Recaps

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We Are Not “Settled” in Our House Yet… But We Did Sell our Tennessee Home

As I am now regularly seeing people in Fort Payne (I have recently moved back exactly 25 years after graduating high school from here), the immediate question I get is an optimistic, “Are you all settled in now?”

I then explain that we are still waiting on the cabinets to be fully installed and we are also finishing up some of the bathroom renovations.

The next question: “Well, are you at least moved in to your new house?”

I again disappoint by answering that we still have our belongings split between our new house and my parents’ house.

The third question is now less enthusiastic than the first two: “Do you know when you might be able to move in?”

I turn the question back on them: “I was hoping you could tell me, actually?”

In a last ditch effort to obtain some kind of hopeful response from such a realistic narrator, the final question: “Did you at least sell your house in Tennessee?”

And with that, I get to officially give a confident and direct answer: “Yes we did! Last week, we paid $150 for a mobile notary to drive to our house so we could sign the papers to complete the sale- and to prevent us from having to drive back to Nashville.”

Now, if you’re looking for a more humorous version of that answer, then I would go on in detail to tell it like this:

It mattered to me that that whoever ended up buying our home was worthy. We not only invested in major upgrades each year, but we also took immaculate care of it: No smoking, no dogs, no cats, and no shoes on in the house.

There was surely some psychology involved in our decision a few years ago when we decided to get all new flooring in our Tennessee home; that the entire stairway and upstairs floor would exclusively be white carpet.

When you have white carpet in your home, with kids, it means that by default, you have to hold yourselves to a higher standard as the homeowners to take especially good care of it.

Therefore, we made it a rule that that anyone who came to see our house to potentially buy it had to take off their shoes at the front door. The thing is, we couldn’t enforce that since they were visiting our home while we were not there.

So starting with the very first visitors, I carefully surveyed all the white carpet to look for any evidence of shoeprints.

And sure enough, the very first visitors definitely wore shoes on our white carpet despite.

It was the ultimately betrayal. I felt like Willy Wonka when Charlie didn’t give back the Everlasting Gobstopper at first…. like Michael Scott when he thought Jan cheated on him… like Larry David when he discovers a person doesn’t use drink coasters… like Chris Harrison realizing some of the contestants might not be there for the right reasons. In the likeness of that classic Seinfeld character we all know, I angrily muttered to myself, “No house for you!”

I immediately announced to my wife and our real estate agent, that whoever visited our house just now, I know for a fact: They are not serious about buying our house. Next!

Of course, I was right.

Like Jason Segel in I Love You, Man… I had easily and accurately predicted that person was not serious about buying my house.

Beginning with the 2nd visitor, our agent sent us a box of shoe covers for everyone to wear to place at our front door.

Fortunately, we only had to show our house for one week before the right buyers came along. I was relieved because I work from home; meaning I had to magically disappear for an hour when I received the 2 hour notice that new visitors had scheduled a viewing. It only took 5 viewers seeing our house in that one week for the right buyer to make an offer.

But yes, we now officially sold our house in Tennessee. The money has been transferred to our account.

So despite the ongoing ambiguity of when we are finally going to move into our Alabama home, and thereafter, actually “settle in”, we can at least check one more huge item off the list:

We sold our Tennessee home for about double what we paid for it 9 year-and-half years ago and our house only had to be on the market for one week and have 5 viewers.

If I wasn’t so distracted by the remaining renovations on our Alabama home, I might actually be able to a moment to celebrate that!

Officially: Our goal is to officially move in this weekend, making it exactly 4 weeks that we have lived with my parents during the transition.

2 Comments Posted on fatherhood, marriage, parenting, People, Recaps, spanking, Storytelling, Uncategorized, vegan

Millennial Parents Respond to Mayim Bialik’s “Competitive Moms” Story

My wife and I recently published a video for our YouTube channel for this blog, giving our reaction to Mayim Bialik’s story on People.com, called Mayim Bialik Reveals She “Left in Tears” After First Group Meeting with “Competitive Moms”.

Her story addresses the fact that Millennials live in a version of the world in which so many parents feel the need to compete with one another. This creates an environment in which those who are not “competing” often feel judged by those who are.

In our own video responding to the story, I explained that the real issue with parents who feel the need to compete with others in their parenting style and skills is this:

They are insecure in their identity not only as individuals, but as parents.

It goes back to junior high when I learned this from my mom; that the kids who were most likely to tease others were simply revealing that they were actually more insecure than the kids they were making fun of.

And now as adults, this same concept continues:

The most insecure parents have the biggest need to project an image of themselves as the “better” parents. And sure, social media helps encourage the competition.

“Mirror, mirror, on my Facebook wall, who’s the fairest parent of them all?”

People tend to seek confirmation when they communicate in social media. They are often seeking approval from their peers to confirm that they are cool, they are funny, they are beautiful, they are relevant, and/or they are good parents.

But what if you simply don’t that need confirmation and therefore, you have no reason to compete?

Insecure parents compete with other another, while slightly clueless yet confident parents ignore the competition all together.

In our video, my wife and I explain that none of us parents truly know what we’re doing. We can’t.

I explain that if you are competing with other parents, you are automatically losing that competition. The only way to “win” is not to play at all.

Instead, all we can do is the best we know how and hope it works out in the end. But as we “practice” parenting, the last thing we should worry about is some silly ongoing competition on the best way to parent.

I explain that while all of us are clueless to some degree, we can still show we are secure in our own identity as individuals and as parents by simply accepting that our own parenting methods are no better than others’, and therefore, we have no reason to seek confirmation or approval in a competition, or to judge other parents for making different decisions than us.

For example, my wife and I do not spank our children. We discipline them, but we have never physically struck them. That’s the culture in our household.

However, that doesn’t mean we have any interest in judging parents who do spank their children. After all, my wife and I are in the minority in this.

Similarly, we have no desire to judge other parents for what they let their children eat. Yes, I am a vegan and my wife and children are vegetarians. But that doesn’t mean we believe everyone should do as we do. We simply don’t care.

Let other people live their own lives. As for us, we’ll live our own. It’s that simple.

When you are focused on doing what is right for your own family, how can you have time to worry about whether other parents are doing it better or worse than you?

My wife and I definitely do not have it all figured out. We never will. We automatically disqualify ourselves from the competition.

You’re more than welcome to join us.

1 Comment Posted on book review, fatherhood, People, Recaps, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Almost a Minyan: Jewish Children’s Book Review (A Coming-of-Age Story of a 13 Year-old Hebrew Girl, Dealing with Her Grandfather’s Death)

Almost a Minyan: Jewish Children’s Book Review (A Coming-of-Age Story of a 13 Year-old Hebrew Girl, Dealing with Her Grandfather’s Death)

My son Jack was excited to see we received a new book in the mail: Almost a Minyan, by Lori S. Kline. Granted, when I first read him the title, his eyes lit up as he looked for a picture on the cover of a “minion” from the Despicable Me movie series…

But as I read the book to him for bedtime, he was still very intrigued despite realizing that “minyan” is also a Hebrew word. As I read him the story, he learned about a tween girl from a close Jewish family.

After regularly seeing her father and grandfather regularly attend their town’s minyan (a public worship group of ten adults), she and her father experience a character arc after her grandfather passes away.

Almost a Minyan: Jewish Children’s Book Review (A Coming-of-Age Story of a 13 Year-old Hebrew Girl, Dealing with Her Grandfather’s Death)

On the verge of her 14th birthday, she realizes she can be the one to qualify as the 10th adult necessary to keep the minyan going.

For Jewish families, this book will surely reinforce and further illustrate the traditions of the Hebrew faith.

For families outside the Jewish fold, this book will surely still engage the reader, as it introduces a new (yet ancient) culture.

Thanks for reading my book review today. I will close with basic marketing information of Almost a Minyan:

Almost a Minyan: Jewish Children’s Book Review (A Coming-of-Age Story of a 13 Year-old Hebrew Girl, Dealing with Her Grandfather’s Death)

Release date: April 4, 2017

Publisher: Sociosights Press

Price: $17.99

Kindle Price: $7.99

Pages: 40

Distribution: Itasca Books, Amazon/Ingram

eBook Distribution: Kindle, Nook

Website: http://www.sociosights.com

1 Comment Posted on fatherhood, Nostalgia, parenting, Recaps, reviews, Uncategorized

Parental Review: Stranger Things (Netflix Original Series- Season 1)

Parental Review: Stranger Things (Netflix Original Series- Season 1)

It appears that 2006 is the year for 1983.

First was this summer’s X-Men Apocalypse, and more recently, Disney’s reboot of Pete’s Dragon, both same in that marvelous year in history. And of course, Netflix’s Stranger Things.

I personally have had an obsession with 1983 since I was in Junior High, about a decade later. The culture, the style, the music, the movies, and the TV shows were so enjoyable.

Even John Mayer backs up my theory in his song, “83”, where he admits, “Had it make in ’83.”

So it makes sense to me that people today, in 2016, continue to enjoy seeing the year 1983 brought back to life.

Stranger Things

I am thoroughly impressed by the seemingly flawless way the Duffer Brothers have captured 1983 in their new sci-fi thriller, Stranger Things.

There is no question that Stranger Things is an exceptional TV show, like Breaking Bad and Lost.

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But the question you might be asking, as a parent, is at what age Stranger Things would be appropriate for your child to watch.

While I can’t answer that question for you, I can give you a brief overview of elements of the show which ultimately give Stranger Things what I deem as the equivalent of an intense PG-13 rated movie.

Profanity:

While there are no major curse words, like “g—d—“ or “f—“, every episode contains multiple uses of “sh—“ and many of the episodes contain the phrase “son of a b—-“ and/or “d-ck”. I should point out that much of the the profanity is by the 12 year-old boys, in addition to the adult characters.

Sex/Nudity:

Most episodes are free of sensuality, but there is an early episode in which 2 teenagers (who are protagonists) engage in sexual activity. While no nudity is shown, the bedroom scene is not a quick one. The event is referenced briefly again in a later episode, in which the girl is referred to as a “sl-t” by the boy she had sex with.

Violence:

There is violence throughout the series, including a girl’s telepathic ability to break bones and even kill people. Additionally, there are many uses of guns and weapons.

Drugs/Alcohol:

There is occasional use of cigarettes and beer by some of the adult characters.

Dark Themes:

The overall theme of Stranger Things has to do with connecting to a darker, sinister parallel universe; as people are being taken there from the 1983 version of Indiana. Again, one of the main characters is able to excess her telepathic abilities.

Stranger Things is by no means a family friendly show, yet it is definitely fascinating, intriguing, and addicting.

As for a child watching it, I say the best comparison for inappropriate content for children would be Lost; regarding profanity, sex, violence, drugs/alcohol, and dark themes.

However, it’s up to the individual parent to decide at what age.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, Recaps, Uncategorized

Fuller House Recaps- S1: E5 “Mad Max”

Fuller House Recaps- S1: E5 “Mad Max”

In the canon of the first season of Fuller House, this episode ultimately feels like a filler episode, with the exception of one major revelation:

Stephanie explains to DJ, at the end of the episode, that she is unable to have children.

While I’m sure the writers of Fuller House want the audience to focus the majority of their attention of who DJ will end up with, I don’t.

Instead, I’m sort of obsessed with the fact that the writers have made such a conscious effort to paint Stephanie as the ultimate middle child.

Here she is at age 34, without a real job, without a family of her own, and without any real direction in her life.

Now on top of that, she has recently find out that even when she does settle down and start a family of her own, she can’t have her own biological children.

This plot line is crucial to the character of Stephanie finally beginning to start acting her age. She is now realizing that by infusing herself more fully in to DJ’s family, she can begin to have a sense of being needed by a family again.

To further illustrate this, Stephanie helps “Mad Max” gain confidence by letting him practice his song to Stephanie’s audience, via her cell phone.

This is also the episode where there’s a classic misunderstanding when Ramona flushes a baby diaper down the toilet, causing DJ to believe that a guy who Kimmy set her up with online is actually the plumber. From there, innuendos follow to help ensure we know that Fuller House is not a G-rated show.

Please mark my word. The aspect of Fuller House that is the most intriguing is not DJ, but instead Stephanie.

For this show to really go somewhere, we will have to see Stephanie truly grow into her age; because truly, right now, she’s about a decade behind.

She’s not the typical 34 year-old. Leave it to Stephanie’s family to change that.

Also, here’s my own video version of this recap as well: