parenting

3 Comments Posted on marriage, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

My Reaction to the Chicco “Performance Review” Video, By Guest Blogger Jill Shell

 

This is a special blog post by Jill Shell, the wife of the man behind Family Friendly Daddy Blog.

Let me just start by stating the obvious: being a parent is hard work.  Anyone who has been lucky enough to have a child, or perhaps two or three (or more), can testify to this.  It is a full time job with endless responsibilities, long hours, restless nights, and well, you get the picture.  Tack onto this a job outside of the home and you bring life to a whole new level of “crazy.”  Our family welcomed a beautiful baby girl to the world 5 months ago and have been learning to get into a new groove of life with two working parents, a Kindergartner and an infant and it hasn’t been easy.

My Reaction to the Chicco "Performance Review" Video, By Guest Blogger Jill Shell

Before taking maternity leave, I worried about everything: about leaving my duties in the hands of others; about missing too much; about not being missed; about being replaced; about meeting the needs of two children at once; and mostly about returning to work and the numerous anxieties of leaving my kids and having to perform as if I hadn’t just brought another human being into the world.  It was a whirlwind of thoughts and angst that was building up in me, but seemingly it dissipated as the baby arrived and we began a new routine at home.  My focus was on my family and I was getting good at balancing the caring, the cooking, the cleaning, and everything in between.  When, alas, my four months was quickly coming to an end and the reality of being a working mom set in.

I’ve been back to work for 5 weeks now and it was harder than I could have ever imagined.  For the first three weeks back, it seemed like I could get to the middle of the week still afloat, but by Wednesday evening, I felt like the world was caving in on me.  Every minute of the day was spoken for and it was rush, rush, rush through it all.  I found myself day dreaming about any other way I could support the household income and raise my children at home.  Then it happened.  The transition period ended and it feels like we’ve gotten to a new level of “normal.”

As I look around, I see lots of families, moms and dads, in the same boat and it’s comforting to know that more people are there supporting you and watching you succeed, rather than waiting to see you fail.

 

After watching the Chicco “Performance Review” video which is part of their #NeverStopGrowing campaign, I love the response from Jess’s co-worker, Aaron, in the video where he sincerely tells her that he has no idea how she does what she does.  Because the truth is, Jess probably doesn’t even realize half of the tasks she takes on and completes.  She’s doing what she needs to do.  She’s found her new normal and with the help of her family and co-workers, realizing it’s a natural fit.

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, funny, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: You Become a Sleepy Marshmallow When Either Nonna or Aunt Dana Holds You

21 weeks.

Dear Holly: You Become a Sleepy Marshmallow When Nonna or Aunt Dana Hold You

Dear Holly,

One of my main roles when I am holding you or playing with you is to challenge you both physically and socially.

For example, I hold you to where your feet are touching the ground, so you have to stand up; therefore building your muscle and improving your balance. Plus, I am constantly testing your social reaction time by making different noises and moving objects around you to see your heard turn to follow and to make noises back at me.

Truly, it’s an intense and involved process when you’re with me. Granted, the whole time I’m telling you how cute and adorable you are…

And it’s not that Mommy nor your brother aren’t cooing over you either, because we all treat you like the adorable, lovable little girl you are.

It’s just that I couldn’t help but notice whenever you are back in Alabama with Nonna and Aunt Dana, it’s like you become this different little baby… because you know you can get away with it.

In such a relaxed environment away from the hustle and bustle of the Nashville life we are used to, you know you get to just be lazy.

So when Nonna holds you, it’s as if you just melt into a marshmallow state of being. You just get sleepy and take a one hour nap like it’s nothing.

But first, as I joke to everyone, your IQ drops first…

Even though you have developed social and physical skills in your 4 and a half months out of the womb, it’s like you just forget about all that; instead pretending to be a newborn who doesn’t know any better.

I witnessed this hilarious situation with you when Aunt Dana had you: She sat you in her lap and wrapped you up in a blanket, leaving only your head exposed, as your watched your brother Jack and cousin Calla play for nearly an hour.

It took me several minutes to even see you there, as you never made a sound. You just quietly chilled out, as if you were hiding.

This is proof that different members of the family, in a more relaxed environment, can bring out a different side of you when you are around them.

When you’re with them, you can get away with just being a sleepy marshmallow.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: To You, a Person’s Hair or Eye Color is Just as Much (or Little) as a Defining Trait as Their Skin Color

5 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack: To You, a Person’s Hair or Eye Color is Just as Much (or Little) as a Defining Trait as Their Skin Color

Dear Jack,

While we spent this past weekend at Nonna and Papa’s in Fort Payne, Alabama, I made a comment about how your baby sister Holly is so pink. Just by being out under the overcast, cloudy sky for a few hours on Saturday, she managed to get a bit sunburned; which made her an even darker shade of pink than she naturally is.

After you heard me say a few times that your sister is the color pink, you thought back to the bedtime song I taught you, “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious is His sight; Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

Wanting to learn more about how people can be different colors, you asked me, “Daddy, who is white?”

I attempted to explain, holding a white piece of paper up to my tan arm: “Well, my skin color is called white, but as you can see, there’s a lot of difference in my skin color and this piece of paper. It’s more like everybody is a shade of brown.”

Your next question was directed to Papa, as you noticed his skin is even tanner than mine; and definitely darker than yours or your sister’s:

“Papa, are you black?” you asked in complete sincerity and innocent curiosity.

The fact you are nearly 6 years-old and still don’t know the generic colors that society identifies as is because I haven’t made a point to explain it to you. I haven’t seen a reason to.

On your own, you have recognized that certain people have darker skin than you, but it’s never been exclusive to someone who is of any certain race.

For example, one of your teachers is from Pakistan; you know that she has very dark skin, but you don’t know what her race is; nor do you care.

From what I can tell, a person’s hair color or eye color is just as much (or little) as a defining trait as their skin.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Your Sister Truly Adores You More than I Realized

5 years, 9 months.

Dear Jack: Your Sister Truly Adores You More than I Realized

Dear Jack,

It is important to me that the good and healthy relationship between you and your baby sister is not fabricated or superficial. I don’t want you to hear me saying to another adult, “Ah, he loves his sister and she loves him. They really love each other,” and then in turn you began fulfilling the script in an effort to please me.

Instead, I want to see true mutual love between you to; real and natural.

I have to say, my expectations have been exceeded greatly. You have yet to ever act intimidated by the attention she gets for being the cute little baby girl she is.

What I see instead, is that you are confident in yourself. You are not competing with her.

I say this because one of the first thoughts I had when Mommy and I learned that Holly would be coming, was, “I need to proactively make sure Jack gets enough attention since he won’t be the only child anymore.”

But honestly, it has yet to be an issue. You’re our Kindergartner boy. You are independent and assured.

Your identity is secure in being our firstborn son, not our baby girl. I see no struggle on your end for you to compete for your parents’ attention.

Just take a look at this picture I took of you and your sister before school. Obviously, you’re so proud to have her as your sister.

But just look at the way she looks at you.

That’s how it always is.

I can be on the living floor playing with her while Mommy is making dinner, but the moment she hears or sees you walking in from the other room, she immediately turns her attention directly to you.

She loves you. I think you need to expect her to look up to you from here on out.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, Health, marriage, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Holly: I’m So Tired I Could Cry, But You Sure are Worth It

20 weeks.

Dear Holly: I’m So Tired I Could Cry, But You Sure are Worth It

Dear Holly,

These are the days when my lunch breaks are spent sleeping in my car; waking up to the sound of my cell phone alarm after 55 minutes of deep sleep in the passenger seat of my old Honda Element.

These are the days in which Mommy and I try to be in bed by 9:00 PM; knowing that you’ll be waking up 3 more times before we have to officially wake up for work before 5:00 AM.

These are the days where unless we drive nearly 3 hours to Nonna and Papa’s for the weekend, we don’t get a break.

We both work full-time plus we are both fully involved parents.

But none of that is a burden because of the baby. That’s you.

You are so worth it.

How could I look at you and not just melt? How could I not simply be willing to do whatever it takes to make sure my little baby girl is cared for?

I keep reminding myself that to some degree, things will be much easier in about a month and a half, once you’re able to start eating solid foods. Even though there will be more prep and cleaning, the plan is that you’ll be able to sleep more solidly through the night.

So my eyes won’t always be bloodshot and my head won’t always feel like a bowling ball.

But as for now, these are the days of feeling like a zombie. When people ask me how I’m doing, I always positively respond, because I’m so grateful to have a healthy, happy little girl. That’s the part I focus on.

I choose not to tell them how that physically, I’m barely standing up.

Because other parents already know how this thing works.

You do anything for your baby- that’s normal. It is simply being a parent.

Love,

Daddy