November 16, 2013 at 12:23 am , by Nick Shell
Three years old!
While I’ve been writing about you since the day Mommy and I went public with the fact Mommy was pregnant, back on April 13, 2010, it wasn’t until exactly one year ago on your 2nd birthday that I wrote directly to you for the first time.
I meant it as just a special, one time thing.
But I got addicted… and after that first time, I decided to officially change my format of writing about you, to where I write to you.
Exactly a year has passed since that night I sat at our coffee table and cried so hard, realizing my love for you.
Tonight, I’m less emotional in that sense. Instead, I’m feeling fully grounded in how I feel about you and how I understand my love for you.
Instead of a groundbreaking ephiphany, today I simply am grateful for the gift of peace of mind and heart; a gift the world can not give.
In this moment, that is my life. I think of that song, “On Top Of The World” by Imagine Dragons, to describe how I feel about you and me:
“I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.”
For me, this year will be remembered as the year I discovered the importance of praying for wisdom, humility, and grace.
Those are three things I need every day to be the man who appreciates the priviledge, responsibility, and blessings of loving you and Mommy.
Love isn’t easy, as I’ve to written you before.
But honestly, raising you is getting so easy these days. Not that changing diapers was ever a big deal to me, but you’re transitioning your way into “big boy underwear” now, for example.
You can talk! We have conversations! Real conversations!
You can identify the difference between Fords and Chevys by looking at their logos. How cool is that?
And I definitely don’t know how you do it, but you can not only tell the difference between a Mustang and Camaro, but know whether it’s a new or an old one.
And I think, “Man, I taught you how to do that!” Our long drives to school and back everyday serve as an opportunity for me to teach you something.
I like teaching you something. I always will. That’s one of the things I love most about being your Daddy.
When I’m showing you the world, even in its seemingly most frivolous details, I feel alive and connected to the universe.
It’s like you and the universe are sort of the same thing anyway.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Son. I love you with all that I have.