Last night as we were finishing up dinner, you stated that you wanted to work on a paper hat for your stuffed Panda bear, Pandy.
I explained that you might not have enough time to really get started on that, as it soon would be time to go upstairs and get ready for bed.
Immediately, out of nowhere, you began crying, “But Pandy’s birthday is tomorrow!”
I had to turn my head to keep you from letting you see me laugh; Mommy too.
Somehow I had not been informed that Pandy’s birthday was coming up. Therefore, I gladly let you work on Pandy’s birthday party decorations. From there, you explained to me that also, Blue Cheetie’s birthday is on Kwanzaa, and Ellie’s is the day before, on Christmas day.
Shortly after, I learned that this week at your Pre-K, Rainbow Childcare Center, you have been learning all about the tradition religious and cultural holidays of this month.
You quickly explained to Mommy that Hannukah has 8 days of celebration and Kwanzaa has 7 days.
Obviously, you’ve been paying attention at school; so much so that you are incorporating it into your playtime at home.
Though apparently, none of your stuffed animals’ birthdays happen to be on Hannukah. I was really hoping to see you make a menorah out of paper. Maybe next year.
It’s such a coincidence that their birthdays all happen to be on special days like all these you learned about at school. But I suppose it’s similar to the way that your baby sister, Holly, is due right around my 35th birthday; on April 20th, 2016.
My favorite part of this story is that Pandy is turning 2 today, yet you’ve had her for over 4 years now. I guess in Panda years, a year takes twice as long.
Last weekend we met up with one of Mommy’s seven brothers and his family in Bryson City, North Carolina; where we boarded the Polar Express (from the the movie and book of the same title).
We turned in our golden tickets to get on the train and were shortly after given hot chocolate, before riding past Santa’s house and toy shop in the North Pole.
My personal favorite part was when Santa entered our train car, and out of your pocket you pulled some catalog clippings of items on your wish list, from the store Brilliant Sky.
I had no idea you had schemed this!
Forget the traditional wish list… you were all prepared with a full color ad of exactly what you wanted. You were ready and waiting for that exact moment and opportunity.
(Santa was actually unaware that one of those items was on your list, so it looks like Christmas shopping isn’t quite complete yet.
Every Christmas until now, your visit to Santa has been at the Bass Pro Shop in Nashville; during which you’ve been slightly intimidated to talk to him.
Not this time. You were all business.
Santa immediately tucked the catalog clippings into his pocket and reminded you, “Now be a good boy for me.”
You matter-of-factly agreed and then Santa was on his way to the kid in the sit next to you.
Despite the natural shakiness of the train, one of my pictures that turned out the best was the one of you with Santa.
Not only was this an amazing experience because you got to meet Santa this year, but also because it took place on a train.
What 5 year-old little boy doesn’t have an appreciation and/or fascination for trains?
You’ve already asked when we can ride the Polar Express again.
We just got back from your “destination birthday party” in Destin, Florida. Instead of having a party back home in Tennessee, the 3 of us (technically 4, if you count Baby Holly or Logan in the womb) decided to take a family vacation to celebrate your 5th birthday. To make things extra special for you, Lexus let us drive a Lexus GX for the trip!
Over the next week or so, I’ll be writing plenty more about your destination birthday party. But as for today, I should mention one of the overall themes our 4 ½ day vacation.
As we were leaving Tennessee, I Instagrammed a picture of you with the stuffed animals you chose to bring on the trip.
Jack is bringing a few of his friends along for the ride.
In the likeness of the 1985 movie Brewster’s Millions, you felt the need to spend all $100’s worth of your gift cards you received as birthday presents before we left Florida.
Mommy and I put the additional cash and checks that you received into your savings account, but as the $100 in gift cards, we decided it was fair to let you manage how it was spent.
After all, it was your birthday party and birthday weekend. Mommy and I wanted it to truly be a big deal to you.
So as soon as we arrived in Destin, we stopped at a Barnes & Noble where you spent your first $15; on a “Shark Week” shark.
And the beginning of the birthday money spending begins…
We took you to Target to let you possibly spend some of your remaining $85. While Mommy looked around for stuff she needed, I hung out with you for nearly an hour in the toy aisle; serving as your budget manager.
I helped explain to you how much things cost and how much remaining birthday money you would have if you bought that item.
For example, you were interested in a Power Ranger gun that you had seen on their show… but it cost $27!
You ended up buying a $13 Play-Doh ice cream shop. And boy did you have fun with that once we got back to the resort!
However, that was the only item you spent your $100 on that wasn’t a stuffed animal.
You later bought a baby shark while we were on the dolphin cruise. And then a baby penguin when we visited the Gulfarium. Then several more stuffed animals throughout the course of our trip…
Of course, we reminded you that you didn’t have to spend all $100 on the trip. But again, it was your birthday, so we wanted it to be your decision on how you spent the money; since it wasn’t cash that Mommy and I would have put in your savings account without you knowing it.
We reminded you had enough money to buy anything at all you wanted… even a brand-new bike!
However, the reality of it is that as a 5 year-old boy whose parents both work full time, there’s not a lot of time for you to ride your bike; especially since how weekends are often filled with running errands, like buying groceries and getting maintenance done on our cars.
When I considered which toys you actually spend the most time playing with, it’s not the plastic ones so much.
Granted, you love building Legos and you love your massive Hot Wheels and Thomas the Train collections… but ultimately, your exhaustive stuffed animal collection gets the most play time.
Every morning when we get ready for school, you always choose 2 animals to take to school with you.
I get it. You don’t see them as toys, but as real animals that you enjoy taking care of. You love pretend that they are babies that you are in charge of.
Granted, that concept goes well with the fact you have a baby brother or sister on the way…
I recognize these stuffed animals serve as tools for your psychological and social development. They’re much more than just stuffed animals.
So it doesn’t bother me that you spent $100 on stuffed animals (and a Play-Doh set) during your destination birthday party. I’m all for it.
I’m for whatever toys are going to help your development as a little boy. You spent most of your $100 on stuffed animals because in your currency, they hold more value than any other kind of toy.
Ultimately, a decade from now, it’s all the same anyway. Looking back, I’ll know that whether you spent your birthday money on stuffed animals or Power Rangers or Ninja Turtles, it made you happy as a boy on 5th birthday.
Good morning. You are officially 5 years old today!
I’m so glad you are. The older you get, the closer our relationship grows.
The way I look at it is sort of like a good road trip. You have to appreciate the journey as much as the destination. As you and I both grow older and mature together as individual human beings, we also are able to know each other better as well.
Just today you were asking me about the first time you spoke “real words” to me and I understood them; and you understood me back.
You’re old enough now to where years have actually passed since those days of helping you learn to talk; back when many of your first words I taught you were vehicles we saw on the way to and from daycare each day.
“Jeep!”
“Mustang!”
“Dump truck!”
The older you get, the more I am able to appreciate our relationship and our time together.
Five years ago I was clueless on how to be a parent. I had to figure it all out together with Mommy.
These days, the guessing games and the related frustrations are gone. I know you now.
Granted, you’ve got a baby brother or sister on the way in April. This is your final birthday as an “only child”. And as for me, I’ll be thrown back into the mode of changing diapers and preparing bottles.
Imagine how much you will change, for the better, when you are Mommy and Daddy’s much needed helper!
I remember how surprised I was back when you were a newborn, having parents who are both of Italian heritage (and Mexican on my side), ended up with blonde hair and blue eyes.
And I also remember several people said your hair would get darker and your eyes would change color.
But you’re 5 now, and your eyes are still blue and you pretty much still kind of have blonde hair. You’ve made it this far still looking this way!
It still amazes me.
Happy 5th Birthday, Jack. I’ve got plenty more letters to write you and we’ve got plenty more growing up to do together.
This morning as my wife and I were getting ready for work, we were talking about the concept of how parents can influence their kids, even without trying to.
For example, no matter how much you praise your child on their abilities, talents, and looks, they can be just as influenced by the way you, the parent, see yourself.
As Bekah on The Wally Show explained yesterday morning, a mother who picks herself apart in front of the mirror will often, by default, teach her daughter to do the same; no matter how much the mother compliments the daughter.
We learn so much from our parents.
Today is my dad’s 59th birthday. So naturally, having just had this conversation, I’ve been thinking all day about the ways my dad made me who I am; whether he meant to or not.
I easily thought of 5 ways:
1) Diet:
The first story that comes to mind was back in the late 80s one time when my dad stopped to get gas for his Ford Ranchero.
I asked him if I could get a candy bar inside the gas station. He reluctantly said yes, but went on to explain how unhealthy candy bars were, because of “all that sugar”. He told me how little boys my age needed to be eating healthier foods.
That made me curious. I then asked him when the last time he had eaten he candy bar. He replied, “Years… I probably was a boy. But I shouldn’t have, because those things aren’t healthy.”
Similarly, I can also specifically remember, around the same time, we were watching 20/20 on TV and there was a special about how kids were having heart attacks because of their diets.
My dad warned me if I didn’t start eating healthier foods, I could end up like those kids on TV who had heart attacks.
In our house, we never had white bread; only wheat. I felt deprived.
Granted, those elementary school years passed, then my teens, then my college years, and I ate horribly the whole time; whenever it was up to me. I didn’t heed his advice.
But by the time I reached my late 20s, I started seeing my processed food diet catch up with me…
Now, look at me. I am the strictest vegan anyone personally knows. If it weren’t for my dad, though, I wouldn’t currently be the healthy man I am.
If it weren’t for my dad, these days I would be a highly medicated guy: I would take something daily for severe allergy and sinus issues; and I would still constantly be suffering eczema, paying for prescription medicine to attempt to alleviate it, but not cure it.
That all went away when I became a vegan 2 and a half years ago; not to mention I’ve effortlessly remained in the perfect weight range for my height and weight since then.
I am confident that my dad’s “you better stop eating candy cars or you’re going to be a kid who has a heart attack” comments greatly influenced me for the good; even if I couldn’t appreciate it at the time.
It was ingrained in me from my dad that it’s important to prevent cancer and disease; not simply focus on the cure.
Here’s a webisode that he and I made with my son; which hints on the fact we don’t trust microwaves:
2) Being active:
Plus, my dad was always physically active. During my entire childhood, he participated in martial arts; he was a black belt. Back in 1992, he even won 1st place in the sparring competition, for his division in northern Alabama.
(As for me in modern day, I regularly run and go mountain biking; plus I take at least two 10 minute walks outside during my breaks.)
Quite regularly, I when I was a kid, I would go with my dad to his Tuesday night practices and workouts. I knew that he would let me get a cheeseburger at Hardee’s on the way home if I went with him.
Here’s another webisode that my dad and I made with my son; which features my dad in one of his classic karate uniforms:
3) Letting me make my own decisions
And perhaps that’s another way he influenced me: He let me make my own decisions, even sometimes when he knew there was a better way.
I’m not sure I’ll be as hands off with my own son. I don’t know that I can be as Libertarian with my son as my dad was with me.
But had my dad not been so laissez-faire with me (a policy or attitude of letting things take their own course, without interfering), there’s a good chance I would rebelled and acted out as a kid, teenager, and even a young adult.
So twenty years ago, during the reign of grunge, I had the long hair and the baggy jeans; and my dad never once revealed he was concerned about it.
Of course, my dad also taught me, by default, to be calm-assertive.
These qualities are only the tip of the iceberg. In all this, it was not only his words, but more importantly, his actions that inspired me how to live my life.
4) Faith
Going deeper, I grew up with my dad reading me stories from the Bible for my bedtime stories, teaching my Sunday School classes at our church, and leading the youth group at church.
Therefore, I do my best to lead my own family in the teachings of Christianity; not out of tradition, but as a way of life- serving others, not judging them.
I seriously doubt my blog would be called Family Friendly Daddy Blog if it weren’t for him. He never cussed, so neither do I. Curse words never seemed necessary in order to communicate something worth saying.
5) Politics
And when it comes to politics, I see that I have become my dad as well:
“Vote for the lesser of the two evils; whether that happens to be a Democrat or a Republican.” I remember he told me that a couple elections ago and it’s stuck with me.
A mindset like that requires an individual to use critical thinking beyond what they are taught by either the left wing or the right wing.
After all, they are both wings of the same bird.
Ultimately, he taught me to question the norm. And I do. That is a huge part of who I am.
It’s even one of the main reasons my wife started dating me, as she has told me before, “You always seem so confident in what you believe, even if it not what most other people believe.”
So really, the way I see it, it’s undeniable that my dad greatly influenced who I am. Today he turns 59 years old. Despite whatever gift card my wife and I mailed him for his birthday, these words today are my gift to him more than anything else.
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