I realize that for 97% of the population, a dream about eating meat would not be deemed as a nightmare. But for me, it is every time. I have these kinds of dreams about once every couple of months, at least.
It’s funny how that’s how my brain subconsciously creates a “bad” dream. But imagine if you were me:
No pork or shellfish (kosher) since November 2008, no meat at all since December 2011, no animal products at all (including eggs, cheese, milk, or any dairy) since April 2013.
Imagine that’s your life. Then consider what it was like last night for me to dream this:
I was on my way to see a movie with my son. But in a hurry and in need of a quick meal, I stopped by McDonald’s and bought a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
Sure, it tasted great. But immediately, I was racked with guilt, knowing that eating this cheeseburger not only disqualified me from being a vegan and a vegetarian after all these years, but also from being kosher; since a kosher-abiding person cannot consume dairy product along the meat in the same meal.
Then, in the dream, I began trying to figure out how I would explain this to my wife. Before she or I even became vegetarians, she was never okay with me going to McDonald’s.
As expected, it wasn’t too long before the undigested meat began racing through my digestive track. Oh yes- you guessed it- a race to the restroom…
And I’m sure that’s exactly what would happen if I did suddenly did eat meat and cheese.
The most interesting part of this nightmare was that I began questioning whether it may just be a dream. So I began saying out loud, “Wake up… this probably isn’t real!”
I guess it worked. I woke up. But I’ve been having flashbacks all day long.
So if you eat meat, be glad you don’t have to deal with these kinds of nightmares.
Below is the video version of this blog post, where I go into a mysterious tunnel…
I always assumed that in order to take it to the next level, up from already being a caffeine-free vegan, I would need to add “gluten-free” to my list of self-imposed rigid restrictions over my life…
Furthermore, I assumed that by completely nixing gluten (wheat) from my diet, I would discover even more health benefits; like how when I became a vegan: my eczema, constant sinus pressure, reoccurring sinusitis, and pet allergies all went away in just a matter of days.
Plus, I had hoped (also like when I became a vegan), I would accidentally lose some weight (since I recently admitted to gaining 7 pounds over the course of the past year when I ate vegan chocolate bars and tater tots with my pregnant wife).
Well, after a month of being gluten-free, I can officially confirm that none of those things came true for me.
I have a feeling you were expecting me to say that going gluten-free totally changed my life, because that definitely seems to be the trendy thing to say these days.
And for the people who say that, I’m confident it’s true for them. I am happy for them that they found what works for them. I give them all my moral support.
But personally speaking, based on my experiment, the gluten-free experience didn’t impress me.
Time after time, I turned down all kinds of magnificent vegan gluten-containing foods. At the Ponce De Leon Whole Foods where we ate several times, they had a tempting vegan pizza bar as well as plenty of other fun vegan yet gluten-filled delights. And I said no, for the sake of my gluten-free experiment. I sacrificed during an inconvenient time!
But in the end, I saw no benefits.
Granted, I lost 2 of the 7 pounds I had gained for the “vegan chocolate bar and tater tot” incident. However, that easily could have been for the fact I don’t eat vegan chocolate bars or tater tots any more.
I am willing to acknowledge though, that gluten-free is a way of life for many people. However, I am not one of those people.
My body processes gluten just fine; no issues at all. But the trade-off is, I can’t process eggs or dairy without major instant health issues.
As for my future with gluten, the experience has taught me this: I prefer corn tortillas over wheat.
So as my wife makes Mexican meals, I will continue to only eat corn tortillas; not wheat. And I truly enjoy spelt and quinoa in her Italian meals, which we have been eating more of here lately.
In the end, I won’t eat as much wheat as before. Going gluten-free opened my eyes to other options. Yet still, gluten is my friend.
Being a vegan keeps my addiction of overeating in check. I can’t trust myself with eating animal products. And I shouldn’t.
I’ve overeaten my entire life. Before and since becoming a vegan.
As a kid, I got away with it because I had a high metabolism. As a 4th grader, I remember how I would get the Double Whopper combo meal and finish it all. I would eat at buffets, consuming more food that most adults; and I know this because adults would tell me.
In my mind, if I wasn’t overeating, I wasn’t really eating.
As a teen and young adult, I would be the guy who would eat the most pizza or the most fried chicken at gatherings.
My metabolism finally caught up with me full swing by the time I got married, at age 27. That’s when my health problems came in full swing, as well. Even though my metabolism slowed down, my desire to overeat never did.
As you know by now, committing to the vegan lifestyle over 3 years ago has eliminated and kept my former health issues in remission; including eczema (dyshidrosis), constant sinusitis, pet allergies, and sinus pressure.
I’ve realized that one of the many benefits of being a vegan is that, for the most part, I can pretty much each as much as I want of the food I am able to eat.
Now granted, eating oily tater tots and sugary vegan chocolate bars did cause me to gain 7 pounds in the past year while I was “sympathy eating” with my pregnant wife.
But when I stick with my normal regimen of veggies, fruit, grains, beans, nuts, and seeds, I’ve learned that I can get away with “overeating”. Ultimately, I just don’t have to worry about counting calories or portion control.
The reason for this is because by sticking with those 6 food groups, I am eating food solely for nutrition, including my daily allowance of protein and good fats; yet with 0% of my daily allowance of cholesterol.
I overeat simply because it’s fun. I openly admit this.
I’m not overeating because of some traumatic event in my life, nor because I feel incomplete in some way. I just simply like eating more food that I need to.
It’s fun.
If I ever went back to eating meat, eggs, and dairy, I would go so far the other way with it. I know it. I would be visiting the Wendy’s drive-thru on a daily basis.
Eating food is something I can’t be trusted with. I have no control when it comes to food.
Therefore, I keep myself safe behind the electric fence of veganism.
I am not addicted to alcohol. I have never used drugs.
But when it comes to food, I rely on the strict limitations of veganism in order to keep myself from getting out of control… because I am an addict of overeating.
From the time I was my heaviest back in 2008 when I got married, I reached 178 pounds. That may not sound too heavy for a guy, but at 5’9”, I was actually “overweight” according the height/weight chart.
And I know… many people don’t like to take those charts seriously. But I do, on a personal level. Because at my heaviest, I also had health problems like eczema; as well as constant sinus pressure, and reoccurring sinusitis, and pet allergies.
My theory is that with the extra weight on my body, along with it came health problems.
On Thanksgiving Day of 2008 (a few months after getting married), I became like a faithful Jew and gave up pork and shellfish. That was the beginning of the slippery slope, as I found myself becoming a vegetarian by December of 2011.
By April 2013, I became a full vegan, and in the process, I accidentally went from a size 34 to size 31 pants. That summer I got down to 153 pounds, without even trying.
That means I lost 25 pounds in the process of getting healthy. Yet losing weight was never my goal; I just wanted to be healthy.
As you know, all my previously mentioned health problems have disappeared and remained in remission since becoming a vegan.
For the majority of these past 3 years of being a vegan, I leveled out and remained right at around 155 pounds. Until this past year…
With my vegetarian wife being pregnant from July 2015 to April 2016, she began craving “fun food”. So I began picking up vegan chocolate bars at Whole Foods Market on the way home for work.
It began a normal thing for us to go through a whole bag or two of tater tots over the course of each week.
Keep in mind, we were still eating our normal healthy meals too. But ultimately, both the chocolate bars and the tater tots contained oil; which we typical avoid. Not to mention, the chocolate bars also contained extra sugar as well.
Remember what I always point out about veganism:
Being a vegan forces a person to consume 0% of their daily cholesterol; as the amount of cholesterol even in the fattiest vegan foods (cashews, avocados, and even oil) still never reaches 1%.
Even so, I was at 162 pounds when my daughter was born 3 months ago; which is about 7 pounds is heavier than I’m used to.
My size 31 pants were so tight in the waist that I asked my wife more than once if she recently had begun drying our clothes on a higher heat setting.
Nope. It was the all the vegan chocolate bars and tater tots over the course of the past year.
Four weeks ago, I nixed those items from my diet, along with all fried foods, and gluten.
While I haven’t publicly announced I am now gluten-free in addition to being a caffeine-free vegan, it’s working for me so far.
I’ve lost 2 of the 7 pounds so far and I physically feel better.
So yes, it’s possible for a vegan to gain weight just by eating foods with more oil and sugar.
Granted, it took me an entire year to accidentally gain those 7 pounds. Now the question is, how long will it take to lose it all?
I guess there’s more than one way to be a bad vegan. The first that comes to mind is one that “cheats”, by promoting the plant-based life to others, while sneaking in bites of chicken nuggets and dollar menu burgers.
However, I can confidently confirm that I have never intentionally “slipped up”. To my knowledge, I have not consumed any animal products since April 2013, nor any meat since December 2011. I have remained ever faithful to my alternative lifestyle choice.
The second idea that comes to mind when I think of a “bad vegan” is someone who is overzealous and appears to be judgmental of those who do not share their same strict values; eager to convert the rest of the world, especially through offensive images and stories of guilt and animal cruelty.
I admit, that was me for about a month after my conversion. I am still embarrassed by some of the memes I created for my Facebook page back in the summer of 2013.
But I got over my zealot stage, realizing that even if I could legitimately convince the world that eating animal products is unnecessary, it still would never matter.
Because for most people, the information I know and live by is not enough to change their minds or hearts.
I have accepted the reality that people continue to eat animals products because A) they think they need to in order to get enough protein or proper nutrition, B) they fear escaping the social norm, B) it’s more convenient, C) it’s an emotional tradition, and/or D) they simply like it.
After all, I’m a proud Libertarian (who’s not voting for Trump or Clinton). Since embarrassing myself on Facebook 3 summers ago, I have embraced my fundamental Liberation beliefs:
Sit back and watch other people make their own decisions. If they decide what they are doing is not working for them, they will get curious enough to ask someone else who seems to have things figured out.
I was so proud this weekend when a high school friend approached me about how to transition to a vegan lifestyle, as he is tired of digestion issues and being overweight.
He has an open mind about the plant-based life. He doesn’t let his preconceived ideas get in the way of making a positive change in his life. But he doesn’t represent the majority, as I’ve learned and accepted.
With that being said, here’s how I’m like the worst vegan ever:
I openly encourage the free world to eat whatever they want, since I can’t.
When someone brings donuts to work, I make sure everyone knows about it, proclaiming, “Hey, go get a donut or two, because you can. I’m a vegan, so that means someone needs to take my share; otherwise, that donut will just go stale.”
It usually makes the person laugh, followed by them going to get two donuts.
I also try to help people decide what to eat on their lunch break. When I go by other guys’ desks, I’ll suggest, “You know, you could totally go by Wendy’s for lunch and get a big cheesy burger. I can’t since I’m a vegan, but you should!”
And they know I’m not being sarcastic. They know me well enough to realize that if I wasn’t keeping my eczema, acne, headaches, sinus infections, sinus pressure, and pet allergies in complete remission by remaining committed to the vegan lifestyle, I never would have converted.
I would still be the world’s most passionate carnivore!
Perhaps it’s my way of living vicariously through them. I remind them they have the freedom and ability to eat whatever they want, whereas I no longer do.
But by doing so, in sort of a backwards unspoken way, I am reminding them that I am there to help them if they ever get curious about getting healthy.
Gone are the days of trying to convince other people to live the plant-based life with me (except for my own family, that’s a whole different story) .
Instead, I point mainstream society in the other direction; the direction they are already going. They know where to find me if they need me.
I think that sort of makes me the worst vegan ever.
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