This past Saturday made the 3rd year Mommy and I have taken you to Walden Farm to pick out some pumpkins and to enjoy all the related festivities. Of course, it made the 1st time for your sister.
Though we dressed for fall weather, it actually felt more like summer. Had we known, we would have all worn shorts.
We started out by going on the hay ride. You always love to find all the hidden objects out in the field.
It was funny because just earlier that morning I was telling Mommy how I would like to take you to a “scary house” at some point. Fortunately, they had one there at Walden Farms.
For 5 Walden Bucks, you and I got to access the playground area which included a scary house that was appropriate for you. At your age, I would have been too afraid to even enter. Not you though- you went through it twice. You thought it was really cool.
You also got to go on the cool tube slide on the hill. Plus, you climbed the haystack mountain.
This also made the first time you rode the tractor train by yourself.
I love how our visit this year was different than the others- because now, you are old enough to do the big boy stuff.
Before this year, you liked to hang out at the toddler table, playing with the toy trucks and bulldozers in the sand.
But this time, you just enjoyed exploring the parts of Walden Farm that you never had before.
Meanwhile, your sister Holly had a much more relaxed experience; enough so that she was asleep for part of it.
We had a wonderful time as a family. Maybe next year your sister can join you in the train.
In the routine of coming home from work each day and playing with you while Mommy makes dinner for our family, one of the things I catch myself saying is, “Daddy loves baby ‘cause baby’s soooo sweeeeet!”
And while it’s true that you are undeniably sweet, and everything I could ever hope for in a baby girl, I began overthinking my catch phrase; in an “if/then” format.
It’s not, I love you because you’re so sweet.
It’s, I love you, period.
While I do my best to love everyone, even those who may be perceived as frenemies, enemies, or people who are simply indifferent towards me, it’s different for you and it always will be.
You are my daughter. I love you in a way that I love no one else in this world. The way I love you is so special.
No one else can make me feel the way I do about you.
I felt it from the moment you were born on April 24th. I will never forget holding you for the first time.
It wasn’t that I simply had another kid now. Instead, it was the instant and euphoric understanding that for the rest of my life, I will be the loving father of a daughter.
I will be responsible for showing you what love looks like. I am honored to be the most influential example of what a man is, in your life.
That’s huge responsibility and I take it very seriously.
You will be loved. You will know every day you are loved. Yet at the same time, I will carefully balance giving you room to grow on your own.
I never realized until this year, 2016, how much I needed a daughter. You have already changed my life forever.
Mommy showed me a worksheet you completed last week, in which you described and illustrated what you did over the 4 day Columbus Day weekend. Immediately, I noticed the section you devoted to my Grandma’s funeral.
You clearly drew her casket, with the elaborate flowers that were on top, with one of the pews next to it. I am definitely impressed by the details you put it to that.
I know that when Nonna finds out about your drawing, she will especially appreciate the fact you remembered the flowers, because it was very important to Nonna that Grandma’s casket had beautiful and elaborate flowers on top of it.
You noticed those flowers enough to include them in your drawing. That’s amazing to me.
Throughout history, people have naturally created art to preserve images of things they value. You valued those flowers. You valued being there at my Grandma’s funeral.
You also drew Nonna and Papa’s house, and the pool next to it.
And apparently the road trip back to Tennessee was of value to you as well, since you made sure to document a picture of us driving back home, from Alabama where the funeral was.
Since your school was out both Friday and Monday for Columbus Day, you went to the extended day program at your sister’s daycare.
You enjoyed being there so much! You were so excited to go back on Monday, having been there Friday. As your drawing indicates, you very much valued spending the day with your friends Jenna and Vera.
I will always value your artwork. It’s never just about your drawing skills. Instead, it’s about the stories your drawings tell.
You had some weekend homework to do. So after I finished cleaning the bathrooms, hosing out your sandbox and putting it away in the garage, then sweeping out the dead spiders and dust from the garage, I sat down with you at the kitchen table to help you with your assignment on Christopher Columbus.
The instructions were to have a parent help you research the origin and history of Columbus Day, then determine for yourself in your own opinion, as a Kindergartner, whether you believe we should or should not celebrate Columbus Day.
With Mommy knowing I am a closet conspiracy theorist, she suggested I should be the parent to help you with your homework assignment. So you and I got to work, to verify what I already knew about Columbus Day.
After simply Googling “Columbus Day” on my own, only clicking on sites that ended in org., I read to you how Christopher Columbus landed in the Caribbean Islands, not the United States, while attempting to find a better route to Asia. I read to you how he and his men took back some of the native people and made them work for them, to understate it; and that Columbus’s men also took back some of the native’s riches to Europe, as well.
As I read this to you, I made a point not to add to the text, so that you could truly develop your own opinion.
I went on to read that Christopher Columbus supervised his men threatening the people of the “new land” with violence if they did not convert to Christianity.
After reading those few excerpts from a few official resources online (all ending in .org), you quickly marked “should not” on your homework assignment.
Even if no one can know for certain the details, it seems that you perceive Christopher Columbus like a Marvel villain, not a superhero.
I then helped you spell the rest of the answers, which explained to your teacher and your classmates why you believe we should not celebrate Columbus Day.
Then, in your wisdom, you said to me (and Mommy, who was on the other side of the kitchen counter, finishing dinner), “Daddy, I think I’m going to be the only one in my class who says we shouldn’t celebrate Columbus Day.”
However, you said this in a tone that indicated confidence and determination, not fear or anxiety.
I responded, “You’re right. There’s a good chance of that. But I like your answer. You make a good point. Why should we celebrate a man who took other people away from their families and would possibly kill them if they didn’t start believing in God? And did he really discover new land if there were already people living there in the first place?”
As your answer explained, if you were Christopher Columbus, you wouldn’t have taken the people or their belongings back to Europe.
While I may not be the most popular parent, and while I may not be helping you to have the easy answer for your homework assignment, I believe what I am doing is helping you to truly think for yourself.
You will stand alone sometimes in your beliefs, throughout your entire life. But if your stance celebrates and honors what is morally right, even if it goes against mainstream tradition, you can stand up proud in your solitude.
Still though, you can know that I am standing up with you, even if I’m not physically there with you. Because I support my son who stands up for what is right, especially when it’s the unpopular thing to do.
We had just left the San Diego Zoo Safari Park when Grandma (Mommy’s Mommy) decided that after a morning in the California sun, frozen yogurt sounded like a good idea.
So we used the GPS on the 2016 Mitsubishi Outlander to find a glorious place called The Golden Spoon, a franchise which has apparently been in existence since 1983.
I’ve learned that “pay by the ounce” frozen yogurt shops are indeed safe for me as a vegan, because they always have a sorbet option and fruit selections for my toppings.
We all were very pleased with our choices and it turned out that Grandma had made a good call in suggested we go out for frozen yogurt.
Your brother Jack wanted to eat outside so I took him out to the patio while you, Mommy, and Grandma remained on the sofa inside.
After Jack and I finished our treats, Jack wanted to come see what you were up to.
Fortunately, I took several pictures of what happened next, on both my phone and camera. It made me so proud and gracious as the dad of such precious children.
I captured the moment, as your brother hugged you and held you close. The look on your face clearly revealed how fascinated you are by him. You are truly amazed by your brother. And similarly, he loves to engage you in being cuddled up together.
It’s official: I have cuddlebugs for kids.
And this isn’t something that only happens occasionally. Instead, he does this daily with you.
But in that paramount moment, I felt required to send out an Instagram pretty much immediately, sharing, “Whole lot of love.”
It could have simply been a fun trip for frozen yogurt, but fortunately, I saw a heart-warming moment that I will never forget.
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