My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

Since he was 7 months old, my son Jack has been in daycare/preschool. He’s currently finishing out Pre-K this year; starting Kindergarten in the fall.

This entire time, he has been around kids of all other races. This is Nashville; quite the ethnic melting pot.

No one has ever brought to his attention that people have “different colors” of skin from one another. He has yet to notice this on his own; that we are all ultimately different shades of brown.

He is aware that people have different hair colors and eye colors, but not skin colors.

I assume that at some point, perhaps within the next few years, he’ll learn from other kids at his school that people can be identified by their race.

Imagine: to be a kid who has no concept of race; or more importantly, prejudice or racism.

Without someone teaching them, I suppose kids don’t know these things?

Since I took my son to see the new Star Wars movie a week ago, he has kept bringing up Finn; one of the main characters and heroes:

“Daddy, look. This new Lego spaceship I made is like the one Finn flies on Star Wars!”

My son is completely unaware that Finn is of a different race. All my son knows is, Finn is a cool guy.

He’s just as clueless of any concept of race in regards to any of the wonderful people in our lives who happen to be of other races.

And my plan is to keep it that way, until the day comes when the topic is actually related to honoring and celebrating that person’s culture.

Why would I bring up their race anyway? It’s irrelevant to him and it’s irrelevant to me.

I believe in the importance of honoring and celebrating a person’s culture. But until then, I just don’t see a point in bringing up the topic of race to my son.

After all, he’s managed just fine without knowing for these first 5 years of his life. I don’t see how he’s at a disadvantage not knowing.

Laughing, Looking Back on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

After 7 and a half years of marriage, my wife took it upon herself to go through our hundreds of wedding photos and put the best of them in a new album for us to enjoy.

So we sat down a couple of weeks ago, before continuing our binge watching of Making a Murderer on Netflix, to look through our newly compiled wedding album.

I soon realized that I had probably seen most of those pictures only once before, about 7 and a half years ago when we first received the photos from the photographer we hired.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

The first thing I immediately noticed was how different I looked. Those were what I refer to as my “bloated Elvis days”.

That was back when I ate whatever I wanted. Those were the days I would secretly sneak in trips to McDonald’s without my then soon-to-be bride knowing about it; she herself hadn’t been there since 1999, when she simply got an ice cream cone from the drive-through.

Granted, my wife’s health conscious-mindset rubbed off on me, and as we all know, now years into my faithfully vegan lifestyle, I now live a life free of pet allergies, sinus infections, headaches, eczema (dishydrosis), and somewhere around 30 pounds extra that I was carrying around in these old pictures.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

The second thing I noticed was my beautiful bride at our wedding (age 26) looks just as beautiful today (age 34).

And the third thing I couldn’t help but notice was that, clearly, everyone there was having a truly wonderful time.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

When you’re in the middle of your own wedding and reception, you can only take in and remember so much; especially 7 and a half years later.

Seeing these pictures showed me that not simply did our guests have fun, but they had a remarkably entertaining night out in the legendary little big town of Nashville.

That’s a good thing, considering the financial investment that a wedding is.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

We had what I would consider a big wedding and big reception. I feel it was the kind of wedding you see in movies.

Even I myself had only been to a few weddings of that caliber.

It was a party. It was a feast.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

It was a wedding of Biblical proportions, where Jesus could have performed His first miracle; when He turned the water into wine.

Not to mention, it was the perfect opportunity for all the Baptists on my side to be able to get away with drinking alcohol; as it serves as a “special occasion” to keep their consciences from bothering them as badly; an unwritten rule in the by-laws of Baptist culture.

Meanwhile, my wife’s guests had no hesitation. (They come from a Catholic background… enough said.)

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

Not one person in any of these pictures look like they’re just standing there, bored. People are smiling, laughing, and dancing.

There’s this one funny picture where one of my soon-to-be brothers-in-law is dancing with one of my soon-to-be nephews, like they are at a prom. I laugh every time I see it.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

One of my favorite pictures of all these is one from the father-daughter dance.

My father-in-law passed away just a couple of months after our wedding. Knowing he was sick, my wife’s many siblings (she has 9) gathered around my wife and my father-in-law while Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Cinderella” played.

Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

I am so grateful for this candid shot of my father-in-law in that historic moment.

So while our wedding cost more than a decent car, looking back on it, it was one amazing wedding.

On my own, I wouldn’t have sat down and looked through our wedding pictures. But thanks to my wife taking the time to put together this new album, it was a blessing to revisit that special day.Laughing, Looking through on Our Wedding Album: 3 Things I Noticed

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets, Made from Brown Paper Sacks

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

Dear Jack,

Monday evening I came home from work, to discover a trail of 5 homemade cat puppets made from brown paper sacks; beginning at the front door, ending at the kitchen.

When I asked you about them, you just smiled but gave me no explanation.

By dinner time, about 30 minutes later, you began opening up.

You shared their names with me: Bouncy Cat, Wizard Cat, Shape Cat, Letter Cat, and Surprise Cat.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

I quickly noticed that each character had a related symbol drawn on its chest with a marker.

Bouncy Kitty had a red bouncy ball. Wizard Kitty had a magic hat.

I had to ask you, though: “Why does Surprise Kitty have that name?”

You immediately demonstrated. You stuck your hand inside the puppet and opening his mouth; revealing his teeth.

Turns out, Surprise Kitty is the only cat puppet has teeth when you open his mouth.

That’s the surprise.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

As you were gathering your cat puppets from off the carpet where you had them lined up, Mommy pulled me aside to explain, with a smile:

“Jack made ‘Care Cats’ today at school.”

Mommy and I figured out the story without having to say another word to each other:

This past weekend, as a family, we watched The Care Bears Movie on Netflix.

You were obviously inspired to create your own version: Care Cats.

After dinner, you went on to demonstrate how the Care Cats double as a juke box/CD player.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

You gave me some quarters to insert inside a Care Cat, which was lying between two pillows. But instead of a song playing, you just started dancing; inviting me to join you.

The next day, I came home to 3 new Care Cats. You insisted I feed them quarters “so they can go poop.” Obviously, lifting the Care Cats upright, causing the quarters to fell out, meant that they were relieving themselves.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

On your own, you found the old sock money dog bed that I used to place you in when you were a newborn, and you made that the bed for your Care Cats.

Dear Jack: Your “Care Cats” Puppets Made from Brown Paper Sacks

They sleep next to your bed now, so that you can keep an eye of them.

You are such a sweet and creative boy.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Your Due Date is Exactly 3 Months from Today!

27 weeks.

Dear Holly: Your Due Date is Exactly 3 Months from Today!

Dear Holly,

Today I visited Brilliant Sky Toys and Books and bought you your first official stuffed animal from Mommy and me.

For a few months now, we’ve had our eyes on this particular Jelly Cat bunny with a flower design for its ears: Blossom Bunny Posey.

It instantly made us think you; not overly dainty and princess-essy, but instead; sweet, eclectic, and understated.

I could be wrong, but that’s how I see you: sweet, eclectic, and understated.

The question: What kind of little girl will you be?

It’s something I think about constantly. Here’s my thought process so far…

Mommy is obviously beautiful, classy, and diligent in all she does. I know you will be like her in those ways.

Your brother Jack is creative, intelligent, and independent.

As for me, I am innovative, good at communication but horrible at math, and charming in an old-world sort of way.

We are the family you are being born into.

Over the next couple of years, you will develop your personality based on and around us.

I see you as artsy. I don’t see you as someone who demands attention. People will be drawn to you because you will be confident in who you are.

Something I assure you of as your Daddy is that I will instill that confidence in you, every day.

You will know you are beautiful. You will know you are loved. You will hear these things from me every day.

That’s one of my roles as your Daddy. I take pride in that job.

Granted, I will also brainwash you into believe that Frozen is an asinine movie because the parents locked their daughters in the rooms, not allowing them to communicate just because they were different.

Therefore, I will celebrate with you the better Disney girl movie choice, Inside Out. It demonstrates how good parents raise their daughters; from an emotionally intelligent perspective.

Yeah, your Daddy’s going to be a little bit different… maybe even a little bit kooky. But you’ll never have to wonder about my love for you.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

5 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

Dear Jack,

Tuesday at 1:00 AM, I shot straight out of bed and ran upstairs. I didn’t use to have such stellar hearing when it comes to a child crying in the middle of the night, but that skill has evolved over the past 5 years.

When I arrived in your room, you were sitting up in your bed. You explained, “I had a scary dream. The house was on fire and the fireman came.”

I quickly assured you, “Well there’s definitely no fire in our house. I’m here. It was just a dream. There are no firemen here. Just us.”

You and I both knew why you had that bad dream. The morning before, as our family was about to leaving for school and work, we all noticed a strange chemical smell in the garage.

I thought it smelled like nail polish remover; you thought it smelled like chlorine in the swimming pool.

After Mommy pulled her car out of the garage, much of the smell went away; though the smell was still very strong inside my car.

Our plan was this: When we get home, let’s not park in the garage. Instead, let’s keep the garage door closed, that way we can walk into the garage through the smaller door, to see if the smell has replenished itself.

That is indeed what happened, but I also had Mommy call the non-emergency line for the fire department.

When I arrived home, you and Mommy were sitting in Mommy’s parked car in the driveway; as the fireman explored our garage, and house, in all their fancy equipment.

Dear Jack: Your First Scary Dream, Which was Based on Actual Events

Interestingly, after their thorough investigation, they found no sort of gas or chemical leak. They found no reason for concern.

The best theory they, or we, could come up with is that we had recently opened the box for Holly’s new stroller; and somehow the “new smell” from that accumulated into the garage, which is on the other side of our living room.

This marks the first time I ever remember you having a scary dream and calling me up. I wish you didn’t have to dream that, but I’m glad we had our place professional inspected to make sure we truly are safe.

Love,

Daddy