fatherhood

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Dear Holly: You are Still Planning on Marrying Brooks, From Preschool

5 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

Seven months ago, when you were finishing up preschool, is when I became well aware of your boyfriend (?) Brooks from your class.

He even said right in front of me one time, “Holly, remember… I’m going to marry you one day!”

Well even though you’re halfway through Kindergarten now (a different one than him), you still haven’t forgotten what he said- despite not seeing him since August.

In the mornings before school, you often like to draw pictures. This week, you drew one that made it to the fridge; as it proclaims, “Brooks and Holly Get Married.”

This is going to be hilarious if you and Brooks ever cross paths again. I don’t even know his last name!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You’re So Chatty! (And Likely an Enneagram 7, Like Me)

5 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

This morning when I woke up at 5:55 AM to go to the gym (which was later than normal for me), you were coming down the stairs.

Normally, I give you a big hug, then you run into the bedroom to talk to Mommy.

But today, you immediately initiated would what become an hour long conversation with me, and would ultimately be the reason why today would be my one day off from the gym this week.

While the majority of your questions for me were light-hearted and hilarious (like, “Daddy, how many bucks will the Tooth Fairy even give me, though?”), I noticed some of them had a darker undertone, alluding to fear and anxiety.

As I’ve begun my certification training this week to become an Enneagram coach, I recognize your behavior, because it’s the same as mine! I think you may be an Enneagram 7 like me.

“Daddy, when I lose a tooth, will it hurt?”

“Daddy, if my toe breaks off, will it grow back?”

“Daddy, how can a skeleton believe in Jesus?” (This makes the 2nd time you’ve asked me this one.)

“Daddy, what can break a board? A person’s hand?”

“Daddy, what can break open a person’s head? Maybe if a house falls on them?”

You are an unbelievably bright, sunny, and optimistic person. You make people laugh and you are constantly moving- and talking!

Ultimately, if you’re like me, this is an attempt to outrun our secret anxieties and fears about how the world actually works.

We’re in this together! I know exactly what it’s like to have a brain that works like yours!

THE ENTHUSIAST
Enneagram Type Seven

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:
Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered

Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

  • Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain
  • Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You are Now a Yellow Belt in Taekwondo!

10 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

You have been faithfully committed to going to your weekly Taekwondo lessons at Red Tiger Martial Arts for nearly 3 months now- and this past week, your hard work paid off!

I was there to see you successfully pass your yellow belt testing; which included being able to do your poomsae (in English, “patterns” or “forms”) of blocks, punches, and kicks- as well as reciting several phrases in Korean, and most excitedly… breaking through a board on your first try!

Taekwondo is definitely your thing. You have discovered the perfect extracurricular activity to challenge you physically and mentally.

I am so proud to be there for each of your lessons- and especially your first belt testing- from white to yellow belt!

Love,

Daddy

 

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Dear Jack: The Family We’ve Become in the Past Decade

10 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Tonight before bedtime, as a family, we ended up randomly looking through our family’s photos on Mommy’s Facebook account. We spent about 20 minutes travelling back a solid decade; back to when you were still just a baby.

Back to when Mommy and I were brand-new parents, still in our 20s… and now we’re both 40!

And now, you’re less than a month away from turning 11 years old; as strange as that sounds to say.

From my perspective, it almost seems like when Mommy and I got married over 13 years ago, we were just playing house. Then, after a year, we found out about you coming along.

Flash forward to now: This is your last year of Elementary school. You do Taekwondo. You don’t really care so much about plastic toys anymore or Pokemon cards.

You’re growing up. And this whole time, I’ve been doing my best to not let a minute slip past me.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: Carving a Jack-O-Lantern with Papa

10 years, 10 months.

While Nonna was inside the house, painting baby pumpkins with Nonna in the kitchen, you were outside in the front yard with Papa carving up our family’s official Jack-O-Lantern for this Halloween season.

Thanks to some cheap props from the dollar store, you two were able to make a really cool, and scary, Jack-O-Lantern for us to display out on our front porch.

And that carved pumpkin alone serves as the extent of our family’s Halloween decorations, despite being surrounded by neighbors, and neighborhoods, of just about every other house decked out in huge inflatables and plastic skeletons in their front yards!

Dear Jack,

Love,

Daddy