mah-mau?”

You’ll crawl over to one of your books, then bring it back to me, like a puppy. Then you hand it to me and say, “Mau? Mah-mau?”

The obvious translation is, “Well, Daddy, are you going to read me this book, or what?”

You also have a habit of crawling over to fruit pouches when you’re hungry, then looking to me: “Mau? Mah-mau?”

The obvious translation is, “Well, Daddy, you know what to do. It’s time for you to help me eat this.”

While I will be very happy for you when you can start using actual words from the English dictionary, I am thoroughly enjoying the Super Mario jump sounds in the meantime.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You Graduated Kindergarten This Week!

6 and a half years.

Dear Jack,

This Tuesday, just a few days after you won your Math Award in front of the entire school, Mommy and I made our way back- this time, to watch our 6 and a half year-old son graduate Kindergarten.

The festivities began with a presentation in which your entire Kindergarten grade sang a song, which reviewed to us parents all that you learned this year.

Afterwards, we made our way to your classroom, where your (pregnant) teacher presented each individual student with a specific award.

What’s funny about this is that before we all left the house that morning, I took your picture while you held a small chalkboard reading, “When I grow up, I want to be an artist.”

There’s no way that when Mommy came up with the idea for me to take that picture of you, she could have known your teacher would be presenting you with the Amazing Artist Award!

You teacher then presented a 15 minute slideshow on Power Point, which reviewed all the fun your class had this year. And sure enough, she had a picture further reconfirming your focus on becoming an artist when you grow up.

During the presentation, you stood next to your best friend, Duncan. Amazingly, Duncan’s parents were the only other parents in the Lamaze class we were in, 7 years ago.

Imagine the chances that our sons would not only end up in the same Kindergarten class, and naturally end up becoming best friends.

And we didn’t even discover that we knew Duncan’s parents until about a month or so ago, when Duncan’s Mommy figured it out.

What a cool story!

Alright then, you are no longer a Kindergartner. You are our awesome soon-to-be 1st grader! Mommy and I are so proud of you. You are some kid.

Love,

Daddy

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: You Evolve into the Snubbull Pokemon When You Get “Hangry” (Hungry + Angry)

1 year, 1 month.

Dear Holly,

I admit- it’s a rare thing to ever see you upset about anything. You’re just a happy, beboppin’ little girl.

You assume the world is all marshmallows and unicorns, and I feel that Mommy and I do our best to make sure that is indeed the case, as best we can.

Undeniably, you are the kind of the baby girl who I just naturally want to make happy. You’re low-maintenance- and of course, you’re adorable! You’re the epitome of cuteness.

With that being said, thanks to your 6 and a half year-old brother, I am now quite familiar with the fundamentals of Pokemon characters; how many of them have the ability to evolve into stronger, fiercer versions of themselves.

Every single day when your brother comes home from school, he eagerly shows me the newest Pokemon cards he received by trading some others that he had just received days before.

As I was flipping through the 4 new cards he got that day, Snubbull immediately stopped me in my tracks:

“Why does this one look so familiar?” I thought to myself. I just couldn’t figure it out.

But just a few days later, I came home from work, to a beautiful strawberry-blonde little girl who was literally changing colors, as she morphed into an angry red version of her usual self.

That was a result of you being equally hungry and tired, yet Mommy and I couldn’t get you fastened into your high chair fast enough.

It wasn’t until I took these pictures later that day that the theory presented itself: that you evolve into Snubbull, the Pokemon fairy, when you are “hangry”.

I don’t want my little girl to have to evolve into a Pokemon character. It’s just too sad to see you upset. I just want to keep you happy, Sweetie!

Love,

Daddy